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Abandoned Lineage of Mastery by Zenzao - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Zenzao, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. Zenzao

    Zenzao 500 Club King Prestige

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Messages:
    1,094
    Location:
    Adrift on those Binary Seas.
    High Score:
    1,864
    Title: Lineage of Mastery
    Author: Zenzao
    Rating: T
    Genre: Adventure(?), Drama, smudges of Humor.
    DLP Category: Alternates.
    Pairing: None.
    Published: April 21, 2011
    Updated: June 22, 2011
    Words: 8900
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: What would the wizarding world have turned out to be if the Peverell Brothers had not died or splintered long ago? How would things have changed if they had received the Hallows in a different order? As its turns out, a hell of a lot different.
    Link: Lineage of Mastery

    Yeah, I'm being arrogant(and just a little hopeful) enough to offer my own story for Review. This is my more successful of the two March contest entries and it's done okay so far.


    Moved into the Recycling Bin based on the reviews in here and in its WbA thread, despite its four stars.
    Minion.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 26, 2014
  2. Catman

    Catman Fifth Year

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2008
    Messages:
    152
    I'm making this comment without having read it. Yes, it is considered bad form to post your own story in the for review, only the Good Old DLP Boy's club can get away with that.

    If you want your story to come to the attention of DLP, for better or worse, put it in the Work by Author forum.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2011
  3. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP Prestige DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2011
    Messages:
    151
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    High Score:
    3,164
    Nobody cares, I promise. I'll read and review later.
     
  4. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    6,195
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    ...pretty fucking brassy, OP.
     
  5. Rym

    Rym Auror

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Messages:
    637
    As soon as the June contest is over, I'll read and review this. I just have zero free time right now. Reccing your own story really isn't that big a deal, though I think you might have pulled the trigger a bit too early with this one. At 8900 words, this is just a fledgeling of a story. It hasn't really taken off yet.
     
  6. Richard

    Richard Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,784
    Location:
    California
    Better off posting it in WBA, imo.
     
  7. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar Professor

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    499
    Location:
    In front of a Computer.
    The story is already present in the WbA section.

    As far as I understand, there is no problem with putting up your own story in the For Review. Nobody said anything to me when I did it. I haven't read your story yet, will be back with a review when I do.
     
  8. Starwind

    Starwind Headmaster

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2010
    Messages:
    1,045
    The writing quality was decent.

    The story didn't jump out at me.

    The bit with the whole "magical signature" bit put me off a little, I read too many magical theory topics on here. =)
     
  9. Hawkin

    Hawkin Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,227
    Location:
    QC, Canada
    I think he put it here because there wasn't enough feedback in the WBA section.
     
  10. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    2,229
    Any more input on this one?

    The comments left in here and the reviews in the WbA thread here: Lineage of Mastery indicate Zenzao still needs some time to polish the part he already posted and to continue the story.

    Thus I am inclined to move it into the Recycle Bin for now, despite its four stars (by only three votes).
     
  11. Anarual

    Anarual Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2005
    Messages:
    236
    Interesting, remember reading it a while ago. I'll side with Dark Minion here and say it still needs a bit of polishing. Rehash some aspects and update it a few times in the WbA and I'm sure you'll get tons of people to read it.