The chapter is messd up and so aswme i fel like i got drunk. Which is slightly true because i'm really tipsy when i read the chapter and i'm still tipsy while i'm writing the review but i have enough sense to know what i write...i thinkthink.

Can't wait to write a prper revbiw while i'm not tipsy

 

WTF? That's what your post looks like after editing it?

Drinking and posting is dangerous. But putting up pictures of your mom in PYP thread? Now that's a good idea. Come on. You know you want to.

As for nuhuh, that's good to hear. I was still going to keep reading and my opinion will probably change if the fic is going where you seem to be hinting. Maybe I won't be so slow in reading your updates now.

But I still enjoy the fic. And my opinion on the rating for just the first six chapters was 5/5 and is now probably 4/5.

 

I have the distinct honor of receiving a drunk review, lol! Thanks, mate.

Nonjon~ good to hear, next chapter should be interesting. Much more about, ok Harry's in this world, how does he survive now?

 

Can't help but notice that he breaks canon twice in the first sentence. That's just me being picky, though. I'll finish it and give a proper review soon.

Big D

Edit: Looks pretty solid so far. I haven't seen the television version, so the things that I noticed that were against canon might have been from there. 4/5

Another Edit: Ok, I'm hooked. 5/5

 

...your weird

I have the sudden urge to go watch POTC 3 movie.

Now for a proper review....

That has to be the funniest part ever. Had me laughing for awhile. lol OKAY, now a proper review...seriously!

Exactly how many times did Harry travel to the past to defeat the old man. Because from what i gather the old man went back in time to stop Harry multiple times because Harry seems to go back in time or some other dimension of that certain time and kill somehow kill off the past selves of the old man. Would this mean Harry didn't just travel to the past but to other dimensions because of the past...kinda confusing. And the fact that Harry seems to be in a century of battle with the old man.

The other thing i can guess is that the old man has changed events on a certain time to suite Harry events while somehow blocking the entrance to the world and once Harry from the future does come everything would be back to what it once was like before Murphy was killed. But this time It wasn't the future harry that came...it was some other harry....hell if i'm guessing right (most likely wrong) The future harry isn't even here, yet.

So it's kinda confusing but you managed to make a well thought out chapter leaving hints and clues as to whats going on. The dialog was nothing short of amazing so keep it up.

Hopefully next time i wasn't drinking before writing a story.

 

I've read only the first book, Storm Front, from Jim Butcher, and that was a while ago; though I've watched the TV show. So my knowledge to Dresden's world isn't really great.

That's why I think the whole thing about the 'Knights of the Cross' was a little confusing, and would have been even more if I hadn't read Shezza's story, 'Denarian Regegade' yesterday. What were their business with Dresden, and what was this stuff about Oscisor Dracoginena? I nearly get the vague idea of what you meant, however I feel like a missed a whole lot of things.

Another thing: I didn't like either the smut scene. Well, it was well written, but when I read it I thought 'What the hell does it have to do with the story?'. I can't figure the reason you put this in the story. Well, at least I do now after reading the reviews; though if you were to edit the story and remove this scene, I wouldn't feel bad at all. Though, you still have some talent writing smutty stuffs and I wouldn't mind a separate fanfic with lot of it.

Now, there was one thing I didn't understand in the story; maybe I read it too fast, but I didn't get exactly why Harry was summoned. Where they looking exactly for him? (And the last chapter with the Gatekeeper makes me think it's quite likely) or was this a mistake and they wanted to summon... I dunno, Voldemort? Well, maybe that's it, as Harry got a part of Voldemort in him, and they seeked to summon some evil creature, maybe they got Harry as Voldemort was dead. Dunno. Anyway, what troubled me is that we didn't see much of the Blackedned Denarians, of whatever group whose those warlocks were part of. Shouldn't they be looking for the Outsider who is currently on the loose? If it were to take Harry as a host to a powerful Fallen angel, shouldn't they be looking for him lest he return where he came from or seek revenge against those who summoned him?

Overall, while it's very well written, I just get the feeling you found a (good) way to put a mentally unstable Harry Potter in Dresden's world, made some nice chapters, and that you are now trying to make some plot which should have been done since the beginning; I just don't see one yet, though the scene with the Gatekeeper give's some interesting ideas. Maybe he somehow knows what Harry will do, discover how he got here, try to manipulate time and space with Dresden's new magic in order to save all who died because of Voldemort and return to his original universe.

I put the story in my favorite and I'll see how it's going to develop, because right now, I'd say you're still writing the 'beginning'.

 

So...what you're saying is; You didn't like the smut...even though you fapped like crazy and wouldn't oppose to the smut being both longer and also being in a whole other chapter/story of it's own. Amirite? Anywho, I thought it was pretty obvious that the smut scene was a battle of wills between Mai and Dresden. I mean, right at the end he did say:

Back to nuhuh, I reviewed you on FFN, but thought I might as well add my bit here too. It was a cool chapter. I loved the way you made the characters interact and your chracterisation of Harry is perfect You have yourself a fan

Oh...and Insane!Harry r0x0rz my s0x0rz

 

Big D on a Diet~

Story uses the TV show as first source of canon and the books second, basically I am integrating the two. So far not too many complaints. Glad you’re hooked, thanks for the review.

Oujou~

Man I read you review three times and you confused me. How many times he traveled is unknown. No he did not travel to other dimensions just to the past again and again, though that is a fun idea. And yes the old man has changed events to suit himself the best he could but not perfectly, he had been trying to stop Harry from entering at all, but after failing for something like a hundred and fifty years he decided he had to give up.
There is currently only one Harry, all other Harry’s actions are wiped out, only leaving remnants of memory in his current self.

Next chapter will not be nearly as confusing I hope.

Inky~

I give hints of everything I introduce, if not outright have someone in the story talk about what they are. You have a few hints about The Knights of the Cross and in the next chapter you will see more of that. If something is not explained fully in the chapter it is introduced it should be in the two following it.

The smut scene, well I refer you to World, Virail, Minion and Lady Skittles to break it down for you, the last of whom has already shared her thoughts . Explanation is already given, thank you for the compliments for it, I doubt I will be writing a separate fic for smut anytime soon though.

Your observation about the Denarians is quite right. Time line wise, it’s still within six days of Harry Potter showing up in this world. Why he was summoned is the overarching story line of this fic and will be revealed. It was most definitely Harry who was summoned not Voldemort.

I in fact have had a plot for this story planned out before I started writing it. There are multiple plots and Vash has sworn to make certain I do them all justice. I can say with certainty that there will be no dearth of plot.

Speaking of which, there are four things that should have been apparent: 1. The fallen angel storyline, 2. The Occisor Dracoginea story line, 3. The Gatekeeper story line, and the very subtle references to 4. Dresden’s family history and why Ancient Mai finds him dangerous because of it – an important line about it within the smut scene.
In my opinion I packed in a lot, maybe too much. But there is more to come, I hope you won’t be disappointed.

Lady Skittles~

Thanks! It is a lot of fun writing Potter’s and Gatekeeper’s interaction. Insane Harry is always a challenge and takes a bit every time but in the end it’s worth it. I hope his character development can become clearer from now on, and is someone everyone can root for even if they can’t identify with, or maybe can. Always love the reviews, much appreciated. More coming soon.

 

I'll wait til the rest of its up to give it a rating, but it seems good at the minute. We get a little more about Dresden's view on this, and have a bit of a mystery to follow for Harry. I'd try to work out what's going on with the last bit and the lack of reaction from Harry, but my brain isn't cooperating too well.

Post the next bit soon as its finished.

Aekiel

EDIT: Read through it again, and I reckon the Dresden-Murphy interaction was pretty good. The internal debates with his libido are quite amusing . The Harry-Harry talk seemed pretty important too, they've finally buried the hatchet, despite Potter still not being on the same mental wavelength as Dresden .

 

Harry has been gone a couple days, it's been a couple more days from that since the first soul gaze, and this all happened 'yesterday'? -_O

That seems more than a bit odd.

 

Hey nuhuh... glad to see your back with the story. I was getting worried there...

I did like this chapter, especially since you actually addressed the issue of what a outsider is to murfy... now everyone knows and harry can start proving that he isn't one...

So the denarians are involved... interesting. I liked the subtle change in the relationshipp between the two Harry's. It was well done in my opinion.

I'm still wondering if Potter will teach dresden some of his magic... since he can do the soul thingy here, I guess dresden should be able to learn something... maybee aparition... one up on morgan
Mr. "I can't actually teleport, I become invisble..."
"Ya well I can teleport... I'm over here... *Pop*... no Over here..."

I can see dresden annoying murfy with that if he ever did learn. Ala fred and george.

 

It might not actually be possible for Harry Dresdan to learn apparation though. The very magics used in both universes come from different sources. Though Runes and some Potions should be easily teachable. I suspect some curses could be used by both groups too, though that seems unlikely.

But anything that can be made using Runes should be doable. If there are Runes that could be used to make Portkeys for example, than Dresdan could then make Portkeys.

Of course, it figures that it's the one very useful area of Magic that Harry Potter didn't bother learning.

 

Nice.

Harry is almost sane here which is not as much fun but it's making more sense for the story.

 

I'm just working under the asumption that magic is just performed differently in dresden world... What I'd really like to see is what would happen if Potter and dresden switched tools.

Dresden uses harry's little stick, and Potter uses dresden's big stick.

It would be funny if Potter could use dresden's hockey stick better than dresden could... if only because of the ego bashing that dresden would suffer.

"And I can cook too..." Harry said with a magnanimous smile as he transfigured dresden's garbage can into a littre or adorable kittens...

Murfy cooed at the little darlings as Dresden frowned at his creation.

The roast chicken he had tried to craft had turned into some kind of gilatinous moving mess. It almost looked alive... and each moment was unimaginable torturous pain for it as it was forced to exist.

Everyone averted their eyes from the hideous abomination unto the Lord that was once a tuna melt...

"Show off..." Dresden petulently remarked.

PS: Happy Canada Day ya Hosers!

 

omg, omg, omg, omg, omg! Another chapter after endless days of hunger for top stories. lol j/k. Anyhow i'll post after i read it. But now if you will excuse me i gotta find my boxers and a job interview to go to.

 

I'm a little dissapointed with how you developed Murphey's character. I understand the point that she's been driven to here; essentially, her mind's been nearly torn to shreds to have the truth hidden from her, and she herself tore through those blocks (causing more damage, no doubt). Then, she was hunted, thrown up by a mini-tornado and rescued by some insane magic-wielder. Right, that's pretty damaging.

But, It took like 4 or 5 books worth of stuff like that to knock her on her ass, and she was still nowhere near this level of needy. Her way was always to suppress all those fears to the point of madness, then after Grave Peril, she just suppressed it even more. Harry had to see her drinking and taking prozac before he had an idea how hard a time she was having. I'm not saying that you're wrong, I just want to get why Murphy's reacted this way. It doesn't seem in character.

 

Wait, let me get this straight. I just want to clarify this and make sure I understand what's going on.

We have...

Potter/Lasciel implications and...

Potter/Charity connotations....


all in the one chapter?

Dude. That. Is. Fucking. EPIC

 

Great part.

Even Fallen thinks that he is Outsider.

Well... Maybe he is.

Maybe he was misplaced in potterverse and now he comes home.

Hospital scene was so HOT.

 

Nuhuh this chapter reeks of awesomeness.

6/5