Exceeds Expectations. I like your other story better so I can't really give it a Outstanding.

Amazing detail though.

 

I think both the update, and the story in general is excellent. My only problem is that Harry's girls seem a little to sensitive when they're alone. Other than that good work.

 

Cheers.

Yes...they are, but only in private. If you noticed, when Wormtail was in the room, there wasn't much emotional stuff going on. They're still women, ones who've gone through a lot of bullshit. Nacissa had Lucius and Draco, and Bella had the Lestrange brothers and Azkaban. It will gradually decrease over the next few chapters.

This isn't enslavement i'm going for. Well, yes it is, but it's not going to be full of humiliations and buttsex and buttplugs like Oldwolf's stuff. It's a forced relationship, and forced loyalty. With sex. Err...dunno if that came out right.

 

Great story, still prefer Chimera though.

I wonder who else is going to join the group.

 

Fleur, Daphne, Pansy, Blaise, Tracey, Katie, Alicia, Angelina, a bunch of OCs and Muggles. I should think there'd be a lot...i'm going for him having a veritable army of women.

That's what he will use to take over the world.

"NO SEX UNLESS YOU AGREE TO JOINING HARRY"S ARMY, DEAR!"

That won't work on the Weasley family, though...i'm sure Arthur doesn't want to keep going at it with Molly.

 

I gotta say, I love this story. Incubus!Harry just rocks, and his harem (both current and future members) sounds like it's going to be something to be feared and admired.

It'll be interesting to see how you deal with Fleur and Bill's relationship Post-OotP; will Fleur be so turned-on by Incubus!Harry that she dumps the man she genuinely loved, or is she using Bill for some us-yet unknown reason? Perhaps her 'infatuation' with Bill is just a convenient means to slip past all of the guards Dumble's has set up in order to get closer to Harry, who is the real prize? In any case, I hope Fleur's family enjoys Harry's protection, at least until Gabrielle is old enough to join the fun; it would certainly be in this Harry's character to have such an adorable young girl be taken care of and protected until she was ripe for the plucking.

Hey, you've already got Harry boning one set of siblings...

Judging by your lineup, you're going to have Harry sent back to Hogwarts. A sex demon...most likely devoid of his harem 90% of the time...locked up in a castle with who-knows-how-many hot teenage witches. I can't see Harry not taking the opportunity to secure the allegience of the entire next generation of witches.

If nothing else, the Gryffindor Chaser babes should all be taken in the one sitting; It'd be a shame to break up such a finely-honed team.

For that matter, the Patil Twins should stick together, too.

Hmm...maybe Susan Bones's allegience would keep her Aunt alive through the Half-Blood Prince?

Or Harry could really give Cho a reason to wail?

...damn, I have too much time to think about this shit.

Anyway, keep up the good work on both of your stories, 'cause I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!


Cypher3au

 

Oh fine, then, just ruin the whole story! j/k

That, really, was a frighteningly good replica of the very-very-very general plan for the fic. Kudos. Yeah...i forgot to mention the Patil twins and Lavender. Throw in Bones, Abbot, Su Li and a few others.

With Su Li, i'm gonna have to use the same sort of physique, etc, that LT2000 used. Sera's fic was the first and only time i've seen Su Li in a fic, so not only has the description stuck, but it actually seems logical for some reason. I'll ask for permission from him once i get around to finishing the first ten chapters.

It's kinda irritating, really...it's been 40,000 words in 4 chapters, and all that's passed is a day and a half. Fuck.

 

Fantastic chapter, possibly your best yet IMO. To be honest, I don't mind the emotional stuff - in fact, I like it. I really don't want to read about a completely Stereotypically Evil Harry fucking mindless drones. It was great that Harry still can love, can still feel emotion, and I see it as perfectly normal that Bella and Narcissa are quite emotional and sensitive. They have just had their entire freaking lives turned around, all the bastards in their life killed, and they are now utterly completely devoted to whom they see as their saviour.

I'm not too hot on the new Muggle OC, seemed a little thrown in there. OCs in general are fine, as long as they have something to make them interesting.

Also, you have Harry treating Narcissa really well because she's drop-dead beautiful and all, which is great, because I find it hard seeing Narcissa being roughly handled. Ruins the whole pureblood princess thing. The only problem is that I'm seeing your awesome list for girls coming into Harry's harem (can't wait until Fleur, and if I'm lucky, Cho) but they are all apparently beautiful - so is Harry going to treat them all like Narcissa?

I haven't got a problem with that at all (humiliation and degradation is not my thing) but Harry is some dark incubus guy, and with Snape dead, Wormtail dead, Draco possibly dead (need to read through again, can't remember), it doesn't seem like Harry is going to have much choice in which to unleash his anger and whatnot. Although, you did bring up that bitch in Privet Drive that Harry screwed a few times, maybe she will do.

 

Oh 'Becka' isn't here to stay. She's gonna get it next chapter. The revel isn't over until they do actually revel, eh?

Nope, not all of them will be treated nicely. Bella is beautiful, and he finds her especially sexy, but he doesn't treat her like she's made of glass. It may come as a surprise to you, but Harry will NOT treat Fleur nicely. Well, once in a while he will be nice.

Surprise!

EDIT: I'm a bit wierded out...i got a review from some guy, checked my email a minute ago...he sent me torture ideas. Odd as hell, not all THAT gruesome, but the way his mind thinks...i'm both impressed and terrified. Check it out if you want.

 

I don't mind Narcissa being emotional at all, I just don't like seeing Bella lose her cool. I was really glad you had Harry telling her to keep her personality and not become a sub.

 

Wonderful story i rather like the way you make Bellatrix, Tonks and Narcissa, as well as Lestrange's deaths beautifully done. As was most of the touture sences.

 

Outstanding!

Can't wait for more on both your stories.

Well, what are you reading the posts for? Hop to it!

May you find water and shade this day,
zEROfrustration

 

My god this is awsome...

Please take your time with makeing the rest, don't rush it, this stuff is great and it'd be a crime to reduce the quality of such an amazing fic.

 

Looking very good must say, was the first story i ever read on ficwad so thanks for showing me that site aswell. Looking forward to more.

 

Honestly, i'm flattered by the way this fic has been recieved. When i started it, and all the way until i began writing the last chapter, it was jsut a recreational thing. Chimera was my focus, and this just happened. The fact that this many people like the fic and follow it is humbling.

I haven't begun writing Chapter 5 yet, but it will happen soon. I hope to be done with Chimera tonight, so that i can start on Incubus tomorrow. I've also taken no two other one-shots as future projects, but these will be extremely long.

One is the Identity challenge posted by Amerision, which i hope to amke between 40,000 and 50,000 wods long. I realize it will be a lot to read, but i also know that if i attempt to make it a multi-chaptered fic, i will lose focus on Chimera.

The second is something along the lines of Splinter Cell, the stealth/action game. It features Unspeakable!Harry in the beginning of his 6th Year, and the fic should eb about 20,000 words in length, same reasoning as above. The whole fic will be about an attack on the Hogwarts Express, and Harry's one-man attempt to recover control of the train from the attacking Death Eaters. It should involve a lot of magic and stealth. Some of you might not like the fact that a pistol and knife will also be featured in this fic, though the pistol will be used VERY rarely.

Once again, thanks for your comments. It really is great to know that people follow your fic and like it.

 

This is pretty well written, good grammar, spelling and punctuation, but at the rate its going and the amount of ass Harry's getting I'm reminded of that ole goody 'Master Assassin' by Stained-Future (insert sarcasm here) without the whole medical descriptions of the sex.

Anyway, while this seems off, your other one is pretty well done. Not trying to offend you here with the whole Stained-Future reference.

 

Harry getting a lot of pussy doesn't automatically like the story to stained-underwear. There are plenty of Harry/Harem fics out there, and this is easily among the better ones. He killed both Draco and Snape, can't ask for much more than that. Actually, I can. Harry/Cho smut please.

 

A truly inspiring fic, with some nice eroticism.
I truly enjoyed this story and found it very thrilling.

Good smut and just enough sadism to keep me happy.
I needed a good cold shower after just to calm myself .

Thanks for sharing Yarrgh!

Litha

 

Thanks, Sera, Litha...you picked my mood up. After reading what 'noobus' had to say, as i have affectionately given him a nickname for generalizing, I felt irritated. Now i'm all good again ^_^.

Noobus, dear: Please understand that likening an author's fic to Stained Future's work is something of an insult. Maybe you didn't mean it. I put a lot of effort into writing this, so having it compared to something that was most likely regurgitated within a few minutes of popping Ecstasy is not good for:

1) My ego
2) The pace at which i update
3) My overall morale

England lost in the World Cup today...so i already feel like shit. >_< So...next time, do be the slightest bit less harsh when you make a comparison. Go ahead and blast it, but some comparisons go beyond the pale

And in any case...this has always been a Porn-Without-Plot fic. This is just smut and violence...no huge storyline. There is a slight storyline, but its rather typical...DarkLord!Harry, if you haven't figured it out.