Title: Lionheart
Author: greenTeancup
Rating: General Audiences
Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger
Status: Work in Progress (320,611 words as of now)
Library category: The Alternates
Summary: How Draco Malfoy met a girl on a train, ruined his life, started a war, and ended one.
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41354757/chapters/103699902

This is a retelling of years 1-7 of Hogwarts given a timeline in which Lucius Malfoy died and Draco ended up being sorted into Gryffindor. It is, as of now, split into two volumes, one consisting of the first three books re-told, and the second consisting of just book four, which we are now in the middle of. I realize that I am asking DLP to blink twice—once for the pairing and again for the title/summary—but I think it's deserved. (As a side note, the fic's former title was "All Their Words for Glory," which I think suited it much better.)

The story is told from Draco's point of view who, despite befriending first Hermione and then Harry and Ron, still maintains many of his canonical views: he is unabashedly 'pro-wizard' and still believes blood status to matter. He also navigates blood-purity politics (in a way that avoids many of the 11-year old politician tropes) through his relationships with Slytherins like Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, and Daphne Greengrass.

I must admit that, while not particularly caring for the pairing (of which veritably nothing has been said so far, it is a very slow burn), this fic's prose stands head and shoulders above just about every other fic I've read.

Spoiler

The opening line alone is one of the best I've seen:

"Under a black sky, through a curtain of errant midsummer rain, they buried Lucius Malfoy in the same family crypt where fourteen generations of his ancestors had been laid before him."

From a description of Halloween night:

"The last drops of sunlight suffused through the mists and vanished into a blue twilight. Its last fires burned low behind the trees, and the castle’s silhouette turned shadowy against the purple velvet of night. The air smelled of wood and dew and fallen leaves, and a pack of crows migrated musically from tree to tree, cawing. Draco’s shoes crunched over a carpet of fallen leaves and twigs. Down by the lake, near the foot of the Whomping Willow, a trio of Slytherins floated out of the gloom like phantoms, their murmuring voices echoing queerly over the field."

And a domestic scene from the Burrow:

"At the foot of the garden the river bent into a small bowl in the earth became a shallow, domesticated thing, lapping over a bed of muddy pebbles, trussed with cattails and feathery branches of weeping willows. A small wooden dock listed into the water like a ramp, and when the sun went down a caravan of fireflies moved over the water like a river of airborne stars, their reflection doubled in the water. Said water was cold as hag’s blood, not to mention, which didn’t stop any of the boys from whipping off their shirts and stampeding in. Ginny, only a heartbeat behind them, wriggled out of her shirt and trousers in an instant — ignoring Mrs. Weasley’s screech of dismay — and streaked after her brothers, a slip of pale skin cutting through the froth like a white eel. Hermione rolled up her pants to her knees and sat on the end of the dock, her legs trailing in the water. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley shucked their socks and shoes and waded up to their ankles, holding hands. Every so often Mrs. Weasley tugged on her husband’s arm, and he bent down to give her a kiss. It could give a man a toothache, it really could."

Is it Nabokov? Of course not. Does it hew a bit too purple at times? Perhaps (I think the author should have rethought the use of adverbs in the second excerpt, for one.) Is it better than nearly every other fic out there? I would say yes.

The pace at which the story proceeds and the particular variations the author gives the canonical plot points allows for strong character development. Given the fic's nature, we primarily see Draco and Hermione come to the forefront here, but a pleasant surprise was the focus on the Weasley family, giving the reader a realistic image of Ron that dodges his typical, fan-fic caricature personality.

While light on magical theory/development (somewhat to my disappointment), the author makes up for it with a strong political plotline that arises as a natural outgrowth from the initial AU changes made in the fic. Without spoiling things, blood-purity politics are given a solid, understandable basis and take on a role in the fic's universe larger than simply "evil." Children are involved, but it is handled in a believable fashion, a point which speaks to the thought and craft the author put into the fic.

The fic's main flaw is that the author seems to rush the endings on a couple of the years. Events have been set up in a way that, while not overloading, makes it difficult to resolve each year gracefully, and this definitely shows (particularly in year two). Still, the overarching plot across years is strong, and I look forward to seeing where it goes.

Overall I give it a 4.5/5 and find myself eagerly looking forward to updates (which occur every Friday).

 

Binged this whole thing - really, really strong story, whose choice to merely have Lucius go a little more traitor is an extremely well reasoned one. The romance is being done very tastefully and believably, which is a place a lot of fics of this sort stumble.

If there's a place the thing is weak, it's in getting slightly melodramatic in some of the childhood personalities. But everywhere else, the prose is a powerhouse.

This is a clear and strong library contender. 4/5.

 

Draco reminds me of Artemis Fowl in this fic

 

This is the best new fanfic I have read in recent memory. Well done. Enjoyable character interactions, wholesome, includes character development, and critically, appears to have its own plot direction instead of just retelling canon with Draco dropped in.

This genre of story - Draco/slytherin focus - typically eats two or three fatal flaws: the first, just retelling canon, the second where there's no actual story conflict / plot progression, and the third, maybe most forgiveable, being grimdark or hyperpoliticky to the point it's hard to believe. This story seems to avoid most or the worst of those pitfalls, though sometimes treading stretching credulity around the politics - ex. with Theo.

4/5 at least. Depending on how the author handles the rising action and executes on the plot threads they’ve laid out out, could go higher or lower.

Thanks for sharing this story, I haven’t binged a fanfic like this in years.

 

Forgive the double-post, turns out I had only read up to ch 25. Just read the next 14 chapters. It’s still a 4/5 but not as good as the first part imo. If book IV stays slow or functions as an “AU characters react to the books” without really changing the plot, it could drop to a 3-3.5/5. But I'm also cautiously optimistic – we're still in the earlier set-up of the book and Canon GoF was also a lot of slice of life between the tasks.

The canon retelling feels dry. While the stakes are high for Harry, a renarration of his conflicts through Draco’s eyes isn't so interesting to me. Draco is more interesting in this story and he’s our main character. The third year shifts toward Harry’s plotline and has him as more of an emotional center of gravity and this carries into the fourth year – be it with Sirius and Remus, or the Triwizard Tournament. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, but there's fat that could be trimmed and more that could be happening on Draco's side. For example, there’s a bit of a chapter with a retelling of Hagrid revealing the dragons to Harry and crew. Maybe that could have been a summary paragraph or throwaway line rather than a retread. And some of the Sirius and Remus stuff could be cut or summarized where not relevant to Draco.

I’ve been skipping the teenage social games, romance and Harry-Sirius-Remus familiar dynamics. It feels like the story slows down there. Such is the way with ao3 hurt/comfort/family tropes and slice of life bits. It's made more bearable by flashes of social/emotional insight rare among fanfic – nothing groundbreaking, just a shade more aware that makes it more fun to read.

I find the story most interesting when it focuses elsewhere - Slytherin intrigue and the other storylines beyond canon, Draco’s growth (personal and magical) and conflicts, the Malfoy/Black back story, etc, the earlier life-and-death adventure and mystery. It's fascinating to pick up little breadcrumbs here and there around this Dumbledore, or Lucius and Narcissa and the other characters who aren't all what they seem.

Either way the story’s interesting enough to keep reading and still in set-up for book IV, just waiting for the plot to pick up again and Draco to have more to do than react to the Harry plotline we’ve read a million times and be awkward/jealous around Hermione.

 

Read the whole thing, nice find! Any similar stories?

Prose really is amazing, probably best of any fic I've read. If I have one criticism, its that Draco isn't really what I imagined his character would be- ie, he doesn't really show any moments of extreme cunning, or even intelligence, outside of a few passing remarks regarding his and Hermione's stellar grades.

 

I’m on chapter 17 right now, just before the start of 3rd year. It’s a technically well written story. It’s just a little disappointing on how the author kinda forces it to follow and mirror canon. With Draco in Gryffindor so many things change, and yet without fail things end up relatively similar to canon. The first and second year shouldn’t have even happened even remotely similar to canon imo. But I guess you can’t expect complete originality.

With that being said, I still think it’s worth giving a read. Even following close-ish to canon, events are still interesting and there seems to be larger plots brewing that will keep me reading.

 

This is a awesome find, one of the best fics I've read in years.

I love the balance in which Draco is portrayed - he remains bigoted and influenced by the pureblood ideology he's been raised in, but is forced to reconcile that with events. And that ideology is neither excused nor bashed, with the other Slytherins weaving a great middle-ground in between as characters in their own right.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron are also very well-portrayed, especially Hermione. Some side characters work well (Snape, Sirius, Lupin, Dobby), other characters aren't as well-done, such as Dumbledore, and Moody (constant vigilance is eye-roll worthy).

I definitely agree that the weakest parts are where parts of canon are retold, sometimes blindingly fast relative to the normal pace. But I think its a mistake to criticise the lack of a good 'story' in these aspects - this isn't a story that appreciates, or is focused on, the canon plots. It covers them (and always changes them somewhat) more as an obligation - the plots and stories it cares about are the relationships between its characters (Harry/Draco/Hermione/Ron, Slytherins/Draco, Snape/Draco, etc.), Draco's internal progression, the background pureblood politics and so on.

Do I wish they'd executed some elements (like the painful and unrealistic second-year climax, or the ridiculously convoluted and layered third year climax) better? Of course, but it's the wrong thing to focus on, by and large. At least the slight deviations allow promise for genuinely interesting plot to emerge later - for instance, I have no idea if Moody is fake or for real in this one.

There's lots of little parts I like as well - having Draco be on the edge of events (like the World Cup) rather than in the middle of them. Draco's cowardice (albeit slowly chipped away). The description of the Burrow. As others have said, the politics feels involved at the right level - there, but background and rising, slowly building up a different canon.

Much more I could say, but for now, 4.5/5, rounded up. Highly recommended.

 

I appreciate this take, it's a fair perspective. But I find as year 4 goes on, it becomes more of a fluff retelling fic than an (emotionally mature) independent!Draco story. Year 4 so far feels like Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, told from a friendly Draco's perspective than a story with Draco Malfoy as the MC – but I wouldn't characterize previous years as such. It's the story of Draco and others reacting to how main plot events affect Harry, instead of events that matter to Draco first and foremost, unmediated by another putative main character – one (Harry) who hasn't had enough character development in this story to care about anyway. One way to see this is to compare, say, the first two chapters to the last two chapters.

A focus on character relationships is fine, but I find the mainly Draco/internal progression storyline that includes the relationship development you mentioned more compelling than a mainly fluff-focused story with streaks of Draco's internal progression.

So this is an interesting point I hadn't considered. I'd just assumed he was still fake. Cool if the author goes the other way and plays with the other slight deviations.

 

Reading year three feels like it has been going on forever. There was a clear demarcation where the author allowed the kids to start bantering like adults, and everything started spiraling from there. I have just passed a line about blast-ended skrewts, which is absolutely an anachronism.

Maybe I'm just getting hungry & this is suffering because I tried to read too much at once, but any sense of urgency or plot has been fully stripped away by the characteristic word-bloat of A03 fics.

As of chapter 'Operation Prewett' I'd give this a 2.5 rounded up to a 3 only because I don't want to consider the time I sank into the binge this morning utterly wasted.

 

I went into the story expecting it to disappoint given how high my expectations were set by this thread but I ended up really enjoying the story. Having Draco grow up without Lucius and with his betrayal hanging over the family makes the changes to his character in the fic reasonable. The politics are great and Draco’s POV allows us to get a lot more insight than any traditional protagonists for fanfiction. The only thing I’d criticize is that the canon CoS plot, which is rehashed, has to be reworked in a fairly unreasonable way, but the PoA plot is reworked in a way I found satisfying personally. Overall it’s 100% library worthy imo

4/5

 

Reading the latest chapter this fic is definitely going places and I’m really liking it. The pairing is far from my favourite, but it definitely takes a much more realistic approach at how Draco and Hermione could get together. Speaking of pairings, before the Yule Ball and during pretty much the whole of third year I got some serious Harry/Ron vibes from the fic and I don’t know if it’s just me. I never have interpreted a close friendship as ever being indicative of a budding romance be it in reality or fiction, between people of same or opposing sex, but this bromance definitely feels like a romance at times.

As for the actual plot, I’m definitely a fan of the political dimension of the story what with pure-blood politics which are much more anchored in money and family/social status and not hereditary title and magical peerage (which makes for a nice change and fits very well with the turn of the century feeling of the story). The change of leadership at the Ministry at the end of year two makes for a nice twist and a necessary canon deviation because of the AU and I feel it will lead to a very interesting Second Wizarding War. This is part of an all encompassing worldbuilding that gets to keep us on our toes while still being familiar.

As for characterisations, I really like the dynamics of the Gryffindor quartet and they feel real. The banter is great and funny. The Slytherins are original and really just modern. Their typical fanfic characterisations are so anchored in this pseudo Victorian vision of the traditional wizarding world that making those characters act like contemporary teens is really a breath of fresh air. Also, as a side note, I was really just shocked at Fudge and Crouch Sr being qualified as left wing in this story lol. From reading the books multiple times, watching the movies even more, and reading hundreds of fics which gave those two characters basically their canon personas, I had safely put them as “centre-right/right wing fictional characters” in my mind and having such a small yet deep idea being confronted by its opposite was very strange.

I have some minor nitpicks about the story, though. I might be confusing it with another fic I’m also currently reading, but I think it might have an outright mention that magical cores are a thing, but if it doesn’t a magical stamina of sort definitely exists in the fic and this really bothers me because it just fucks over the entire the magical system. In the latest chapter, Hermione is able to stop Marcus Flint from dangerously hitting the ground from a high fall with a Levitation Charm. Pansy, who in this fic is in Ginny’s year, is then asked, after an altercation, to move Flint to the Hospital Wing. However, she replies that she can’t do a “Leviosa” that powerful. Earlier, Draco (in the narration) noted that he probably wouldn’t be able to do it either. I just can’t believe that a witch with two years and a half worth of training can’t levitate a boy who realistically can’t weight more than 180 pounds with magic. Physics is also mentioned to play a role in potentially trumping magic (such as the case of a boy falling and having his momentum and gravity playing against your spell) and this just aggravates me. Luckily, magical theory is very scarce in the story so I can just not think about it for the most part.

Another nitpick I have is actually related to something that makes me like this story l: the modernity. Specifically, the modernity, or Muggle-ity, of pure-blood wizards. It makes sense for Draco, who is being introduced to Muggle music by his housemates and who shares a dormitory with Dean, to know about Muggle bands and singers, or what Dean means when he’s talking about Uniting Manchester with black and white balls through goals. It doesn’t, however, make sense for him to know what Chanel is when his only girl friend who isn’t Daphne or Pansy is Hermione. Also, I just hate how formal/traditional wizard/pure-blood dress is… three piece suits with occasionally a cape thrown on for the men and 1990s dresses for the women. The people who have to actively think about dressing like Muggles when going into their world (and sucking at it for the most part) and who for the most part have zero contact with Muggles somehow dress exactly like Muggles do? Like, bitch, capes in lieu of coats over white tie on warm evenings was a thing until white tie stopped being worn, but that’s supposed to be what pure-bloods wear. Over all, the Muggle and wizarding worlds are just too close in the story for me to feel like there’s any actual difference except for the magic and that one group doesn’t know the other exists.

If I were earlier in the fic I’d probably rate it a 3/5 because it didn’t seem to go much if anywhere anymore except retelling the tournament’s tasks and how the group had Harry prepare for them, but with the newest developments I’m rating it a 4/5.

 

Yeah good point ^, latest chapters have diverged from GoF more, moved the plot forward well enough and consequently been more interesting

 

This is excellent. The prose is good, and indeed gorgeous, at times. And the plot is a breath of fresh air - enjoyed binging through it.

 

The most recent chapters (everything following Triwizard Task #1) have been extremely good, to the point that I'm embarrassed about my previous comments. I wouldn't hesitate to call book four a 5/5.

 

Yeah, with the most recent chapter I can confidently say that this is the greatest fanfic I have ever read—which is insane when you think about the fact that it is something like half-a-million words already and not even through book 4.

Also, seeing as the story now meets the requirements to be added to the library (>3.5 stars, 3 constructive reviews, 5 reviews total), does anyone know how it actually gets moved there?

 

Ok. I'm here yo dust off this account and post a review.

Did I enjoy this story so far?

Yes.

Is it a novel concept?

Yes.

What did I like about it?

Draco feels like his voice is correct for the most part. His pining for Hermione is poetic, and I enjoy most of it.

The twists on the classic Canon plot is well done. My biggest issue is that we don't see as many ripples as I'd expect. Through hook or crook it feels as though we are just getting to a similar point everytime, but with a different perspective character.

I also enjoy the pacing for the most part. We get to important events in the first 3 books in a timely well plotted manner.

Snape is very interesting in this story so far.

What didn't I like?

The focus on Hermione and Draco feels like it sidelines the other main characters. Harry and Ron seem nearly unchanged even though Draco is around all the time. That's not the worst thing, but it almost feels like Draco has had little to no effect on how they've developed. It feels weird.

I wish the arc of the story saw more ripples. I enjoy the changes that have happened, but some of it feels way to small.

Some of the changes in Book 2 also make the story feel smaller? I have read through a lot of different rehashed Chamber of Secrets, but this is the first one that I felt had almost no reason to happen outside of some slight character building. The stakes felt so much lower than I like.

Rating Overall - Library Worthy

4/5

This is probably the best Draco centered fiction I've read.

 

I finished up to the end of Book 4 and came here to see some reviews that weren't shipper gushing. And of course, share my thoughts.

Writing:

The technical writing is excellent. SPAG-checked, good rhythm and structure to the prose, atmospheric imagery that sets the scene in the right moody, gothic, lived-in setting because the Wizarding World is just as much of a character as the human characters. I liked the flavortext feel of it when an off-hand sentence mentioned Hedwig stealing Harry's last piece of toast at breakfast. It's something that made Hogwarts feel real in the original book.

Plot:

The plot steps very, very close to canon then diverges away from it for unexplained reasons. I get the "point of divergence" in this story's premise is Lucius Malfoy dying early on, so anything he couldn't affect should continue on the railroad as usual. But then there are the weird plot oddities like the use of the "Lord" title that are un-canon, unexplained, and reminiscent of the edgelord "Lord Harrison Potter-Black-Peverell" powerwank fics that throw me out of the story. The political parties, Pops and Cavs, as well. Just assumed knowledge, little explanation outside of "They don't line up with Muggle politics!".

The adherence to canon felt forced at times, given that Draco and Lucius were directly involved in setting those plot points in the books, but even when they're dead or different people, the same points have to happen.

Examples: Tom Riddle's diary. The Malfoys have expensive manor with all the best wards, and this is remarked on later in the book, but someone just happens to break into Malfoy Manor and steal the diary in time to start the Chamber of Secrets events.

Buckbeak's execution order. He didn't maul anyone in this story. But he's got to die anyway.

Character:

The redeeming quality that saved this fic from being too much of a boring canon rehash: the limited perspective POV and character voice of Draco Malfoy. The cynicism, wit, snark, meanness, it was great. I like a character who has "moral flaws" relative to the audience, but the self-awareness and likeability to still make for such an entertaining protagonist that it doesn't matter if he isn't squeaky clean Boy Scout perfect.

Ron and Harry are side characters to Draco's story, but I did appreciate that Ron was given a sympathetic view and the story brought out his good qualities - loyalty, tactical skill, good knowledge of non-academic subjects, sense of humor, willingness to jump headlong into danger for his pals. This isn't a Ron-bashing fic.

Hermione is a love her or hate her character. Since Draco is the protagonist instead of Harry, Hermione gets a lot more screentime compared to canon, and this fic brings out many parts of Hermione that are lost in the movie HermioneSue adaptation. Namely, the black-and-white lenses of utter self-righteous conviction from canon S.P.E.W. Hermione is the basis of this version's Hermione, and it gets annoying as fuck.

If you didn't like Rigid Morality Hermione from the books, you will not like her here. I think it's stronger here because this story does "pureblood politics" earlier and harder than canon does, and Draco is the PoV, not Harry who worries more about his continuing survival than about blood quantums.

Chapter 36:

Chapter 49:

Hermione offends other people, brushes it off, but can't let it stand when it's about her. The poor experience doesn't teach her a lesson about being more thoughtful, nuanced, and understanding of the complexities of the situation. She blows up over the same subjects again and again, and if she truly wanted other people to agree with her, this reaction is detrimental to her message. The black-and-white thinking reminds me of the post-Deathly Hallows fandom squabbling over "Was Snape a good or a bad guy?" He can be both, it's fine!

Not really out of character for Hermione, but it's annoying to read because this is the main fodder of the inter-personal conflicts of this story, and the obstacle to the burgeoning romantic development. I kind of wanted Draco to nope out and find someone else to fall in love with. He deserves better.

Which leads to the last point...

Romance:

Reading the fic, I got the impression that Draco's character arc was about becoming a, if not "Good Guy", a better person who could get into a relationship with a muggleborn Gryffindor in a way that doesn't break his AU character development. The story does a good job on building on his growth.

But a relationship is about more than one person. While Draco is growing into the person Hermione might like romantically, I didn't feel like this AU Hermione, as I read her, grew in the other direction. She was static, stubborn, fixed, unnuanced, and Draco's arc was about learning to appreciate it instead of both sides softening their rough edges for each other. Draco was changing and learning over the course of the story, and it put Hermione's lack of it in stark relief.

Their constant arguing and Hermione's nuclear blowups when her tender sore points were pushed were emotionally exhausting, since they happened multiple times. Kind of like canon Ron and Hermione, in a way.

I wasn't sold on the romance. Sure, there's physical attraction and chemistry, which Draco lingers over in his hornythoughts, but the emotional reciprocation aspect was lacking. Relationships are about compromise, and this one is about Draco conceding to Hermione over and over because he's too afraid she'll leave him and he'll be left in his big empty mansion alone. Ugh. An emotional hostage situation.

Get a backbone, my darling ferret!

 

@Bernd While I think there is a key point to be made about Hermione staying a bit more of a static character, I'm not sure the give and take is really the best example of it because the truth is, Draco is fundamentally in the wrong here. Hermione, at least in those areas, should not change on her stances towards muggleborn prejudice.

If anything, she's already shifted and changed more in this fic than canon because she is so close to Draco.

But yeah read this over the weekend and I think it's library worthy. The plot itself is not particularly novel, but the writing style elevates it beyond its plot. Excellent fic.

 

@Arthellion

It wasn't Hermione's beliefs that bothered me, that's a core part of Hermione's character and backstory as a muggleborn thrust into the pureblood politics world of magical Britain. What annoyed me was the hairtrigger eruption reaction that happened every time someone who wasn't brought up in the Muggle Rights mindset said something that wasn't phrased to appeal to her sensibilities. She would start screeching and jump down their throat before they could explain what they thought and why they thought it, even assuming things they didn't say because she interpreted their motivations as bad faith.

I lurk the "Debate me, bro" side of the internet, and people who do this bug the living bejazzles out of me.

It bugged me even more because Hermione would get offended by other people's phrasing or opinions, then expect them to apologize to her for it. And then she would go around being rude and tactless to other people, but she didn't need to apologize because of course she was in the right.

It's a very Hermione-ish character trait, both book and AU. But I found it especially grating in this fic because Hermione has more screentime in the book, and Draco is less of a conflict-avoidant personality than Harry, so the Hermione annoyingness has more time to shine. I just find it... very counterproductive for intelligent people with strong principles to try to persuade others to come to their side as Hermione does, by berating and beating them over the head with the Muh Morals stick. I don't see the screeching sanctimony to be an intelligent strategy at all, and it does grate when this is the default tactic relied upon by the "Most Brilliant Witch of Her Age".

This may be personal projections on this fic though. The writing was excellent, but the strong writing made the supporting character characterizations and personalities stronger than canon, like a Flanderization force field.