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Complete Forever Knight by DeliverMeFromMe - NC17

Discussion in 'Restricted Section' started by The Fine Balance, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Messages:
    1,065
    Title: Forever Knight
    Author: DeliverMeFromMe
    Rating: NC-17
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama
    DLP Category:Restricted Section
    Pairing: H/Vamp!Hr
    Status: Complete
    Summary: War, werewolves, wizards, death, the undead… Harry has his work cut out for him. And then there’s Hermione, who’s a different set of vamp-angst altogether. Though war and death has changed so much, Harry knows he could beat the odds of a bitter fate. Now he just has to make her believe it. WARNINGS: Probably too much sex and extreme violence.
    Link: http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/5185

    500k words, so, it is massive.
    Go beyond the sex, which is too intense and too OCC in the begining, and you'll find yourself immersed in his story.


    Checked July 23, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 23, 2012
  2. yojorocks

    yojorocks Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Messages:
    286
    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    Overall, very nicely done. I personally loved how vampirism was protrayed in this story, invocing changes in Hermione's character. Yes, both Harry and Hermione are quite OOC in the beginning, but imho it was worth pushing through. It's a lot like Miranda Flairgold's work in how far AU it becomes towards the end, but I enjoyed it a lot. It's not perfect by any means, but I found it both enjoyable and entertaining, one of the better Vamp fics out there. Not earth shattering, mind you, but definitely better than the average fic.

    4/5
     
  3. Crazy1

    Crazy1 Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    I have to say, when even the author thinks there's too much sex then there probably is. I'll give it a try when I'm done with the 38 fics in the 'to read' folder in my Bookmarks.
     
  4. magyareagle

    magyareagle Guest

    I agree with The Fine Balance. Once you get beyond the slightly excessive sex at the begining, it really does come onto it's own. I like the portrayal of vampires in the story, and while I am no longer really a fan of Harry/Hermione (unlike Harry/Ginny, I can still tollerate it though), this one is tollerable and belongs in the archive. 4/5
     
  5. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Buffalo Grove, Il. (Suburban Chicago)
    Who comes up with these terrible titles? It's like, they're not even trying anymore. No, because those titles are better than these.

    What ever. The story...I just couldn't get into it. Maybe it's me; maybe I'm crazy.
     
  6. LegalAlien

    LegalAlien Denarii Host

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    113
    I have to agree that this is a quite good story with lots of very unique elements spread throughout the fic. There is a lot of sex in the beginning, but it does lessen considerably in the course of the story. I did like the portrayal of a vampiric Hermione though. Besides that the story is overally very well written.

    4.5/5
     
  7. deathinapinkboa

    deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    The sex scene...well all I will say is the whole time I was expecting Vernon or Dudley to come bursting in.

    It's okay. The information on Vampires is intersting--but the idea of Vampire drugs confuses me. Aren't they all addicted to blood in the first place?

    3.4/5

    Edit: Oh, and by the way

    Quidditch jersey my ass. He wears a fucking flaming scarlet robe!

    Sorry, but I just loathe such massive deviation of Canon. Next thing you know Voldemort is having trouble with reception on his cell phone
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2007
  8. KenderCleric

    KenderCleric Lord of Plot Bunnies

    Joined:
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    Terra Atlantus
    I am sooo working this into a story at some point. The mental image I got was priceless.
     
  9. Klael

    Klael Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Beep. Boop. Boop. riiiiiiiing.

    ...

    riiiiiiiing.

    click

    'We're sorry, but the Nextel subscriber you are trying to reach cannot be located. Please hang up and dial again.

    :Voldemort glares at his phone in an overpowering rage, throws it at the wall and follows it up with a slew of Avada Kedavra curses.

    "MALFOY! GET ME A NEW PHONE, DAMNIT!"
     
  10. CaptainG

    CaptainG Third Year

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2006
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    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    I read this avidly as it first came out - although to be fair i mainly skipped the sex scenes - they did little to add to the story other than draw in readers who were there for some smut.

    The thing I liked most about the story was the ending:
    I liked how instead of the usual 'Harry wins yay and all live happily ever' scenario, the author had Harry not become a Vampire, but instead this other creature (i think it was a Dhampir but I can't remember) which apparently dies after several hundred years. Also I liked that whilst Hermione could in theory have kids with Harry, it wasn't concluded in the story whether they could, due to Hermione having miscarriages.

    In all, I'd recommend this to anyone who has time to spare. A lot of spare time.
    4.5/5
     
  11. Dark Syaoran

    Dark Syaoran Persona 4 Admin

    Joined:
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    I've tried reading this story several times in the past. I didn't think it was all that great.
     
  12. Potterondrugs

    Potterondrugs Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
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    266
    Location:
    NJ
    my god it took so much time for five chapters and there was always a next button so i pulled down the chapter list and wept. This was one of those oh my god i'm nowhere close this story is to long let it be over moments. I hate it when that happens. When you get stuck reading a story when it's already massive instead of progressively and in small doses. progressively is like a drug to much is like a od but just enough to sate your desire but at the same time ignite it 10 times brighter a few hours later. I really made a attempt to get far but i found the length coupled with the angst and self-pity draging the quality of the story down to a casa-blanca fic.........enough said.
     
  13. cazten

    cazten Slug Club Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2005
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    Location:
    ca
    I really got to say, i give this story a 5/5. I hate anything to do with Hr/H or H/G, and it took me forever to give this a shot, but it turned out amazing to me. It was a huge powerhouse to read through, and it took basically all my time off work for a week, but the length i got to say was actually really good. It just felt to me like there was alot of realistic development. The only overnight changes there were was on part 2 when it jumped 5 years into the future and still then it explained how everyone developed very well. All the characters seemed to successfully move on and grow up, while maintaining those same characteristics that defined them while they were still young.

    The vampire culture was probably the best iv'e ever seen. The ancients were super powerful, but not so much like Nomach in Miranda's fic. They had very real weaknesses, even the most powerful could be slain in their sleep by a muggle that way. And the odd quirks, vanity, and fashion sense just seemed to add the perfect character for them, this coming from a guy who has zero fashion sense and could care less lol.

    Hermione's character was very cool. The author managed to really create a character who despite the radical changes and masks, was still Hermione to the core. I really enjoyed her character alot. It bugged my slightly in the begining when Hermione was basically more powerful than Harry in part 2, but it eventually evened out and he later became officially dominate. I actually probably liked it better this way. It showed real development. And despite her power i never really felt like it fell into the common trap of Harry gets lazy and depends of Hermione for everything. They each had their place.

    One of the best parts for me, (since i am a sort of romance junkie), was that while creating a drama, and angsty at times atmosphere, the author was still able to effectively create a war driven environment. It was balanced in the fact that it wasn't an all out war and training till you drop fic that can easily get old and repetitive, and it wasn't a complete drama that drives you crazy because even though it might be fun to be on your toes from it every once in a while you want nothing more than to see Harry actually kick some ass. And it was realistic in the sense that Harry had a very interesting power, and a power that was developed. Enough to facilitate in destroying Voldemort and making him a force to be reckoned with, but not so easily accessable that he was some god. He was a fighter like any other bloke or auror, but was just really good at it. No crazy 11 year old prodigy with the power to move mountains and twist the fabric of time.

    The only main problem i had at all with the fic was the lack magic fighting. Even while using his "special" power he used it to enhance his physical fighting most the time it seemed. I get it because most of the fighting seemed to be with vampires and werewolves. It just irked me that there weren't any real boundaries defined on what kind of magic they were resistant too, or how hard it would be to take them down using that. Thus lot's of physical fighting intermingled with low level magic.

    At the end the plot to take out Harry was really really cool in my opinion. I had yet to ever see someone do something similar. Completely original by my thinking. The magic involved idea rocked i think. My only problem concerning the magic in this fic was the lack of fighting scenes with it and lack of spells. It never felt to me like there was a lack of new spells to use because it seemed so spaced out that people really dueled magically for spells to wear out, but the use of Expelliarmus and such against Voldemort kinda sucked.

    So i would def highly recommend this story to anyone who thinking on trying to power through the enormous thing. If you can't stand angst it's probably not for you, but really its not to bad besides the 3/4th into part one through 1/3 or so of part 2. Other than that it's really whats normal id'e think in every day life and relationships.
     
  14. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    What do you work in?

    1 week off work for fanfiction...
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2007
  15. AllieWay

    AllieWay Backtraced

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    Very nice 5/5
     
  16. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

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    The "prologue" was excellent. It piqued my interest and was well written. The dubious idea (Vamp!Hermione) was done beilevably. Then I started on the first chapter and it was just a train wreck. Couldn't get into this at all.

    Did I mention the sex is totally unbelievable? Fantastical? The prologue's tone was gritty and dark, the first chapter a teenage fantasy tryst. You can't go jumping around like that, not without some proper transition. "Flashback" doesn't cover it.
     
  17. Lightemoguy2

    Lightemoguy2 Raptured to Hell

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    Oct 25, 2007
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    The sex was very sensual but for some reason, not that much of a turn-on for me. Strange.
     
  18. gadriam

    gadriam Second Year

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    Location:
    Sweden
    This is one of my all time favourites. The character developments are just so bloody great. The smutty parts are fun, overdone and quite silly, actually, but that's just a pesky little detail. The story is actually believable, in some insane way. The take on vampires and vampirism in general is brilliant, and if i'm ever forced to write a vamp fic, this will be my template. So there.

    g
     
  19. Lord Hoth

    Lord Hoth Squib

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2007
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    Location:
    My house
    Im pretty sure i read this awhile ago, thought it was ok and just kind lost intrest. i thought of it more as a Meh fic, but still a good read if i recall correctly just didnt have the extra Umpah.
     
  20. HP62442

    HP62442 Muggle

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2007
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    This fic was amazing, I loved it. I have reread it several times which is to say a lot as it is extremely long. 5/5