Title: Kira Orior
Author: Dominus L (Myself)
Rating: T
Genre: Supernatural/Mystery
DLP Category: The Alternates
Pairing: None
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: The human whose name is written in this note shall die.' Harry Potter didn't believe this at first. The power of the simple notebook proved him wrong. Harry Potter will become justice. Harry Potter will become Kira. Crossover with Death Note.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3617210/1/

A little idea that's been nagging at my mind. I don't know how often I'll update, but I have two chapters up so far and am working on the third. I managed to come up with some ideas so Harry doesn't win too easily.

 

Hmm...sounds like an interesting idea. If you do it right, then it could turn into a moral dilemma-type fic.

 

That line from deathbook is such a bad translation, hito.

 

Ah! a lot of us wanted to see a cross over when the Death Note craze took us. I'll check it out and review it later. Curious to see someone actually attempt this, seeing as IMO it isn't the best cross over verse for HP.

 

o.o

That happened to have been my idea for JBern's e-peen contest from... way back when. Working on it now (plot wise and how to execute it). Maybe later in the month I may put it out.

But as far as yours goes, eh. 3/5. Its a good idea, and but your execution needs some work. Chapters are too short, but from what I glanced over, I didnt see any really glazring mistakes so a point for you. If you polished it up and gave a bit more thought to it it could easily be a lot better.

 

Crudely executed so far, but it has promise. Polish it a bit and it'll be worth watching. 3/5

 

I honestly didn't like it that much.

A think that I have a problem with, is the fact that Harry is stupid enough to kill all of his relatives and Mundungus. Since he is the only survivor it would make him a higly suspicious.

His personality change is also a bit aprupt. Killing Death eaters - yeah sure. But killing innocents, or even Members of the Order is a bit of a stretch.

Another thing that I dislike is the fact that he learns Occlumency within weeks. Tibetian Monks that meditate daily for years aren't able to reach that level .

 

I agree with ghst.san: Harry's killing just goes too far. I mean, the Dursley's deaths are at least plausible in that he hated them enough to justify it. But Mundungus? I don't think so. Maybe if it were an Order member like Snape, who he actually dislikes . . .

Other than that, I liked it well enough. With perhaps less over the top killing it will be superior.

3/5

 

well, i haven't seen any cross-over of potter-death note. the story while original, is not very interesting. esp when harry starts to kill everyone. 3/5