I want inspiration/neat ideas on what Epic Artifacts can be produced, so let's make a game out of it.

You're now a magical juggernaut in the leagues of Dumbledore, Grindelwald and Voldemort, basically an omnidisciplinary polymath. You've also got decades of magical education, know-how on how to create the Philosopher's Stone, Hallows, Ravenclaw's Tiara, Time-Turners etcetera. Enchanting is also your specialization.

The Statue of Secrecy is irrelevant in this scenario.

What kind of awesome/useful enchantments can you make for both muggles and magicals alike?

On the top of my head I got;
A shrinkable table that ensures all food put on it is ever-refilling and perpetually fresh.

A box that consistently duplicates stuff put inside, even lesser enchantments.

A portable island paradise with a miniature sun, functional weather patterns and a simple ecosystem.

A pensieve that automatically extracts and return all magical knowledge from your mind, on command. Idea behind it is that it was crafted to make dangerous witches and wizards easier to detain, without having to use madness-inducing dementors.

Sentient item enchanted with the ability to regularly cast multiple spells; example - a healing scepter.

A crown that grants a great deal of Luck and Wisdom for its wearer, even providing ease-of-life charms like repelling dirt and stains, cleaning its wearer regularly, vanishing their waste and providing perfect eyesight through transfiguration.

Are the crown, pensieve and sentient item feasible in canon-potterverse? I've gotten the impression that Great Artefacts of Power tend to have a purview with mono-focused abilities, like Calling on the Dead, Invisibility, Most Powerful Wand, Wisdom-Granting Tiara, Mind-Reading Hat etcetera.

 

Personally, an 'Ever-hard Cock Ring' has that feel of canon HP, so I'd go for that in the first instance.

Still, if we can go a bit OP, and Harry has full access to a Baenilix star-sigil enchantment forge, or even some decent Crucible core-grade Alembic reagents then I'd go a Wardrobe that can store a large number of fur coats and in the back leads out to a flat-earth universe dominated by an Ice-witch/giantess, full of fauns and talking animals.

I think the type of story you want to tell, and the purpose of a super artifact is more important than the concept of the artifact as a 'for instance'. Generally, magnitude of power doesn't seem in keeping with HP, rather than conceptual effects.

Sentient artifacts seem common. Wide utility non-wand artifacts seem rare.

I'd look at fairy tale items for inspiration.

I'd go for an expert Herbologist making a garden where the vegetables come out ginormous though, and perhaps spontaneously turn into furnishings and carriages, or such. That'd work.

 

These maybe aren't as powerful as you were going for, but a few ideas: Maybe a self-dishing plate that gives you exactly the amount and type of food you should eat to not gain weight/to gain your ideal weight/stay at your ideal weight?

A bit more complex could be a magical incubator. Once a witch or muggle gets pregnant you could tranfer the cells into it and then return to collect the whole baby after nine months, once it's ready.

And to get a matching product to the aforementioned cock ring, maybe a handheld magical tongue or two-digit contraption that would know exactly the right amount of pressure to apply between a woman's legs?

 

A bell that rings every time a beautiful woman thinks of you sexually.

 

Magical booze, all sorts of magical booze and dispensers .
An enchanted horn mug that fills with the ideal drink for whomever holds it!
A chalice that changes the flavor of potions inside it to the drinker's dream beverage.

Magically transfigured sex dolls enchanted with intelligence (hard AF, but I am a omnidisciplinary polymath so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯).

Aura emanator, an orb (attached to necklace/ring/armring) which emanates an aura of the wielder's choice. Comes with default Veela and Dementor modes.

 

Ok. I’ll bite. Are you?

Or is this sex doll banter/sarcasm that I’m missing? Sorry.

 

No worries... sadly I'm not lol

I'm referring to this

 

A proper cornucopia would be pretty cool, even if it just summoned food from somewhere else rather than conjuring it.

 

I want to be able to charm an item so that I’ll never lose it (house keys, notebook, etc). Taken to an extreme, I suppose I could put the charm on my wand so that no one would be able to win it, even if they beat me in a duel.

 

Sticking with what we know in canon.

A cloak that keeps the wearer always at a comfortable temperature, regardless of external environments. Seems basic on the surface but it will literally protect from a firestorm or blizzard.

The Philosopher's stone can turn anything into gold. So another thing that can make anything dead instantly. Instant death for anything, maybe also destroys souls. Not just death, but total final death. Or Maybe it collects souls, based off a dementor.

Similar to the Warden sword in Dresden files. An undoer. A object that when touched to another will instantly remove any and all magical effects. It would turn the mirror of Erised into a simple mirror. It will undo the Enchantments on a Horcrux, allowing it to be destroyed by mundane means.

 

An enchanted item which automatically vanishes snow in front of you, so you always have a path. A snow-vanishing cock ring, I guess, given how this thread is going.

 

First you need to craft several bookcases.

Then you get some obsidian, two diamonds and a book.

Voila! You can enchant items!

You can even enchant a fishing rod to bring you more fish. Neat.

 

Not if its one sword.