For me, the only good fic out now with Harry v. Harry is Equal and Opposite.

 

'Mrs.' refers to a married woman. 'Miss' refers to one who is unmarried. Ms. is used when the speaker cannot or does not want to make the distinction. In my area, Ms. is by far the most common.

 

Sorry for not responding for a short while, but I've been ill these past few days.

I'm reading some sites on English grammar and some other points. I'll be re-writing the story after I'm done with that.
The first chapter will be split in at least two chapters (one for each year). There might be more chapters depending on how much information will be uncovered in those chapters.

The whole money-stealing and bribing will be completely removed from the story. It's been used too much and I doubt that the goblins could even permit such a thing. If theft from Gringotts-vaults were globally known then the goblins would lose all their accounts and business in the Wizarding World. It's used a lot but it isn't really logical. Even if his guardian allowed it, then it could never be considered theft and be retrieved because there was permission to do the actions.

Thanks for all the replies and assistance by the way.

 

English isn't my first language either (though, I seem to pick it up at an unnatural speed)

Read some stories first and try to spot as many mistakes as you can, after a while move onto stories with less and less mistakes. After that, re-read your own story in the same manner and I can guarantee you that you'll get an entire list.

Other than that, try to read it out loud. For me it works simply because it doesn't sound 'good' somehow I'm always right when I try. It'll even help most at tests, since I started reading fanfics I've been moved up two years.

Furthermore, write it out on paper. I'm sure that you'll get bored when writing about the betrayal, simply because it has been done a lot. And if you're really want to write a story, the brainstorming will be impossible to avoid.

Your responses tell me that you really want to improve your English, and I think that you just need to find your own way too do this. My way is my own, you just need to find yours.

I'm from Holland, and if you need my help, just pm me. After all, my English still needs a lot of work

 

Good advice.

Reading aloud is key.

Especially when writing dialogue. If you can't read what you've written aloud without blushing in embarssment/awkwardness, then it can be improved.

 

Epic trashbin bump to show all my fellow DLP faithful just how made of awesome this guy is, I present to you his mighty review of Sera's HP masturbationpiece of moderately tender fail.



"10/13/07 - After getting about the thousandth PM about them, I'm going toclose the door on the Harry Potter topic here and now. Both of my HP fics areDISCONTINUED, and WILL REMAIN that way. I have no further interest whatsoeverin writing in that fandom, the reasons behind which I don't care to describe.Any further private messages or other comments on the subject will be outrightignored, and the sender blocked. I hate to sound rude, but I'm more than a bittired of being hassled several times per week about something that should havebeen painfully obvious to everybody. It's been some 19 months since I updatedDakaath or Red Prince, it should stand to reason that I have no plans to do sonow. And before anybody asks, I am NOT putting either story up for 'adoption'and will not give anyone else permission to continue my work, so please don'teven ask. There, subject closed."

I pm'ed a message that comes down to the same thing as the following:I haven't read this fic, but if anyone wants to continue it then they can. Asto LT2000: The Harry Potter universe completely belongs to JKR. And I believeher words were along the lines of "Fanficions are allowed as long as they aresuitable for children"? I don't have an exact quote, but I'm sure someone willhave it.In other words, the universe doesn't belong to you, neither does this story.You are writing in another author's universe and as such that all belongs tothat author.You can't make comments like "nobody can complete 'my' story" because itisn't yours in the first place.You don't want anyone writing about "your stuff"? Then go make yourself auniverse and create your own books. But don't go talking about anotherauthor's universe like you own it.You don't.Anyone can pick up this fic, and while it might be nice to say that the storywas yours in the first place, they don't need your approval to continue iteither way. Nice? Yes. Needed? Hell no. Why do I put this comment here while I haven't read your story? Because thecomment in your profile severely ticket me off. You act like you own the wholething. You don't. Get over it.



I invoke the Trident Rule. Plagiarism is for the loss, permitted or otherwise, and so is this 'author.'

Epic 0/5 rating, and not even underservedly so. Come up with your own original plot instead of jacking an entire story premise from someone infinitely more talented than you.

 

Something more out of the blue... SilverAegis rescinded his decision to abandon the Girl Who Lived - after about ten versions were posted.

What a fickle guy.

 

Only about five million people decided to write their own version after he put it up for grabs. Maybe he saw that and thought, "Shit, I must have really had something good on my hands. Maybe I shouldn't stop just quite yet."

In the mean time, with so many different versions, there are bound to be a few good ones (shit, one would hope...). The reader wins.

 

You really are funny LT2000, do you write your jokes or did you hire someone that actually uses his/her brain?

1-
You place this response in a thread that has nothing to do with it. Congratulations. I didn't know that the reply of your mail/fanfiction was a direct link to this forum; I'll have to re-check that.
You could have just as easily pm/reply via the fanfiction-links, to which I placed the comment. But no, you need to put it here. Completely unrelated, but you probably needed your shot.

2-
By the time I put the comment on your story, I had already taken down my own story for complete 'make-over'. So it's hilarious that you can comment with a 0/5 rating while you could not have read it at all.
Unless you read it before I removed it, and then the question remains why you only put a review here after you saw my comment on your 'sad' "nobody can take my story *puffs out chest*" announcement.

3-
"Come up with your own plot". Funny.
The only thing of SilverAegis that I took was "Harry goes to AU and meets his female counterpart"; everything else was completely changed.
Does this mean that you only read one Azkaban-fic because all others are ripped off? And only one good/redeemed Bellatrix-fic? And of course only one "bad Harry"-fic; because the first author to come up with that owns all rights to the story.

4-
If you can't bother to finish your own fic, why say nobody else can do it either? Are you that much of a petty man that you don't want any of your readers to actually see an ending to that story?
JKR owns the entire playground; everything you come up with is still in JKR's playground. In other words: you can't even utter the words "This is mine and you can't continue it", because simply speaking: You don't own it.

5-
Jacking off the story am I? Thank you for showing that you didn't read it at all. You -assumed- that I copy/pasted all of SilverAegis' chapters and then continued the story. I didn't, I restarted and didn't copy a single letter.
But again, congratulations on how high and mighty you are.
You completely failed btw.

On Topic: As I said in one of my points, I removed the story from fanfiction to completely rework it based on some useful posts (not counting LT2000's crap) that I got here. I'll be writing a one-shot first, then a short fic and after that I will resume this one which should be novel-length.

Thanks for the useful comments.

Ps: I also saw that SilverAegis posted a comment that he would be continuing that fic. But actions speak more than words do, so I'll believe that when I see it.