1. Hey Guest, welcome back to DLP

    As you can see, we've changed our look. We've migrated from vBulletin to the Xenforo forum system. There may be issues or missing functionality, if you find anything or have feedback, please check out the new Xenforo Migration Feedback forum.

    Our dark ("Dark Lord Potter") theme is under heavy development. We also have a light ("Light Lord Potter") theme for those happier with a light background and darker text.

    Dismiss Notice

WIP Limpieza de Sangre by TheEndless7 - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Peter North, Aug 1, 2016.

  1. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,835
    Location:
    New Hampshire
    Title: Limpieza de Sangre

    Author: TheEndless7

    Rating: M

    Genre: Adventure? No ff.net genre

    Status: WIP

    Library Category: General so far

    Pairings: None yet. Maybe Harry/FemVoldemort

    Summary: Harry Potter always knew he'd have to fight in a Wizarding War, but he'd always thought it would be after school, and not after winning the Triwizard Tournament. Worse still, he never thought he'd understand both sides of the conflict. AU with a Female Voldemort.

    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11752324/1/Limpieza-de-Sangre

    There are so many FemHarry fics out there it's not funny, but this is the only other fic outside "Crak'd Mirrior" that features a femVoldemort. So far the writing is pretty damn good, and while I realize Endless7 has a not so great history with his "Quidditch Harry fics" this one seems like it might be pretty good perhaps like his "Pureblood Princess" fic. Whether the pairing turns out to be femVoldemort/Harry or Harry/OC muggle. I think this guy can make an interesting story out of this. I give this fic a 4/5 for now for an interesting idea and good writing.
     
  2. Triliro

    Triliro First Year

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2016
    Messages:
    42
    Location:
    Flagstaff, AZ, US
    High Score:
    0
    So far this is pretty good, though it doesn't seem to actually have that much plot, and as such not much to review. That said the writing is pretty good and the Fem!Voldemort has been done fairly well so far. I'll give it a 4/5 overall. Still waiting on this whole "Wizarding War" the summary has promised though.
     
  3. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,835
    Location:
    New Hampshire
    If the update speed was a little better it would help things immensely.
     
  4. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    I realize that there's a large amount of people here that disliked TE7's previous works, but personally I've really enjoyed his work. Even Letters. Although if I were to go back and read it again it'd be guilty pleasure material.

    I would've thought that the biggest turn off for DLP readers (if they got past the fem!Voldemort hump itself) would be how reasonable and non-curse the living daylights out of anyone who fucked up Voldemort is.

    I've discussed this with the author a lot, and there is reasoning behind it, albeit I still find Voldemort to be a little strange in this one.

    Still, it's very well written, and as someone who has read practically everything the author has written, two thumbs up from me. The mystery and connections surrounding Voldemort and a Muggle girl Harry just happens to meet named Phoebe really have me pestering TE7 about it. He's neither confirmed nor denied anything.

    I'm very much biased, but I'm also loving the twist to typical fourth-fifth year fics. So 5/5 for me.

    As for the update rate, well, I can say it's fairly erratic. Although the next update (I believe) will be later than usual because he's said that he'll be writing the epilogue to the story first.
     
  5. Anarchy

    Anarchy Prisoner DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    2,939
    Location:
    NJ
    Please tell me there's not a character named Titus Button in this. Also, for fem!voldemort, there's is "thunderstorm" by our very own T3t.
     
  6. Tyrx

    Tyrx Muggle

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2010
    Messages:
    4
    I do not need to read a detailed shower scene with a Fem!Voldemort, or Draco unintentionally flirting with Voldemort. Those scenes might be somewhat interesting in a crack fic, but the author appears to be legitimately serious about this story. Is there some kind of inside joke I'm not getting with this thread? If not, burn this thread with fire please.

    What is the reasoning? Voldemort certainty isn't the only person with characterization issues in this fic, and using the words "little strange" to describe characterization of Voldemort is putting it mild.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2016
  7. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Auror DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2011
    Messages:
    628
    Location:
    Cascadia
    This is a pretty good story - indeed, much more likeable than some of Endless7's stuff. A more rational Voldemort, regardless of gender, is kind of refreshing.

    Wasn't there something in the WBA section sometime recently with a fem!Voldemort? Something with her wanting to take a Malfoy child for some reason? That seemed promising at the time, despite me not being able to remember details.
     
  8. NuScorpii

    NuScorpii Professor

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2015
    Messages:
    434
    Not bad so far. I hope there's a good reasoning behind how she's called Lord Voldemort. Her name is unlikely to be Tom Marvolo which makes it unlikely that she'd have the same moniker unless the author has figured out another birth name that fits and still has significance.

    Some of the character voices seem off, but it hasn't been too distracting yet.

    I'll give it a tentative 4/5.
     
  9. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    158
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    I read chapter one and a bit of chapter two, and honestly, it was a struggle. E7s writing seems to have gotten worse, not better. The characterizations are simply bad, the dialogue is stilted, the prose even more so. Harry's initial conversation with voldemort makes little sense; it seems as if there's a lot of assumed knowledge that the author forgot to convey. Either that or he's trying to build up some mystery and failing miserably. I couldn't continue reading past the point where Barty drags Harry into his office - if you're redoing a canon scene, the least you can do is not make it worse.

    Feh.
     
  10. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    The author is not particularly a fan of DLP. As such, considering he did not choose to use this site to share his work, I do not feel I am at liberty to say what he told me in PM's.

    Edit: Also, personally, I found Draco flirting with Voldemort to be hilarious.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2016
  11. Tasoli

    Tasoli Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,133
    Location:
    Behind the keyboard
    Ah yes. Some people seems to get offended when their precious little plot bunnies get thrown to trash with all other dust bunnies instead of letting them litter around here.

    As far as I am concerned if someone is not fan of DLP we are not fan of them either.

    :colbert:

    Edit: Skimmed the story and I honestly don't see the hook. 2/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2016
  12. Jhyaal

    Jhyaal Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2016
    Messages:
    11
    High Score:
    0
    2/5

    This is a personal pet peeve but I dislike it when a fanfiction starts at the climactic part of the main story.

    Anyway, the writer seems to be going for a more "charismatic" Voldemort but this one just doesn't seem intimidating in the slightest. That just kills all the tension for me. The rest of the cast is pretty uninteresting as well. On top of that, the writing is forgettable at best and nothing about the plot has hooked me, even after 25k words.
     
  13. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    Quite an assumption you make there. Also, I'm pretty sure no one person speaks for the whole of DLP.

    But to avoid thread derailment, I'll go back to the story. I also did point out that Voldemort is a lot less intimidating than canon Voldemort. But it didn't kill the tension for me, it made it better actually. This means that there's going to always be a worry that Voldemort's followers will be insubordinate to her. But she has the charisma and intelligence and required caution that canon Voldemort lacks, which changes the entire dynamic of the war itself.
     
  14. Jarizok

    Jarizok Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    172
    Location:
    Malta
    There's rlly no tension to be killed. All we've seen are canon scenes and the bit in malfoy manor, and none of that was memorable or exciting to me. This is one of those fics you start to read, you read a couple of chapters because the writing is at least acceptable, and then you just move on to the next fic because there's nothing to grab and hold your attention.

    2.5/5, rounded down.
     
  15. Tasoli

    Tasoli Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,133
    Location:
    Behind the keyboard
    It is no assumption. You see I have been around some time so I know generally speaking people who don't like DLP are thin skinned people who doesn't really like criticism. DLP rarely has patiance for such people.

    I would consider this story barely readable at best. Good grammar is the only thing that seems to be going for it.
     
  16. Jhyaal

    Jhyaal Squib

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2016
    Messages:
    11
    High Score:
    0
    I don't really see it. Her resurrection ritual took place exactly like canon Voldemort's, including the same mistake he made. Her plans so far has been the same as canon Voldemort's (discredit Harry while staying hidden). She possessed Quirrell just like Voldemort did and is referred to by vague nicknames instead of name out of fear, just like Voldemort. The only different thing she has done is that letter in the latest chapter, and even that wouldn't have reached Harry if the author hadn't conveniently made him a dumb brick who thinks strolling outside once again against everyone's warnings after getting attacked by dementors once is a neat idea.

    Maybe she turns into Johan Liebert or something in the next chapter but so far, I really can't see it. If the writer wanted to have a more charismatic, cautious, and intelligent then he should have maybe spent more time actually establishing that and less time describing her clothes.
     
  17. Miner

    Miner Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    340
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    East Coast
    Anyone else see what the problem is here?
     
  18. Fatality

    Fatality Unspeakable

    Joined:
    May 4, 2011
    Messages:
    727
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    This is a surprisingly apt way of putting it. I actually don't mind a lot of TheEndless7's fics (funny, because I was just calling out some their mistakes in my last post) but this is a big problem of his. Things just go on and on but nothing ever happens. In Vitam Paratus might just have been the biggest case of blue balls I've ever received - I dare you to tell me what actually happened in that fic, because I'm still not sure.

    Despite probably more having happened in this fic than most of his last all together, I still feel like it's suffering from the same symptoms. 25k words in and what's happened? Graveyard scenes, Voldemort's a woman and operates somewhat differently to canon, Harry is at the Dursley's for the summer. All pretty close to canon, all pretty boring.

    It may get more interesting, all I know is I can't take another 200,000 words of compelling characterisation, capable writing and absolutely nothing of real interest happening. 2/5 from what I've seen so far, but I'm definitely hoping to be proven wrong.

    Edit: I do agree though that it shouldn't matter whether the author likes DLP or not. I'm sure there are plenty of talented authors who don't care for the site, that shouldn't preclude us from enjoying their fics. Yes, a lot of people don't like DLP because they got their feelings hurt but making blanket statements like "if they don't like DLP we don't like them" is a little immature.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2016
  19. Jarizok

    Jarizok Sixth Year

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2015
    Messages:
    172
    Location:
    Malta
    Oh man, Vitam Paramus... I actually loved that fic. I was intrigued all the way through, but then you look back and realize the entire plot is:
    Everyone but Harry and Gabrielle dies and Gabby moves in with Harry, who is a quidditch player.
    On topic, I actually like the OC in this fic better than any other characters mentioned so far. That's not a good thing for the story, but the author should be praised for writing in such as way as to hint at a rounded OC character in only a couple of words.
     
  20. Tragen

    Tragen Squib

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2015
    Messages:
    16
    Personally I think this story has all of two things going for it: writing quality from a technical standpoint and Voldemort’s perspective. I turned to skimming the scenes with Harry very quickly. As Jhyaal pointed out, there’s really no difference between canon and this female version, however as we saw very little of this in the books it has enough appeal to briefly entice. Not enough to detract from the lack of plot though.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2016