Title: Harry Potter and the Alchemist's Secret
Author: Avitus (Formerly FallenLegacy)
Rating: T (PG-13)
Genre: Action/Adventure/Supernatural
Pairing: None
Status: WIP
Summary: Harry's eyes are opened to the world around him by the last person imaginable. A surprise visit from a reclusive Alchemist sends Harry on a quest with the knowledge of the Alchemist's Secret. New Magics, and Mentor!Snape
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2472416/1/

I just realised I haven't posted links to my other stories...sigh...I guess i'm just asking to have my ego beaten down here. I think its pretty good, somewhat original, although I do fall into cliche quite a bit (IMHO)..anyways this one was an experiment with a different writing style..i think.. lol.

 

Read it. Pretty interesting & original, but not without flaws.

I didn't like that whole mentor!Snape thing. Interaction between Snape and Harry is lacking, it's poorly explained why exactly would Harry invite Snape along on a 1000 years long trip, instead of, let's say, Hermione. Their whole relationship is too vague for my liking.

I liked the part where Harry teaches at Hogwarts. Hope you extend it a bit.
I also liked all the new magic implemented here, it's always good to expand the canon a bit.

I'll keep reading it, but I still prefer Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Trials. I hope you update that story too (or at least open a discussion about it here at DLP).

 

I kinda liked it.

The whole travel back in time for a millennium thing is nice. It's pretty original. I'll be waiting for an update.

 

I like it. I normally hate Mentor!Snape stories, but Snape is much more canon than normal in fics where he's on good terms with Harry. Hope you update again soon.

 

Is he? That kinda is the whole problem here. Relationship between Harry and Snape should have been a big issue here, but it's hardly ever mentioned.

 

It seems i must agree with Dayton that this fic seems quite original, though it is seriously rushed going back to the founders time is rearly done well i think this maybe the exception other then Ravens EoH.

 

I dunno, I felt he was still the same sarcastic, slightly jealous, arrogant, asshole he always is, it's just he seemed to enjoy verbal spats with Harry. But you are right, he didn't make the friendship out to seem like as big a deal as you would think.

 

Man This Mentor!snape Thing Is So Bitchy Otherwise Good Time Waster

 

Haroon, even though necroposting is allowed in the Library, it is expected that you will at least contribute something more meaningful than a one-line comment along the lines of "this was good". I strongly suggest you read the forum rules and just hang around without posting for a while, because honestly, the recent flood of your necroposts is starting to annoy people.

 

Too many page breaks.

Also:

A good, concise section to give you a feel for the type of story. And by type, I mean the sort where reading a book once gives wizards balls of steel and power over 9000.

Besides, the rating (before my contribution) is enough to get this shit knocked out of the library.

 

And the OC in the second chapter has an annoying fucking accent. Somehow the story has an overall feel of pointlessness, which perhaps comes with a story about training. I will say I admire Avitus's writing style though, pity he hasn't been writing lately.

 

Why anyone still reads this story is getting beyond me, the story seems to drag on, doesn't have...cohesion I guess...but then thats just me...it has gotten to involved with the training and thats it, i couldn't drag through more of it.