Hm, I've arrived at this party a bit late.

Basically, I'm flogging a dead horse, but I might as well as give this fic a review. It probably doesn't need one, considering that much of the criticism is already self-evident in the threat rating. But maybe giving it a decent (but honest) review will help move this fic away from the Library. :/

The first point I'll raise is the bad grammar and spelling. It's appalling in large parts. I don't have the patience to reiterate every sodding mistake, but I'll try to find examples for each type of grammatical mistake redfury has made.

Capitalisations:

Missing Commas:

Comma Splice:

Run-on sentences:

Incorrectly Spelt Words:

Misc. Errors:

I think I got most of the errors. Judging from merely the sheer volume of grammatical and spelling mistakes, you can tell that this story needs a good beta. I can safely say that major revision are needed, and I haven't even mentioned the cliches.

Also, please try to use words instead of numbers. "Ten times" instead of "10 times". "Twenty years" instead of "20 years".

For only a short 4500 words, this story possesses a disproportionate number of flaws. Please use Spell Check, at least.

1/5.

 

What is this doing in the library?

EDIT: I answered my own question. Sree, I hate you, you have succeeded in fucking with us, well fucking done

 

Seriously, it was bad. There is not much to say but it requires more work than you've obviously given. I don't particularly care even if it was cliche but the whole wand thing, Lily's behaviour, etc... was bad.
There is something I don't get about this whole Harry get's mistreated by his parents, is that there is always other children who are younger than Harry. Sometimes it's boy and girl, sometimes two boys and girl, sometimes its quadruplets. There is something called birth control not that Weasley's know of it. So if you're going to mistreat the child as obviously they don't like of want Hary, why go around making more. 1/5