Title: Harry Potter and the Next Great Adventure
Author: Mordecai's
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure/Romance
DLP Category: Independent Harry
Pairing: Harry/Tonks
Chapters: 9
Words: 80,631
Updated: June 3, 2008
Published: July 14, 2007
Status: Abandoned

Summary: Dumbledore’s death hangs like a dark cloud on the future of the wizarding world. Evil has scored a crucial point. What happens when Harry Potter faces political troubles and fear of his own death while fighting the forces of evil? Experience magic at its extreme as the Grim Reaper comes knocking on your doors and a new force rises to fight the rising threat of darkness. Independent Harry!


Story Link: Here


Checked by Minion, October 25, 2015

 

The story was good up until the last chapter. I would have to say that the first five chapters rate a solid 4/5 while if you include the last chapter then I'd have to rate a 2/5.

Looks like another Honks Story ruined.

 

The last two chapters dragged down the rest of the story, which seemed to be leading up to something more... climactic. Decent character interaction and all. The fight with Voldemort was dragged down by a lot of dialogue that didn't seem to go anywhere. Some of the lines were amusing, sure, but the scene struck me as whimsical while aiming for seriousness. The last chapter just went to hell.
All in all, the story was pretty mediocre. Decently written, but not very interesting. 2/5

 

My theory is that the last chapters were written by the new author. The well-writte, previous ones, were by the original Mordecai before he passed away

Perhaps you should consider starting your own story, rather than resuming your brother's?

 

If only you knew, Mordecai passed away before HBP was released. So, it may not seem like it, but the entire story is my own creation and is following the path that I have envisioned from the beginning.

I would also like to ask what it was that you did not like in it, so that I could explain what I think about it, my POV while writing it, and also so that I can improve on any mistakes that I may have made.

Constructive criticism is always welcome. Flaming, just for the sake of it, would only be good for my BBQ.

 

The last chapter is massively "what the hell?"
Oh, and the Voldemort in the one before that is terrible.

 

Yeah, i know, even when i wrote the chapter, i was like WTF!! but then all we ever get when harry dies is some sort of mysterious ball of energy, or some big phoenix, even some telling him that he is very powerful and so should go back and kick Voldy's ass.

Also there is that stuff, where harry plays chess with fate or someone and when he wins he gets to go back.

what i wanted to portray was that he was literally dead and his one true desire of meeting his parents is now fulfilled. i wanted to show a harry who doesn't want to go back.

And about Voldemort, i am always peeved by all those Voldemorts out there who are like "Wormtail, Crucio!"

I mean i've always believed that Voldy is like the most patient guy ever, what with his year long plotting schemes and stuff. But sometimes the authors use the Crucios a bit too much. i know he gets angry but its rare and only if his wishes are not fulfilled. i believe that with the amount of crucios some authors use, his followers will be no different than Neville's parents.

also what i wanted to portray was a Voldy who is a bit over-confident now that Dumbles is dead. he didnt even use legilimency on Harry.

 

Sounds (or reads) like you've got some good ideas but you just have trouble incorporating them into the story.

 

I have posted another chapter for this. Hope you enjoy it. Link:

Chapter