I won't tell you what's going to happen, but I am pleased that I lay down enough information for people to come up with a number of theories.

It is somewhat annoying when I read a story and the author stumbles over trying to foreshadow plot points only to give them away and/or support support a completely different conclusion from the one he intended.

I've tried hard not to botch it too bad, and the hints are few and rather far between, but I think that people will get it when I finally reveal what's going on, which is good to know.

As most of you have figured out, Naruto did not lie about being ordered to dress as he does. He doesn't like to lie.

His outfit is not a fashion statement.

 

I also just realized that you are writing what seems to be a Rin'negan!Naruto story along with HotH.

Now that's interesting.

Please write more.

 

Yeah, was just reading the second chapter, it's pretty good as well. A bit angsty I thought with all that mask-coming-off stuff, but I suppose that comes with the territory - I remember Nagato doing the same in canon after his rin'negan was revealed. So, two stories from you to look forward to now.

Just one nitpick - it's not 'anyways' it's 'anyway'.

Edit:

While explaining how he discovered the specialty of the KB, the transition was too seamless. There should be some more tangible surprise on Naruto's part, it is a rather strange experience after all.

 

I tried to keep the angst light, but frankly it had to be a sort of front and center for this chapter. I promise it won't pop up too much in the future, but I had to find a reason to take his character in a different direction from canon and quick.

Naruto's change in character wasn't very well done and certainly wasn't very realistic, but I don't have the patience to work my way through it for this story. I wanted to get past all of that quickly.

Naruto doesn't care what people think of him anymore and is going to be better off because of it, as strange as that sounds.

One thing I will say though is that one of the abilities of the Rinnegan isn't to turn those who have it into introspective, angsty douchebags.

 

^^ Wild may well need its own thread soon.

antichrist!Sage of the Six Paths?

What?

 

I'll put it this way.

Sage of the Six Paths was the only guy ever said to possess the Rinnegan, yet due to him it was said to have the power to bring the world peace and prosperity or plunge it into ruin.

Creation and destruction, yet he was only ever stated to be the founder of the current ninja world.

So what came before the ninja world?

 

*blinkblink*

xD Ic Ic.

 

Samurai World? Don't forget the SotSP brought ninjutsu to the world and, in your own words, ninja are more like powerful battle mages.

Samurai + Battle Magic = Ninja ?

 

Whenever the author decide to update it his other story it will be fun see what naruto can do with rinnegan and this one does not have god complex. Since Naruto does not care anymore what anyone think I wondering how people will reacted to him now?

 

I was thinking more along the lines of a world where things like radios, televisions, security cameras, and computers are commonplace and not only used by high ranking or well connected ninjas (i.e. the elite).

What would that world be like, I wonder?

And what would happen if someone who could use incredible battle magic with ease was born into it and didn't like what he saw?

 

Cheers!

 

Since Naruto seem to have gotten deep subterfuge mission from pain being sent to konoha right now lasting unknown length of time I wonder how he will be bending the truth when third hokage find out he back? Is he going be a good actor as Kabuto was fooling everyone in village all those years working for snake sannin? I hope he has a good cover story to tell third hokage.

 

This has been one of my favorites since it's onset. The writing is very good, with only minimal errors. The premise is interesting, and above all, I can get a visual from the story. Even in the fight scenes, which in most stories are too complex and drawn out to follow and visualize precisely. Above all else though, is the characterization of Pain. He is as stoic as he is presented in canon, but he seems more human, more how I would imagine canon Pain to be if he were alotted more screen-time.

The new story, Wild World, is already on my "look-out" list. I'm loathe to read it is merely a side-project, but it is a very interesting idea, one that I'm sure will be copied to death.

 

I'm glad you like the fight scenes.

One of my biggest pet peeves in fanfiction is that authors write scenes that seem good to them but simply confuse the rest of us.

Throwing in technical things like "he threw a mule kick, flipped to his right foot, did a cross-whatsy-whatnow, leaned back into a handstand and spun into a triple dutch-dodgy-sweeper" frankly makes no damn sense to me.

So I tend to skip over it.

A few authors also tend to drag out a fight for far, far too long - which was one of my main concerns when writing the Hanzou/Pain fight. I tried my best to break it up by switching to Naruto's perspective throughout it in intervals to that it didn't become overly tedious, and people seemed to have enjoyed it.

That, for me, has probably been my greatest achievement in this story so far.

A lot of authors try to recreate the suspense and deception shown in the manga. I just don't think that all of the substitutions and clones and general trickery translates well into the written word. All it does is to confuse the reader - which is why I tried to leave most of that out of my battle.

We all know how fast and strong and tricky high level ninjas can be. I just don't think that sort of thing needs to be tossed around in a written fight. Makes my head spin.

I'll definitely need to be careful further down the line when I start incorporating genjutsu and whatnot into the battles.

I know lots of people enjoy genjutsu and the twists it allows, but I've read too many fics where the author tries to be too damn clever and ends up confusing me and ultimately ruining the fight.


As far as Wild World goes, right now it's pretty much a laundry list of cliches - not that that can really be helped since pretty much every original idea has been done before. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first to write a Rinnegan!Naruto and super-bloodline!Naruto has been done for a long time now.

Right now I'm thinking of writing it as a selfish Naruto who isn't actually a bad guy. You don't have to be evil to put yourself first, and you don't have to be a rotten bastard either.

Basically he'll be the opposite of Pain, who while willing to sacrifice anything to achieve his goal of universal peace, ultimately becomes a villain. Naruto will be a selfish hero, who while not happy with the status quo won't go out of his way to change everything unless it benefits him.

Even I'm not sure how that's going to turn out.

 

Unfortunately I got turned off by genjutsu entirely after the utterly horrible Uchiha fight. Ma and Pa's Frog song is the only one that's really impressed me

Surprisingly Rinnegan!Naruto hasn't really been done that much, unlike Sharingan!Naruto. I think I've only come across it once and that author kept misspelling Rinnegan constantly.

 

I personally have never seen Rinnegan!Naruto. I've actually not read any new Naruto stories. I stick to the ones in my "library", whilst "working" on my own fic.

 

Well basically how I have always view naruto character in manga he seem have gotten right tools and means to become powerful. Some reason whatever author of manga does he never became that powerfully. To many example from manga to point out it nice to read one where he think about his own needs first and what he wants for himself. It nice to see in this story naruto having means by having rinnegan and different attitude think about his own needs. Back to main story Howdy is writing considering what I read so far in story does anyone think that naruto is going have split loyalties later on between konoha and Pain?

 

Chapter 9 is now up.

You'll all have to forgive me for a second filler chapter. I can only assure you that I was just as eager to move past these two chapters as the rest of you are, but they needed to be written.

Hopefully the relatively quick updates will help you stomach the horror.

I promise that the next chapter will be more fun. There's fighting involved, amiright?

 

It isn't bad for a filler chapter. It was interesting to see the interactions between Naruto and the Rookie 9 as well as his own team, even if not much happened. I'm sure the action in the next chapter will more than make up for the filler it takes to get there. Hoping for another quick update.

 

I like it!

I'm going to assume that Naruto stopped the sound attack by 'solifying' the air around him. The other way would be creating a thin layer of vacuum around him, but that would be visible due slight distortion of light. How strong is this barrier of immobile air he creates around him? Can it do more than stop soundwaves?

It's difficult to write enjoyable fight scenes when the combatants are on completely different power levels. Gaara is probably the only one who has even a miniscule chance of beating Naruto.