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Domino Effect by willowbee - AnitaBlake:VH - PG13

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Mordecai, Sep 20, 2007.

  1. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Title: Domino Effect
    Author: willowbee
    Rating: PG-13
    Genre: Action/Adventure, General
    DLP Category: The Alternate's
    Pairing: None listed, but the author mentions in a note that its heading for H/Hr
    Status: WIP, 4 chapters, 18547 words in total
    Summary: One little change in history, a different route home from school, changes everything. A look at the true power of the Domino Effect. An Anita Blake/Harry Potter crossover.
    Link: http://www.pommedesang.com/efiction/viewstory.php?sid=6350

    Generally an above average fic. Falls down a bit at times, with the infrequent Americanism, but its not too bad. It has an interesting premise, has quickly progressed through canon rather than just retype the book with minor changes.

    The inclusion of AB:VH is actually very skillfull, meshing it nicely, not overbalancing either world so far. The only inclusion of actual AB:VH characters is a single character who briefly mentors Harry before leaving, though I reckon he will reappear later in the fic, but it uses the canon universe to great effect.

    My own rating of it would be 4/5.
     
  2. Rainstorm

    Rainstorm Fourth Year

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    For an Anita Blake crossover it's a surprisingly good story.

    On the upside both magic systems work nicely together and the characterisations of the children make them seem like children. The story is also fairly solid in terms of spelling and grammar, there are a few mistakes but nothing that would cause you to stop reading. Harry is also rather violent in the story and has no issues about breaking a few bones to get his way.

    On the downside we have a Harry and Hermione true love situation developing from a young age, that said the author has managed to make it through the first year without having them discovering feelings beyond friendship.

    The necklace is a painful cliché here. Harry finds very expensive necklace and gives it to Hermione. That made my brain hurt but again it's downplayed and is mentioned more than once indicating that it may have a purpose beyond showing how giving Harry is.

    My biggest problem with this story however is the complete lack of fight scenes. There aren't any, there's the bit before the fight and then it jumps straight to the end of the fight and there is a defeated enemy lying dead on the floor with nothing in between. That's my biggest criticism at the moment although I am hoping that since the author has skimmed through the first year they are just waiting until things can develop a little more before delving into fight scenes.

    Currently I would give it a 3/5, put some well written action in there and it would increase quite a lot though.
     
  3. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    You have a point about there not being any major action scenes, but bearing in mind that they've done book one in 4 chapters...there really wasn't much space and time for them to have much action if they were wanting to rush through the year.

    I would imagine that once Voldemort becomes the major enemy the plot will slow down and will become much more detailed.

    I don't see that Harry and Hermione are developing into a true love situation. They have been friends for years before Hogwarts, because of Harry's lycanthrope he's more touchyfeely than he otherwise would be, she has learned to accept and live with it. I would imagine that once they are older they may start to date and get into a more serious relationship, but it won't be twu wuv or anything like that. A well written, natural progression into the ship, rather than any sudden moves.
     
  4. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Meh cant really rate this, I stopped reading it at the point of "wereleopard"
     
  5. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    And that would be why? What about that made you stop? Try making a useful comment.
     
  6. Boofers

    Boofers Groundskeeper

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    Is it readable if you know nothing about AB?
     
  7. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Very much so. As I said, it doesn't make much use the characters, merely the basic universe so far.
     
  8. headbanger22

    headbanger22 Third Year

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    I know nothing about AB but i still enjoyed the story.
    The only thing i didn't like about it was that it was on some piddling
    little website that i haven't heard of before.
    4/5
     
  9. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    It might be on the main AB:VH fanfic site because...its an AB:VH xover which you can't post on ff.n last I checked.

    There are a few other HP xovers on the site, though a lot of them are slash, but not all of them. Just go into the xover section.
     
  10. ghst.san

    ghst.san Sixth Year

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    I was somehow missing details. Its ok to have a fast pace but the author should pick out a few scenes and properly ilustrate them. He should also write about the differences of the magic systems, since many have not read the Blake novels.
    Also the real Plot is kind of missing... The whole Philosophers Stone went from discovery to rescue in about 500 words...
     
  11. darthdavid

    darthdavid Second Year

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    I too like it but the website means that It'll be a pain to follow...
     
  12. Avitus

    Avitus Groundskeeper

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    I read this last night while I was pissed drunk. Absolutely twisted. It made no sense then, and it makes none now. A nice meshing of the universes, but the characterization is lacking, and Harry is far too mature for an 11 year old. The whole Harry/Hermione relationship is awkward, as is her seemingly absentee parents. 2/5
     
  13. Croaker

    Croaker First Year

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    For really hating Anita Blake, I did like this. Yeah, Harry acts like an adult, but in this fic, he either had to act like an adult, or a batshit psychotic eleven year old with shapeshifting abilities, he's got the instincts of an animal that will quite happily eat a human after all.

    That said, the characterization is still weak and "er what" at the necklace. The sleeping arrangements are also fairly bizarre and I'd think Snape would stop them. And then pranks. Plus, so far it's "Canon plot over there, but I'm going to talk about how cool Harry is and how damn smart Hermione is and they're going to touch for the important canon plot bits" which is not good. The lack of action hurts too.

    I laughed at the thought of a were-swan though.

    If I were going to rate it now (I want at least one more chapter before I actually do): 3/5
    It's readable, without a ton of spelling and grammar mistakes, and it was interesting enough to hold my attention for a couple of hours. It'll go up if the fic diverges from canon plotline further and there's action scenes later.
     
  14. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

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    Another willowbee fic. Bet you a buck it is not completed.
    This is a person that should write with a partner or team. He has half a dozen above average or better fics, kind of neat crossover ideas, but seems to lack time or energy to complete a fic.

    I will give it a 1/5 with another point for every 3 chapters of equal or better quality every 2 months. If he could get to the end of the first year before the end of 2007 I would say 4/5 and welcome to the crossover library of DLP.

    I understand my rating is unfair, and that you cannot tell writers what to do, it is like writers asking for reviews.

    I hope he does post more.
     
  15. Mordecai

    Mordecai Drunken Scotsman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Pagan, he's finished the first year in the first 4 chapters, as you would know if you actually read it.

    Its been updated with another chapter, about the same length as the previous ones. Its now bringing in the AB universe, during Blue Moon. Which is an interesting choice of place to start it but oh well, its interesting so far. Not much happens in the chapter except some development, but it sets up well for future stuff.
     
  16. Rainstorm

    Rainstorm Fourth Year

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    This was an interesting chapter, I'm particularly happy with the characterisation of Hermione. She doesn't come across as a Mary Sue or a stereotype but rather as an intelligent but naive young girl which is nice.

    The dialogue is also well done and the exchanges are realistic. My main complaint about this chapter (and some of the previous ones) is the lack of description. The characters are in a new place and the only knowledge of the environment comes across through the dialogue which is a shame as the story could be enhanced a lot by some description of the places involved in my opinion.
     
  17. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Ok, I'm man enough to admit it. I might have dropped this story a little to early. So I had another go at it and got into it. so am just letting you know, chapter 6 is up. :p

    -Linc-
     
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