1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP Hogwarts Strike Team by Myricle - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Ghosthree3, Mar 3, 2015.

  1. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,231
    The story had a few updates, the latest two chapters posted yesterday.

    With these two chapters the story seems to change its direction with an at least 90 degree turn.

    Suddenly, omniscient!Dumbledore: The reader learns that Dumbledore knows about Harry and Hermione sneaking out of Hogwarts, performing magic with circumventing the trace. He assumes or is sure that they are responsible for at least Lucius' death, and the new DADA-teacher is a triple agent by Dumbledore, informing him of everything that happens in their lessons.

    I am not sure if I should take this as totally unbelievable or as a proof of Harry's naivité concerning his surroundings and the whole endeavor.

    The second development came as much out of the blue, at least for me:

    Suddenly Harry feels bad about killing all these Death Eaters, especially Malfoy and Nott. It's as if the author has read Chime's post above and turned over parts of Harry because of it - or did I miss something beforehand?

    Now Hermione appears to be the really ruthless part of the duo, arguing for the 'greater good'. This development has a lot of potential, but I doubt the author is able to handle it.

    I honestly don't know where the author intents to go with this story and meanwhile I doubt he knows it himself.
     
  2. Ghosthree3

    Ghosthree3 Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2012
    Messages:
    775
    Location:
    Australia
    Yeah I'm not sure how to take it either.

    On the one hand I like that Dumbledore is being shown to be quite passive yet knows what's going on more than you think he does. On the other hand how far do they have to go before he steps in and asks them what's going on, I mean as far as he's still concerned they're actually children.

    I kind of liked that Harry regretted killing Malfoy and Nott, he notes that they may never have rejoined Voldemort if they were given the chance not to and perhaps all he's done is robbed two families of their fathers. Which is a fair point and you have to wonder at what point they're doing more harm than good. I don't agree with feeling bad about the others they took out though, Harry doesn't seem to either, in fact he seems to feel bad that he doesn't feel bad about those. This I'm not sure I agree with, I don't want him turning into a saint.

    I was enjoying the divide between Harry and Hermione for a while but I think it might have been taken a little far. Despite being completely and utterly wrong Hermione still seems to think she's right about everything which doesn't really make any sense. She's supposed to be smart, but she's taken it to a new level where she doesn't think anyone else is. Not sure how much further the author is going to take that, hell she could be on the road to be the next Grindelwald.
     
  3. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Messages:
    5,129
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Ugh. This fic.Somewhat of a good premise. Somewhat.

    But Hermione. You can't get past her. You just can't get past how much of a complete and utter bitch she is. She got into one argument with Ron because she asked him to leave his family when they had just gone through a crisis, and he refused because I dunno he wanted to spend time with his grief stricken family for some reason.

    So what does she do? She doesn't loop him in her plans to go back in time to prevent everything from happening. Why? Because her feelings were hurt.

    What the author can't see is that Ron is not only her boyfriend, but Harry's best friend. And Harry, like he continues to do throughout the fic, takes it like the wimp he is because Hermione is always right. Even though she's not.

    Harry never had any family, Ron and Hermione were the closest things he ever had. How he lets Hermione leave Ron behind is beyond me. And then there's the angst when they get back ("oh he's not the Ron I loved, he's different").

    The whole thing with Hermione using legilimency is also annoying, especially with the "shields" that Harry has. Just once, I want people to stop writing Occlumency like a physical barrier in the mind and more like having complete control over what the invading person sees. Use it as a way to hide the fact that you know they're using legilimency against you. It never made sense to me. If Voldemort used legilimency against Snape and encountered shields stopping him, he'd order him to get rid of them, or he'd just smash them into bits. The only way Snape could have been his spy for so long is if he let Voldemort think that he wasn't hiding anything.

    Of course the legilimency is more annoying since the author basically uses it as a substitute for a soul bond telepathy.

    And jesus, they're actually acting like they're 11 in this fic with all the fights they're having. People change, that's just how life is. Why is it that Harry can't do what he wants without Hermione all up on his dick acting like he's ruining who he is?

    This fic falls into the same pit every other HHr fic falls into: stupid way of pushing Ron out of the way, and Hermione controlling everything because she's so goddamn smart and beautiful. Even though she looked like a beaver before GoF.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2015
  4. Ghosthree3

    Ghosthree3 Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2012
    Messages:
    775
    Location:
    Australia
    I agree she's pretty bitchy, especially in the latest few chapters. But that's not the reason she didn't rope Ron in to go back in time, it was because it had been literally years since she or Harry had even spoke to him. They didn't even know him any more.

    This is actually used in chapter 18, not the chapter listed as 18 but /18/ - I hate prologues messing the chapters up. Which I thought was pretty neat.

    I could be wrong but I disagree here, they actually go out of their way to include Ron. Or Harry does at least. I don't know how many chapters you've read or if it was just the first couple but I think you've interpreted this incorrectly myself.

    I agree here though, but unlike most stories this actually seems to be getting plot relevance and is shown to be a fault not blindly passed over like she's always right.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2015
  5. Download

    Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2014
    Messages:
    640
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    High Score:
    1918
    Something about the last few chapters has put me off reading it.
     
  6. StrawberryPingu

    StrawberryPingu Second Year

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2013
    Messages:
    51
    I've been following this story myself, and I think the last two chapters will be the turning point of the story; either it comes out of this awesome and great, or it turns to shit real fast. It all depends on how the author decides to handle the direction of the story, based on the couple of bombs she dropped in the last two chapters.
     
  7. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Messages:
    5,129
    Location:
    Atlanta


    I've read up to just past the troll incident. I had to stop after Harry was so stupid as to let an 11 year old (I'm assuming Draco) sneak up on him. I don't like reading stories where he's that inept, especially when he was shown to be somewhat intelligent in brief spurts before.

    My point with Ron was that in order to make Harry and Hermione get together, they had to push older Ron out of the picture. The way the author did that was make Harry and Hermione essentially abandon him because Hermione was a cunt. This way they can go back into the past without him, opening up the door for the Harry/Hermione soul bond shit. This also stops past Ron from ever falling for Hermione, as Harry is the one that "first" is with her.

    2 years really isn't that long of a time for friends to be apart, especially when you're as close as Harry and Ron. And remember, Harry tried to go see Ron and the Weasley's -- Hermione, again, was too much of a bitch to go. It all comes back to her asshole tendencies.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2015
  8. S1234567890m

    S1234567890m Third Year

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2014
    Messages:
    82
    Why would she want to go back after how she and Ron parted ways last time? ("More of my family just died and you want to go camping?" Which were all reasonable reactions/objections from a grieving and depressed person)
     
  9. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Messages:
    5,129
    Location:
    Atlanta
    The hell kind of question is that?

    Ron is Harry and Hermione's best friend. That means more than just a random person who you argued with.

    Harry didn't argue with him at all.

    Why would Hermione go back? Because she's not the only person that matters in the world. Harry matters. Ron matters. She ignored this and made the decision without Harry to abandon Ron.

    The reason the author did this is exactly what I stated above: for Harry and Hermione to get this soul bond thing and be together, Ron had to be out of the picture. The way the author broke them apart just makes Hermione out to be an unrepentant asshole, though. Much better if Ron had died or something.
     
  10. Hiraelle

    Hiraelle Third Year

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2015
    Messages:
    104
    I liked the last couple chapters. It has potential to get very good, so I hope the author has planned what he wants to do with this (I seem to remember there was a little foreshadowing concerning parts of what happens, so I hope it was planned from the beginning).
    It could also go downhill fast depending on how it's handled. But the turn the story takes is interesting at least.

    It's especially nice that Harry finally stops following Hermione blindly and puts his foot down regarding her bitchy attitude and her actions.
     
  11. trollolol

    trollolol Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    103
    Well, Hermione has been a bit of a cunt for the entire story, and in the last few chapters she has become a Super Cunt™ to the extent that I basically have to skip over the parts that involve her.

    For me, the most unbelievable part of the story, more unbelievable than the idea of fucking magic itself, is Harry or anyone for that matter being cool with Hermione being in their head. I mean, even for one second. That's the sort of thing that in reality if you ever caught anyone doing, you would punch them right in the face and never go anywhere near them again.

    I hope the author repairs Hermione, stops Harry being a bitch, and they get back to the good parts of the story. This whole year has been a bit shit tbh.
     
Loading...