From the reviews:

You see, they're not that different from us.

 

I apologize. This one I posted a while back wasn't necessarily WTF. I had thought Heather was Hellen at first glance.

 

1. The blonde from outer space » reviews

an this is my first story ever! R&R OR ILL KILL YA! Harry finds a cute stranger Read and review! you know you want to! may containt adult themes later hint,hint........ UPDATE PETUNIA AND VERNON DROP ded and Harry plays with Sidera, oops forgot you don't
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,003 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-30-06 - Published: 10-2-06​

 

That's okay, it's still mildly WTF. Blatantly Mary-Sue fics like that... plus self-insert... obviously.

My contribution

2. The boy who wished he'd die dot dot dot until now » by Emily Rai reviews

Harry gets raped and runs away to the leaky couldren and who should he run into in Diagon Ally? None other than his Secrtet Friend! Rated for language, rape, and maybe a lemon in later chapeters...Hope you like it PLZ R&R!
Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,464 - Reviews: 64 - Updated: 9-29-07 - Published: 7-4-07

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What can I say. BTW, it's HPDM. Figures.

 

This one isn't Harry Potter, but...


Fighting and Grinding with The Beat of Life » by PinkCh3rryBlossom reviews

2ndtimeposted.Saks is a dancer & Syao is a kickboxer at a college 4 ppl who excel in n e thing physical.A rapist is wandering the skool & Syaos class has 2 teach the girls how 2 defend themselves. full sum inside. M for lang no lemons.
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 65,272 - Reviews: 234 - Updated: 7-4-06 - Published: 7-26-05

If one cannot bother to use real English in a summary, it never bodes well for the actual story.

 

Talk about being too trusting...

 

Wherever It Takes You » by james'n'lily'4eva reviews

Another JamesLily! YAY! Let's hear it for them! I'm not gonna bother writing up a summary cos I'm really bad at it. T rating for now.​

Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-31-07 - Published: 9-30-07​

Why do you bother writing a fanfic if you are unable to come up with a summary?

The One To Light The Way » by Nikki Flinn reviews

My response to Luna's Challenge. What would happen if the prophecy included two children? Meet Harry's half sister Lysandra, daughter of Snape. You know you want to read it...
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 11,218 - Reviews: 70 - Updated: 10-31-07 - Published: 9-23-05

Actually I had absolutely no compulsion what so ever to read this probable piece of shit.
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Not writing a summary because they are bad at it- if that logic continues, then doesn't that mean they should actually write the FanFiction in the first place?

This one made me laugh- the exact things I place in my 'not to include' option all appeared. Take a guess at what they are?

Harry and Malfoy by Distraught Writer reviews

Yes, I know that title sucks. Basically it's smut. COMPLETE!
Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 729 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 8-8-05 - Published: 8-8-05​

 

How sad.

If I Could Melt His Heart » by Mistress of Eternity reviews

TENTH CHAPTER UP! Her red hair... and her deep brown eyes... her innocence, it all reminded him of someone. Someone he had loved long ago. Was it possible to melt his heart after all those years? WARNING: Contains rape and sexual content.
Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,408 - Reviews: 54 - Updated: 4-29-07 - Published: 8-30-05

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Uh huh. It's SSGW, if you haven't guessed....

 

Lily had green eyes you fucking asshole. Get your facts straight about Lily. Ginny slut Weasley is nothing like the sweet innocent Lily.

I fucking hate people who mess up about Lily and I want to use kitchenware torture on those who compare her to Ginny.

 

Apparently, she'd been melting his heart a little too enthusiastically. Maybe that would teach her a lesson.

 

Not HP, but if you've ever seen a more blatant self insert I really don't want to know:

 

Wow. I don't think I want to know if there's a more blatant one either.

My Contributions:

Please, No More Surprises! » reviews
SEQUEL 2 MORE SURPRISESout of school,Hermione and Krys have to try and cope with the new girls in Ron and Ares' lives. Will Ron forgive Hermione for stringing him along,in Hogwarts? Will Ares forgive Krys,for dumping him again,before they left 4 school?

Kris and Ares. Wtf? I can come up with far better names for 'original' characters.

. Peter Pan Syndrome: an Afflicted Dark Lord » by AnagumaConscience reviews
Voldemort is selfish, narcissistic, immature, irresponsible, rebellious, angry, manipulative, and believes that he is beyond the law. Now he needs to be a responsible adult...no arrant ships...
Fiction Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,596 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-1-07 - Published: 10-16-07

... family/angst!? Peter Pan Syndrome!? Most of the descriptions I can sorta understand... but, but...

 

Although I like Lily infinitely better than Ginny, I'm afraid that my formerly neutral opinion of redheads have taken a severe nosedive. Er, Fred and George excepted. I hate nearly all of the Weasleys. JKR scarred me forever.
Is a Peter Pan syndrome sort of like, fear of aging?

 

I'm too lazy (and uninterested) to look too deeply into it, but according to Wikipedia, Peter Pan Syndrome is a pop-psychology term used to describe an adult who is socially immature.

Edit: Just figured I'd add an odd summary I found.

What the hell. Seriously. Is that supposed to be a summary? A sentence? Something completely irrelevant to the story?

 

Beware, for it has begun!

No Other Man On Earth

Albus’s life has suffered a great deal of upheaval and Elphias is that constant comforting presence always waiting to take him into his arms. Dumbledore x Elphias Doge, mentions of Dumbledore x Grindelwald.

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-23-07 - Published: 10-23-07

 

There, DumbGrin pairings popping up all over the place already! Gah!

Perfectly Chained » by Oirowin reviews

Percy shows Harry the wonders of a broom closet. rnWarnings: slash, set in Harry's third year making him 13 and Percy...17.
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,673 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 1-28-05​

 

Perfectly Chained » by Oirowin reviews

Percy shows Harry the wonders of a broom closet. rnWarnings: slash, set in Harry's third year making him 13 and Percy...17.
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,673 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 6-21-07 - Published: 1-28-05​

[/QUOTE]

I've seen that one before I think. When it first came out.

Head Over High Heels » by FgsDgs reviews
Harry is returning to Hogwarts for his fourth year, except this time, he might be wearing the girls' uniform! What will his classmates think if he shows up to Potions in a cute dress and heels? AU Year 4, OOC. Crossdressing fun! Chapter 15 complete!
Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34,123 - Reviews: 103 - Updated: 11-2-07 - Published: 9-2-07

Crossdressing fun people! In Potions Class!

An Eventful Year » by Ruby Tyra reviews
The students find out that there is more to the new transfer students than meets the eye. Especially when they meet the other transfers. Crossover with DNAngel, D.Gray Man, Fruits Basket, Fullmetal Alchemist and Legend of Zelda. No need to know the anime.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 30,994 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 11-2-07 - Published: 8-20-07

With that many crossovers, I don't think there's a need to know this fic period. Those anime don't mix well together anyway, let alone with HP.

A wedding and other misfortunes » by sephora85 reviews
After final battle. Voldemort is destroyed. Many Death Eaters were acquitted. Ginny and Hermione return to Hogwarts for their 7th year.Lucius Malfoy as teacher.Marriage Law enacted. Can it get worse? Yes! LM&GW,perhaps LL&SS, HG&RL
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,644 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 11-2-07 - Published: 10-26-07

Allow me to translate the initials of the pairings: Lucius Malfoy/Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Remus Lupin. Well... marriage law. Apparently meaning that teenagers must marry people more than double their ages despite the fact that there are other people in their year.

 

Psychic Lunar, I find myself admiring the last third of your signature especially. How come I can't figure out nifty stuff like that by myself?

Harry Potter betrays Ron and Hermione » by kmyers reviews

read to find out
Fiction Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-16-07 - Published: 10-16-07

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Uh. Huh.

Kryptonite » by frangipanibasket reviews

When Severus gains custody of Harry and Draco after Dumbledore's death, he moves a sick Harry and unenthusiastic Draco to a small town. How will two wizards and a witch cope in Smallville? FemHarry
Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 28,490 - Reviews: 72 - Updated: 11-1-07 - Published: 7-9-07
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Admittedly, this one didn't sound TOO bad. I mean, compared to the others. But still. Smallville....

 

Thanks. I thought it was a cool quote too when I saw it on that funny quotes website when I was looking for something to put in my sig.

I can't take my eyes off you by Spiffing Repartee
Harry falls into angst ridden love.
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,109 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 11-2-07 - Published: 11-2-07

Wow. Angst ridden. How sad and utterly tragic.

We Have Lingered in the Chambers of the Sea » by Elyse3 reviews
The beginning of a trilogy of Greek tragedy, in which Albus and Gellert meet, discover the greater good, and discuss knitting patterns. Indeed, there be CANON slash. Complete.
Complete - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,210 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 10-31-07 - Published: 10-28-0

... Greek tragedy. A and G equals "Not Greek" and I am pretty sure that knitting patterns was not a topic of discuission between those two. Knitting patterns would be discussed by Hermione and Dobby, perhaps, but not those two. I will refrain from comment on the canon part.