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WIP Harry Potter and The Prince of Power Book 1 Birth of a Snake by ACI100 - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Sesc, May 21, 2019.

  1. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Title: Harry Potter and The Prince of Power Book 1 Birth of a Snake
    Author: ACI100
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Fantasy
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category: Alternates/Dark Arts
    Pairings: HP/OC eventually
    Summary: The world is a complex place, one of many subtle things that separate us Wizards though, many of them view the world as black and white, light and dark, good and evil. Albus Dumbledore is one of those people. So when Lord Voldemort fell the world rejoiced, and Dumbledore thought Harry Potter, the Saviors of the light to be just that his saviour. He is in for one hell of a surprise.
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13239742/1/Harry-Potter-and-The-Prince-of-Power-Book-1-Birth-of-a-Snake

    If you want to party like it's 2005.

    Abusive!Dursleys, Shopping Trip, Friendly!Goblins, Custom!Wand, and I wouldn't be surprised if a magical core popped up. If that sounds to you like the cliché list from hell, skip it.

    That said, there once was a reason those things were used in stories in the first place. For instance: Outfitting Harry with all sorts of stuff is cool. Yeah, so he's got a dual core phoenix-basilisk venom wand. And? It's nonsense, but it's cool nonsense. Go be boring elsewhere :p


    The stories keeps it under control, kinda. It's still serious, and apart from the cliché list, your typical Slytherin!Harry (the House-Politics variant), combined with the Indy themes (Harry is powerful, Dumbledore is distrustful). Every now and then, there's a bit of original stuff, but the rest you've seen before. The "foreshadowing" of the future pairing is clear, she's as powerful as Harry (also with a super wand), and I look forward to seeing both wiping the floor with every other Slytherin ca. in 3rd year (if we ever get there).

    So this is if you suddenly have a craving, and want one step up from the really really shit stuff, because it's readable (spelling-wise, and there is a coherent plot), and as yet ongoing with updates. The condition applied to me, I enjoyed feeling nostalgic, TL;DR: guilty pleasure, 3/5.
     
  2. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    No Daphne, yet a guilty pleasure? I am surprised, Sesc. I'll give it a shot.
     
  3. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    I wish people would remember that "Daphne" is a label :p

    Whether she's called Daphne or Charlotte is entirely irrelevant, as long as the content is correct.
     
  4. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

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    Aaaand I'm playing Charlotte the Harlot on my headphones now.
     
  5. Shodan

    Shodan First Year

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    Whelp. I didn't think I'd enjoy this, but I actually did. That I haven't read a fic with the usual cliches- custom wand, Slytherin hierarchy etc- in years might be a large factor, and many of them can actually be kind of cool if they're executed remotely well. Of course, if you can't stomach this stuff anymore this won't be for you.

    Something that goes in favor of this story is also that it doesn't go over the top, and the characters stay realistic: While many fics of its kind derail into the usual Dumbledore bashing etc, this story actually portray somewhat believable decisions and actions. Also, I must say that I enjoy the dynamics between the Slytherins and the OCs don't feel out of place.

    Dumbledore's characterization is something that made this fic a lot more bearable to me. Instead of going the normal route and calling him a manipulative mastermind while portraying him as an incompetent imbecile, he's actually a good guy here, and his concerns regarding Harry are understandable because of the similarities between him and Riddle. This is obviously not Dark!Harry though, so I hope that these concerns dissolve after a while and that there won't be a forced conflict.

    A guilty pleasure for sure, but I'm really looking forward to the next chapter so I'm also giving this a 3/5.

    PS: The author has a few other stories with similar cliches. I won't open a thread for any of them because I don't think they're library material, but if you enjoy this one, you might enjoy those as well.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2019
  6. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    I actually think this story is improving by the chapter. The cliché list is left behind (the low point was the "kill someone by levitating off a cliff"-trope, which is not terrible because it's overused, but because it makes everyone who is awed by this "revelation" retarded), the interactions e.g. with Grace are thoroughly enjoyable, and the last chapter especially even was, dare I say, clever, in the way the Canon Midnight Duel was tweaked, leading to unintended consequences as Harry's masterplan partly backfires.

    Author put up a bar there for himself. I hope he keeps clearing it.
     
  7. PWIZDUO

    PWIZDUO Third Year

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    So this sounds fucking awful, but it’s either this or study for my econometrics final so I guess I’m going in. Will be back with a review.
    --- Post automerged ---
    Yikes. Before the first word of the story the author lists his favorite Slytherin Harry story and then listing a bunch of garbage he writes: “honorable mention to on the way to greatness, not top five by any means”


    Ok keeping an open mind....


    Edit: there are 7 numbered author notes before the first word of the story.
     
  8. Zansa

    Zansa Fourth Year

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    The first 6 chapters of this are almost entirely irrelevant. There are only two scenes that couldn't be cut without damaging the narrative: Dumbledore visiting Harry at the orphanage, and Harry meeting Charlotte. I would suggest everyone who wants to read this fic to either skip to the end of chapter 6 when Harry is sorted, or to scan through the first 6 chapters quickly if you don't outright read only those two scenes. The story does become markedly better when Harry gets to Hogwarts.

    That said, this fic is just a little bit too much. The ANs are a little bit too obnoxious, Harry smirks a little bit too much, there are just a little bit too many calculating looks sent one way or another, there's just a little bit too much kissing of the ground Harry walks upon, everyone else is just a little bit too dimwitted, and the world a little bit too accommodating. If there were just a little bit less of any of those problems, I think I would like this story. But for every scene I like, there's two or three too many where Harry-cum-Jesus is putting even the most intelligent and suave Gary Stus to shame. That scene where Harry enlightened the entire room that the levitation spell could be used lethally was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen.

    Above all I feel this scratches pretty much all the same itches as Dodging Prison and Stealing Witches and does it worse. I even feel like ACI100 and LeadVonE are similar people, but LeadVonE is a much better writer and has actually interesting, original ideas. I almost want to abstain from rating this until year 2 or 3, both because of Charlotte and because the author has shown improvement. As it stands this is the definition of a 2.5/5 in my opinion, it's a step below DPaSW but if you have an itch that needs scratched, this is tolerable.
     
  9. Scarat

    Scarat Fourth Year

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    It's not irrelevent. Daphne Greengrass is a great name. No OC name comes close. Plus, Daphne's hotness factor is intensified by years of being hot throughout fanfics. If you make it an OC with an OC name it's just not the same.
     
  10. Crownworthy

    Crownworthy Second Year

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    This story is fun and all, but the Slytherin House politics are a bit overblown. The concept of there being a student who leads the entire house was ridiculous in "Prince of Slytherin" and it hardly makes any more sense in this story. I prefer my house politics to be more organic, like they were in "Sitra Ahra" or "On The Way to Greatness" to there being this weird, rigid hierarchy which is seemingly accepted by students and teachers alike. Also, Harry calling his classmates "Mr." and "Ms." when nobody else does isn't polite. It's annoying to read, and would feel condescending as fuck in real life. If you can stomach these annoyances it seems to be a fairly decent independent fic. 3/5 for now, with the possibility of going down.
     
  11. Only Darkness

    Only Darkness Squib

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    The long AN in the first chapter is a bit off-putting especially when the author says it's a one-time thing only to keep doing it afterwards. The plot is very heavy, but not in a thought-provoking way, more in "that's a lot of words that are meant to sound clever but really aren'' way making the story difficult to read. That being said there are some interesting concepts in there and the writing isn't bad, plus going by the number of reviews on ffnet there are obviously a fair number of people who enjoy it.
     
  12. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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  13. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Screenshot_20190802-224603.png

    This, after like their entire list of every fic they've ever been inspired by. Fucking blasted way back to 2005.

    Sesc says it gets better so I'll try it. Hopefully they have learned how to spell speech.
     
  14. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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  15. raobuntu

    raobuntu DA Member

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    Ngl, the fact that this author considered Travel Secrets to be better than On The Way to Greatness isn’t a great start. But, I always enjoy Sesc’s recs so I’ll give it a go
     
  16. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    Okay, yeah, this is terrible. I can't take it anymore. 2/5.
     
  17. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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  18. Xion

    Xion Robot Overlord Admin

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  19. Tenebris Aeternam

    Tenebris Aeternam Muggle

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    This story is going to be deleted by the author within the next 48 hours.
     
  20. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I have an epub if anyone wants it in the future.
     
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