About time I start responding to reviews, plus I'm distracting myself from studying. Somehow doing that I still managed to write 2k words for the next chapter even when I was to be 'studying.' Anyway...

Nonjon~ Thanks for the very large sign. I think next time maybe I will bold it, knock up the font size and sprinkle it with glitter But either way as a writer reviews anywhere are encouraging.

MysterioX~ Glad you enjoyed the conclusion. Next update will be a little delayed by my alleged studying for exams. They will be over this Saturday. Thanks.

Cataclysmic~ Thanks for the excited review. I am enjoying having everyone confuse Harry's identity, on any and every level. Though all such things are plot lines and will develop. Both the Occisor Draconigena and Outsider are story lines, the latter being a bigger one.

Point about Mai talking too much is noted...maybe a ball gag should be included next time?

Jeram~ I personally didn't feel the scene was too S&P'ish, given especially DLP standard makers like The Office. The genesis of that scene was your demand after all But it helped me highlight a few things that are important. First and foremost is Dresden's will power, which is something that comes into play in the books and the TV show quite a bit. Regardless of his formidable Magical power at his young age, by Dresden verse standards, he sets himself apart by his notorious stubbornness or kindly said strength of will. Secondly, Mai's comment about the 'taint' of his blood and not knowing his name, etc, is a hint of some over arching story lines I will be using in this fic. The rest was an attempt to show a test of him with pleasure more than pain, according to some the former is harder to resist...and that was what Mai was doing to him.

You point about Harry's madness is noted, I have several comments on that from reviewers this time. It is difficult for me to judge sometime when I fully understand the method behind his madness. I did introduce the element of him realizing that he is ill and needs to recover, this will be a process. In the mean time I hope you enjoy the comedy this device provides.

Downer~ Thanks for pointing those out, I went back and edited them. Glad you liked the humor...let's me know I'm not the only one chuckling.

Ferrovax/Surrarin/Nicodemus/Jon~ You should have mate, you should have. After all the 'lulzy' kink that was the only way I could go.

Rehio~ Very glad the wait for you was worth it. An ecstatic review like that gets the motivation going.

 

So I'm finally replying to reviews, sorry about the delay.

parselmaster~ I'm always glad to see a review from someone who is not completely familiar with Dresden Files. Don't worry there are quite a few in your boat. My goal is to write this fic in a way that you only need to know of Harry Potter to enjoy it. So keep me honest and when you see a concept that is unclear and hasn't been explained in the following chapter or two, drop me a review here saying I need to revisit it. Thank for reviewing.

Oujou~ Sweet, glad you checked out Dresden Files because of this fic. Both the show and the books are very recommended. I wonder what part of the fic made you almost lose control? Very curious to know that. Also happy to know the humor is working and it isn't just my sense telling me its funny. And don't cry, Dresden won in the end didn't he? Thanks for the reviews.

Squash~ Thanks for dropping a review in this thread as well. Most people have strong opinions about the TV show, I'm glad you are one of those enjoying my choice to use it as the main source of canon. Good to know about battles, I am honestly concerned about those, want to make sure they don't get bogged down in description and yet are engaging enough than simple he cursed, she hexed back exchanges. Happy that you like semi crazy!Harry, let me know what you think of his madness in the latest chapter. I have a number of reviews telling me he is getting a bit much. Thanks again.

World~ Thanks for pointing out my typo in such a clever manner. I will fix it in my copy, unfortunately too late to catch it for FF.net. As always the return of Wizard Cat is much loved.

Aekiel~ My poor innocent friend, It wasn't rape it was non-con sex...as Vash would say. Hell it wasn't even sex, it was a battle of wills.
Kay, I've picked on you for this enough...just admit you have the hots for Mai!

Anna~Thanks for the rave review. Always good to know how the characterization is working out. I know you're a fan of crazy!Harry, so I'm sure you didn't mind him in this chapter. And it was written for not all the sexually starved people out there...It was written for Jeram And other Ancient Mai fans. Besides what's a Dresden fic without some sporting? Thanks again.

Kolskit~ Sounds like there are some grammatical errors I'm repeating if they're annoying you. Mind pointing them out to me? That way I can watch for them. My stance is that I want to improve my writing, and fanfic is the medium, so don't feel hesitant to be picky.

As far as the 'traffic jamb' plot lines, well there are several overarching story lines, and I am challenged by giving them all time and spacing them out. To a degree this fic is still in its set up stage. A lot of characters, ideas, magical elements, politics, and conflicts have been introduced. As a classic story telling rules tell us I should be reaffirming and even repeating some of the things I have already introduced. Following that, and how several readers are unaware of Dresden Verse I will err on the side of being thorough. Thanks for the review.

DarthBill~ Good to see your review and high rating. Now what do I need to do to earn the .2 points I lost? Anyway, another fan of mental Harry makes my day. I do enjoy writing him that way...though eventually I have to cure him of it, which is annoying but development is necessary.

I like using Dresden's point of view because it helps me show how everyone perceives Harry Potter. For example the battle scene with Morgan, if it was all from Potter's point of view, then a flame freezing charm would be hardly interesting. Seeing it from Dresden's pov, gave a comical (to me at least) and sort of grand view of Potter's powers. The other reason I'm using it is that I find Dresden an engaging character and lastly it is a writing experiment of mine, and now that I am committed to it, I want to follow it through. I planned on the division of POV to be 50% Potter and 50% Dresden. Dividing the chapters between them...it hasn't exactly worked out like that, but here's hoping I manage it in the upcoming chapters.

Mai/Dresden Scene​

I thought I would address this in general. Beyond and more importantly than the humoristic kink, it was a display of battle of wills. A test by pleasure more than pain, an exercise in very obvious dominance. I had hoped to display Dresden's power by using that scene as a vehicle. 'Will' in Dresden verse magic is at the crux of power. By showing how Dresden fared I wished to show his control, power and potential. Which is something I have only vaguely managed to do with battle scenes; those have been dominated by Potter so far.

This fic is based first on the TV show, second on the books. The TV show is largely pre books, where Dresden, though a significant wizard magically, is really at the earlier stages of his development. I hope that through my fic I can bring out how he grows into his power and establish for you what he has already mastered and that is his 'will.'

Ironically, as far as developing his magical strength is concerned Dresden is behind Potter. Simply because of different systems of magic and secondly a Dresden Verse wizard lives up to 300, they begin to reach their potential closer to their first century.

Potter, so far is more accomplished than Dresden, by measures established by his world. He has defeated his tormentor, and wielded, as I am writing some incredibly powerful Light magic to do so. He has yet to grow as well, since we know wizards become more powerful with age even in the Potter verse. And he has not yet uncovered the Power He Knows Not...until further notice known as Nymphie Staffcharmer.

 

Good new chapter nuhuh, I liked how Harry still doesn't understand much about this realm's magic, and how he circumvented the oath . He now has the Gatekeeper's Name... That will be useful.

5/5 again nuhuh, keep it up .

Aekiel

 

Hey nuhuh, glad to see your writing dresden again.

I have to admit tough, It was a bit confusing.

I like the fact that Rashid had power over Harry(litteraly) because he knew his secrets.

Not sure if thats a cannon dresden thing or not, but it was a good idea to me. But I was getting a bit tired halfway thorugh by his wording of events.

Having to make sense of everything he says was a tad frustrating to me. I couldn't really connect with it like I could with other chapters.

See with Harry's crazyness, it's understandable, there a certain logic to it that I can follow along.

Even though I'm seeing Rashid's logic in the end, the journey to understand it was too much for me. I don't know whther that was intentional to convey how frustrated Harry was in the situation, but it hindered this chapter in my opinion.

Now to the plot. First things first, Kudos on having Harry apply his own terms to the oath. too many stories have harry just aggreeing blindly and following whatever terms the other person sets.

For a while there with snape, I almost thought that just maybee, Harry wasn't imagining his figments but were calling forth impressions of the dead or something, that thought has flittered about in my mind for a while when reading your chapters. Don't know if I'm reading too much into it or not...

It would be more believable to me if Harry would snap at Rashid when he says that harry has to do things for repayment for traveling to this dimention.

unless I'm wrong, Harry was pulled into the dimetion by others. Though he became free of his prision he has also had to protect others and face some shit. this kinda harry seems like the kinda person who would point that out, maybee reversing it and saying that Rashid owes him for not stopping them from pulling him into the dimetion in the first place...

actually thats a good question. Why didn't Rashid do that, just kill the wizards who were summoning harry before any of the crazy stuff happens. thus keeping murphy from the soul gaze, the innocent children from being killed, and all that other stuff. If theres an actual reason, I'd just like to point out that it would be better if it wasn't some mystic rule where he can't change the past for some odd reason that didn't apply to him before when he just did. I'd prefer if it was something less altruistic and really he wants harry to take care of some issue. It would make him seem less righteous and victimized. Something that doesn't make a good foundation for a character in my opinon.

I still hope you have harry and dresden laying the hurt on the white council or atleast mai and morgan. More mai than morgan.

also as a suggestion. I'd add more detail about when Harry heard the voice.

The whole space inbetween there and finding rashid, had me wondering where harry was. Maybee describe the setting a bit, are there buildings around, people... that kinda stuff.

Anyway, even though I complained a bit, I did like the chapter.

Just think it needs some tweeking.

Quazi

Edit: I didn't see the review bit, sorry. I'm just gonna copy this post there then.

 

The new chapter is wonderful. Demon's Feign, Merlin's Pain is quickly becoming the story that I am looking forward to the most besides Thalarian's story.

5/5

 

Hey nuhuh, glad to see your writing dresden again.

I have to admit tough, It was a bit confusing.

I like the fact that Rashid had power over Harry(litteraly) because he knew his secrets.

Not sure if thats a cannon dresden thing or not, but it was a good idea to me. But I was getting a bit tired halfway thorugh by his wording of events.

Having to make sense of everything he says was a tad frustrating to me. I couldn't really connect with it like I could with other chapters.

See with Harry's crazyness, it's understandable, there a certain logic to it that I can follow along.

Even though I'm seeing Rashid's logic in the end, the journey to understand it was too much for me. I don't know whther that was intentional to convey how frustrated Harry was in the situation, but it hindered this chapter in my opinion.

Now to the plot. First things first, Kudos on having Harry apply his own terms to the oath. too many stories have harry just aggreeing blindly and following whatever terms the other person sets.

For a while there with snape, I almost thought that just maybee, Harry wasn't imagining his figments but were calling forth impressions of the dead or something, that thought has flittered about in my mind for a while when reading your chapters. Don't know if I'm reading too much into it or not...

It would be more believable to me if Harry would snap at Rashid when he says that harry has to do things for repayment for traveling to this dimention.

unless I'm wrong, Harry was pulled into the dimetion by others. Though he became free of his prision he has also had to protect others and face some shit. this kinda harry seems like the kinda person who would point that out, maybee reversing it and saying that Rashid owes him for not stopping them from pulling him into the dimetion in the first place...

actually thats a good question. Why didn't Rashid do that, just kill the wizards who were summoning harry before any of the crazy stuff happens. thus keeping murphy from the soul gaze, the innocent children from being killed, and all that other stuff. If theres an actual reason, I'd just like to point out that it would be better if it wasn't some mystic rule where he can't change the past for some odd reason that didn't apply to him before when he just did. I'd prefer if it was something less altruistic and really he wants harry to take care of some issue. It would make him seem less righteous and victimized. Something that doesn't make a good foundation for a character in my opinon.

I still hope you have harry and dresden laying the hurt on the white council or atleast mai and morgan. More mai than morgan.

also as a suggestion. I'd add more detail about when Harry heard the voice.

The whole space inbetween there and finding rashid, had me wondering where harry was. Maybee describe the setting a bit, are there buildings around, people... that kinda stuff.

Anyway, even though I complained a bit, I did like the chapter.

Just think it needs some tweeking.

Quazi

 

Wow, now that's what I call a mind fuck. Brilliant chapter - I like what you've done with the Gatekeeper.

 

Frankly I found it way too confusing. I really don't understand what was all this stuff about travel in time and space, why Harry is interested by that, all this things about rashid having a power over Harry etc..

As you see I didn't understand a lot. I hope that all of this will make more sense later.

And it was really trying to make sense of the insane rambling of Harry and the obscure speech of rashid.

I don't if it's because I know nothing about Dresden files or it's just me...

 

Finnally your back with a new chapter. Gonna read it sometime later. sheesh! you girls always gotta keep a guy waiting. Is there no justice in the world?! lol!

 

I didn't think it was that hard to understand at all.... Rashid is the Gatekeeper.... and I'm fairly sure it's in 'Summer Knight' that it is pointed out that he can move through time..... now, take that into account along with Harry's deja vu and what they talk about.... what we've read so far in this story is the altered history.... in the original timeline Karrin died and Harry really thought that she was his mom.... he waged a hundred year war to destroy the White Council.... and won.... but Rashid was able to go back and alter things so they happened as they have in what we've read so far.......

confusing, a bit, as I've tried to explain it... but that's time travel... harry wants to learn how to time travel so he can go back and save his parents....


anyway, keep up the good work!

 

I think nuhuh's a guy. Unless you know something about him that we don't. And in that case, I don't want to know.

 

I understand the plot of the chapter, I didn't say that it wasn't understandable. I just said it was to difficult to piece together in my opinion.

it was the process of understanding it all that kinda left me unhappy. usually there should be an ah ha moment for these kinds of things, where you get satisfaction for finally figuring out what it all means. I didn't get that, just relieved that it was over. The later half of Rashids dialogue was much better in my opinion cause it made some sense.

the first half though was like...

"I like fish chips..." Rashid stated sadly.
"So I destroyed the world in the other timeline..." Harry asked in shock.

"Your wasabi is stale and I feel horny for potatoes..." Rashid emphaticly yelled while slamming his fists on the table.

"I destroyed the world in the other timeline because I though the girl I copped a feel was my mom when she died." Harry realized. "Damn."

"Duracel."Rashid said in aggrement...

Yes that was highly exagerated, but still. thats what it was like for me.

No offence Nuhuh, I don't want to offend. I just wanted to explain my point.

but while I'm posting... lulz for havign harry cop a feel on murphy. That was classic.

 

Hello? McFly?

Once more a little larger in case you missed it:

Since simple directions trip some people up, I'll even give you the link to this fic's library thread: http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=5488

 

I moved the posts that weren't supposed to be in the story thread to this one per request.

WALLAH!

 

Wow. This explains everything. Great chapter.

 

Nice update on Chapter 8.
I love the Gatekeeper/Potter interaction, especially loved the verbal magic Potter is unwittingly using. The alternate/historical timeline thingy was an interesting concept, to say the least. You could probably write an entire story based on that.

Now, in the words of a friend, MOAR

 

Aekiel~ Thanks mate, glad you liked it so much. And yes Harry is very new to this realm so he understands very little. He is mixing voldemort’s voice magical abilities with the Name magic of Dresden verse. It’ll be fun when he learns Dresden magic.

Quazi~ First thank you for the reviews everywhere, fan boy squee included. Now to answer your critiques and questions.

Rashid’s power of Potter is not canon, something I came up with. The wording of events is difficult because the Gatekeeper is speaking of walking through multiple timelines AND most importantly that he thinks that the Outsider has knowledge of all that has happened – which clearly Harry doesn’t.

Rep to you for that, I think a lot of people forget that his POV will mostly be messed up because he is somewhat mental at the moment.

Your criticism of Rashid’s storytelling is noted, you are obviously not the only one. The only thing I can say in favour of writing it the way I did was that the situation demanded it. In the scene Gatekeeper assumes Potter knows everything, and Potter is left piecing together what the Gatekeeper is on about, same thing that the reader is doing through Potter.

About your projections about Snape…can I say nothing at this point? But seriously here he is really just a figment, created out of what Potter knows of him.

Why did Potter not snap at Rashid? In the last chapter you see Potter comment that it’s not smart to let other wizards know what you don’t. That’s why he doesn’t draw attention to that fact and doesn’t yell at Rashid. And yes, this Harry would point that out in general, but he has the brains to be cautious about letting on how much he is ignorant. He already felt he was taking a risk when he asked Dresden about fallen angels.

About, why Rashid didn’t kill his summoners. The truth is that Rashid has been fighting Potter ‘attempting’ to enter his dimension for fifty years, he had until now no knowledge of when actually someone summoned Potter. To him it always appeared like an Outsider was trying to break in. The Outsider, in fact, has different time, and perception. Potter was summoned now but arrived at a different time, due to the distortions of time on the Outside.

I think I might’ve picked on Morgan enough, more Mai pain coming though and from an unexpected source—sadly that scene will be towards the end of the first ‘book’ so it’s a ways away.

Thanks for the critique about the scene of where Harry is looking for the Gatekeeper. I really need to go back and fill it up, I see your point. I was gathering info about the place and never got to it.

Digitalstorm~ That is some high praise I am sure, I haven’t read Thal’s story but it is probably the most popular on DLP so quite happy to be compared to that.

Swimdraconian~ Cheers mate, I enjoyed writing the Gatekeeper.

Tripticwriter~ No it doesn’t have anything do with knowing Dresden Verse specifically. As you’re discovering much of it through Potter’s eyes and being told about it from Dresden. This chapter is confusing but very important, all things said are important to what has been happening. In essence there are multiple time lines going on, that the Gatekeepers remembers mostly, and Potter remembers nothing of.

Oujou~ I am all MAN! Let me know when you have read the chapter.

Odinmage~ You got most of it except the summer knight reference, everything else is correct. Kudos! Thanks for the review.

Nonjon~ Thanks for trying to keep the thread clean, but oh well, I will just save the threads on my HDD to keep track of the reviews. Thanks anyway. Any thoughts on the chapters?

DGD~ Appreciate the merge homeboy, now get busy and finish my fic!

Maltese Falcon~ I really could write a full story just on the timelines that don’t exist anymore. That could be fun. I really enjoyed writing the scene, despite its mixed response. Thanks.

 

just logged on and saw you posted.

No worries, I understand what it's like, to write fanfiction.

Well kudos to you on that, it was a good twist. I am warming up to the way you wrote the chapter... now that I understand your reasoning. Or I think I do...

...a suggestion. To kind of point this fact out more, maybee the next time Harry and the gatekeeper meet, the gatekeeper will forget things he already told harry. Utterly confusing Harry in the process, the way I understood it, the longer rashid stayed in the new timeline, the more of the old timeline vanished. And rapidly at that considering it hasn't been that long since harry arrived. If it takes long for them to meet next maybee he even forgets what harry looks like, except for the green eyes and the scar. It's all so vague in his mind that he can't tell the difference between harry and the average joe.

Interesting... Now assuming that I was right, It would be something if two of the same person showed up at once to harry. The figment and the real one. I'd like to see harry try and explain that.

"Oh flippin Hell, I'm getting crazyer" Harry moaned as he watched the two Tonks berate him.

Ok that makes sense, as long Harry isn't bound to some kind of debt to him in the end because he didn't point it out. I don't know if theyre are any magical debt things in your story, but I'd like to think that Harry shouldn't shuffer for playing it safe.

I still wouldn't mind seeing harry point it out to the man, if only to watch him get all flustered over being bested again.

Ok that makes sense. I'm picturing a whole confrentation where Rashid finally understands that Harry was a victim as much as anyone else and realizes how futile all his endeavors have been. It would be a great "whoops" moment.

I aggree, I can respect morgan because he seemes to have some principles off and on shows dresden a modecum of respect. Its only when he starts hanging with Mai that I get annoyed with him. Mai definetley needs to be put in her place. I'm guessing from the tv show that she is a drakon, and while formidable, I would love to see both Harry's best her.

Harry(potter) could do it nostalgicly as he reminices about the good old forth year days...

And Harry (dresden) could do it simply to get revenge for all the hell she's put him through.

how and why they would do it doesn't matter so much to me.

Although I have this crazy Idea Murphy or Morgan are the one's that you are talking about. [shrugs]

No problem, it happens.

Thanks for the response... eagerly awaiting your next chapter.

Quazi

 

None that will be particularly helpful, but since you asked (and I finally got around to reading) I'll say this: I thought the first six chapters of this--going off of ff.net's chapter numbers--were fantastic. Loved them. I've watched the show and had faces and voices to fit all the characters. Felt like you'd nailed the right tone and these two Harry's were going to mesh well in this blended universe.

Harry Potter was clearly off-kilter and a bit brain-addled, I'm guessing from continuous dementor exposure and Azkaban making him a bit crazy. But in his lucid moments, like dueling Blackstaff, the dragon magic, even thinking Murphy was his mom, was an interesting and compelling character. I got the feeling we could easily see Potter pushed a bit too crazy to the point that I'd stop liking him, but we weren't there yet and that can be a fun edge to teeter over without falling in.

The intrigue of the Gatekeeper, the White Council, Ancient Mai, Ebenezer, even the wardens and Harry felt like we could have a compelling and easily followed storyline.

But chapter seven, and in particular the semi-smutty scene with Ancient Mai and Dresden, it just felt like the fic was suddenly turning in directions I didn't want it to. I don't like smut. Nothing was horribly disgusting or bothersome about it, but I don't like porn scenes in the middle of movies I'm watching either. Just a personal preference.

Plus now we're adding all sorts of further misconceptions or actual titles to Potter's presence in this world with the Knight of the Cross calling him Chosen with a capital C and then "a Phoenix graced Occisor Draconigena." Now I reckon these are things based in Dresdenverse's canon, but as someone unfamiliar with Dresdenverse, they come off like super-cliche Harry's "Lord Protector of the Light, Heir of Magic, Chosen of Earth, Guardian Seraphim" sort of things. I think it's safe to assume it's not as bad as it sounds, but we've already turned Harry into a sort of "Outsider" with a soul, so blanketing him with more Dresdenverse titles feels unnecessary, and makes it less interesting to me. This might not be true if I had read Butcher's books.

And now, in this latest chapter eight, we get Potter knocked down a number of pegs, much of what we previously read has simply been manipulations of seemingly higher powers and misunderstandings. First off, I'll say often times when I read about things like this that basically come out of the blue to me, they feel like big parts of the plot simply added on after the fact without any hints or foreshadowing to help us. Potter's been crazy, talking crazy, acting crazy, and there wasn't any indication previously that his craziness was a manipulation to avoid "time that has been undone."

The power of the powers that be feels like it's increased and the tone of the fic seems to be turning into somewhat of a... not sure the best word here but sort of typical dark fic. This may have always been headed that direction and it's merely my preferences for where it was going that blinded me to the signs, but its not for me. I think the aspects of what I mean when I think of a 'typical' dark fic will be very welcome and appreciated here at DLP, but my interest in them has waned and was never that strong to begin with. It was always more the tendency towards Independent!Harry that attracted me to these fine forums far more than Dark!Harry.

From what I can tell, the quality of the writing hasn't diminished. But for those unfamiliar with the Dresdenverse in the books (as the show hasn't covered a lot of what's in your fic) I think this fic is too in depth to capture some people's interest. Perhaps if I were a big fan of smut or dark!fic (focusing on 'new' demons, immortals, all the atypical but superhuman beings, powers, and skills) I could easily overlook this and still be eagerly begging for an update. But sadly this fic isn't custom-built and created to cater to my every whim and desire. And where it's going, I'm still interested in, just not as interested as before.

And those thoughts are probably not terribly helpful for you.

On a slightly off-topic side note, after reading so much fanfiction I sometimes forget just how much better the published authors are. Fanfics may have ideas and go in directions I wished the canon material went, but in terms of craft and style the pros don't even compare. I say this because the other day I read this free short story on Jim Butcher's site entitled Restoration of Faith. Such a simple little story that completely immersed me in the Dresden world and made me not want to leave.

 

Nonjon~

A few quick thoughts, I'm at work, so can't go in detail right now. But three points I want cleared up right away:~

- This is not a dark! Harry fic, in its usual sense. I have tried to foreshadow that where as he was introduced as someone who had become uncaring and domineering, freedom and general sensation is bringing him back to who he used to be, the hero, not the anti-hero, or anything, but simply one who is compelled despite some dienchantment to do the right thing or the heroic thing.

- This is not a smut!fic, despite that one scene. That scene was an attempt on my part to see if I could write something like that, the end. Secondly, like I mentioned to highlight Harry Dresden's will power, that I couldn't see a chance to do this early in the fic. But this is simply not a smut!fic, I hope that a ratio of the number of words spent on that scene and the rest of the story line can give evidence of that.

- Titles The various titles, etc, are those things that people are calling him because they don't actually know who or what he is, and have given him names related to attributes they believe they have recognized. And no, so far beyond the Outsider title, there is nothing else that is from Dresden verse and is my addition. Believe me I will not be making him the High Angel of the choir of Seraphim etc. Yes, he will be powered quite a bit, but there are many powers in the Dresden verse which beat the scales and so he will never be without heavy competition.

Harry's madness, is a result mostly of his imprisoning, and his recent hallucinations being spurred on by the back lash of the legilimens attack on Dresden.

The Gatekeeper story line explains mainly why he feels that he is telling a story that has already happened and at times a story that is happening to him then. It also explains a turning point of the story which was saving Karrin Murphy.

Even the Gatekeeper does not have all the cards. After all, he doesn't know Potter wasn't trying to break into his world, and has only now discovered it, and he doesn't really know for what purpose he was summoned. The whole story line behind being summoned by fallen angels is yet to be revealed.

Beyond this, I will read you review again. But the top two points struck me, and I wanted them cleared up. Thinking back on the hints I have dropped in his character development I hope you can see that I am attempting somewhat of the reverse of Light to Dark, and doing a more from disenchantment carelessness to a return of the hero - more bitter, and cautious, but a hero none the less.

Contrary to what you believe, this does help because I did not think that I had setup the fic for a Dark!Harry story, I will adding more lines to his character development from now on. Thanks.

Let me know if the above makes any sense.