-Snorts- What the hell was that!? Those reviews had better be flames...

Yes, it is so typical.

Tell me if that made sense.

 

I'm curious about these. Do they really expect people to read their stories other than to make fun of them? By 6th grade I could easily tell if I sounded like a dipshit in a note or a book report I wrote, and I wasn't really exceptional or anything. I can't imagine writing like that unless I really tried, gave up, got smashed, and tried again.

Are these just really small screwed up nine year olds or are they just seriously English challenged?

 

I think that they are both grammatically and Englishly challenged.
My friend writes like she just discovered pencils and paper.
Honestly, it doesn't take that long to write a complete sentence.

This is coming from someone who text messages in sentences, though.

I've found that those aforementioned individuals actually think that their "stories" are good and that people do actually want to read them.

Here's a few gems:

1. The Dark Mark Rises reviews

The Dark Mark will rise.​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-28-06 - Published: 7-28-06​

2. Wizards and Weed reviews

Watch Harry and Hermione as they weave through a school of marijuana addicts!​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,883 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 7-28-06 - Published: 7-28-06​

3. Pain reviews

Poor Ginny...this is my first attempt at writing angst.​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 76 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 7-28-06 - Published: 7-28-06​

4. 50 Sent Goez 2 Hogwartds Yo reviews

Harry Potter gets taught a lesson in love, compassion, and da shizzle from 50 Cent!​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 223 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 7-28-06 - Published: 7-28-06​

5. Harry and the Homies reviews

Me iz da shizzle....​

Complete - Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 110 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 7-27-06 - Published: 7-27-06​

 

...New record for the fewest words in a story?

 

...New record for the least original words ever.

 

That beats the words:review ratio of about every author on this site.

 

Why does every fangirl feel the compulsion to give either Remus or Sirius a uterus?

8. Sweet Merlin Get Away from Me » by greenikat89 reviews

MWPP: James is a girl, Peter becomes the most wanted boy in Hogwarts, and the entire school thinks Remus is pregnant with Sirius’s baby, all in all it’s just another normal day of many for the Marauders.
Fiction Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,631 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 11-23-07 - Published: 2-25-06​

 

And the worst part is that being impregnated is considered normal by them.

 

Wreaking Havoc » by Catherine or Cate
Independent! Powerful! Buttkicking! Political! Rich! Harry Manipulative! Dumbles. SEE WHAT HARRY DOES! IT WILL GIVE DUMBLEDORE'S GREY HAIRS GREY HAIRS! Attention: the language is heard in every school. Don't like it Don't read it. Be mature.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Action/Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,770 - Reviews: 161 - Updated: 11-19-07 - Published: 7-24-07

Grey hairs, man. Gray hairs...

 

Fixed it for you, thar.

 

The idea of posting a Haiku as an actual story amused me, for some reason.

It seems like it was obviously a joke, with the "Complete" and everything.

Edit2: Despite the summary, "Wizards and Weed" amused me greatly. It seemed like such a crack-fic, but it actually was actually relatively well-written. Don't shoot the messenger.

Edit3: It seems the author might actually be doing it as a joke.

 

Shadows Within the Light » by SensiblyTainted reviews

Harry is reborn as Shadow Snape. He returns to a Hogwarts run by McGonagall, and he arrives with a slightly altered face and new scars. Neville and Draco help him face the monsters in his mind and the new evils stalking the world. [DH]
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 32 - Words: 237,331 - Reviews: 1679 - Updated: 11-29-07 - Published: 1-17-07


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Hell, if we all flame the guy we can probably give him a better review/words ratio than anyone else on the planet! can anyone else claim three or four reviews for every WORD they've written?

 

Temporarily leaving the lurker hole that RL threw me in, to post this gem:

Oh, but wait. The summary is in the first chapter. And there's background info as well!

WTF?
I'll spare you the extended summary...

 

HARRYS WEAKNESS by wen 2000

its the 7th year in hogwarts..voldemort hasnt found what harrys weakness is..ginny....wiill he suceed in doing something hurtful or painful to her ...to make harry come?find out in this ff..........................
Fiction Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 157 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 11-29-07 - Published: 11-29-07


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Winter Wishes by unexpectedemon

my 1st fanfic!here's the summary: i wish for snow to fall this christmas. they were the best of friends and always made this wish together. but when a disagreement is made between the two, will they ever make up? or is their friendship gone forever?R&R!
Fiction Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 11-29-07 - Published: 11-29-07

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Harry Potter & the sacrifice » by Midnight Slytherin reviewsOkay, the start might look a bit boring but it gets interesting, yup.I made it up. It's about Midnight Slytherin who friends up with Harry, Ron and Hermione, who must fight Voldemort and who ends up with Draco. You'll see for your self. . Interesting.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,923 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 11-29-07 - Published: 11-27-07
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Oh it gets worse, He's the start.

Harry Potter & the sacrifice

Okay, the story is about this girl Midnight Slytherin who is grand-grand-grand-grand-e.t.c- daughter of Salazar Slytherin and Rowena Rawenclaw. All of the girl’s father side was in Slytherin, on her mother’s side, however were all from different houses and never in Slytherin. The story goes as Midnight is born and finds out that the generation of her father’s side predicted that one day, such dark wizard as Voldemort will be born and that a boy who they decided to store all the Slytherin’s powers for Voldemort to get one day (they did not know that that boy, appeared to actually be a girl, Midnight) will come to life, so they store all the Slytherin’s powers in her and that’s how our Midnight gets the unusual curly electric blue and black hair and a pretty birth mark of a pentacle on her arm (but no-one knows this, besides her family). Midnight is known to be the sacrifice among her family, the Death Eaters and naturally Voldemort. Her father and brother are known to be Death Eaters as well.
But not her mother and nor was her sister who had died in the hands of Voldemort. Now she is to go to Hogwarts, to her 1st year, but must not forget the terrible future that awaits her, that’s where our story begins.
(Must warn you people though, I only have the most important and interesting moments in here, sort of (if you read Harry Potter books) like a pension. I’m not saying that it’s not interesting, just want you to be warned.)
Meaning- Royal Blood- the rarest blood race possible, the best you can wish for. Gives you special powers and extra ordinary talents, 7 Royal Bloods exist until one dies and another one’s born. All Royal Bloods have a special gift to sing.

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To Jump, or not to Jump by Queen-of-Sussness Sirius scares Remus when he threatens to jump...a very real threat since he's standing on the edge...can Remus bring him back before it's too late? RLSB, suicide themes.

What a "lovely" piece of work...

 

I think the whole Remus/Sirius romance is just defaulted to by slash writers. James is obviously a breeder, Peter is disgusting, and the other two were unaccounted for. Therefore they like to have sex with each other. And with Harry sometimes.

 

Who could be the birth dad guys!? ANSWER ME! Who could it possibly be!?

Revange? Secrat? Deatly?

Oh it's epic alright. It's horrid!

 

Excerpt from said epic-

This is probably off-topic, so I'll add in a few gems.

Yeah... exciting....
Oh, and by the way, the gray hairs&gray hairs fic has already been posted.

 

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Lord V » reviews

Nuclear war breaks out and Voldemort casts a spell to stop time. He and Harry alone are left to defuse the missiles and prevent the war. Voldemort’s radiophobic. Oh joy. LVHP. Spoilers for HBP, none for DH.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 54,108 - Reviews: 141 - Updated: 11-22-07 - Published: 5-16-07