Enembee Challenges You! #1

I'm bored, so I thought I'd write up a challenge around an idea that appeared in the General Discussion about Harry Potter jokes, so I challenge you DLP to write some decent Harry Potter jokes.

Title: Harry Potter and the Enchanted Cricket Bat of Azjol Nerub

Rules:

• Must be a Comedy/Parody.
• Must include the phrase 'the fifth yule ball this week'.
• Must include Luna in some capacity.
• Must include some form of punchline.
• You are limited to four named characters.
• No longer than 600 words, I'm too lazy to read more than that.
• The title above is entirely optional, but it might be lulzy.

Reward:

I'll judge the one I like the best of the entries (if any) and I'll make you a signature or something. I'm sure we can work something out.