Agreed with most of the replies in that the whole "hide the Voldemort connection" thing isn't inherently a flaw - not at all. It's now a 'tool' to be used in the future, presumably for character development.

However, I confess to being slightly annoyed by it, if only because just after we hear Dumbledore telling Nathan not to mention Voldemort, we get an absolutely great scene to reveal it after all. Here's an alternate logical progression that would have fit rather decently, IMO:

1. Dumbledore tells Nathan not to tell Harry about Voldemort's possession - that Nathan and Harry's parents have decided that they want to tell him on their own terms.
2. James/Lily see that Harry is skipping a year of Dark Arts.
3. This actually convinces them that they need to reveal the Voldemort link.

Had Harry seemed totally normal in terms of his Dark Arts interest, they might have saved it for when he was older. But now they might want to start asking him the difficult questions - "What did Quirrell teach you? We think it's important because he wasn't just acting for himself, he was possessed by Voldemort himself." etc., etc. Revealing the ghost behind the curtain would make it easier for them to explain the importance of not idolizing certain bits of spellcraft or philosophy that Voldemort conveyed to Harry. And I think they would suspect Voldemort of trying to pump Harry full of nasty supremacist rhetoric or nasty spells.

But again, the way it ended up isn't actually wrong - I just hope (and anticipate) that the actual reveal will be at similarly elegant opportunity.

 

I think it's perfectly obvious why they don't want Harry to know that Quirrell was possessed by Voldemort.

Firstly, they don't want Harry to doubt his choices or think he's to blame for what happened to his brother.

Secondly, they are simply scared. Harry received private tutoring from Voldemort and now he's displaying both interest and extreme talent in the Dark Arts. Would you tell to your son that his favourite teacher was actually the Dark Lord in disguise? They don't know how Harry would react if they told him and so they are taking the safe option.

 

Well, they had a plenty of time to do that. Now they've virtually eliminated their ability to do so without extreme suspicion.

Before the grades came:

James & Lily: Your former tutor turned out to be possessed by Voldemort. We're still going to let you go to Durmstrang and continue with your studies, but that's why your brother was hurt.

Harry: *Sniffle-sniffle. Maybe some baww, moves on with life.*

After the grades came and Lily & James threw a shit fit over his advancement:

James & Lily: Your former tutor turned out to be possessed by Voldemort. We're still going to let you go to Durmstrang and continue with your studies, but that's why your brother was hurt.

Harry: You're just making shit up to try to keep me from reaching my full potential! *Harry quits trusting them*

 

okay a lot of people simply complained about me always complaining in my replies. I will say it once again that I rarely post just to say "UPDATE PLX" or to tell people of spelling mistakes. I always review in order to tell people flaws in their flow of events. I have read numerous stories on this site and other sites where I loved the story and simply never wrote a review because I couldn't find something to criticize. Renegade Cause had some stuff I wanted to criticize at first but when I started reading it, it was already fairly far along and the later chapters were better so I held off. Denarian series got a near total pass on criticism except for the scene where Voldemort gets the elder wand. I am sorry but I simply refuse to write "Update PLX" or some variation of it in order to raise my post count. I will only post when I have something I need to say.

Now onto what I need to say.

I just found it slightly stupid that Dumbledore realizes his error in keeping Nathan's condition from Harry when Harry goes off the wall attacking Hogwarts students. Then Dumbledore decides to keep something else from him immediatly after. Dumbledore didn't even allow his first mistake to fade from his memory before he went and made the same mistake again. That is without even getting into the fact that Harry gave up on figuring out why his favorite teacher went after the stone in no time flat and just shrugged it off as greed.

Also some people made the argument that you wouldn't tell a 11 year old your getting manipulated by a dark wizard. Wtf?!? you wouldn't? He is going to Durmstrang and you have no idea where it is. Wouldn't you sit your kid down and tell him what happened so he doesn't potentially keep getting manipulated?!?! I mean as far as Harry's parents know Voldemort might have manipulated Harry to go to Durmstrang so why wouldn't they tell Harry to watch out for Dark Wizards manipulating him like Quirrell did.

Harry's parents sat their when he got his grades shooting him suspicious looks since he did well in the Dark Arts. This stories characters are starting too look so two dimensional that I am surprised one of them didn't start spouting off about how he was going to become a Dark Wizard.

Dumbledore or Harry's parents should have sat down and discussed with Harry how he was potentially manipulated and try to ensure he stays alert so he doesn't get manipulated anymore at Durmstrang. That makes even more sense after finding out he skipped a grade in Dark Arts. They didn't even TRY to get Harry's side of the story they just started acting like Harry is the apprentice to Voldemort and their son is already lost.

Even if you look at it from a purely familial point of view his parents should have sat both kids down and had a talk about it. They know Harry and Ron don't get along so getting whatever happened out in the open could stop a potential disaster. Since Ron would most likely say mean thing about Harry and since Nathan knows Harry was trained by Voldemort without knowing the whole story it just causes more conflict.

So on all fronts the way I see it this just looks like a way to drive a wedge between Harry and his family and it is poorly done. I am not saying change the direction of this story I am just saying you have to find a more subtle wedge because this is just too obvious. I can picture it when Harry is 15 or 16 finding out that his parents kept the fact that he was trained by Voldemort a secret, Nathan not trusting his brother, and Harry realizing their reason for being suspicious and angry at him is ridiculous.

 

You know why we complain about you? Because much of the stuff you complain about seems trivial and/or just you trying to find something to complain about. I'll admit you're a good reviewer but sometimes it just gets too much from you.

Take this post for example. Let's break it down one by one.

Harry's going to attack Dumbledore? His brother? Besides, this is a secret far more important than the level of Nathan's injuries. This is motherfucking Voldemort.

*facepalm* If you read into it a bit further, its basically Harry trying to supress his memories and feelings of Quirrel after finding it too painful to wonder why his favorite teacher did what he did.

You would? Why?

Dumbledore does, and he threatened the Durmstrang headmaster who's name escapes me, remember? As far as Harry's concerned, he's got leet protection there.

... You mean watch out for people who are pleasant to you and teach you stuff you want to learn? That's includes Calypso, Viktor and makes him a paranoid fuck.

This is just silly. Suspicious looks aren't unwarranted, considering he's been gone from them for over a few months, apparently had the guy who targetted his brother teach him cool stuff and he's in Durmstrang. They'd give him a look or two, sure.

... He's ELEVEN YEARS OLD. He's not motherfucking Sherlock Holmes. He may be good at magic, but he's just a fucking kid, which you seem to forget. And how do you know that his side of the story with Quirrel won't come up in a later installment? Are you the author's beta?

Harry and Ron don't get along. Fine. They also see each other once a year. I doubt this is what they're worried about when Harry comes to mind. And I think Nathan would love his brothe enough not to be swayed by Ron's bad-mouthing. Harry is his brother after all.

 

Personally I did raise an eyebrow when right after Dumbledore gave his "right or easy" speech to Nathan he turns around and tells Nathan not to divulge any information to Harry.

Nathan's answer: "Well I don't like it, but if you say so..."

Not very quick on the uptake, is he?

 

Huh? I never mentioned attacking Dumbledore or his brother. I consider this "secret" more important but for different reasons then you seem to. Not telling Nathan's injuries had foreseeable short term consequences but that could easily be overlooked by not knowing Harry well enough to know the length he would go to to find out how his brother is doing.

Making the same mistake but having long term ramifications right after making a similar but smaller one seems dumb. Voldemort is alive and when he gets a body could easily tell Harry why his family has become suspicious of him and why Nathan doesn't trust him anymore. Really could you blame Nathan for not trusting his brother? Nathan isn't allowed to get the other side of the story. The Potters can get the other side of the story but instead choose to simply be suspicious of Harry's rise in the Dark Arts.

Besides you make it sound like the "secret" is important because of the fact it needs to be kept from Harry. However really not seeing it. Once again why does it need to be kept from him? He wasn't used against his brother and Quirrell only helped teach him and sent him to a school he likes.

So isn't this even more of a reason to tell Harry so that he can blame it on Voldemort instead of blaming everything on his favorite dead teacher? Again I don't see the benefit of keeping this from Harry since when it is revealed what happened to Harry then he will probably redirect all anger at the people who kept it from him instead of Voldemort who deserves a share of it but will probably be the one who reveals everything to Harry. So what is Dumbledore's angle here I just don't see any benefits short or long term to his plan.

Yes I would and I stated and will restate why.

Your somewhat right he does have leet protection. On the other hand he has people at the school trying to kill him and Dumbledore refusing to tell him he was and possibly still is being manipulated by Voldemort. So again what is the benefit to keeping Voldemort's involvement from Harry? He is obviously not the type of kid to go screaming what happened from the rooftops. Not even canon Harry was that bad so why keep it from him. I feel like I am being redundant but your making me repeat myself since you don't seem to see how their is no obvious benefit to keeping it from Harry; not from Dumbledore's POV nor from his Parents POV or Nathan's POV but everyone seems to have stepped in line like a cliche story where everyone follows Dumbledore's will blindly.

Well since this story seems to have 12 year old Calypso being a evil villain your actually weakening your case by mentioning he should be suspicious of her. However his parents don't know much about Calypso all they know is Voldemort may have wanted Harry to go to Durmstrang either to get Harry out of Dumbledore's grasp or maybe even go further and try to get Harry on their side. So like I have said and keep repeating why NOT tell Harry whats going on. In fact your kinda confusing me because you seem to be making my case for me while totally disagreeing with me. Your saying it is ridiculous to watch out for Conspirator!Calypso when as readers we know she is exactly that.

...your making my point for me again. They are suspicious of him because he goes to Durmstrang and knows cool Dark Arts stuff as well as being taught by the guy who targeted his brother. Sooooo why not ask Harry what is going on he is a friggin 11 year old and instead of sitting down and having a stern talking to with their son about what happened. Maybe ask him more about his education but no, they just chalk it up to his growing addiction to the Dark Arts and his apprenticeship to Voldemort. Sarcasm is intended their because honestly how much about their son could have changed in a year at his age that they would start treating him as if he is going to start casting the unforgivables. Their parents they just need to sit down and talk the matter over with their son.

I am not sure what you mean by the Sherlock Holmes reference but if you mean he can't stay more alert then he already is I beg to differ. He has gotten comfortable at his school with his friends and growing magical skills. Being told how he was influenced by Voldemort would make him likely more alert to possible manipulations by others.

I am not arguing that what happened with Quirrell won't come up later on. On the contrary I have stated I believe it will come up and it will probably be used as a plot device to drive a wedge between Harry and his family. I am making the argument that the plot device seems too overt and cliche. Everyone stepped in line with Dumbledore even though the idea was dumb and that is a very cliche plot device to move the story forward. I am simply pointing out my view that the characters should have more depth to them.

Yeah your probably right I mean why would parents worry about the best friend of one of their children convincing the child not to get along with their sibling. I mean it is not like stuff like that happens often when friends of one kid dislikes that kids sibling. Sarcasm intended. Nathan wouldn't need much swaying in my opinion. Nathan has no idea about Harry's side of things so on one side you have Nathan's parents, his headmaster and grandfather figure Dumbledore, and his best friend Ron then on the other side you have Harry who doesn't know what is going on and Nathan is not allowed to find out Harry's side of things. Besides your forgetting Nathan is a 12 year old and sometimes 12 year olds make decisions they later regret.

Quick question: Is it as much fun having the argument about a persons motives based on their age turned against you as it was for you to try that argument to refute each of my points?

I know right? I mean instead of settling this and seeing what happened between Quirrell and Harry he takes the easy way out and tries to sweep it all under the rug after making a speech about not doing just that. That's to far gone to be considered hypocritical it's just strange.

 

So you really don't see the problem in telling Harry that the Dark Lord isn't a personal enemy of his and instead is a potential teacher? Because that is exactly what the admission would mean.

Besides, Dumbledore and Co. cannot allow the information about possessed Quirrell to spread. That knowledge could severely weaken Dumbledore politically and make Harry a social pariah. The only way to keep a secret is not to tell it.

And what makes you say that this incident makes Harry's family suspicious of him? It's far more likely that they are afraid for him - not of him.

 

You mentioned his attacking Ron, and I felt the need to question your inclusion of it.

It seems dumb to us, but what is Dumbledore going to be doing after that initial decision? Again, we don't know, and until we get further chapters this seems a moot point to discuss long term ramifications if we don't have the full picture of what either Voldemort or Dumbledore are going to do. I concede your point on the Potters.

We see it as a reason, because we're reading his thoughts. Are his parents doing the same?

So... Harry is going to lash out against his parents and family for not telling him Voldemort was his teacher at the age of 11, not considering why he would reveal this, if he was lying or even if Quirrel had most of the responsbility in teaching him or not. For someone demanding Harry be more aware of everything, why do you expect him to suddenly buy into what Voldemort is selling?

Fifth, Sixth and Seventh aren't trying shit against him. His rise in the Dark Arts classes has scared off most of the others. He has the Headmaster ready to torture the fuck out of anyone who messes with him. He has the daughter of a Death Eater and the son of a relatively influential family in Bulgaria backing him up. Somehow I don't see the author introducing a new teenage character who can counteract all of these.

Benefit:
1. Harry doesn't feel guilt that he was taught by the man who tried to kill his brother, and probably sent him off to Durmstrang to make that easier.
2. Harry, as being in Durmstrang, is relatively isolated from British news and events where most of the Death Eaters are. Voldemort spent time after this recovering in Albania, and there are no Hocruxes outside Britain. (He's relatively clear for the most part, unless Voldemort decides that as a spirit he probably should go to a magic academy with extensive defences and try to lure a twelve year old to his side. Harry is a curiousity and a project to him, not the end all and be all of his machinations.)
3. Harry acts normally with his parents and Nathan, who will either relax or will remain awkard. Most likely the other, and there is good character development in that.

Evil villain? I saw her more of an amoral schemer softening up to Harry, to be honest.

We know, sure. Does he know? No. She's his friend, and telling him to pull a damn Moody with her probably won't help things along with his parents or at school.

Here you say he's getting comftorable, while above you say he's getting targetted at school. Which is it?

You are making the argument it is too overt without having seen it fully played out. It's a good assumption, but one without complete knowledge available to you.

Well, I've personally not seen it happen among friends and family so I can't really commentate.

Who knows, maybe Nathan will foul things up and confront Harry, eh? :awesome

 

Quoted for truth. I just got annoyed reading this.

 

I read to story and like the way things are going even if I have doubt about some part. But since most of my criticism would already have been written for this chapter, I will say nothing until the next chapter.

 

Finally got around to reading this. So, the quality is pretty consistent and I generally like it. My only major problem is with the scene between Dumbledore and Nathan.

Having Dumbledore hide things from Harry is the right decision (I don't agree with Jigokuno's faggotty whining), but the interaction in the scene is a bit off.

It's very close to the canon scene, so I expect you re-read that before writing, but it's just not very good. Dumbledore's characterisation is a bit off. He shows a bit too much weakness, and doesn't quite control his emotions:

The problem isn't that he tells Nathan/Harry that he cares, it's that in your story he lets himself be dominated by the emotion. Dumbledore "trailing off" is also odd.

One of the great things about Rowling's Dumbledore is that maybe he's surprised, but he shows delight - he's quite happy to joke about toilet seats and whatnot when talking to a student who nearly died.

Also, "My, you're all grown up now, aren't you?" is the sort of thing Molly Weasley says. And there's also this "my boy" business. I know "my dear boy" appears in canon quite a lot, but "my boy" doesn't iirc, and it stinks of fanon Dumbledore. I also think the two are quite different in connotation.

And, to be honest, I'm not even sure most of the scene is useful. After all we already know what happened with Quirrell from canon, so the only important information is the fact that Harry is kept out of the loop - which could be achieved through a Harry-centric scene, in which someone dodges his questions well enough that he doesn't catch on.

 

Santi handled this perfectly, so you nay-sayers can shut the fuck up now.

 

Awesome update. Dumbledore is spot on, as usual. The only thing that bugs me about this story is the lack of jealousy from Nathan. I mean, James and Lily go on and on about how smart Harry is. And he is smart. But parents should be more careful about wording their praise.

I don't know, that's how I see it. Other than that, keep up the good work, awesome story is awesome.

 

Iirc the earlier chapters correctly Nathan's known how smart Harry is for a long time. Seeing his Mom gush about it would come off as more amusing then anything.

 

Good to see an update. That Harry gets along alight with Hermione was good to see, while I'm never very fond of her I glade you avoided bashing all of the trio.

The "It's in German" excuse is convenient and is fine for now but it will get old really fast if it comes up every time he sees his parents.

I really want to find out what Calypso's surprise is so write more soon.

 

Great update.

I for one am glad that there isn't any cliched jealousy between the brothers.

I'd actually love it if Harry and Nathan stayed on good terms throughout the whole story, if only because that would be the exact opposite of every other Twin-Who-Lived story I've ever read.

 

I enjoyed it. The only thing that really punched me in the face was Hermione's father being named 'Dan'. Too many thousands upon thousands of poorly written Harmony fics out there, that as sad as it is to say, Hermione's OC never-speak-in-canon parents have names that are among the worst cliches out there.

But otherwise, nicely done. Filler, but acceptable, and I think it was good to have Harry being able to interact not only with Nathan, but with Hermione. It adds to the distinction between neglected!everyone hates him!Harry. It's a relationship that I think could have interesting dynamics in the future, even if it never launches into even an 'outer circle' friendship.

4/5

 

Personally, I want to hear more about this house elf fued.