I am enjoying it so far but am finding it extremely hard to read in one go like I normally would.
3.5/5

 

I enjoyed the story well enough in the beginning but as it goes on it does seem to only get more confusing. To a degree I think the author forgets that the readers can be privy to more information then Harry himself knows, and just to confuse Harry does not mean the author has to confuse their readers as well.

I agree with a lot of other reviews in that most the Oc's seem forced and hollow. Barely stepping in for a single scene before leaving, I would almost say the story be better with just Harry and Thana, most the other gods seem like clutter in the story and have yet to truely serve much of a purpose. The fact the readers know so little about each the incarnate's that the Author feels compelled to explain who they are at the end the chapter is a clue to how weak they are portrayed.

Still it is not a bad story and the quotes are perhaps my favorite part. Often hitting on some hidden truth or fact about the Harry Potter series that not many point out. The one on blood purity and how all spells corrupt are my two favorites.

More then anything I suppose I have to fight hte urge to ignore updates to this story until it is marked complete. It is a complicated piece of work and with the way the author reveals very little information at a time I often have trouble remembering what is going on between updates with my tendency to read several other stories inbetween them.

 

Readable, but nothing great. As has been said, the style of the writing is very disjointed. It tends to focus on inner monologue and Harry's thoughts, and it does so at the expense of the scenes that are occurring. When reading, we're more reading a story about Harry's emotional woes than something with any real plot or substance.

2/5

 

I read this when it first came out and have been following it. I did enjoy it a lot in the beginning but as it goes on there is more confusion and the OCs play a big part in some scheme none of it can see. It could defenitly be better but I grant it a 9/10 because someone is finally going on with the idea of Harry and Death being in touch.

 

I have to say I quite like this story. I like being kept in the dark when it comes to plot, because it keeps me thinking, and trying to figure everything out. When the plot is laid out for me, I will usually quickly lose interest because instead of "What will happen next?" it's more "Ok when does this "ingenious" plan of the author's come into play?".

Also the author has done their homework, and has a good response for having death be female, when normally death is male. I think it was in the A/N for Ch. 17. Fast updates are a plus, and I also think it is getting better as it goes along (Ch. 19 was pretty good.). I can also agree that the characters need a bit more depth than a one time appearance, but since this is apparently going to be a series, I hope this changes.

For me to be able to actually get through it, without having to slap it in Word and run a spell check just to make it readable, is a big plus for me. Considering that most of the stories I've been running into lately that look good, turn out to be written by a 7 year old.

Mostly good, nothing that I'd be majorly upset about, if it was discontinued, but a good read. Some character development will hopefully occur in the second story which will improve the series' quality.

Overall I'll give it a 5/5 since I'd round up anyway.

 

Incarnations of Immortality started to fail right after the first book, and this one too starts to flag pretty soon after the start. Like people have said before, the scenes feel disconnected -- there is little hint of any future coherence that a reader usually looks for. I like characterizations over plot, myself -- and some writers choose to temporarily sacrifice one for the other -- but this story as it stands has no plot and what characterization it does have just doesn't make up for the lack.

Hell, at least it doesn't burn the mind; 2.75/5 just for that.

 

I too savor a sense of uncertainty, but this story has left the land of "What will happen next?" for the intolerable realms of "What's going on here?" and "Wait, how did we get here?"

In short:

"What we have here, is a failure to communicate."

1/5

 

Failure to communicate...gotta remember that...no jumping around I'm assuming?

So basically, most of the complaints is being left in the dark for far too long...and one about characterization that WILL change, because yeah, no solid characters = crappy story.

Never read the Immortality series actually...I think I might have picked up a book years ago but it was pretty long winded so I put it down and never bothered with it again.

The Incarnates came from mythology that I stumbled upon while writing Olympus...Thanatos is the true 'god of death' while Hades is just the ruler of the dead. Thanatos is described as being the 'personification of death' and there you have it, the beginning.

It's inevitable there to be some parallels since mythology doesn't really...change but I try not to copy.

On that note, does anyone know if Harry being a superhero (with his magic) has been done before?

 

There are some perfectly horrid HP/X-Men crossovers out there.

edit: I'm not reviewing your newest chapter because I'm waiting until the story is finished before reading it.

 

Yeah, I know =/

But I didn't mean a crossover, I was basically thinking that through Dudley, Harry gets his first glimpse of cartoons after his incident with apparating to the school roof.

Thinks that's his super power, gets in touch with a comic book writer in London and is, of course, confused as hell when Aurors stop by trying to get him to stop using magic in front of Muggles.

Do it, or don't do it?

Edit: Don't care, review when you feel like it. It'll be done soon and , if I dare say so myself, plenty of questions are answered and some left for the next book.

 

Ah, well, that setup has been used before in HP (and other fandoms).

There are at least two fics out there that have HP inspired by the Star Wars films and learning to use his magic like a Jedi. Robo Jesus, one of our own authors was looking at trying something similar as well though I don't know whether that ever got off the ground.

Beyond the hook your idea seems distinctly different and worthwhile developing.

If you want to use a real English comic book writer who covered super heroes, then they don't come much bigger than Alan Moore. He's responsible for a few comics that were turned into films: From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, V for Vendetta and Watchmen.

 

Does Harry really go around calling himself Asmodeus (or whatever)?

Isn't renaming characters (Harry) against Potter Law? Even if it isn't a PL, it's insta fail.

I actually remember this story I started reading awhile ago that looked good at first, but then Harry went to Gringotts (post OotP) and had Sirius will read, where he gets emancipated and renamed (IIRC) Seraph Orion Black. From there on in the story, Harry is Seraph. OMFG GTFO MegaEpic!Fail.

Renaming Harry = fail. Without exception.

 

Er, what?
In Olympus, yeah, his mother gets him named something different because a Greek named Harry? Getting renamed in the middle of the story might be an "epic fail" but when you got an "adopted at the age of four" story, it makes more sense.
And Seraph is a shitty name that sounds like something a Gary Stu would get stuck with.
THAT is what makes that story an epic fail.

 

At first, I sort of liked it, but by the third chapter I only tolerated it. Now, at the eighth chapter, I cannot read any further.

Not only is Thanatos a total fucking bitch, which pretty much makes me wonder how the fuck the romance will ever happen, but Harry is completely fucking submissive to her and all the shit she does, all because she was his first friend. No...I hate that shit.

But the thing that REALLY pissed me off, and also the cause of me hitting the big red X is the Troll scene with Hermione. At first I was like 'Fuck yeah, an author that graphically describes what Hermione should have gotten in the books' and I had, in a way, thought it had redeemed the story alot. But than I realized what it really was. I don't want to read about Harry saving someone in the first place unless he kills several death eaters in the process, but when I have to listen to his 'heroic, helpless thoughts' while he saves that motherfucking beaver who was only a bitch to him I suddenly get a deep urge to choke a bitch, mainly the author.

And Asmodeus isn't? Fangirls and the like always give their super-harry complex mysterious 'cool' names....one story even used Asmodeus exactly, I believe.

The day I see a story where Harry is renamed John or something normal for once shit I'll shit a brick.

​

 

Coming right up.

 

As for the Harry Super hero idea, I can't really say I remember any of them that went the distance. I do remember one where Harry was like Luna's boy friend and met the Green Arrow and decided to form a super hero group with Hermonie Ron and luna, based soley on what their magic could do. The name of the fic escapes me though, and it was not completed in any case.

I also have to agree on the renaming Harry idea is pretty bad, actualy renaming any cannon character is often trouble. Nothing worse then going 'huh' or what at trying to figure who the author is talking about now. It is kind of funny how OOC a character can be and still be accepted, especialy if there is some back story to back it up. But the minute an author changes a characters name it is almost like something special was torn from the character. This is the most common perhaps in Ranma 1/2 fanfiction, I never liked a story where Ranma's first name changed.

There are some exceptions I suppose, usualy in the way that others may call the main character like Harry by an other name, but the author and the character himself still refers to themself by their orginal name in their thoughts. This situation often happens in cases where they might have to use a false name like in time travel.

 

All I have to say is:
I'm sorry, I gave him a cool name despite the story not being super!Harry and not from completely out of my ass either. You have my sincerest apologies, I shall not commit such a travesty again.

Now for the others...people change. Harry grows up, Thana stabilises and blah blah blah. If you wanna blame someone about Harry's inner Gryffindor, blame Rowling who made him such a trusting fuck in the first place. Tri-Wizard and Ron, anyone? He changed enough from canon to be firmly a snake but give me time to work on other stuff, geez.

And you hate Hermione. Got it.

 

Renaming harry is always a wierd thing to read unless its some kind of derivation like 'Harold' or 'Hadyn' or something. And even then it's kind of annoying, despite the fact that I have done the same thing.

Looking for a name with meaning when renaming him is also a big thing. I guess we have taste. (*grins). Asmodius... that author does not have much taste. Sounds like someone took a tasteful shit.

 

Nah, I didn't make up the name. It's a demon that has plenty of name spellings that exists in psuedo-Judaism/Christian lore, mostly its used in reference to mystical snakes. Asmodaios is the actual Grecian spelling of it, Asmodeus is the original..Jewish I believe.
I do my homework! Like it, or hate it, you can't say I didn't.

 

You are the first person I've ever seen besides me who actually knew the origin of that name...