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[WIP] I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - by Kathryn518 - M - HP/SW

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Revlisflow, Jan 15, 2017.

  1. Revlisflow

    Revlisflow Muggle

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    Title: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
    Author: Kathryn518
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure Comedy
    Status: WIP
    Library Category: The Alternatives
    Pairings: None so far, but looking like future Harry/many
    Summary:Ahsoka Tano left the Jedi Order, walking away after their betrayal. She did not consider the consequences of what her actions might bring, or the danger she might be in. A chance run in with a single irreverent, and possibly crazy, person in a bar changes the course of fate for an entire galaxy.

    Link:FanFiction.Net

    I'm going to honest here. This is an overpowered Harry story. Immortal Master of Death, can cause natural disasters with magic. And a pervert. Flirting and making innuendo with just about every female.

    That being said, there is a lot of comedy here. Constant pranks and joking. Harry thumbing his nose at the Jedi Order. Dobby is also in the story and that little bugger is always doing or saying something hilarious.

    And despite all of the crass jokes and flirting, the romance seems to be developing at a believable pace. After 15 chapters, 300k words and around 3 months in story time, there has only been the beginnings of developing feelings, and no telling when anyone will start to act on those feelings. It is looking to be a Harry/multi, but the author as stated that just because a female character is added to the story, does not mean they and Harry will hook up.

    It's a long story, reasonably well written, hilarious. So far Harry being overpowered kinda lowers the danger they can be in, but there are still a number of good action scenes. I give it a 4 of 5.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2017
  2. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Always a good sign.
    Could potentially work I suppose.
    Eh ... I could maybe kinda see it ... I guess.
    Ah. It's that kind of story. Right then.


    Oh? Do go on.
    Ah, yes. Carrying on the family heritage of pranking, no doubt. Because we all know Harry is a joker and prankster by nature. Nothing like a good, over the top practical joke and cringy jokes from unfunny authors to make a good story.

    My personal favorite! Thumping your nose at whichever body of people represent authority and some measure of stability and control. The perfect way to show how independent and rebellious a character is. I'm practically sold already.
    If I wasn't sold before, I am now. Immortal Dobby is certainly a fine addition to any decent fanfic.
    Impeccable pacing! Nice and detailed, and probably to be abandoned well before the author has to write anything actually resembling an actual, meaningful relationship, which is probably too much to ask of someone with presumably no exposure to any such.



    Really, you're amazing at selling stories. This one sounds like a proper gem.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2017
  3. Rehio

    Rehio Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    This post was better than the story.
     
  4. Gene

    Gene Third Year

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    It had some potential, and then, quite suddenly, it squandered it. I suspect the death knell was Harry teaching star wars characters magic, but it might have been the polygamy.

    2/5; it's at least somewhat competently written, and had a few good ideas.
     
  5. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    That's the consensus on IRC. It's the reason I started writing Equilibrium, because the author was doing it wrong.
     
  6. Anarchy

    Anarchy Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    This story is really bad. I've tried to read it a few times and have never gotten more than half way in, and my eyes glaze over for a large amount of it. I just don't like the actual story telling, and it's very formulaic. You have Harry doing something super awesome (magicwank nonsense is how its portrayed). Then, you immediately have 3 things happening in response - 1) Ahsoka is completely okay with it and excited to see something new. 2) Aayla is conflicted in her feelings. 3)Jedi are condemning of whatever it is. Rinse and repeat for every single chapter and every single thing Harry does.
     
  7. Trig

    Trig Auror

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    This story could have been written by Jeconais—it's bad, but I'm still going to read the next chapter.
     
  8. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Slug Club Member

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    It had potential but all these long meaningless dialogues, lack of pacing/tension and eccentric but boring Harry killed that somewhere. This and her DC story suffer from far too many useless characters. Her chapter sizes are surely top notch.

    ----
    Unfortunately she seems to have given up on "I'm still here". IMHO clearly her best work as it has a plot which flows, substance and really interesting characters(Flamels) I can overlook a few inconsistencies and some looming weaknesses. She actually managed to write an interesting, tragic and believable Draco.
     
  9. DrSarcasm

    DrSarcasm Auror

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    I came across this story earlier. The fact that the third paragraph had Ahsoka jealously comparing her bust to that of the bartenders threw up a red flag for me that this story wasn't going to go anywhere important, interesting, or intelligent.
     
  10. Donimo

    Donimo DA Member

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    As with all Kathryn518 fics I read it, but I don't like it.
     
  11. Pirazy

    Pirazy Groundskeeper

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    Surprised Harry hasn't died from asphyxiation due to how high he's stacked his soapboxes.

    It's guilty pleasure at best and written in the same slightly annoying style as the authors timetravel/alternate dimension fic where it just drones on and on for thousands of words but fucking nothing of interest is happening. I'll just recycle that line I used for that fic since it appears to fit everything the author has ever written.

    "Never before has so little been said with so many words."
     
  12. Deftex

    Deftex Second Year

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    It's a SW/HP crossover. That's pretty much all it has going for it besides the chapter length which doesn't matter much since it's basically all spent with Harry/Dobby/His 2 wives' portraits/the Sorting Hat making references no Star Wars character will understand or him adding some new character to his growing harem.

    Please.
     
  13. Thaumologist

    Thaumologist Minister of Magic

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    It's like a Noodlehammer fic. If you can turn your brain off, and just enjoy the ride, it's not too bad.

    There's a lot of ideas, and the author is definitely familiar with the setting, which is always a plus. Also, the writing is technically decent, and typos are rare. Chapters are big, but don't come that frequently, which is a bit of a let down.

    It's no masterpiece, but we'e all read worse.
     
  14. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Noodlehammer seems to have a better grasp of the English language though.

    This same author has three other new fics started witch are a bit of a chore to read, and all of her fics in general bash Dumbledore and the Wizarding world up the wazoo.

    At best this fic is a 2 star fic and after how many thousands of words the plot has barely moved forward at all.
     
  15. Majube

    Majube Seventh Year

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    Complains about language and has incorrect grammar themselves :nyan:
    The story's alright I guess, as a time-waster. I'd rate it no more then 3 for original ideas.
    So I've only watched 3 star wars movies, how is the crossover stuff for those who know it well?
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2017
  16. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    I've never claimed to be great at spelling and grammar myself, but some things are glaringly obvious.
     
  17. Majube

    Majube Seventh Year

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    Would you say that's what made the difference between 2/5 and 3/5 for you?
     
  18. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    Yes I would say so. Part of spelling and grammar is being able to get your idea across without being too long winded and not being to short with your writing either. I find that in some of her battle scenes I have to go back and reread parts of the dialog to follow who is speaking to who and who gets killed.

    If she was able to clean that up more I'd seriously consider moving my rating up to 4/5 stars. To me 3/5 stars means that I can read a fic without having to go back and reread it to understand what the author is saying even if the cliches are a bit much.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2017
  19. Hymsicality

    Hymsicality Second Year

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    It's ostensibly focused on romance but it's been 300,000 words of blushing and a whole lot of nothing but collecting his future harem. Also, harem, really? This is Harry standing on his soapbox changing everything that his students believe until they inevitably become pale imitations of himself; it's narcissism at best, sexual grooming at worst. But beyond even that it's just boring. 1/5
     
  20. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw System God Admin

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    [​IMG]

    Ho-hum everything goes Harry's way harem fic. It had so much potential and wasted it within the first 100k words. If you're going to build a harem, you might as well just go for it. I like the way Hymsicality put it, "300k words of blushing" because that's exactly what it's been. The cringey sexual harassment version of Harry just hurts to read and the plot (just like Harry's relationships, not to mention his immense baggage) is going nowhere. You could say The Empire is the antagonist but there's really been no movement on that front beyond the Kashyyyak incident which was boring as it was forgettable.

    2/5, because it's still readable if you're wanting to waste a day, but there's many other things you could be doing. Like watching paint dry.

    Despite this I still read the updates, much to my despair.
     
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