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Complete "Foolish" by Tonksaholic - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Joe's Nemesis, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 ~ Prestige ~

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    So, I posted this in "Almost Recommended" a while back, but since reading: " Especially well-written stories - even if they come with un-DLP-like ships or ideas should rather be submitted for review," I decided to post it here.

    (Note: there's another story titled Foolish in the library, but it's by a different author).

    Seldom do I read a fic with such a mature voice, especially in the romance/angst corner of HP fandom. Every situation Ginny finds herself in (it is a Ginny POV fic) is both believable within the storyworld, and handled realistically. The OCs are plentiful, but every one that is important is well-developed with their own distinct personality.

    Harry, Ginny, and other canon characters are all within character, except that they're older and have matured, or are dealing with issues of surviving post-war. There is not a hint of bashing, and even so, Ron can still be recognized as sometimes speaking before thinking, or being a little overexuberant about things. Molly, who makes a very small appearance in the story, is still very protective, but not overprotective.

    The writing itself is well above ninety-nine percent of what is found on ff.net. Words are well chosen, sentences constructed properly, and there's a nice flow to her lines with very few spelling errors.

    There are, of course, places where the story falls a little flat, but the fact of the matter is, at least for me, that the overall depth and skill of writing carries you past those places with little more than a hiccup. Matter of fact, the reason I found that I noticed them, was because I was used to such a decent overall quality that any slip became that much more noticeable.

    The three reasons I didn't post it here the first time were: (1) pairing, (2) stylistic issues (use of bold, italics, etc), and (3) the author tends, at times, to use two or three metaphors to get the point across, when only one is necessary.

    Now, as I think back over it, the style issues are more my hang-up since I'm a style-reader for a grad school. The metaphors are a bit much at times, but the usual quality with which she handles them at least make for a pleasant read before the storyline picks back up.


    tl;dr a pretty good story with quality writing and a mature voice. Don't let the fact that it's Ginny or marked as Romance/Angst dissuade you from reading it.

    EDIT: Forgot to say: please, for the love of God, don't grade it based on "OMG! I HATEZ GINNY!" or "I HATEZ ANGST!" Give the story it's due and judge it on it's merits.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2014
  2. esran

    esran Professor

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    Its extremely boring. I won't rate it, because I'm not overly fond of romance in general, but this came off as particularly boring.
    Also, stylistically, I hate the bolding to emphasize words. Italics would be much better.
     
  3. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 ~ Prestige ~

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    The first chapter is pretty much all setup. When you get to the second chapter, it starts taking off, and I found by the third chapter, I was completely sucked in.

    And yeah, that's what I meant by style issues.
     
  4. Tehan

    Tehan Avatar of Khorne DLP Supporter

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    Thread Rating: 4 votes, 2.25 average. Only comment in the thread not from the OP is from someone saying he won't rate it.

    Hmm.

    Sorry, Scrubb, but an angsty H/G Ginny-POV fic ain't gonna get a fair shake here, even though it should be judged on it's merits. Too many people get tiny-dicked satisfaction out of anonymously voting 1 on anything that offers a real or imagined slight to their tastes.

    Starting to think that the rating system needs reworking to add accountability somehow.
     
  5. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 ~ Prestige ~

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    Yeah, I had hope from the quoted mod post, but I should've known better. A shame, because it's a talented piece. Yeah, it has it's problems as I've said. But a talented piece none-the-less.
     
  6. gbbz

    gbbz Professor

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    I remember this one. It had this secret city of stuck up people. Overall, not bad. As you have said it has good writing, reasonable character and a believable plot. But it's also very slow paced with too much family drama and too little explosions. Did I like it? Sort of maybe?

    I read it before it was completed, late teen chapters I think and I remember wishing it had ended already. Sometimes it looked like the author wanted to drag out the plot in order to write more words. That was my biggest problem with it, I think. Very competent 3/5.

    But I will rate it 4 since people have likely rated it without reading it, just out of reflex.
     
  7. JohnThePyro

    JohnThePyro Headmaster

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    I got about four chapters in, couldn't taken anymore. The writing is technically sound, the dialogue believable and in-character. I just found it incredibly boring, but that might just be me. It's post Hogwarts, which puts me off in general. The pairing isn't too bad, I don't mind H/G if it's written well. It's just dull to me.

    I'd give it a 3/5. Not great, not really catching. If it suits your tastes, you'll probably enjoy it.
     
  8. dmacx

    dmacx Groundskeeper

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    I think I might have read this before, but it wasn't complete. It's competently written, but really slow. Throwing an OC in my face in the first chapter didn't score it any points, no matter how well developed the character.

    For me, the pairing is a plus.

    3.5/5, rounded up to 4 to help balance out the reflex raters.
     
  9. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    It's... okay. But, to echo others' sentiments... it's so boring.

    3 stars.
     
  10. esran

    esran Professor

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    They should change the voting system so only people who post in the thread can vote. If people aren't willing to explain their views, they shouldn't get to vote.
     
  11. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    In the long run the reviews usually match the thread rating. Perhaps or probably partially, because there also are people deliberately upvoting a thread, because they think its current rating isn't justified (see dmacx).


    Concerning the story:

    I agree with some of the posts above, it is well written. Nevertheless I find it boring. It doesn't manage to catch and keep my attention.

    Thus I also rate it 3/5.
     
  12. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    I disagree. Not least because "fair" is undefined -- if most people happen to not like [Insert theme/plot/pairing here] because that's just how the make-up of the site is, then how is it "unfair" if the rating is low? After all, the rating is supposed to reflect your (our) liking of the story. And since it's entirely possible that people read, vote and don't post, it's impossible to decide what reason any vote has.

    In the long run, I agree with Minion: Outlier votes will be averaged out. It's only really a problem if there are few votes.

    And it goes without saying that you can recommend all types of stories (yes, even slash). Simply back it at least with a 4/5 vote in your OP (that is, your opinion is that the story belongs into the Library), and you're good to go.


    As for the story: I like Ginny, I read my share of well-written angsty Ginny POV stuff (The Rebirth, Backfire, Seeking Ginny), and so far I'm not inclined to touch this one. What's the matter with useless summaries recently? :|

    Someone who read it give a short synopsis of the plot please. Don't mind spoilers if it's needed, just put it in spoiler tags.
     
  13. Tehan

    Tehan Avatar of Khorne DLP Supporter

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    I don't go into the Other Fandom review board and rate all the F/SN stories 1/5. I leave them unrated, even though my 'opinion' of those fics would equate to a 1/5 because I have no interest in F/SN stories and thus they'd all bore me silly - that would be an 'unfair' rating.

    Unless there's an argument to be made that angst or Ginny-PoV stories are inherently bad, the probable 1/5 rating/s* this story got tells me that this story garnered some unfair ratings from people voting low because the story was unrelated to their interests, considering that the lowest written review in this thread thus far was a 3/5.

    Maybe outliers do get evened out and this is just a storm in a teacup on my part. Minion probably pays enough attention to be able to speak with confidence. But it's still a shitty thing to be happening and I'll take the opportunity to shake my cane at the unknown twits doing it with gusto.

    *A few seconds playing with numbers tells me that the most likely scenario is 1-1-3-4, 1-2-3-3 or 1-1-2-5, depending whether or not the OP rated the story. The 'best' case scenario would be 2-2-3-3, which is still harsher than the impression this thread has given me.
     
    T3t
  14. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    Ginny got preggers with some OC, with whom she hooked up after a series of fucking around, which happened after she broke it off with Harry post-DH. The guy tells her to abort, fate intervenes, so to speak, and she decides to keep it, but things happen and she can't reveal who the father is unless she wants various things she confided in previously mentioned OC to come out.

    Then she meets Harry accidentally, and eventually moves in the same village that he lives in, despite knowing her presence was doing him more harm than good (all the while chanting "the babby, the babby, the babby" as if she was Samus in Other M), so cue some emotional manipulations, the truth of things coming out and that about wraps it up.

    Oh and angst. Mustn't forget that. Plenty of that to go around.

    I admit, this fic is a guilty pleasure of mine, but even so I rate it 2/5.
     
  15. MrSam

    MrSam Second Year

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    What the fuck, that sounds awfull
     
  16. kinetique

    kinetique Death Eater

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    That's about what I'd expect in a Twilight fic, all it needs is some pointless rape for even more cheap drama.
     
  17. Syno

    Syno First Year

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    All it needs now is a car accident that brought about amnesia and parents who disapprove and we got ourselves some fine korean drama.
     
  18. Fatality

    Fatality Unspeakable

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    How far should you let that go though? Should we let a bunch of shitty Draco/Harry fics enter the library because hey, while it's not my thing other people might enjoy that?

    Fact is, DLP historically doesn't like certain pairings and there isn't much you're going to be able to do to change that. If the story is good enough, people will read it despite the pairing and vote accordingly. This story... isn't.

    I'll admit I just read the first chapter and then skimmed a few parts of the story, but what I saw was pretty terrible. It's overly long, angst filled and the subject matter holds no interest for me. Ginny could be changed with any other character (even Fleur, who is clearly the most banging chick around) and I still wouldn't like this story. Ginny bangs a dude named Lionel (all I can think of is Lex Luthor's dad when I hear this) and Harry gets stuck raising his kid apparently.

    Best part of this story was this part in Chapter 1, if only for the mental image of Harry dumping Ginny on her ass:
    So yeah, that's why I'm rating this story 2/5. Technically well written, but completely uninteresting.
     
  19. Spyder

    Spyder Third Year

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    Possibly the most tedious story I have ever started. Technically well written, but who cares? The angst just gave me a pounding headache.

    No rating from me, as it just wasn't worth the hard slog to bother giving it one.

    Edited to add:
    Mate - spoiler tags. Use them. I may not have liked the story, but anyone else who may want to give it a read probably wouldn't appreciate your plot spoilage.
     
    Last edited: Oct 3, 2014
  20. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 ~ Prestige ~

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    Fair assessment. The character development is very, very good in it for the most part, but it is all parsed by relationship woe/personal woe. Not everyone's cup of tea.
     
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