1. The second prompt is revealed! (Q2 2018)

    "Breaking into Snape's office in the middle of the night was a risky move at the best of times..."

    Deadline is June 18th, also known as the 22nd Anniversary of a seriously sad day—a tremendously black day for anyone.

    As with before you can check out the new thread discussing scoring, rules, and other such matters in the in the Story Competitions forum.

    Dismiss Notice

Does this story interest you? - General thread.

Discussion in 'Original Fiction Discussion' started by Andrela, Jun 14, 2014.

  1. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Silesia
    This thread could be used the same way the plot bunny thread is used in HP discussion (or other fandoms) in that we post here our original ideas for others to look over and judge.

    ***​

    To start things, I'm wondering if anyone else finds the following concept interesting.

    The story would be titled "The Villain".

    It would be set in the modern era, probably either in 2013 or 2014. The setting would be the Real World, the one we are living in right now.

    The story would be about a man in his early twenties acquiring a supernatural power, more specifically the ability to turn himself into a tangible shadow. This would grant him strength, speed and durability, as well as lesser, useful possibilities.

    However, instead of using his powers to become a superhero or a vigilante, this character would use his powers for selfish reasons eventually becoming the world's first super villain.

    There would be no super heroes in this universe to counter the Villain.

    The government of his country would notice his presence eventually and attempt to stop him. First with the police forces and when that doesn't work, the military.

    Eventually it would lead to a big battle between him and the army in a big city, which is considerably damaged in the process.

    Seeing that not many things are capable of destroying him, the military nukes him which finally does the job but ends countless innocent lives in the process as well.

    The epilogue would show that in another country someone else has developed such a power, hinting that this is only the beginning.

    The point of the story would be to show that unlike in fictional worlds where only the main characters matter, in the real world all these faceless and nameless civilians are living people with hopes and dreams that can be (and a lot of times are) squashed. It would show that in the real world, most people are unfortunately selfish dicks and not many would choose to become super heroes.

    The chapters would alternate between the Villain, transcripts from tv news and radio and reactions of police officers, soldiers, government officials and just regular folks.
     
  2. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,126
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    High Score:
    13,152
    I think that such a selfish character would be hard to sympathise with as the point of view character.

    It also just sounds like a bit of an action fest, with the point of view character just going around being awesome. A power fantasy, not a story. Where's his motivation? His friends and family? His moral struggle? What meaningful conflict does the character face -- and tanks don't count as meaningful conflict XD
     
  3. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Silesia
    You don't need to sympathize with the main character, after all that's why there are other POVs. Think of it like World War Z, the zombies are arguably the main characters but nobody sympathizes with them (hopefully).

    The point is that he's just a random guy who gets drunk on power. The ol' 'Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely'. I would attempt to show that almost anyone with superpowers would eventually go bad.

    In fact, I'm thinking now that it would be better if he did not get a POV at all. Dracula didn't get a POV and his book worked.
     
  4. Red Aviary

    Red Aviary Hogdorinclawpuff Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2008
    Messages:
    487
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York (State)
    High Score:
    2,757
    I wouldn't read it.
     
  5. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,727
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4,495
    I would read it.
     
  6. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2013
    Messages:
    2,041
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Holy Moose Empire
    High Score:
    1,826
    Frankly, this sounds like it would work better as a film than a book. In fact... we already have something quite like this. I won't deny that having seen that movie might have influenced my perception of your idea. And lastly, Xandrel, I keep hoping that one day you'll sit down and write a story instead of another plot bunny, for fanfiction or original. ;)

    Taure, I disagree. I think a selfish character could work very well as the protagonist.

    EDIT:
    Anyone else thought of Max the Amazing Electrical Engineer right there?
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2014
  7. Pure Infinity

    Pure Infinity High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2012
    Messages:
    577
    Gender:
    Male
    There are a lot of stories with the villain as the main character that go horribly, and a lot that go really well.

    Think of some of the best villains out there - Walter White, for example, or Light Yagami (Death Note).

    Both are characters that, in a way, start out with honest intentions. Walter White wants to leave money behind for his family, Light wants to create a better world...

    Maybe instead of just having "The Villain" be a random Joe who, upon receiving his powers, decides to turn evil, you could make him start out honest. Show him descending into a dark place, where it seems reasonable in his eyes to harm innocents, to wreak havoc.

    If you're attempting to go with the theme that power will eventually corrupt anyone, it might be a good idea to add in a rival character. With the government attempting to stop him, you could add in a moral opposite with someone in power - who also becomes corrupt in his attempts to capture "The Villain". Almost like a Captain Ahab, Moby Dick scenario.

    Just throwing my two cents in.
     
  8. melior

    melior Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2011
    Messages:
    226
    Have you read Steelheart by Brandon Sanderson?
     
  9. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Silesia
    No, I have not. Is it similar to this concept?
     
  10. Clerith

    Clerith Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2008
    Messages:
    1,595
    Location:
    Finland
    I would read it. I'm into selfish main characters. I'd like to read how he became a super villain. But killing him off in the end? Now that I know that, I wouldn't read it. Quite nothing like killing off the "evil" protagonist in the end to make my desire to read wilt. Right up there with slash and protag rape.
     
  11. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,727
    Location:
    Germany occupied Greece
    High Score:
    4,495
    To be honest, the whole 'Being bad never ends well for protagonists' thing is very irritating.


    In any case, stop talking about it and write it, Xandrel. Preferably with your character surviving.
     
  12. LittleChicago

    LittleChicago Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Messages:
    972
    Location:
    Calgary
    Very Similar.
     
  13. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Silesia
    A more (I hope) original story concept:

    Chrono Industries.

    In 2041 a powerful, multinational company invents inter-dimensional gates and opens up a gate to a world just like ours, except it is the year 1941 there.

    This company sees the obvious potential for profit and begins to meddle in that world's affairs, first by altering the course of World War II and then by slowly taking over the United States (and ultimately, the world).

    There would be several POVs, each one showcasing a person from a different country, such as America, Poland, the Soviet Union, Nazi Germany, the United Kingdom, etc.

    The story would take the readers through the years in the lives of these POV characters, starting from 1941 up until 2014.
     
  14. LittleChicago

    LittleChicago Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Messages:
    972
    Location:
    Calgary
  15. AlbusPHolmes

    AlbusPHolmes The Alchemist

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2011
    Messages:
    869
    This is the idea I have for an original story I'm going to be working on. The genre is Sci-fantasy.

    Prologue:

    In 2154 (the dates are fairly arbitrary - I haven't decided on them yet - just shooting for a futuristic timeline), a house is completely decimated by an explosion that levels everything in a two-house radius. At the epicenter of the explosion is a 16-year old kid who for all intents and purposes appears completely unharmed by the raging flames and destruction around him. Neighbors confirm he's the son of the family that lived at the building where the explosion originated, and rumor has it that he was abused. Police take him away to be a state ward. No one hears from him again.

    Background:

    Fast forward a few hundred years or so to the 2400s. The world is in a state that closely approaches a realistic utopia. Economy is excellent. Crime rates are at a low. Education is progressive. Technology is quite advanced. People live generally comfortable lives. All is, for all intents and purposes fairly well.

    All this was pioneered by the creation of scientific corporation EnchanCorp (none of the names are fixed in stone either; I'm making them up as I go for the purposes of this summary) and its brilliant founder and physicist Alexander Campbell, whose research led to the discovery of a new particle known as Praecitonium, which had groundbreaking real-world applications. Alexander and EnhanCorp subsequently run for government and won and ushered in a new age of technological advancement.

    Substances enhanced with praecitonium have boosted capabilities - plants grown with p-enhanced fertilizer grow significantly faster, energy from praecitonium cells is cleaner and lasts longer than normal electricity, etc, you catch the drift. Alexander since passed away, but EnhanCorp has been on the forefront of world leadership ever since, especially due to their practice of recruiting the very best scientific minds and grooming them for positions at EnhanCorp. Gradually all the prominent competitive companies and interests were absorbed into the vision of EnhanCorp under one umbrella, and while other research and scientific corporations and stuff exist, EnhanCorp is the very best and leagues ahead of everyone else.

    Since EnhanCorp has never lost an election for world government since the first time it ran, the current leader of the EnhanCorp usually goes on to become the President of State. The current CEO of EnhanCorp and soon-to-be President of State is a gifted scientist and politician called Xanders Petrucci.

    Story:

    Enter main character: Keric likes to live life fast and loose, but he is one of the most brilliant students at his university. He idolizes his best friend James' father, who works as one of the lead scientist in EnhanCorp) and plans on a career at EnhanCorp. Everyone widely believes both boys are shoo-ins for a position at EnhanCorp. Together Keric and James take the EnhanCorp recruitment exam and when the results come in, Keric just falls short of the cut-off while James does. Keric is devastated. He was sure he had aced the test, even though he'd been up partying hard the night before. James moves on to a job at EnhanCorp.

    Fast forward two decades or so later. Keric is an up-and-rising geneticist at one of the minor but prominent tech companies that exist outside of EnhanCorp. Keric's pregnant wife, Alice is rushed to an EnhanCorp hospital for delivery. The child dies. Doctors diagnose one of the very few completely incurable diseases left in this age, a rare but fatal recessive genetic disorder. Alice is heart-broken, especially since this is an era where pre-natal and post-natal deaths are next to non-existent due to the sheer quality of medical technology. One of two scenarios ensue (I'm dancing between the two):

    1. Initial tests reported both Alice and Keric as carriers for the disease. Except Keric wasn't. Earlier, at the start of his career, he falsified his genetic profile so he could be listed as a carrier of the disease his unborn son was diagnosed with in order receive funding. After tests reported Alice as a carrier as well (that's how they first met), he still wasn't worried about the possibility of their future child ever being a victim since he's not really a carrier. Furious, he confronts the doctors with the real truth - that it's impossible for his son to have gotten the disease.

    2. Both Alice and Keric are actually recessive for the disorder, so it makes sense that their child was diagnosed. They had been trying for a kid for a while now and both are heartbroken, Alice opts to move on, but Keric is determined to do something for other kids like his son so he starts researching. He secures a genetic sample from his kid's grave and begins testing. He comes a horrifying discovery - their DNA doesn't even match. The kid isn't his at all. Furious, he confronts the doctors with the truth.

    Cue drama at hospital. Cops are called in. Keric threatens a lawsuit and returns home. Two days later, in the middle of the night he leaves to go get something from a store only to come back to find that there was a gas leak at his house and it had exploded. Alice was caught in the inferno and her charred remains are recovered from the inferno. Keric is devastated. En route to a hotel, he is attacked by an assailant. He barely manages to win and kills his attacker, but not before finding out that someone had put out a hit on him. He theorizes that the explosion that killed his wife wasn't an accident either and goes on the low - that it's somehow linked his discovery that the doctors at the hospital had falsified his son's diagnosis and death. Someone is awfully eager to get rid of him and he sets out to find the truth.

    Cue middle arc filled with investigations and stuff. We learn of a few discoveries. A lot of kids are kidnapped, lost, etc under mysterious circumstances as happens in real life. Except there's one thing that links them together - they all share a trio of select DNA sequences in their genotype on chromosome 13, and the fact that all of them disappeared before they turned 16. Keric learns that he possesses one of the required sequences, and a search of his dead wife's genotype reveals she possessed the other two - which implies their "dead" son would have inherited all three. He sets out to expose the conspiracy in hopes that he can find out the fate of his son. And how is EnhanCorp linked to all this?

    * * * * *​

    I've never typed this out before other than my random musings with CheddarTrek, and all of it has existed solely in my head up till now. I'm not sure how into details I should go with this summary, but I can reveal the true twists in the story if anyone is interested. Also can anyone recommend any books with excellent futuristic world-building and settings? I'm modeling my world a little bit after the world in Minority Report but I want to look at other examples as well, and sci-fi is generally not my favorite reading field.
     
  16. A.K.$J6-J5

    A.K.$J6-J5 Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2014
    Messages:
    277
    Location:
    London
    It sounds Interesting....
     
  17. LittleChicago

    LittleChicago Death Eater DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2009
    Messages:
    972
    Location:
    Calgary
    I prefer the second option, just because it feels more natural as a direction for the character to go, and keeps his hands 'cleaner'.

    When looking for 'future utopia' world building, I find video games and movies can be a better source of inspiration these days than books; see Halo and Star Trek, for two very broad examples. You could read the Peter-centric parts of Ender's Game, but I've always found the idea that a kid could conquer the world through his blog kind of stupid.

    Distopian books are far more ubiquitous - Neuromancer probably being the real grand-daddy.
     
  18. Andrela

    Andrela Plot Bunny DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    4,379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Silesia
    I like this scenario. Very much in fact. If you're looking for something dystopic as an inspiration, take a look at the original Deus Ex video game. It features human cybernetics and conspiracy theories. Here's a fictional timeline of this video game series with in-universe events: Link!
     
  19. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    6,089
    Location:
    Mississippi
    It sounded awesome the few times we've spoken about it before, but this summary makes it even moreso.

    If the book existed I'd have added it to my reading list based on this summary.
     
  20. AlbusPHolmes

    AlbusPHolmes The Alchemist

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2011
    Messages:
    869
    Thanks for the feedback! There are still a few issues I need to sort out - I'll be making a group soon once I'm ready to get the story of the ground so if anyone is willing to be a sounding board for ideas and stuff let me know.

    PS: Xandrel, thanks for that link - I was just sifting through and it has quite a few of the elements I've been looking for.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2014
Loading...