So we once did have a thread for making up cards for Cards Against Humanity, but that was specifically for ones that were not related to DLP or Harry Potter. Consider this the opposite.

Black cards are prompts, white cards are responses. Keep it HP or fanfiction themed, and don't insult people. Try to make questions/responses that fit the format, or other people's cards.

Maybe if we get enough good ones, we could make our own deck? ​

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Black:

The secret to Taure's skinniness is ____.
If Nagini didn't work out, Voldemort's next horcrux was going to be ____.
Not many people know this, but the alternative way to achieve immortality is ____.
What made Cho Chang Cry?
Cormac McLaggen's advice for the upcoming quidditch match: ____.
Nine out of ten DLPers agree, the best way to up your post count is ____.
Minion just recommended a story about ____ in IRC.
My OTP is ____ and ____.
What did Harry find in the Chamber of Secrets?
What do I see when I look into the Mirror of Erised?
How to get expelled from Hogwarts:
Nothing grinds Uncle Vernon's gears more than ____.
The best way to describe DLP would be ____.


White:

Melting a man's face off with your bare hands.
Nearly headless Nick's nearly headless dick.
A new pair of socks.
Getting banned for looking at the mods funny.
The basilisk in your pants.
Snatching the Elder Wand off Dumbledore's cooling corpse.
Using up all your thumbs and getting sad.
Blowing up your aunt.
Ron's jealousy issues.
Hermione's buck teeth.
The place Voldemort's nose went to.
Getting fifty points for Gryffindor!!
Something golden shooting out of your wand.
A hive of scum and villany.
Shagging in the Room of Requirement.
Really wanting your name in pink.

 

Black:

Magical cores are to HP as BLANK is to BLANK.
The tyranny of the supermod syed became too much when BLANK.
Ron walked in on Harry and Ginny when BLANK.
On the day that Ryuugi completed a fic, DLP collectively BLANK.

White:

Severus Snape did nothing wrong.
Michael Jackson giving Voldemort nose advice.
JBlaise returning in a blaze of glory.
Harry whispered sweet nothings to his crotch in parseltongue in an effort to excite it.

 

This could really use some kind of standardization, some of them just have no sensible combinations at all...

Some suggestions, though:

Black:
The new, edgier Harry keeps ___ in the bottom layer of his magical trunk.
They say Neville's new wand has ____ as its core.
Harry travelled back in time to escape ____.
Leaving Sexy Jutsu in the dust, Naruto's latest technique involves ___.
Before going on permanent hiatus, Ryuugi's newest fic promised _____.
The latest DLP member to Prestige was granted a unique new title: _____.

White:
You-Know-Who's irate, disembodied nose.
McGonagall's secret stash of catnip.
Sherbet Lemons with a naughty flavor.
A poorly written gangbang, as relayed by Megamatt.
A library filled with nothing but Taure's metamagical theories.
Weasley-brand condoms, lightly used.

 

That's at least a third the point of CaH.

 

From the rarity of Occlumency books we have to assume ______.

 

Point out any that don't fit.

Like these ones:

All of the bolded ones are in the wrong tense to work, I believe.

 

Black:
To impress Lily Evans, James Potter ___
What advice did Fred and George give Harry about getting into Cho Chang's pants?
What's the secret initiation every new Mod has to go through?
Syed's secret for great success is_____

White:
A Live Reenactment of The Office.
Molly Weasley's used underwear.
Dobby's dirty socks.
Gandalf.

 

___ was the the real reason students avoided Myrtle's bathroom.
___ wasn't a particularly great moment in IRC history.
The theme of the next DLP meetup: ___.
The real reason Hermione spent so much time in the library was to research ___


Cho Chang's tears
another awkward Mknote confessional
trying to beat Taure in a canon fight
co-ed Quidditch showers
jbern's Sorting Hat
the fabled Golden Patronus
Minerva McGonagall's pretty pussy
Argus Filch: International Man of Mystery
E. C. Scrubb: International Man of Mystery
a midnight tryst with Tinn Tam
nonjon's Pringles can
The Office

 

Black:

Alastor Moody's trunk is filled with ________
________ : the premier Dark Lord killer.
________ is the Power He Knows Not.
Dobby will get ________ for Master Harry Potter sir!

White:

Neville Longbottom masturbating furiously. [in honour of someone's signature, forgot who exactly]
The Room of Requirement
The Greater Good
Drinking love potions.

 

Black:

The secret of the Weasley family's financial success is BLANK.
When times got tough, Lucius was forced to hock BLANK to stay out of prison.

White:

Child labour.
The secret Malfoy hair formula.

 

Black:

mknote had a dream about ______.
Inside the room of requirement Harry found _____.
Dobby whipped _______ out from inside his pillowcase.
Taure flew to America to see ______.

White:

Ginny Weasley's love potion
Aunt Marge's underpants

 

Christ, do I love these suggestions. I'm giggling and matching them up to other questions.

Both wrong tense.

Keep 'em HP or FF themed. How about House Elf labour?

To that end:

[Black] Hermione's started up a new organisation, this time protesting ____.

 

[Black]

Death Eater recruits must _____ a _____ to earn their Dark Mark.

The password to the Hufflepuff Common Room is _____.

Hagrid worries that his _____ is too much for most people.

No respectable wizard has _____ for a wand core.

Never _____ during a Quidditch match.

The Patronus Charm is cast by thinking about _____.

How do you get a House Elf out of the kitchen?

Where can you find the other Chamber of Secrets?

Threstals can only be seen by people who've seen _____.

To Voldemort, Amortentia smells like _____.

[White]

Polish your broomstick.

Play catch with Dirigible Plums.

Furry little problem.

Roar like a dragon, bite like a Pygmy Puff.

How crumpled the snorkack's horn is.

OcclumencyForBeginners.pdf

Go to Knockturn Alley during hayfever season.

A male veela's pubic hair.

Count to nine and three-quarters.

The flavour Bertie Bott didn't put in a bean.

 

Black:

To a man with no fear, a boggart looks like ____.
The premier magic school in America is renowned for ____.
Hagrid immediately regretted telling Harry about ____.
To make a horcrux, you must split your soul. The only known way to do this is ____.
Ginny and Harry named their newest child after ____.
In another universe, the three hallows were the cloak, the stone, and ____.
What stopped Snape from getting a girlfriend?
What was Voldemort planning to do after ruling the world?

White:

Naming a child after your worst enemy.
A delightful little garden gnome.
Harry Potter's lopsided grin.
Casting engorgio on certain parts of the male anatomy.
Draco's leather pants.
Aunt petunia's bony bottom.
Shoving a snitch up the arse and feeling it flutter.
A house elf's shrunken head.
The next great adventure.
Rumors of MattSilver's appearance.
That time Fluffy got bored.
Oz's shitposting.
Railroading that bitch.
Biting a head off a chocolate frog just to watch it die.
A unicorn's pretty, pretty mane.
The monster in Harry's chest.
A bucket of firewhiskey.
Kicking a house elf.
Mudbloods.
Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.

 

So I made us a game in this theme. Hit the link to join. We're starting as soon as enough people are in. http://pyx-2.pretendyoure.xyz/zy/game.jsp#game=308

DLP is the password.

 

Black:
No matter how many time he tried, Gilderoy Lockhart couldn't obliviate himself of the memory of:
Every full moon, Remus Lupin transformed into:
What is the main ingredient in Minister Fudge's pie recipe?
The secret to sneaking by the Whomping Willow was _______.
The one thing Voldemort ever loved:
Merope Gaunt had two weaknesses: Tom Riddle and _______.
What secret has Percy Weasley never told anybody about Barty Crouch?
Who did Severus Snape finally lose his virginity to?
After being bitten by both a vampire and a werewolf, Harry Potter transformed into ______.
How do you defend yourself against 2 dildos?

White:
Daphne Greengrass' ice-cold vagina
An over-used soulbond
A Weasley family gangbang
Fishthulu
Firewhisky; shaken, not stirred
Rumbleroar
Pigfarts Intergalactic School of Martian Witchcraft and Wizardry

 

White:

Cho Chang's throbbing cock

 

Black:
indy!Harry would BLANK if BLANK
I only saw the movies and BLANK

White:
Soul bonded with a House Elf
Harry's member
Their tongues battled for dominance
Felix Felicis overdose
Harold Evans
Alexx
My name is Harold James Evans Potter Riddle Snape Peverell Gryffindor née Granger

 

Black:
_______ is the motto of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department.
For Arthur Weasley's next project he is creating ________.
S.P.E.W's latest member is _________.
In the next book, Harry takes on ________.

White:
Fred Weasley's body raised as an inferius.
Mudbloods 4 lyf
The decomposing corpse of Lily Potter.
Inappropriate charms on a goat.
Aberforth Dumbledore's favourite goat.
The animagus form of a platypus.
A basilisk core wand.
Molly Weasley's Mollywobbles.

 

Black:

____? Always.
It came as no surprise when Draco Malfoy was outed for loving _____.
And the winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award goes to... ____!
Gilderoy Lockheart's new book: ____ with ____.
After an unfortunate event at his sorting, Albus Potter went on to become known as '____'-kid.
Sirius Black may have been the prisoner of Azkaban, but I'm the prisoner of ____.
The final protection on the philosopher's stone was ____. Harry did not retrieve it.
The most traumatising thing about Harry's life was actually _____.

White:

The cupboard under the stairs.
Merope Gaunt.
The heir to all four houses.
Getting sorted into Default.
Severus Snape's greasy hair.
Cedric Diggory's shameful secret.
The giant squid's probing tentacles.
Shipping it so hard.
Loony Luna.
Letting Filch touch you there.
The Ministry of Magic.
The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department.
Not telling anyone anything important until you're dead.
Rita Skeeter's animagus form.
The entire Slytherin Common Room.