1. Hey Guest,

    Are you handy with Photoshop? Do you feel the DLP Anakin logo is tired and old? Do you want to win a special as of yet undetermined prize? Join the DLP Banner Photoshop Competition! Fame, fortune, and the respect of your peers await those that enter. Sadness, despair, and a deep self-loathing await those that do not.

    Enter the competition.
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin By The Sinister Man - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by iamnotreal, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2014
    Messages:
    205
    Though this story branches off a bit sometimes, Harry's feels a bit too old and the motivation of James/Lily are dubious at best I can completely suspend my disbelief here as the story is entertaining, exciting, surprising twists, inventive, has actual world building depth and quality characterisation. I really enjoy this even with some strange parts and give it at least 4/5 for now.
     
  2. Nevermind

    Nevermind First Year

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    23
    Location:
    All over the place.
    High Score:
    0
    It's a new chapter, and, if I remember correctly, it should be the last of the "Reactions & Overreactions" arc.

    The Sinister Man reveals a secret, and heavily implies another. For the first, I personally find the fact that

    Snape is Mr. X to be kind of lame? The reveal was cheesy as hell, especially Snape's strong reaction to the statement that Sirius is innocent. It doesn't fit the image of the character I had so far.
    Even though the scene of dialogue that followed was pretty good, especially Reg's parts.

    The set-up for the second major theme of the chapter at the ancestral home of the Selwyns practically screams
    "VAMPIRE!"
    from the very start. I wonder if that is actually the case, though, as
    vampires seem to be relatively respected in HP canon, best illustrated by the presence of a vampire at Slughorn's party in HBP. I can't recall whether TSM changed something about that in his world, though. Perhaps it's something even more *ducks and hides* sinister?

    My biggest gripe of the chapter was, once again, the veritable flood of OCs. I am seriously contemplating making a list, and that is never a good thing. Of course, the times between updates don't help, either.

    Overall, not one of my favourite updates, nevertheless POS remains one of my favourite fanfics that actually update once in a while.

    And yes, I am aware that the acronym is rather poorly chosen.
     
  3. Darthlawyer

    Darthlawyer First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2016
    Messages:
    29
    High Score:
    0
    I had the same idea about the Selwyns but they seem to be a pretty interesting adversary for the future. I hope the author will pick up posting regularly once again the last half year or so it went to slow.
     
  4. JErosion

    JErosion Fifth Year

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2015
    Messages:
    143
    When I read it my first thought was something related to the Unseelie court. Vampires would work too, but then again you never know with this author we've got sorts of wheels within wheels going on with the plots.
     
  5. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2006
    Messages:
    7,397
    Location:
    Australia
    4/5

    First year was an entire waste of time as far as reading goes.

    Author claims to have used standard HP tropes and cliches in order to subvert and lampshade them, but what that really amounts to is introducing shit and then shelving it until it's relevant at a later date for maybe half a dozen paragraphs before shelving it again.

    If the author had gone into year 1 with the same intention and effort he had for year 2 and beyond then I would most likely bump my rating up half a star.

    It would never become a 5 star because this suffers from what Joe's works suffer from in the sense that they're both original fiction masquerading as HP Fanfiction.

    One of my major issues with this story is that the author is bad at weaving together multiple plot lines. He'll make it work occasionally, but more often then not it seems to be a case of throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks immediately, and shelving what 'doesn't' for a later point in the story, briefly referencing it to make sure we remember it's a thing, before moving on to something different.

    All these 'plot threads' that the author weaves become twisted and smashed together until they are one gigantic fucking mess that would make me roll my eyes if there weren't other things that make up for the lack of coherent story structure beyond 'It's Harry Potter, you know where it's going'.

    My final misgiving is that both Jim and Harry are OC characters. One is a straight OC and the other is just using the main characters name and circumstances.

    The author straight up admits that they're incapable of writing believable underage characters so he skips with the pretense from the get go and says 'dis is purebloodz etiquette, oh btw Harry told Hermione all about it so thats why she's also out of characterz.'

    Later on the author tries to this inadequacy as far as Harry is concerned by going IT'S A VOLDEMORT MAGICAL SCAR THINGZZZZZZZZ, despite the fact that Harry makes more modern references beyond what Voldemort would have known at the time of his first death.

    On one hand, it's a good excuse that's been used before to justify Harry being out of character. On the other, it's pretty fucking obvious why it was inserted when it was, especially because it is never referenced again inside the story.

    I think I've said it above, but yeah, I will repeat.

    My biggest pet peeve in this story is that story elements are introduced and then they vanish from both the story and Harry's cognition until the author decides they are relevant again, and just has Harry go 'derrr I need to pay more attention to this hurdur!' before immediately forgetting whatever the fucking plot element was.

    With all that said, at @Narf's insistence I started reading this. I started at 8pm and stopped around 6am, slept maybe an hour until I was woken up, and then finished reading the last few chapters.

    I wouldn't consider the time spent reading this to be wasted.

    There are some genuinely amusing scenes, as well as intuitive uses of in-universe logic and certain plot threads that are either smartly executed, or well developed, despite the fact that it takes 200k+ for them to appear and then receive a suitable pay off.

    Pros:
    • Despite the first year, the second and onward have a dozen compelling plot lines and some actually result in a meaningful payoff.
    • There are singular instances of brilliant scenes that will actually make you smile in delight.
    • Readable. For the most part the authors flow and structure works well. With that said, you will find multiple word walls in each chapter because the author doesn't understand that he can intermix dialogue with the characters physical actions/expressions to breakup the tediousness of 500 word monologues.
    • Magical Precursor Dinosaurs.

    Cons:
    • Author tried to subvert tropes and failed by not understanding that introducing a cliche and then not referencing it for hundreds of thousands of words is not considered subverting it, but just shitty writing.
    • Author is unable to manage multiple plots at the same time and it becomes obvious the longer that the story goes on when old plot threads magically reappear.
    • Original Material is incompatible with HP lore and requires gigantic leaps in suspension of disbelief that are straight up shattered in several instances. Guardian Archangel House Elves, anyone?
    • Outside of several characters with super clear cut personality traits, no character is recognizable by their actions or their dialogues. The author is unable to meaningfully convey character beyond assigning specific traits to characters and then leaning on them to give said character meaningful scenes.
      • Multiple characters are unrecognizable from their canon counterparts and while these changes exist to facilitate story development, it's clear to me that a better author would have been able to utilize the original characters in a similar way while retaining the original characters personalities and motivations.
    • Author is forced to rely on multiple POVs to explain shit that happens in story because they aren't capable of laying the groundwork for the 'main character' who is totez 1337 haxxorz to observe or deduce, nor rely on the audience to understand background developments. The result is a lot of tedious filler chapters.
    • Magical Precursor Dinosaurs.
     
  6. Athena

    Athena Muggle

    Joined:
    May 3, 2017
    Messages:
    4
    Location:
    Dublin, Ireland
    High Score:
    0
    To be honest I kind of wish that I had just skimmed the first book as I spent half my time cringing. Thankfully the author's writing improved dramatically in time for the second book, and it includes one of my all-time favourite Lockharts. Despite the promise in the description, this fanfic does suffer from some common clichés, but I really enjoyed the author's efforts to turn some on their head. For example I've never found fics where Harry immediatly accepts at the age of eleven that he is the one destined to kill an evil Dark Lord that has murdered God knows how many people particularly realistic, even for hp. Let's face it, he may have a bit of a hero complex but no kid is going to except that without having a nervous breakdown. It's one of the reasons why I found Jim's reaction to hearing the prophacy quite refreshing. Overall it was quite entertaining, even sometimes laugh out loud amusing, and I really hope when the author finally completes the fic they take it upon themselves to re-write the first book, but as it stands it is a necessary evil.

    HP&POS 2/5

    HP&TSE 4/5

    HP&DEM is still in its early stages but I'm enjoying it so far even if the pacing and update rate is slow so 3.5/5
     
  7. mattharris685

    mattharris685 Muggle

    Joined:
    May 14, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The US of fuckin' A
    My only true regret with this story is that I found it when it's nowhere near finished. First year was a slog, but The Secret Enemy was an absolute pleasure to blaze through. Wild Magic, the menacing basilisk, the Prince's Lair, Lockhart - it was all amazing. And without a doubt, Luna's memory scene was by far the most jaw-dropping twist in this fic.

    4.5/5, Heartily recommended, but only if you can bear to get through some thirtyish chapters of cringe. It's worth it though.
     
  8. why?

    why? Second Year

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Messages:
    56
    High Score:
    0
    It's getting increasingly harder to care about this story. The author could have easily not written years 1-3 and picked up right after the prologue. I wish more people did that. It would get rid of the issue of writing children and the series of endless training montages. It's been nearing a year since the summer started, and Hogwarts is barely in sight. Literally.

    I saw there was an update and scrolled down to see if there'd be more, and it turns out there's another Hogwarts Express chapter? The fuck?

    This story is such a letdown. No signs of improvement in sight.
     
  9. mattharris685

    mattharris685 Muggle

    Joined:
    May 14, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The US of fuckin' A
    I slightly disagree with this, mainly because the story wouldn't have the proper setup. Knowing now what Second Year was like in the story, I'm completely happy that TSM didn't skip it. The first year was a bore, horribly written, cringy as hell - but it was needed too. The story simply wouldn't flow or be the same unless it set it all up.

    But I can definitely agree that the summer interlude between second and third year is weighing the story down way, waaaaay to much. I don't need a chapter on every character to see how they're doing. The fic needs to get back to Hogwarts, and quickly at that.
     
  10. why?

    why? Second Year

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Messages:
    56
    High Score:
    0
    Have you read Control (Anonymous58) or Joe's An Unfound Door? The author dumps you in the thick of it and there's no immersion issues.

    Training montage can suck it.

    It's OK to have multiple plot points, but there should still be some kind of end-goal. Otherwise, it's just worldbuilding for its own sake.

    If somebody were to be very liberally inspired by this (pick the better ideas), we'd be left with a much better story.

    TSM bit off more than he can handle, and the funny thing is there wasn't much of a point. He has enough original ideas that he didn't need to try to make contrived tropes better.
     
  11. mattharris685

    mattharris685 Muggle

    Joined:
    May 14, 2015
    Messages:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The US of fuckin' A
    I can definitely agree to that. TSM started a little bit too much and went a little too far. It seems every character has their plot and agenda. While realistic to the world he's written, it doesn't work a hundred percent of the time. There's simply to much to keep a hold of I think, and its bogging down the progress of the story. It's been in development for two years now - I don't want to be still reading it for another five more.

    And I refrain from touching anything that isn't completed or updated regularly. I hate getting a taste of what's written only to have it dropped.
     
  12. CaptainFlowers

    CaptainFlowers First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2017
    Messages:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I thoroughly enjoy this story, mainly for its world building. But I also agree that it really needs to catch up to the third year arc and stop flopping through the summer interludes.
     
  13. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    586
    Location:
    Within the Garden of Nurgle.
    High Score:
    2,094
    Could be that they're using the interludes as a way to write themselves out of a corner. I noticed some of their author notes indicate its them trying to write differently and asking the readers how they enjoy it.

    Personally, I fucking hate interludes.
     
  14. CaptainFlowers

    CaptainFlowers First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2017
    Messages:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    If that's true, then all the power to him! But there seems to be just a little to much time spent lingering on Ron and his recovery. I know the next chapter is supposed to be the Hogwarts Express or something similar. I just really want the fic to get back on track. It seems to be at its strongest when based around the school - and I'm pretty hyped to see how he handles the third year. TSM's writing definitely gets better as time goes on (second year was proof of that).

    Personally though, I'm all in it for the Lovehart/Sirius/Remus characters. But most of all, I'm invested in Luna's story arc. Talk about fucking awesome.
     
  15. Zombie

    Zombie John Waynes Teeth Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2007
    Messages:
    586
    Location:
    Within the Garden of Nurgle.
    High Score:
    2,094
    The magic is about the only interesting thing about it. I don't really care that much about Luna as a character. They've turned a flat character into something that's named Luna, but isn't Luna.

    Which is fine, that's what FF is for. I like stories that go into detail on some of the magic, and that is mostly because how open ended HP magic is. There are no hard definite besides the obviously stated ones.

    When I first read it and the whole Bombarda Maxima shit started cropping up, or that one spell "Lockheart" casts on the door when he's making his escape. I do like the fact that his plot seems pretty contained and shit that didn't make any sense before is kind of tied back in. That indicates at least some level of planning. Then again, Jon's review of this fic pretty much mirrors my sentiments entirely.

    Considering that I've read everything posted on this, I'm going to have to wait another year before I can read again because I hate waiting for constant updates.
     
  16. CaptainFlowers

    CaptainFlowers First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2017
    Messages:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Yeah, I feel the same. Hopefully the author will get onto a predictable update schedule.
     
  17. CaptainFlowers

    CaptainFlowers First Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2017
    Messages:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    New chapter posted!

    Edit: I finally got to read the new chapter - and to say I'm hyped for The Death Eater Menace is an understatement.

    TSM is very good at hinting and promising awesome twists in his story. Look at the basilisk from Second Year (which is in no doubt in my mind the best written version of the creature), the snake paintings that wouldn't talk, Lockhart, the Wild Magic, and Luna's storyline -

    I cannot wait to see what Rookwood and Selwyn bring into the mix. And I cannot wait to see what happens going forward with this story.
     
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017