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WIP Limpieza de Sangre by TheEndless7 - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Peter North, Aug 1, 2016.

  1. Miner

    Miner High Inquisitor

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    Emily's whole agenda with Harry was to turn him into a weapon for herself. Harry represents so much to the light side that killing him only creates a martyr. So she wants to turn him to her side.

    If Harry truly believed in Emily's rhetoric and thought that fighting her was wrong, then he would've swapped over and the war would've been over.
     
  2. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    I really don't see Harry doing that though. She murders innocent people. Harry was never close to actually joining her. That might have been what TE7 wanted, but the execution did not work in his favor.
     
  3. TheLazyReader

    TheLazyReader Groundskeeper

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    I actually got that. That was comprehensible. It became obvious when she said she was looking for a weapon. That's why when the plot stopped moving toward that I thought she was having seconds thoughts because she was developing feelings for him. My guess that was one of the reasons why so many people started thinking there was going to be romance between them. A couple of factors contributed to this feeling:
    • The diary was too dragged out. It went way beyond humanizing Emily.
    • We got her POV. In them, she actually started caring for him (her memories for the patronus include her time with Harry in Chicago).
    • Her actions. She defended Harry from Snape and later from Umbridge, pointing, again, that she cared for him on a personal level beyond that of a mere possession. If she truly wanted to drive Harry apart from Dumbledore, the Ministry, and the 'light side', it was enough to watch Harry suffer all year, and, just at the right moment, offer a hand.
    It all pointed out she had dropped the 'weapon' plotline because she was falling in love with him (or at the very least developing nigh-incestuous maternal feelings).
     
  4. Miner

    Miner High Inquisitor

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    That's... that's my point.

    That's why Emily's the villain lol.
     
  5. MrBucket

    MrBucket Third Year

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    What are you talking about? I wasn't arguing against her being the villain.
     
  6. Miner

    Miner High Inquisitor

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    This.
     
  7. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    I don't think Emily displayed overt signs of physical attraction at all. There are many ways to care for someone beyond wanting to fuck them.
     
  8. James018

    James018 Third Year

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    I could have swallowed that if Harry were actually out there, fighting for the Order/Ministry against the Death Eaters, during the story. Then him switching sides would have had an effect. As it is, he spends most of the story inside a diary, and most of the rest either having a good time with Emily, or fighting against the Ministry. What is that supposed to make the reader think?

    I am not arguing against what TE7 was trying to do. I'm just saying that he/she didn't execute it very well. Emily is painted so sympathetically, and everyone else so unsympathetically, that one can only conclude Harry did switch sides; he just didn't realise it.
     
  9. Miner

    Miner High Inquisitor

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    He's 15 years old. If Dumbledore wasn't gonna let 17 year old Emily fight Grindelwald with him without significant support from his followers, there's absolutely no way Harry's fighting in the war.

    Harry is meant to be a symbol. He's not particularly useful in a real fight; grown wizards would wipe the floor with him (pre-Emily training). He's the Boy-Who-Lived, he symbolizes something far more to wizards than his prowess in a fight. To have one of the champions of your cause abandon your cause to join the opposing side is kind of like having a star player from Real Madrid suddenly decide to switch over to Barcelona for no reason.

    This is a war. Killing one or two people will never bring what Emily wants. She wants to subjugate the continent, and certainly killing Harry is not going to do that for her. But if she could break the back of the resistance by having the symbol of the fight against her suddenly join her side? Then yes, that would be what could win the war.

    Harry most definitely did not switch sides, as I've outlined above. I don't know how else I can convince you of that, but I'm just telling you, if you believe Harry actually switched sides you're not reading the story nearly closely enough.
     
  10. James018

    James018 Third Year

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    Either "I'm not reading the story nearly closely enough", or the story isn't executed well enough to make its point. Others can judge which it is.

    Whether Harry is on Emily's side or not is more complicated than you make it sound. He certainly doesn't declare himself openly on her side (though if they'd escaped the Ministry in chapter 29 that might well have changed), but his mentality in the story suggests otherwise. He views her far more sympathetically than he views those on the 'good' side: a lot of the blame for Emily's misdeeds is placed on Dumbledore, and the Ministry are outright antagonists. Some of this is due to Harry's unreliable narration, but that is precisely the point: we are reading from Harry's point of view, and he doesn't see Emily as an enemy for most of the story, certainly from Chicago onwards. Even after he finds out Emily was manipulating him all along, what does he do? He gives the finger to the Order and the Ministry and goes off travelling the world with one of Emily's lieutenants. What is that supposed to make us think?

    Basically, I completely understand that Emily is supposed to be the villain of the story. You don't need to convince me of that. But the way the story is written, she isn't the villain, and that causes the whole thing to fall a bit flat.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2018
  11. Miner

    Miner High Inquisitor

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    Harry doesn't consider Emily Riddle his enemy.

    But Harry considers Lord Voldemort his enemy. And Lord Voldemort is the villain of the story.
     
  12. James018

    James018 Third Year

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    I am not sure if, for most of the story, Lord Voldemort really exists for Harry anymore.
     
  13. A Lizard By

    A Lizard By Any Other Name

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    To be fair, Voldemort barely exists in this story. Emily came back from the dead after fourteen years of banishment as a ghost so she could seduce/stockholme syndrome a kid, become his best friend in some elaborate scheme to lure him to the dark side, abuse this power in no discernible way, even going out of her way to make Harry's life better, and then finally sacrifice herself for him in an act of pure altruism because that's just what evil masterminds do. Clearly the same person who slays people in the streets and tortures for fun.

    I'm tellin ya, the author can't reconcile Emily with Voldemort unless she has split personality disorder.
     
  14. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    I think when you realize that people aren't always rational, and that people don't follow relationships via a straight forward flowchart the story will make a lot more sense.

    I really didn't find it that complicated to follow, nor did I find it unusual that an alternate Voldemort would act alternatively to both canon, and fanon.
     
  15. KaiDASH

    KaiDASH High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

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    The biggest problem I have with Endless7's writing is that he's (for lack of a better way to put it) afraid of where his changes will take him.

    In this story Emily has a vastly different backstory, experiences and motivation to canon Voldemort, yet everything happens as it did in the books? There's no reason this ought to be the case, that Emily had the same effect on the world as Tom, despite everything.

    Then when the cards are on the table and we've hit a divergence worth talking about (chapter 29), any interesting decision Harry could have made, any insight we could have had into this new Harry, any new path the story could have taken, is stolen away by 'Rocks fall and only Emily dies'.

    It's a shame, because we could have had a real adventure with this story and instead we're here trying to quantify our disappointment.
     
  16. Jjf88

    Jjf88 Auror

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    I've read this in one quick burst so may have skimmed certain sections in tiredness, but these are my observations.

    There's something about the writing that drew me. I especially enjoyed Emily's POV. I think the point of Harry being an unreliable narrator was clear with his revelation at the end, stating he doesn't know where he starts and she ends. However I feel that saying Emily was evil and only doing it to turn Harry against Dumbledore and 'The Light' was something to begin with, but evolved as the story went on. The possessivenes I inferred from the story was less about him as an objecta nd more of a lover's possessiveness, but maybe I'm wrong.
    I agree that surely the other Horcruxes will have kept her alive as a wraith, and am confused since Harry also being a Horcrux tethers her to this world, unless I'm mistaken..
    Did we get an answer why Tom in the diary was male and she was not? Maybe I missed that part.

    Character wise, I thought Emily was most interesting but also a bit thin on the charismatic, cult leader. I only recall the first scene where she meets the sympathisers and wins them over without much build up. I think it could have been expanded. Dumbledore was better written through the first half but his last few scenes were more OOC and in line with manipulative!Dumbles.

    Harry and Emily's relationship is interesting and an entertaining spin on the compassionate Harry we see. A touch contrived in the beginning but I can suspend my disbelief long enough to engage in their later relationship.
    Harry learning through osmosis is bland but serves the purpose of driving the story onwards, which I could overlook. I would enjoy a series of oneshots where we see him engaging in learning during his trip.

    All in all, it starts rocky, gets much better in the middle but doesn't quite ever reach it's full potential. A solid 3/5 with much unrealised potential.
     
  17. kinetique

    kinetique Groundskeeper

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    Why did you change the colour of your post?
     
  18. Jjf88

    Jjf88 Auror

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    I love that your reply is to question my colour change and not to discuss my views/the fic...

    It appeared as black text for when typing for some reason, so I changed it to a lighter one. It seems to be back to normal.
     
  19. Miner

    Miner High Inquisitor

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    Sequel is up.

    Other than that I'm probably going to avoid this thread.
     
  20. CaffeineAddict

    CaffeineAddict Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    The ending was terrible. It was one story right up until the second-to-last chapter and then it pulled the rug out in a supremely unsatisfying way.

    Waste of time, which is a shame, because the idea had potential.
     
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