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WIP Fate Revelation Online by daniel-gudman - T - Fate/Stay Night / Sword Art Online

Discussion in 'Fate/Stay Night' started by AlphaMagnum, Jan 20, 2014.

  1. AlphaMagnum

    AlphaMagnum Squib

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    Title: Fate Revelation Online
    Author: daniel-gudman
    Rating: T
    Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Fate/Stay Night x Sword Art Online
    Pairings: None yet; hints of Kirito/Asuna but too early to tell
    Summary: Ilya likes to play video games, and in the time she has remaining, Shirou is more than willing to play the new VR game with her. But when they are trapped inside the game, [Sword Art Online], they determine something even more distressing: Kayaba Akihiko is definitely a Magus.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9740933/1/Fate-Revelation-Online

    I found this one pretty enjoyable and didn't see it anywhere here. Feel free to kill this thread with fire if I'm wrong, however.

    In any case, the author blends the two parent fandoms quite well. The integration of Nasuverse magic into SAO's system would undoubtedly cause some problems, and the author writes them honestly, for the lack of a better term. For one example Kirito has some interesting thoughts about game balance and how Nasuverse magic kind of wrecks it.

    I like the attention paid to various characters in each chapter, though the story does feel a little disjointed because each chapter can almost be called a self-contained story which falls under the story's overarching umbrella.

    I found the integration of video game concepts as well as the use of brackets in writing rather entertaining, but some readers may be put off. The story is certainly YMMV in that respect.

    My other concern is that Shirou looks to be crossing the line into overpowered as far as gameplay is concerned, but I also see his personality flaws as a character holding him back, which makes the situation more bearable.

    In any case, I'd give it a 4/5, because while it's a strong story that treats all of its characters quite well, there are definitely some flaws that may keep it back from broader appeal.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2014
  2. DrSarcasm

    DrSarcasm Unspeakable

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    Well, I read the first chapter and it looks interesting enough. I'll have to give it a more thorough read-through later, but it looks promising enough at the least.
     
  3. Knyght

    Knyght The Chosen One

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    I wanted to like it but I couldn't manage it. It looked interesting when I saw the idea being developed but the execution didn't match it. There's just something really dull about it and it doesn't hold my attention.

    Based on what I remember reading, I'd give it a 3/5.
     
  4. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    I tried to read this, but something about the writing style made me not want to. I don't think I finished the first chapter, to be honest. I won't rate right now, but I might try it again if there's a moderately positive reception on DLP.
     
  5. Clerith

    Clerith Supreme Mugwump DLP Supporter

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    I've read this twice, actually. It didn't make it to my favorites list either time. It's long, but kinda boring. Decently written, but nothing spectacular. The way the author decided to go with the plot... it's just not that interesting. Shirou being pure canon Shirou is a minus in my opinion. The bad end and dojo filler chapters just break the flow and any tension.

    3/5, decent time waster but nothing that really draws you in.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2014
  6. Probellum

    Probellum Death Eater

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    I like this story, I really do. I'm even keeping up with it on TFF. However, I also have to say this fic isn't exactly library worthy. It's something I'd put in the Almost Recommendable thread.

    One thing to make note of:
    Some liberties are taken with nasuverse magecraft, specifically in how Magecraft has become weaker and weaker over time, with the growth of the human population. The story posits that Magecraft has become weaker because the majority of Humanity does not accept the existence of it and that this can be solved by increasing the awareness of magecraft.

    So, if you're bothered by some core mechanics of the original work being changed to make it work better, and I know that at least some fans of Nasuverse are, then you probably won't like this fic.
     
  7. Tesla

    Tesla Auror

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    It's an interesting story. My problem with it is that I struggle to give a fuck about the side characters, and there's quite a lot of attention paid to them. Something encouraging about the story is that it improves as it goes along - at first read I got fairly bored of it, but then when I went back and read some new chapters I was more interested.

    But, ultimately, I like the story, because I like what the author is doing with Shirou. At times I really it, at times it's kinda boring. 4/5 from me. I could understand it not being everyone's cup of tea, but I'll give it a library rating since I really like some of the fight scenes and Shirou's introspections.
     
  8. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I want an SAO/FSN cross that doesn't try to shoe horn in magic. There was a cross not too long ago called Tohsaka Online that had Rin, by some weird act of fate. Giving the game a try. I though it would be interesting to see Rin have to deal with a situation where she couldn't rely on her magic at all.

    Sadly no magic was shoe horned in. Becuase it wasn't like SAO is primarily character driven.

    As for this...well it was pretty boring. I got to about somewhere on the second floor and than lost interest.

    2/5 for me. He really needs to get back to The Biggest Chunin Exam Ever.
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2014
  9. meev

    meev Groundskeeper

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    I'm not really sure how you could call this shoe-horning magic in when the entire plot of the fic is based around the magic.
     
  10. someone010101

    someone010101 Groundskeeper

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    It' great fun and I like canon Shirou and canon Kirito, a lot of continuity gags.

    On the negative side, the author has eliminated most sources of tension and I have yet to see anybody who could be called an antagonist. Kotomines Church for Bad Guys doesn't count. On top of that, Shirou is overpowered.

    3/5.
     
  11. Probellum

    Probellum Death Eater

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    Which is the whole point of Shirou. In the fic, there should have been mention of how Cardinal makes the game harder, the easier of a time the players have, so as to keep game balance.

    Now what do you think Shirou is doing to that balance? It's been hinted at, with some of the "Patches," with Cardinal doing exactly what it's supposed to do. Maybe he isn't the only reasons for the upgrades in difficulty, but I'll bet you he's a major one.

    And if he keeps on like he has been, he'll probably end up responsible for a game where the difficulty is ungodly and be responsible for all the deaths that come with it.
     
  12. Gengar

    Gengar Polymagus Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Why didn't you say it was a Dark Souls xover?!

    *follows link *
     
  13. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

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    The story is okay but I have the same problem that I have with most Fate Stay Night stories, in that I don't particularly care for Shirou. He is well written here and all but I just do not have a great interest in his particular brand of absolutism.

    Ilya is, by far, the best part about this story and it is unfortunate that there are so many POVs that her presence is relatively rare. Given that almost every other POV isn't that interesting compared to her, those parts become a bit tiring to read, since all I want is to get back to the Ilya centric chapters or the chapters in which Ilya is at least taking some kind of role.

    I appreciated the atmosphere in the story, and how the other players came to regard Ilya and Shirou, but honestly, as solid as the writing is, it isn't all that gripping.

    3/5
     
  14. Gengar

    Gengar Polymagus Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I couldn't get past the chapter with the massive nasuverse infodump that seemingly all stories set in the fate universe love so much.

    Shame too, because i had high hopes for Ilya in SAO.

    I dunno why authors bother dedicating such large amounts of text detailing the mechanics of the world. I personally don't think it's relevant and have enjoyed plenty of fate stories where I've actually skimmed through our just outright skipped all of it - all the while not feeling like I've missed out.

    Out of fairness, i didn't rate the fic. I only got to chapter 3.

    Call me when we get a Gilgamesh in SAO story.

    He may be a dick, but at least it'd be funny.
     
  15. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I've read over half of what's there and it's deadly boring. I'm not sure what the point of adding magic and Shirou to the SAO world is, because the author failed to do anything interesting with it. There's no strong story line to carry me through the fic; it bores me.

    2/5 for the world building and decent writing.
     
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