So, for anyone that hasn't been following the final arc of MoR; the second-last chapter was posted today, with a challenge at the end:

Following that is a list of restrictions and rules pertaining to the story, and a deadline of Tuesday, March 3rd at 12:01 PST.

If anyone can think of a solution to the problem within the restrictions, the story will continue. If not, the story will "get a shorter and sadder ending."

For those of us who have been following the story: Any ideas?

And before anyone says it, I know the history DLP has had with this particular story and author. I'm just curious as to whether we could come up with a good solution.

 

The solution is clear, because it's what Harry did all the rest of the fic: talk them to death.

 

Perhaps Harry learns that wands really are just a metaphor for one's penis?

 

He (pretends to) join Lord Voldemort until the time is up. There we go.
The only problem is Legilimency, but I'm pretty sure the self-insert supposed to be Harry is capable of Occlumency, so problem solved.

 

/Facepalm

So what he like straight up couldn't think of how to do it and he's asking his readership to do it for him? Like I know he doesn't know how to write an actual story with a narrative and stuff but jesus christ.

How about he just pretends to join Voldemort and then bails later. Or come up with any sort of Deus Ex Machina to appear. You know, like in canon.

 

No he already wrote both versions of the ending and will "canonize" one of them. He did this with one of his earlier original fictions.

 

If you people bothered to actually read that message in its entriety, you would know that author added additional requirements, some of them being:

(Emphasis mine)

This seems to be quite clear. If you didn't follow that story, you shouldn't discuss it.

 

EDIT: Wait. He's still in first year here? Here I am thinking he's 17 from that bit about being naked and facing off against so many Death Eaters plus Voldemort :\

 

Really?

I stopped following it around about the time it completely lost touch with reality (I seem to remember lightsabers and Harry figuring that breaking the law was A-OK for incomprehensible reasons). I wasn't even going to comment on this thread until that snippet appeared.

My first thought was 'that sounds like a stupid contrived rule, why is he allowed to speak in parseltongue?'

My second thought was 'perhaps I should at least look at the last chapter and the full rules to make sure it's as stupid as I thi... oh god so much self-glorifying-wank.'

My third thought was 'that's a really impressive way of whoring reviews.'

 

That sounds less like a puzzle and more like 'follow my exact thought patterns'.

 

Why even bother encouraging this idiocy?

 

Keep stroking that hate-boner, guys.

 

Is Harry still in his first year? I haven't followed the story so I jumped to the most recent chapter to see if the writing quality had improved from what I remember, and Voldemort's first lines are making me think that Harry is still 11.

The writing quality still looks bad too.

 

Harry's still in first year but he's been given a bunch of super-powerful upgrades that he's too stupid to use.
What was supposed to be a story about a rationalist using his intelligence to do things other people can't quickly became the story of someone who can do things other people can't but is too mind numbingly stupid to use them effectively.
I guess the problem started when Yudkowsky confused rationalist and magical fairy.
(Harry discovered that all of the laws of transfiguration were actually caused by wizards not understanding timeless physics properly, that molecules don't really touch and solid objects are actually collections of vaguely related objects, and that there is no clear cut off between one "object" and the next. This means Harry can transfigure anything into anything at range. However, since Harry himself didn't actually understand what he was babbling about the takeaway was the ability to transfigure parts of objects. )

 

Look at the positive side guys, at least this abomination is coming to an end. Maybe everyone will agree to forget about it now.

 

I admit I have been reading MoR out of sheer morbid curiosity (I can't stand not knowing how things end), though I did not add it to my favorites list and I never posted a review.

And I still hate it as much as I possibly can, especially since 'running out of magic' was introduced.

That being said, I have no problems with the author giving a puzzle to the readers to let them guess what the ending is going be (because let's be honest, he already wrote it and is not going to use reader suggestions).

 

If his wand is pointed downwards... BLasting curse through the floor sending him to another level where he promptly apparates? Can he apparate? Because I've never read this. Passed it over everytime.

 

The new and amazing Avada Kedavra 2000! It will kill everyone except the caster in a ten meter radius. Did I mention that it can only be cast in parseltongue, and your wand only needs to be in your pocket?

 

The obvious answer is that the self insert is the one needed to prevent the destruction of the earth. This Harry knows that the sun will go out, knows about climate change, knows about the scientific apocalypses that humanity is perpetuating, and has ideas on how each one can be stopped, something that this worlds Tom Riddle does not have.

In this way, Harry's death will cause the apocalypse that Voldemort is attempting to avoid in his magical vow. All Harry has to do is tell him something to that effect in Parseltongue. The only way for the earth, humanity, and by extension, Voldemort can be saved is by their Rationalist Messiah, otherwise the world will end in fire and ashes as the (second) Prophecy foretold.

TL: DR in order for the world that Voldemort is to short sighted to save, the Self Insert must prosper.

All donations to the Self Insert's real world goals can be sent toward the author's employer.