Title: Harry Potter: Enigma at Work
Author: BlueMagikMarker
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure/Humor
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,985
Updated: December 19, 2006
Published: April 20, 2006
Status: Abandoned
Pairings: None for now
Summary: Harry's life changes when he's asked to join the Unspeakables. Forget Hogwarts! Follow Harry as he takes his destiny into his own hands with the help of the secret organization. What is Voldemort planning... and what's this about the Quibbler? PostOoTP
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903315/1/

Brand new Unspeakable!Harry story. This one is rather light so far, mainly composed of action and humor (but without sacrificing the plot). Writing style is rather simple and plain, which is normal for first-time authors.

The only downside is that Harry is way too good dueler and he's learning stuff way too fast. I mean, he outduels trained Unspeakables using his impressive knowledge from three months spent in a student dueling club, and he's planning to have NEWTS taken by the end of the summer... The author explains it with private tutors and hard work, but I still find it unreasonable.

All in all, it's an OK story so far, we'll see how it develops from here on...



Checked by Minion, March 10, 2013

 

Author

Hey, thanks for putting my story up.

Also thanks for the criticism... its really the only I've gotten so far and I didn't know what people thought of it. As to Harry being too good a dueler...

Cutler is not a very good Unspeakable, you should see that once I introduce a few more. In the most recent chapter, I explained that Cutler, and his group, had the potentioal to be great. That was their reason for being recruited. The fact that he didn't use his potential and that he always underestimates Harry was the only reason that Harry beat him in a straight-out duel. Harry also got the crap beat out of him incase you missed that part.

Also, Harry hasn't used any extremely rare, superpowered dark curses... he dosn't have any knowledge past what he's learned in school. All the magic he's used in duels so far has been basic. Eventually he will get a few more curses under his belt, but I'm not going to do one of those 'perfect memory due to rituals or occluding his mind' fics. He's going to have to do it the hard way.

I hope I covered everything.

 

I like what I've read so far of the story but I have one thing that doesn't seem to make sense to me. Harry is all mourning over Sirius, then goes down, gets a snack and everything is cool and he's moved onto the prophecy. Sorta weird.

 

I like the fact that this fic is original but what will harry do after his traning he doesnt have many choices it will probouly end up abanded sadly

 

It will be explained eventually. Basically, for now, Harry is avoiding the issue. Sooner or later (I already know when actually as I have most of the plot written down) Harry will have to confront the problem... along with a few others.

 

I really like this fic. Definitely recommend.

I don't mind a Harry that gets stronger/powered/supered quickly which seems like the most logical complaint (like ip said). It's got such a nice characterization of the lucky, goofy Harry with a wild imagination crossed with a skilled, independent, confident Harry.

The scene where he thought there was a demon downstairs, or his admission that he did lose a few hairs on his arm cracked me up and endeared me to this Harry. This is one who thrives and loves the excitement, not agonizes in fear and worry over the danger. He's not a deep enough guy to concern hiimself with fear or panic. It's almost like his naivete and innocence (and arguably stupidity) give him an advantage.

Good fic. Go read if you haven't.

 

Updated

I feel so loved, I updated by the way... even though I'm not really pleased with the chapter. Oh well, I have the next one planned out a bit better than I had this one. Next update should be whenever I get to it... most likely tomorrow.

Oh and...

I don't plan on abandoning the fic. I already have the whole plot outlined... as well as most of the subplots... and their corrosponding dates within the fic... and how they interact with eachother... and how each character will come to play out. So I figure that I've already put too much work into it to abandon it.

Edit: I read in some thread the other day about how everybodies fic was in the 'slash, vampiros y veelas.' C2 group... well I just checked and so is mine now... I havn't even mentioned slash, vampires, or veelas once yet... so I'm just a bit confused.

 

Re: Updated

No mean to offend just saying from alot of experince glad to see your'e continuing love the fic

 

The way you write Harry is definably different. Most fics in which Harry is a badass has him as a cold overly powerful type. This seems to show a more relaxed, powerful, lucky and quick thinking Harry.

Most stories I’ve read have Harry doing what he has to do because he has to. He’s destined to fight Voldie so he becomes very serious about it and trains hard. Here he likes the thrill of battle and also likes the challenge it presents. A very different Harry and a lot more fun to read.

Great job!

P.S. I loved the part where he crashed throught the window.

 

I love the fic. He's going all crazy and it rules. About how the receptionist ruined the mood? What about the house elf? Crazily weird Harry rules.

 

Yes I enjoy this Harry much more, he seems less forced. I also enjoyed the fact that I felt I could not wait to read the next chapter, which is rare for me. Also only a few fics have actually made me do this.

 

I'm glad to see that you all are enjoying my fic. I finished chapter eleven... and I'll put it up some time tomorrow morning. I'm much more pleased with this chapter than the last. There's a bit less humor but I wasn't as distracted when I wrote it (I was in the middle of AP testing when I wrote Ch. 10) so it should flow a little better.

Any kind of criticism is welcome, I do read it and take most of it into consideration when I write.

 

I didn't like the Dumbledore/Harry interaction. It made Dumbledore the All-knowing wise old coot, with Harry as his stupid little puppy. I also don't like how Harry bases his entire Unspeakable career on beating Voldemort as apposed to actually finding a job he enjoys. Also, Harry doesn't seem very intelligent, it gets annoying to see him say "Uh" over and over. That said, it's got a nice plot and has been reasonably entertaining. I look foward to reading more. Sorry for seeming semi-overlycritical, I do enjoy the story, just don't like how those parts seem (to me).

 

So far I really enjoyed the story. I don't mind if Harry seems too powerful as long as it's not exaggerated.
And his interaction with Dumbledore: Well I would've prefered that the relationship between Dumbledore and Harry was still damaged. But this is just my opinion.

 

Well, in Harry's opinion, beating Voldemort is his job right now. After that he could transfer to wherever he wanted in the DoM... Harry is intellegent, he's just not used to dealing with adults like they're equals so he's a bit hesitant at times. You'll notice that he dosn't have as many awkward pauses later on in the story.

Harry's relationship with Dumbledore is still strained. He was getting along with him at the time because they weren't talking about anything important. If Dumbledore had insited on training Harry or talking about the prophecy then he would have most likely gotten mad. You'll see a little more Harry and Dumbledore interaction in later chapters, and it won't always be as pleasant as their first conversation.

 

chapters 1-4

this is my feeling on the first four chapters
i really didnt like chapter four at all, while you had the same style as the other
chapters dumbledore was way out of character- he knew what was going on and he didnt try to interfere, while he is not evil, he is a control freak, i could see him chatting on about inane things over tea and crumpets, but it would be for a purpose, or a way to get harry to come round to his way of thinking. you had him readily accept the decsision of not attending hogwarts without any arguement, i do hope there is some explaination of that somewhere down the plot. i liked how you have legitimized the quibbler, i
have never read that before. harry joining the unspeakables is the perfect opportunity to distance himself from his friends, i really hope that is the way you take this story. while hermione may offer assistance up to a point i dont believe all that crap about her being the smartest witch in the world that you read in so many fanfics, she is the smart for her age. both weasels would only be a hindrance to his training, one going on about quidditch or chess, while the other tries to put another notch in the bedpost *cough ginslut cough*. it didnt bother me that he didnt grieve, well obsess, over sirius overlong, he is young and children bounce back rather quickly. while it may be a sore spot for a while i think it would be more out of character to have him waste away in a fit of depression than to seek out a way for vengance. overall not to bad for a begining, i do hope the later chapters gain a little in length. it does improve the story going into detail to provide a feeling for the story, allow harry's mood to flow into the story. so far in the first four chapters it has a rushed feel to it, days slipping by as harry tries to wrap his mind around the delima he is in following his last term. now harry has to finalize his decision whether or not to continue his education in formal schooling or jump into the adult world, with the decision to enter the dept of mysteries the feel of the story should reflect a more grown up version of harry, the putting away of childish behavior and more than likely the sacrifice
of his childhood friends. i do hope that you continue your efforts, and look forward to reading the rest of your story.

 

Gabriel, please use that blasted Enter key.

Btw Dumbledore being a control freak is not even Canon... lol were'd you get that idea? He's basing it off of canon, not other independent stories. Also, try reading the whole thing before you start point out negatives n' such.

Hell, Ron or Hermione haven't even apeared if I recall, as well as Ginny. You really cant point fingers there.

Also his A/N says no ships. and last but not least, please use some better grammar, like capitalization.

 

I can't get to the fic.

Did the nazis over at FF remove it?

 

Nope it's still there (I just checked, your post freaked me out)
Harry Potter: Enigma at Work

BTW, Myst, thanks for adressing some of the issues I was going to get to with that... long post.

Harry will still be friends with his... err friends, but it won't be the same as it was. (You'll be happy to know that we won't see much of Ginny) He's going to take Dubledore's advice on this one and still visit every once and a while. They were his only two friends for five years... it would be unrealistic of him to just give up on them. Besides, they have their uses for my plot.

As for Dumbledore, I explained that in my last post. I'd also like to point out that Dumbledore may be attempting to manipulate Harry, just because I don't flat out state something as fact dosn't mean it isn't happening (This applies to everything else as well). I try to write like that so that I don't overly foreshadow, think of my fic as part mystery as well.

 

Myst
I quantified my statements at the begining by stating this is my opinion.
I was not trying to please anyone or stating facts, just a subjective review
on the story as I see it. While harry's friends have not made an appearance,
the author has made mention of them several times by comparing other characters to them. There was no finger pointing or insinuation of anything,
just making my humble opinion known. If you are not interested in the opinions of others than I think you are in the wrong place, as this is a collection of just that.