If we're rapping...what beat should I listen to as I read your summary?

 

This is the thread I've needed in my life. I love reading shitty fics.

Just a couple of days ago I had the fortune to find a story where Voldemort "regains his sanity" and ADOPTS HARRY. Through legal means! Everyone involved was fully aware that he was Voldemort, and yet through the power of plot contrivance were all powerless to stop it.

Of course, poor traumatised Harry didn't know a damn thing about Voldemort's miraculous turn to the good side, so when he gets sent against his will to the Ministry he naturally thinks he's about to die. I was already thinking that was a dick move on Voldemort's part - but then, right as he's completing the adoption papers, the author happily explains that through adopting him via these binding magical documents Voldemort also renames Harry to Henry.

I closed the window and just couldn't stop laughing. This man just adopted and renamed this poor kid entirely against his will, presumably just because he can. Just goes to show that even reformed, Voldemort is pure 100% evil.

 

Would it be too much of a cheap shot to just post a link to Piece of Shit--- pardon, I mean Prince of Slytherin?

 

Are you thinking about this Fic?

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/11540013/1/Benefits-of-old-laws

 

While this is truly bad, Zombie, I humbly offer up Kinsfire's Forever Yours, and Yours? as the worst the fandom has to offer.

The quick summary is that it's a bog-standard Kinsfire incest fic starring Harry, Hermione, and Hermione's mother. Hermione has a thing for her mother's body (she was breast-fed). At one point, Harry literally fucks Hermione's mother into becoming a witch because of Harry's potent magic[al penis]. The has everything we've come to expect with Kinsfire: horridly done Harry/Multi, the least sexy smut since 99 Shades,

manufactured angst through "woe is me, I love you both" idiocy, white-knight Harry, Hermione being hit on by her father (who, apparently, can't tear his eyes away from her breasts), said father being evil because his infidelity with a younger woman crosses a moral event horizon (whereas Hermione's mother getting it on with Harry and own daughter is morally praiseworthy), and a "cliffhanger" ending, the big "reveal" being that after a night of drunken debauchery, the two Granger witches find themselves impregnated by Harry's magic[al penis].

 

That is truly bad but not the worst.

 

I remember that fic. It was one of the first HP fanfics I read.

It almost put me off fanfiction entirely.

 

Indeed, he was one of the authors I stumbled upon early in my fanfic reading as well (sometime after binge-reading @Taure's first stage of fanfiction, canon-compliant Harry/Ginny). I credit his work with my generally despising Harry/multi stories.

I picked one out of several by that author that could have been slotted as "worst." As I recall, we used to have the Kinsfire rating for stories that were beyond dreadful: https://forums.darklordpotter.net/threads/kinsfire-dreadful-poor-acceptable-and-myth.5086/

Edit: not sure what's up with the editor inserting all this spontaneous font-changing.

 

Man, I was introduced to HP Fanfic by a person that absolutely adored Kinsfire, Bobmin, robst, and a host of other notorious writers from that era. Thankfully I snapped out of that in short order, and eventually steered her into greener pastures as well.

 

I can imagine it just fine. A serious scientist who, after a long day of work in the lab and taking care of his family, takes a bottle of horrible wine (good one would be wasted on this) into a dark basement, and finds amusement in what that other, reviled part of society is up to. It must have been a bit like going slumming.

 

I read that to see if it was as bad as you said it was, it was not as bad, it was worse.

Aside from the blatant OOCness from the characters, the romance was one of the worst I ever read. And it's only four chapters, thank God for that.

 

But in my opinion, the worst fanfic would be Dipper Goes To Taco Bell. It's not HP but Gravity Falls.

My Warning is: DON'T READ IT, EVER.

I couldn't even complete it because I nearly threw up, never touched that ever.

For HP fanfics, I don't have one, cause I like most of the fics, if they are well written, and if they are not and full of cliches, I just laugh. There are no HP fanfics that I hate.

 

Sorry, but as a stranger to Gravity Falls except for some few episodes, and only reading this story when I wanted to some fics like My Immortal and 30Hs, I can't really say about tropes and such.

But if you ask me why I hate this, the simple reason is that it's totally gross and disgusting. There is no plot, just that Dipper goes to Taco Bell when the others are out, suddenly gets diarrhea, poops in his pants, goes to the bathroom and wanks off, drink his semen, eats his crap and so on. Oh, and the waiter kills him and uses his body for making food, I think.

I don't remember the website in which it was found, though it is most probably watt pad, or you can just Google it.

 

As a stranger to Gravity Falls one extra thing you should note is that Dipper and Mabel are twelve year-old fraternal twins.

Current link here: https://pastebin.com/EdeaWwTa

Used to be on FFN but probably got taken down.

Disgusting in so many ways but it was obviously written for shock value so I wouldn't call it the worst I've ever read.

That title would be reserved for something the author genuinely wrote seriously and thought was good. I don't remember many of those types of fics as they all blend together and these days I never read them past the first few paragraphs. But one I do is A Second Chance for Love by Xeniah1999 which I haven't read in years but I believe it starts out as a typical bad H/G Soul Bond fic but gets worse and worse the longer it goes on. It was one of the first fics I read when I was 12 and amazingly enough back then I liked it. Thankfully my standards have improved a lot.

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5780467/1/