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WIP Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen - T - Naruto

Discussion in 'Naruto' started by Moridin, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. Vesvius

    Vesvius High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    Here you go.

    Now, as far as the chapter itself:

    This chapter pretty much embodied why I love this fic so much. The entire thing is a culmination of the last fifty or so chapters. Without every single thing that happened (Shikako's intel stint, her promotion, the growing tensions with Kumo, the Gelel, even the bounty hunter arc from before Naruto left) none of this would've made a lick of sense. I mean, last year, if you'd asked if I would care if Aoba died, I'd have asked who Aoba was.

    But because of the way SQ writes, the whole thing unfolded naturally and organically without the need to shoehorn a bunch of plot twists in. This couldn't be done well without taking the time to do the proper build-up. It gave the whole thing stakes and consequences.

    Summary: I love this story.
     
  2. Koalas

    Koalas Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    Little column A little column B? I don't believe the monks would possess their kind of abilities before the barrier fully went up. After the barrier goes up we see things start twisting. Chakra is there but its not functioning normally. Lightning jutsu that ooze through the air, perception of time altered, etc. Shikako only righted her personal perception by taking her Gelel/Shadow form. Which caught Jashin's attention.

    Cut to the Temple. Center of the ritual, the beating heart, where the barrier between realities is one sacrifice from being sundered. Chakra is no longer there every seal Shikako placed was her willing them into being. I think that's the key there. With how reality is sliding so did the strict seal requirements. Opening the door made closing it that much easier.

    We also see Shikako Split herself before she starts any of this. I'm thinking the grand escape thanks to her. Either through some kind of Reverse Summoning shenanigans or some Gelel ability that's more in tune with her Shadow self.
     
  3. Dresden11

    Dresden11 First Year

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  4. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    A high quality piece of work, with two drawbacks, major and minor.

    The first is that parts are quite tedious to trudge through, whether it's filler or canon and as a result makes this feel closer to a fanfiction by numbers instead of an actual story.

    The second is the dodgy grammar that is so prevalent. She's got the major parts correct and then insists on littering the story full of one word sentences, statements designed like questions, randomly italicised words and rhetorical questions. What is the point of it? Being written in the first person doesn't mean its a conversation memoir.

    4/5.
     
  5. PlainBlack0

    PlainBlack0 Squib

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    One of my favourite SI fics, I find Shikako to be believable and fun throughout. The characters develop slowly and organically meaning that the changes from the canon feel earned. Plot points that seemed to be major cruxes of characters development have a habit of fading away for chapters on end until you've forgotten they exist only to reappear as an important factor in another arc. This gives the feeling of real struggle to things which I really appreciate.

    Criticism, the filler and movie arcs can be painful if you really want the story to progress but considering the characters continue to develop throughout them and they're almost all rather short I found it manageable. The first few chapters are also a little sluggish on rereading it but that passes.

    Not sure I'm allowed to rate things yet but solid 4/5 from me.
     
  6. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    Chapter 131 is out. Short update but man, what an update.
     
  7. chiefnewo

    chiefnewo First Year DLP Supporter

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    That's gonna have some consequences I bet. You don't wipe out an entire town and surrounding area without getting a reputation, that's for sure.
    MOTHERFUCKING SPOILERS ~Ched
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2017
  8. Koalas

    Koalas Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    In the buffer country between the two nations no less. Kumo definitely has casualties, it'll just be a question of whether they consider this the opening shot or if they're going to nope the fuck out until they can figure out what happened.

    ---------- Post automerged at 10:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:53 AM ----------

    I feel like this one kind of suffered for it. Like I feel getting to Konoha and reporting in would have been a good end point then next chapter coming to terms with what happened.
    Spoilers damnit!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2017
  9. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity High Score: 3,994 Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I suspect the author felt a need to get a resolution to the cliffhanger out quickly, which probably contributed to the somewhat shallow tone of the chapter.

    Logically, Shikako is going to have a lot to answer to, given that she's now turned Konoha into
    the ninja world's sole superpower, capable, at least in principle, of deploying teardrop nukes.

    Her ninja career should be effectively over now as they seek to weaponize this. I don't expect the author will go this direction with her story, but she's going to have to address why not.
     
  10. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I don't see how. The only reason the explosion was as large as that was because the Jashin monks had been ceremonially imbuing the land with power through human sacrifice for decades.

    I mean, the rest of the world doesn't know that, but it does mean that Konoha hasn't just become the United States of the Elemental Nations. Also, you've got to remember that strategic weapons capable of wiping out villages already exist; they're called Jinchuuriki.
     
  11. FlyingOctopus

    FlyingOctopus Second Year

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    edit: nvm, don't know how to delete a post.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2017
  12. VanRopen

    VanRopen Auror

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    Not just Jinchuuriki, is that not what all S-Rank ninja really are? WMDs/people capable of tying up WMDs. How much territory could an unopposed Onoki, Sarutobi or Jiraiya wreck in a swoop?

    This isn't much of a change in the Nations' status quo, but it could be big for Shikako personally. She's not on that level yet, but is at risk for attracting attention she isn't ready for yet. Then there is the obvious political fallout from an explosion in a border state. Raikage pls.
     
  13. CheddarTrek

    CheddarTrek Set Phasers to Melt Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Yes, I yelled at two of you for not using spoiler tags. I know this shit wasn't updated when I went to bed, and I opened it first thing this morning. Not even 24 hours people? Use spoiler tags for that long at least!

    On another note, awesome! :awesome

    I wonder how long it's been? The explosion was noticed, Konoha ninja were dispatched, and now they've had time to communicate and call in Shikaku to head things up. So a few days, maybe?

    I wonder what's wrong with Shikako? She removed the Gelel stone, so it's not that. Killing this many people would seriously upset her, but it seemed like something 'was wrong' with her spiritually before that. So I'm curious the route that will take - plenty of possible causes.

    Also surprised that Shikaku didn't try harder to get a simple answer to 'what happened' - but I guess he did try, and she didn't respond when he slapped her face. But even a simple "I did it" would have at least told him that they didn't need to worry about it happening again in the near future.

    Pretty awesome.
     
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2017
  14. VanRopen

    VanRopen Auror

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    I think I remember the old Nara mentioning there could be consequences to being mentally out of sync/balance, which Shikako got around but didn't really fix. It's been increasingly common for Shikako to shove her negative emotions into her shadow self, so I bet we're finally seeing that having been pushed a little too far.

    So basically the next level of that fuck up early on, where she went too far when manipulating her spiritual energy.
     
  15. CheddarTrek

    CheddarTrek Set Phasers to Melt Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Nah, I think this is pretty easily dealt with... at least within Konoha.
    Shikako didn't make a seal that can explode. Or at least that's not how I read it. My understanding of what happened is more along the lines of...

    Cultists: Let's summon Jashin! We have to murder loads and loads of people in a ritualistic fashion in order to have the required power! We're almost done, and this person with the gelel (Shikako) is the capstone and final murder!

    Shikako: Oh shit, they're about to summon a god. Where have I seen this before? Oh, right, Gelel. We broke the prison for Gelel and it escaped through me instead of exploding. But the guy with us had planned on trapping it in another prison before that happened. I know how to make the seal for that prison.

    *Shikako uses tears to hijack the summoning ritual and turn it into the prison seal instead*

    *It starts to work*

    Jashin Lead Cultist: Oh shit! *Stabs the seal and trys to stop it* *ends up damaging the seal*

    ...damaged seals explode. And this damaged seal was carrying with it the entire power of the almost completed ritual to summon a god.

    So in short... Shikako can't do it again. Not unless they run across another large sect of monks who are gathering power (I doubt anyone much monks/cultists could accumulate power like that). Now other countries might not know that Konoha can't repeat this feat. But Tsunade will know, and therefore Shikako won't face pressure to recreate it. Beyond explaining it, perhaps.

    Though... I do expect to see this again. In endgame. Very, very endgame. Around the time we need to start worrying about Kaguya. Or maybe that gedo statue thing. I expect this will be very convenient then.
     
  16. CheddarTrek

    CheddarTrek Set Phasers to Melt Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Good point, actually. She did make a point of doing that right before things went completely to hell in the previous chapter.
     
  17. Boudicca

    Boudicca Squib

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    She also had just participated in a horrible ritual in which she was sacrificed to bring forth an evil god. She watched her comrade die. She saw that which should not have been seen by man. Even before she learned that her seal failed and she probably killed thousands, if not tens of thousands of people, that's pretty tough on the psyche.

    Note: This is not incompatible with nara shadow technique mental damage. If anything they would compound each other horribly.
     
  18. Majube

    Majube Seventh Year

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    Do you think once this leaks she'll get an S-Rank title, after all Kumo doesn't know that she can't repeat it an Konoha's other seal masters/shinobi were S-rank (idk if Mito/Kushina were but Jiraiya an Minato were). I'm mainly wondering about how Shikako will deal with killing so many people.

    I mean she can't just think it away with saying the cultists could have killed them anyway, I'm wondering how long after she debriefs will she be shadow Shikako. Do you think she'll get more interest from people in Konoha, I mean Tsunade will let it go when she explains she can't repeat it but still. Also I think it will leak that she did it when the Hot springs civilians remember she came out of the deadzone riding a huge deer, do you think they'll hate her, itèd be really cool if she became s-rank a bittersweet irony since shes the first out of her team an isn't that what shes always wanted, to not be behind them in terms of strength and now she will be a monster in terms of shinobi, considered capable of making huge exploding seals, everyone will think she just improved from the chuunin exams. I wonder if when she meets Hidan he will say something about how she murdered the cultistsé/stopped Jashin from risingé/Jashin tells him to brutally murder her.
     
  19. illya_

    illya_ First Year

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    With Shikako it is just a question of when, where and how freaking big of a blast.

    However there will be no Kaguya.
     
  20. Koalas

    Koalas Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    I kind of liked the Asura/Indra plot point although I can do without the rest. Though that does make me wonder if the (some) of the EMS BS will be done away with as well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2017
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