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WIP Four Deadly Secrets by OneirosTheWriter - M - RWBY

Discussion in 'Anime, Cartoons, and Comics' started by Jarik, Feb 9, 2015.

  1. OneirosTheWriter

    OneirosTheWriter Second Year

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2015
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    Perth
    Yeah, in hindsight, the Yang/Blake thread was not handled as well as it ought to have been.

    Edit: It was part of the original plan for the story, but looking back on it, the final result was not quite what I hoped for. Even keeping the relationship, it would have been much better to simply cut the chapter with them up on the lookout without taking it further at the time.
     
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2015
  2. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser Prestige DLP Supporter

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    i love girl's generation tbh
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    Alright, so I felt a little silly when I was opening this. I mean, the name of the fic rings all sorts of bells, doesn't it? So what I was expecting was some angsty drama about Ruby's mom, about how Blake was ashamed for kissing Sun or something...

    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

    I haven't enjoyed something this much in a long time, and I've liked nearly nothing this much in the rwby fandom.

    This is like... everything I ever wanted from fanfiction.

    Let's talk about the way the plot is intertwined so perfectly. All the stories are coming together at the moment, or so it seems. The reveals on the secrets are done in a way that we expected them as readers but were no less tense and exciting.

    Let's talk about Weiss (and probably Alice is just as good). Holy shit. Reading this, reading how Ruby and Pyrrha interact in this world, the way everyone has slightly different vocabulary and tonality... It's like Gossip Girl, with intense racism and magic powers. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

    And holy fucking shit do you have any idea how much my nostrils are twitching during some of the scenes? Literally the most difficulty resisting the urge to go get myself some 'sparkles' (and hit up all the platinum-blondes I know) I've had in quite some time. As the worst type of person, I'm tickled pink by the fact that it has a different name in Mistral.

    I think Zeelthor would be surprised that I am now firmly converted to the cult of scissoring, not because of him, but because the idea of these particular girls just tickle my fancy. Much more so than the canon variants.

    At any rate a very very easy 5/5 for me.

    Gonna have nightmares/really awesome dreams about Blake in my room with a chain scythe cleaning house.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 1, 2018
  3. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    This came recommended as one of the best in the fandom. I don't remember last such a major disappointment. The characters are way OOC, there are shitloads of uniteresting OCs and as-good-as OCs, the story tries to move twenty plots at the same time, managing none. Hell, the last half of it still describes the same fucking weekend.

    This story is an annoyance on top of annoyance, with Ruby's character (to a point) being a gem in a steaming pile of shit. Pun kinda intended.

    2/5, rounded down for the amount of page skipping I had to do.
     
  4. Anarchy

    Anarchy Fourth Champion DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, there's some good spots, but there's a ton of meh. The OC team that replaced CRDL is boring as fuck, and the reformed Malachite twins are super meh. Then, there's alice, who is just an OC copy of Weiss, except a super!lesbian. The whole high society thing is a laugh as well. I get that the whole thing is just a facade or whatever, but it was laughably implemented, and all the stuff involving cocaine is just eye-roll worthy.

    There, there's the fact that everyone acts 5 years older than they actually are, with a seemingly endless amount of real world experience. That sets up the "four deadly secrets", which in reality are just boring gimmicks that don't really hold up under any amount of scrutiny.
     
  5. nahte

    nahte Muggle

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    So is this and/or the Author dead? Oneiros hasn't done anything on FFN, or this Site in years as far as I can find.
    Great story though. Love the diea, just wish it kept going, I'd especially love to see people's reaction to how Ruby paid for Crescent Rose.