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Abandoned Harry Potter and the Boy Who Lived by The Santi - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by ulkser, Sep 11, 2009.

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  1. Necrule Paen

    Necrule Paen DLP Elite DLP Supporter

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    So did Calypso tell her father about the unforgivable, and if not was he able to infer Harry's use of it during the ambush?

    My guess about why that ward did not work? Psychological block. Harry subconsciously does not want to block a means to escape, paranoid as he is. This ambush does not help matters on that front.

    It appears that Harry had some control over the fires at the end there. Since Aqua Eructo helped Harry's control with other water spells does Harry's control over fire spells suggest that he has been working on Fiendfyre?
     
  2. thebrute7

    thebrute7 High Inquisitor

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    Doubtful. I find it hard to believe that, in full knowledge of the fact he cannot control Aqua Eructo, he would attempt to cast Fiendfyre at this time. Later almost certainly.
     
  3. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    What?


    Ok, now onto the chapter itself. It was good, I, suppose, despite being like two scenes and some narration.
    I always supported that Calypso was a selfish bitch but goddamn! Harry's personal information in exchange for a place in the delegation? Really? That's a new low, even for her.
    Nice foreplay to the massive orgy that will hopefully be the Triwizard Tournament.
     
  4. Naja

    Naja Fourth Year

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    I'm not certain what to make of Romulus at the moment, he's gone from seemingly caring about Calypso and even expressing a little respect for Harry to setting them up for an ambush.

    Very curious to see what could motivate him to take such an action.
     
  5. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Romulus is obviously time-Traveler!Harry who sent himself back in time to shape Harry to become what he must. Tests and obstacles are part of the plan.

    Obviously.
     
  6. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    That doesn't sound like a terrible plot bunny, honestly.. there would be a shade of pointlessness in it, however.
     
  7. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Good update overall, and I'm not unhappy to see another fight scene thrown into the mix. I also like the fallback - that it marks the moment they become an acknowledged force at Durmstrang. The development between Calypso and her father is excellent.

    That said, the writing isn't very polished, and this is most obvious in the fight scene, which I feel is only average in quality. Although I feel we get a pretty good idea of what's going on, the flow and detail of it is slightly off. The number, position and condition of the attackers is often unclear and they're not individually distinguishable. Sometimes the duel feels like it's in roleplay mode, as if opponents were taking turns in throwing spells at each other. The curses being sent at them are too often generic and unnamed. The good parts include things like Harry disillusioning the log and banishing it at attackers.
    None of these are outright errors, but I find the term "round of spells" to be unfortunate. The fact that the writing is repetious is acknowledged in the serial use of "another".

    Not sure if this is an error, or if dragon lung is an illness, but you may mean dragon pox...

    Good questions, though it's not that hard to come up with possibilities. His goals have changed quite a lot. He may or may not be aware of Voldemort's whereabouts, but in canon former Death Eaters were becoming agitated at the possibility of his return. Presumably he isn't trying to marry off his daughter anymore; he also can't quite control her or Harry, but he must be aware of their potential. Whether or not the Dark Lord would be interested in them, there are good reasons for him to try to gauge their ability and progress, keeping a level of control over them.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2011
  8. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I'm the Dragon Lung.
     
  9. Rakkety Tam

    Rakkety Tam High Inquisitor

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    It wasn't her final report though. She gave another in exchange for a trip to Hogwarts. Her father even left a veiled threat that he might expose exactly how many secrets that she had kept from Harry if it came down to it in this update. The phoenix not trusting her was a sign of these secrets as well.

    I'd like to say a lot more about this chapter. Sadly, I'm surrounded by papers and books doing research of the mathematical variety right now. I don't have time. I didn't honestly have time to read it, but I did anyway. Santi's story managed to drag me away from work for a bit.
     
  10. sirius009

    sirius009 Minister of Magic

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    Romulus' actions in this update were kind of disturbing; before this update we see a sadistic wizard, but one that legitimately cares about Calypso, however, now we see a Romulus who cares about the good of his family over all else (isn't Calypso his last remaining family member?) who seems openly hostile towards Harry (going so far as to call him a half-blood); my question is did we finally see the real Romulus? Or did we see a angry Romulus who is upset at his daughter and let his anger get the best of him?
     
  11. Coelacanth

    Coelacanth Denarii Host

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    Or he has a clone of himself, al a The Prestige.

    I was glad to see a fight, but it read weird. It was hard to keep track of everything was going on. The snip that we just got didn't feel as if it was polished very well. It needs more work.
     
  12. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I thought the fight was pretty good myself. I think it's sort of neat that it can be difficult to follow what exactly is going on -- it adds to the hectic feeling of the fight. That said though i didn't find it overly difficult to keep track of what was going on. I often find myself bored reading other fights that are highly praised however, so perhaps this is just more up my alley.
     
  13. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    I actually think nothing has changed for Romulus at all. Keep in mind that he IS, or was, a Voldemort supporter. Karkaroff, and most likely the Malfoys know he exists. What's gonna happen when Voldie comes back? If Romulus is, at all, aware of what's coming he might be taking actions to distance himself from his daughter, so she won't do something stupid. Despite Calypso being who she is, her main weakness to her common sense, these days, seems to be her connection to those she cares about.

    I retain that all of this is Romulus's way of somehow redeeming, or just saving, his family. He's raised his daughter to be strong and independent, found her a possible future husband that, socially, is beyond reproach, and can protect her, as well as a family of good pedigree, not to mention very supporting. Now, really, all that's left is to cut off the old dessicated branch to let the new survive and grow...

    Least that's how I see it.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2011
  14. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    That's a really interesting view on it, but I don't think he's self-sacrificing enough to do that.
     
  15. Necrule Paen

    Necrule Paen DLP Elite DLP Supporter

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    Romulus is hedging his bets and is upset that Calypso is not.
     
  16. Nargles

    Nargles Seventh Year

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    Personally, I liked the fight scene. The fact that we don't really know who's out for the count is something that illustrates the confusion that was happening at the time.

    Maybe it's just me, but I'm getting really sick of all the secrecy with Calypso. How many secrets could she possibly have?

    Now, I know that many people have a lot of Calypso hate going on, but it seems to me that's she's really loyal to Harry. We had an inkling of what she was thinking during her argument with her father, and we see that she really only cares about impressing and measuring up to Harry now. But, maybe it's just me because I'm a shameless fan of Harry/Calypso.

    Also, the flame whip was :awesome
    It has always been one of my favorite spells, along with Fienfyre, and the Unforgivables.


    EDIT: You know those twins? I think one of them was actually male in the last update. Just pointing that out.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2011
  17. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I also like Calypso fairly well. Far better than I ever like most OCs and far better than I often like canon characters. Though yes, she does have a lot of secrets it seems -- I'd expect her to start thinking soon about how Harry is going to react to find out she's been keeping things about him from him.

    That said I think she's a good character and I hope they continue to interact in a mostly positive manner. I actually didn't realize there was more than a minor amount of Calypso hate out there. Kira hate, sure.
     
  18. SorrySight

    SorrySight First Year

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    I think it was a bit excessive to use the cruciatus curse. It may be an extroadinarily effective deterrant, but it is also illegal and unforgivable. In an environment such as the school's - all pure-blood students; most well connected - it would only take one letter home to start some pretty major problems.


    Other than that I love the story and hope you continue.

    i.e. Please continue writing Almighty God-King Santi, your story is the one bright spark in my soul crushingly dreary existence.
     
  19. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Despite the irritatingly sappy pleading to "Almighty God-King Santi," you do have a point SorrySight. I've given some thought to the easy use of the Unforgivables in this story and I can't quite decide where I stand. On one hand, you're right -- not only have they done something that is presumably highly illegal but it doesn't seem like it would be that hard to prove it (injuries recorded by the Medi-witch, Veritaserum, looking at what spells the wand cast last, pensieves, etc. if such things exist in this story).

    On the other hand they were encouraged to cast them in a school setting. Now perhaps that isn't well known outside of the school, but Harry probably isn't the only student there from a family that would mind that sort of thing, and word travels. Death Eaters in canon were throwing unforgivables out left and right. Canon!Harry was using the Imperius for goodness sake. So while I see your point, I can also see how perhaps we are encouraged to treat the rule about the stupid things as almost... well, like a speed limit. It's illegal to speed, sure, but it's sort of accepted that people are going to do it and get away with it.

    But I don't know. I've never really liked how the unforgivables were handled in canon or most fanfiction. So far I think Santi is doing a pretty good job but in the case of the Cruciatus I really find myself sort of not thinking about it too much. After all the Cruciatus isn't dark in the same way that a dark cutting curse is dark (or at least I don't think so). The intent behind it is to cause pain and nothing else.

    /end ramble. Not sure how much of that made sense. I need to get to bed. o_O
     
  20. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, I have to admit that I was a tad unsure about the Cruciatus as well. But I doubt that was a mistake my Santi, and I'm sure there's ample reasoning behind it's use. It definitely works well as character progression.

    There's enough plausible deniability around at the very least.
     
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