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Abandoned Harry Potter: Abjuration by Surarrin - T - Dresden Files

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Jon, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Title: Harry Potter : Abjuration
    Author: Surarrin
    Rating: T
    Genre: Action/Adventure/Supernatural
    DLP Category: The Alternates
    Pairing: ~
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 85,755
    Updated: March 1, 2010
    Published: April 29, 2007
    Status: Abandoned


    Summary: Whether Dumbledore's man, or The White Court's Pet Wizard, Harry Potter can never escape outside control. From being the BoyWhoLived, to The White Court's errand boy everything is always out of his control. [HPxDresden Crossover]

    Link: Chapter One



    Checked by Minion, January 5, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2013
  2. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    Great start. Grammar was good with only one spelling mistake (pessimestic) that I noticed. This story has promise. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.
     
  3. Snarf

    Snarf Squanchin' Party Bro! ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I agree with Knothead. Great story, continue the good work and it will be above and beyond some of these other stories on this sight. Currently 5/5.:)
     
  4. the-caitiff

    the-caitiff Death Eater

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    Well I stuck it on my alert list so I'll give a proper review after three chapters.

    For now... I haven't read the Dresden Files but this vaguely makes me consider looking it up. It's a good story, well written and I like the background descriptions.

    A few times we see Harry just raising his hand to put up a wandless shield... Where did this come from? And how did he cross over into Dresden-verse (or whatever you call it), was it because he followed the girl into the woods and she did some kind of fae woojiness we didn't see? And when did Harry become a clubbing people watcher?

    That's why I give stories a couple chapters to really start up. Somethings get explained as backstory in later chapters, to add an air of mystique, and the first glance might make you think "who is this person and what does he have to do with Harry Potter?" So keep up the good work and I'll scrape up a star rating in a few chapters.
     
  5. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    Dammit, I missed one? >_<

    I explain a fair bit of it the next chapter, I just didn't feel like starting with Harry holding a smoking gun at where Voldemort's head used to be, not literally. ;)
     
  6. The Dark Lord Squash

    The Dark Lord Squash Denarii Host

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    I liked it so far, but as I am only on Dresden Book 2 it was confusing. The grammar was good, and the plot from what little I have seen seems very good. It also seems that you have this mapped out which is always good. For the actually chapter I would say 4/5, but for the story I am going with the-Caitiff and waiting for more chapters.
     
  7. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    I'd be worried about you not understanding, but you're supposed to be confused, just like Harry is. ^_^
     
  8. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    Great story. Love it so far. An interesting read, for one chapter. But no judgement yet. So:

    MOAR!!
     
  9. Spacks

    Spacks Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Jon sucks at dota.

    Luckily he compensates by being a fantastic author. 5/5 biatch.
     
  10. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    EXCELLENT story! I've been keeping up with it in the 'Works by Author' Section
    4.8/5
     
  11. Ryuugi Shi

    Ryuugi Shi Hierarch

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    Twas' awesomesause.

    Seriously though, nice update (even though I've seen most of it before). The parts you added were good, too.

    Sorry I can't give a more intelligent review, but it's late, and I'm tired.

    Though, I am curious as to when we'll see...May, was it? The sidhe again.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2008
  12. Robo Jesus

    Robo Jesus High Inquisitor

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    Beautiful. And long awaited. Thanks Jon. :)
     
  13. TehLicha

    TehLicha First Year

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    I don't believe it. Abjuration has updated O.O I thought this was abandoned a loooong time ago.

    Excellent chapter.
     
  14. Stormey

    Stormey Groundskeeper

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    Nice Chapter.
    To be truthful, I forgot completely about this fic.
    With all these HP/Dresden crossovers around now a days, it is hard to find, ones that actually continue. I hope you do continue this fic, hopefully the next chapters will not take as long as this one did.
    Good job.
     
  15. eXcalite

    eXcalite Seventh Year

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    Didn't you post parts of this before? If not all? This all seemed very familiar to me and I definitely remember the mold demons.
    The only glaring mistake I noticed is that you kept calling Justine Justice.
     
  16. Alratan

    Alratan First Year

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    Edit: never mind
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2008
  17. shh

    shh Squib

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    Yeah I think I read all of that before, sort of fucked it up for me because I kept checking previous chapters to see if that hadn't already happened.
     
  18. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    There is atleast 5k that you haven't read. :\ Now don't bitch or I'll take another six months to release the already finished chapter six.
     
  19. Calen

    Calen Fourth Year

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    Man can't help but feel sorry for Beatrice. The vamps have obviously fucked her mentally at least. Is she a maid or a slave? Lol, Harry is so pussy whipped, he should just hurry up and bend over so all the male vamps and females with strap-on can use him and be done with it.
     
  20. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Beatrice is a slut and is undeserving of the awesomeness that is Harry. Harry/Lara or Harry/Inari please.

    Nice story, you've got a good amount of the characterization down pat, but I'm still not feeling comfortable with Lara. Unless her being nice and stuff is all a ploy, it seems really out of character for her. Looking forward to seeing more of Dresden obviously, and Thomas is as brilliant as always.

    I'm interested to see what you're going to do with Lord Raith and such. If it's all pre Blood Rites it could make for some awesome majoo.
     
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