Title: Harry and The Magic Factory
Author: DisobedienceWriter
Rating: T
Genre: Humor/Adventure
DLP: Alternates
Pairing: Neville/Luna
Status: WIP
Summary:AU. Harry Potter defeats Voldemort as an infant…but then disappears. A year later, Potter Emporiums spring up throughout the magical world. No one knows how or why until 11 invitations fly out into the world years later.
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So, a Harry Potter/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For that it starts as a 5 O' 5, but it did not do it as well as it could have. Id est, Harry is not as capricious as he should be, house elfs are called Oompahs for no other reason than the author wants to be like the book, so some points off. It veers off from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory later and gets idealistic, but I did not find it overly annoying. The writing and grammar are good as well. 4/5

 

This is bad, very bad.

1/5

 

I've been following this for quite a while. In a way, this is similar to the author's other two fics - super!Harry fixing up the world and everyone living happily ever after. Not much conflict, but solid writing style and the air of mystery (especially in the first chapters) kept my interest rather well.

Oh, and this isn't exactly a crossover with Chocolate Factory; she just took an idea or two and used it in her HP fic.

Overall, not bad for a light read. Some more conflict and less idealism wouldn't hurt it, but even as it is, it's much better than her previous fic (which is leaps and bounds above her first one). If nothing else, it's nice to see the author constantly improving her skills, even if her ideas, themes and style remained the same.

 

How could you even put such travesty for us to judge? I've seen this story before and couldn't continue reading after the second chapter. This story is very boring and not funny at all.
1/5

 

No. Just.... no. I read the first chapter, couldn't get farther.
1/5

 

Overnight, the Wizarding World changed. Hundreds of years of stagnation was upended.


Stupid.

I got half way through the first chapter before i couldn't take anymore of the perfect sunshine and daisy world with no problems or plot.

1/5

 

Hmmm. Complete fail.

 

I've been following this one from the intriguing and curious start. At first it really was a Willy Wonka type fusion sort of fic. Since then the plot has unraveled and it is another godlike!Harry combating injustice and cruelty throughout the wizarding world. Handled in a way that's kept me very interested. Updated frequently enough that I barely have to re-read the chapter before if at all. Plenty of cliches but none that bother me significantly.

I'm honestly enjoying the fic quite a bit and I'd rate it 4/5.

But I'd never have sent this fic through the DLP review system. It just... doesn't fit.

I'm saying this for anyone curious before this thread gets inevitably deleted, that it's not as bad as "complete fail" makes it sound, as it's more like "complete fail at DLP."

 

A weird enough twist to keep me reading, but only just. Seems to be getting better and I'm looking forward to the conflict between Harry and the Ministry/Dumbledore.

3/5 with a possibility of 4/5 later on.

 

It would be a good humour fic, but the author attempts to actually be serious with it...fail from that aspect.

Still, it had a solid writing style and it wasn't actually that bad a way to waste half an hour.

 

I don't think it was full of fail, but then again I like some of the stories that the rest of DLP hated. It was pretty amusing and I enjoyed it as much as the next fic. Their's not much good in the fanficton world these days and I take what I can get. 4/5