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WIP Error of Soul by Materia-Blade

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Nerdman3000, Apr 24, 2013.

  1. Nerdman3000

    Nerdman3000 Slug Club Member

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    Title: Error of Soul
    Author: Materia-Blade
    Rating: M
    Category: Romance/Adventure
    Chapters: 7
    Words: 83,309
    Updated: August 29, 2013

    Published: September 09, 2012
    Status: WIP
    Summary: OOtP Mid Year. Every now and then throughout wizarding history, a pair of individuals very close to one another find that their magic has grown fond of one another's. A bond is formed. A Soul Bond. And may hell burn the idiot who ever thought having one was a 'good' thing! A Soul Bond story done 'right.' No bashing. A Harry and Hermione love and war story.
    Link (ff.net): http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8490518/1/Error-of-Soul
    Link (WbA): https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=23598

    This is an interesting fic, and likely the most realistic interpretation of a soul-bond. For once, they don't automatically fall in love, only they can hear each others memories. Here soul-bonds are considered by the wizarding world to be a bad thing because apparently most people who who soul-bonds start to hate each other because they can hear each other's thoughts. Plus there is no bashing of any characters what-so-ever. By far one of the best soul bonds I could find.

    EDIT: I embarrassingly discovered that this story is actually a WbA on this site, however I still believe that it at the very least is worthy of the library. I only hope you would agree. However, if the moderators don't agree, then please delete this thread if you must.


    Checked by Minion, September 1, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2013
  2. Averis

    Averis Don of Delivery Prestige

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    It's in the WbA. Nothing world-breaking there... not trying to sound like a dick, but lots of us know of this story.

    As for the story itself, I highly rec, even for those that don't like Harry/Hermione usually. It's the most unique use of a soul bond that I've ever found (oops, I mean seen). Well-written, well-developed, and well... pretty god damn outstanding in my opinion. It also has especially good characterization, even with Ron, Umbridge and Fudge, who are so often horribly done in Fanfiction it's unreal. Fudge, in particular, stays totally in character while trying to make a difference -- something I've honestly never seen. Like ever.

    The only bad thing is waiting for updates! 5/5 and one my favorite current stories.
     
  3. Nerdman3000

    Nerdman3000 Slug Club Member

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    Opps, didn't realize, I searched but I didn't find it, obviously didn't check WbA. Still, it should be included in the library.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2013
  4. Zenzao

    Zenzao 500 Club King Prestige

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    Don E.'s post has convinced me to take a look at this some time, but in the meanwhile, Nerdman3000, why don't you stop and lurk and post some more outside of For Review before reccing any more stories? Get a better feel for what is likely to make it? I think we'd all benefit.
     
  5. Nerdman3000

    Nerdman3000 Slug Club Member

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    Yes, I'll try that.
     
  6. Innomine

    Innomine Unspeakable Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, we all knew about this story, and we weren't putting it up in the For Review section for a reason.

    The story is at a crossroads right now, one where it'll end up being amazing, or turn to absolute shit. We were wanting to wait and see what happened before we put it up here.

    Guess that's no long an option... Though to be fair, it hasn't been updated in ages. :/

    Regardless, the story is a 5/5 for me right now. It's very compelling, and the best use of a Soul Bond I've ever seen.
     
  7. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Pretty much this. Great story so far, but there isn't enough yet to really tell if it will remain a great story or falter (particularly in terms of the crossover).

    5/5 for now. Wish there were more to read.
     
  8. Stormey

    Stormey Groundskeeper

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  9. kostigan

    kostigan Temporarily Banhammered

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    To be honest I didn't like this very much. I stopped reading it somewhere in the middle of old Dolores's POV chapter. Too OC for me. I can't imagine Umbridge as anything other then Umbitch. But since you all think differently, maybe I'll give it another shot and then I'll rate it.
     
  10. Stormey

    Stormey Groundskeeper

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    I have always loved reading about competent characters.
    I never liked the fact that Fudge was an idiot in canon, and Unbridge was so set in her ways.

    I mean, it does happen, and the characters in canon were certainly real enough, but I still enjoy seeing them in a more interesting role. 1 dimensional characters are boring to read about.
     
  11. KingRoger

    KingRoger Second Year

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    I've been following this in WBA, and I really like how the author is refusing to discard Ron for the sake of the h/hr pairing. I'm not a fan of r/hr myself, but I like the level of realism being used in the development of relationships.
     
  12. Innomine

    Innomine Unspeakable Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Author has stated that it will be H/Hr. it'll just take time to develop to there.
     
  13. Blorcyn

    Blorcyn Professor DLP Supporter

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    I just got through reading this as it stands at the moment and I can't quite make up my mind on whether I like it or not.

    I really appreciate what he's trying to do with the fic and that he's not afraid to really try and characterise anyone whose POV he writes. The first scene with Ron is a good way of showing that he's tried to get into his head and fit him into this story. With Fred and George as well, I was initially annoyed at the cliche of their sentence swapping and other things but
    the way he explains it as the product of a soul bond really makes sense within the context of the story.

    The parts that turn me off come when he tries to advance the plot of whatever is happening under the castle or with Voldemort. There are a couple of jarring spelling mistakes and americanisms too. Overall, until there's more there and the plot advances, I'd rate this a 3.5/5, rounded down
     
  14. R. Daneel Olivaw

    R. Daneel Olivaw Groundskeeper

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    The story definitely has potential, has a lot of original takes on old ideas. I just bumped my rating on it up to a 4. Could still flame out, but looking good right now.

    Might be a case of this story being Sorted too early.
     
  15. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    Eh, any "soul bond" story needs to come with some greater negatives than "they'll hate each other... maybe?" I think there are more interesting ways to write such a story. I mean, if you had your mind and essence linked with another person, chances are they'd drive you insane. And other weird things would happen, like developing the other person's quirks, or seeing their disgusting sexual fetishes or something. Or maybe even just the disgusting nature; all their hidden secrets laid bare. How can you "love" someone like that? It would make for a far more interesting story. Especially if the bond were with someone already "crazy" like Luna.

    The story here does... a little of that? I guess it's a tame soul bonding story compared to most, but that doesn't make it good. It's also got a relatively slow update rate and is only at 70k words, so I think it's far too early to rate this.

    In its current state I give it 3 stars. It could still impress me, but it's simply 'above average', but only in the sense that the FF.net average is pretty low, especially for soul bond & H/Hr stories.
     
  16. Charlesnaismith

    Charlesnaismith First Year

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    4/5

    Could be great you know its all in the premise. I just hope it doesn't make "soul magic" overpowered and boring.
     
  17. The Sorting Cat

    The Sorting Cat Second Year

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    Still haven't gotten through the whole thing yet, so I can't comment on the overall plot, but I'll comment briefly on writing style and use of character.

    I feel like the story builds a world with rules that are quite separate from reality. I don't mean "rules" as in the rules of magic or soul bonds, but rather the rules of human behaviour. Materia sets a baseline for what makes sense within this world and then sticks to it. Everyone's behaviour is entirely consistent with that world…

    But it is a cartoon world.

    People fall over when surprised, they scream "EWW!" at the top of their lungs, and Hermione lets out a soul-shattering Darth Vaderish "NOOO!!" when she's told that she's failed a course. Behaviour like this makes perfect sense within the confines of the world, but it becomes jarring (to me) because it's not how (I feel that) real people would act.

    Another way of putting it is that the characters sometimes feel a little bit like caricatures. Well-written and fairly three-dimensional caricatures, true, but still not entirely real. This all makes perfect sense when you realize that Materia has a large background writing Ranma 1/2 fics - the characters in this story behave exactly as they would if they were written and drawn by Rumiko Takahashi.

    Apart from that, characters are also prone to melodramatic statements - both inside and outside their heads - that don't feel very real to me. The story could also do with some beta-work, to weed out minor mistakes, and the flow of the text isn't always very smooth.

    All that said, I don't dislike the story at all. It has a unique take on old and boring concepts and characters. I'll finish it before rating, but it's better than most fanfics out there, and probably better than 99% of all soul bond fics.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2013
  18. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

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    Agree completely with the above, the fics alright, well written grammar and spelling wise. But the plot seems like trying to make it an anime rather than a realistic world. The only thing which couldve made it more childish would be Hermione slapping Harry on the head.

    I'd say 2.5/5.
     
  19. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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    I really like dementors in chapter 7. It seems now that this crossover may be done without making story completely awful.
     
  20. Acheld

    Acheld Muggle

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    Just a note that, as admitted on the author's page, this story is definitively abandoned. That changes the classification from WIP to Abandoned; obviously I don't have the access to change that myself on the thread index, but thought I would inform.