Edit by Sesc:
Sequel: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13341726/1/Living-in-Secret


I've been following this fic for a while now. 33 chapters with approx 120k words in, I have to say, it's one of the few actively updating fics not from this site's authors I've been following with eagerness.

The premise is that due to a plot device, Harry and Daphne end up making out during detention in the Potions classroom. The fic is set in OotP with one difference. Harry and Ginny got together around the beginning of his 5th year. Keeping his affair secret while handling his relationships with Ron, Hermione and Ginny makes for some interesting drama. If I remember correctly, the early chapters aren't as great as the latter ones (the writing improves markedly as the story progresses) but it doesn't start out from too low a floor.

I like the premise, for one. I think it's a very interesting time for this shit to happen. Most fics with Daphne take place when both are just entering Hogwarts, or after Ootp. Fifth year canon-compliant fics introducing an affair aren't very common. The entire situation with Umbridge is explosive as it is, add in an affair with Daphne on top of a relationship with Ginny and it becomes a powder keg. Daphne is a bit of a snob early on (her character progresses, I assure you) and Harry is very canon Harry. There's a bit of ooc-ness from time to time but I don't think it detracts from the story.

There are a few places where I think the author could have done things differently, perhaps not shoehorned canon into their story with as much force as they have, but it's fine. It's a bit of a nit to pick when you've got a story this good.

A 4/5. For those who're impatient with how this story starts and how it progresses, hang on. It gets better. This author isn't afraid of letting shit really hit the fan.

 

Give it another chance, @Sesc. It’s a Harry/Daphne story firmly in the “not shit” category. Not many of those out there.

 

At this point, it has become Daphne's character trait, to be written as snobbish or cold bitch.

 

I've been following this for about a year now, against my better judgement.

My biggest issue with it is probably just how unedited and unpolished it seems, there seems to be minor perfectly unavoidable mistakes every other sentence.

I guess a lot of what I don't really like is the premise of teenagers wallowing in the misery of their own mistakes. The plot doesn't really seem to be leading anywhere other than the fact that Harry and Daphne will get back together after misunderstanding #271718727282727281817.

I'm perfectly fine with canon Harry but to me at least, this feels more like his personality is just moulded to fit whatever is convenient at whatever time. There's the same issue with Daphne, really, she changes so much that there isn't really much left to her character.

2/5 because I actually read the entire thing.

 

Daphne calls Harry "daddy" in the first chapter.

They're both 15.

I couldn't do any more than skim the next 4 chapters until my brain started to melt out my ears.

2/5 for a vaguely interesting plot but some glaring grammatical and editing errors and truly terrible prose.

 

This story has reminded me of everything I hated from the movies in general and OotP in particular. I'm pretty sure most annoying plot points (like the broken timeline) can be traced back to that, to the point I'm seriously wondering if the author has read the books.

Still, apart from that I thought there were a few interesting ideas (nothing spectacular, but far from terribad either), and the absence of bashing is very welcome. Daphne also hasn't become (yet) a big fluffball of tolerance and gryffindorness, so we can expect moderately good development on that part. Or at least tolerable. And the plot is starting to diverge outside of pure-romance material, so there aren't only bad points.

I feel it's a bit unfair to say that. I was also expecting this kind of fic (Gryffindor/Slytherin pure romance is rarely anything else), but it wasn't really. I mean, the author goes out of their way to actually adress the misunderstandings and outright lies before they lead to break-up drama (which only happens once). Had the author wanted to write more drama, they had plenty of occasions to do so that they didn't use. I suppose there is wallowing, but considering the shitty decisions they sometimes make, my angst-o-meter hasn't exploded yet.

All in all, I give a 3/5. It's a pure guilty pleasure fic, it won't win any awards but isn't a chore to read either.

 

It's okay-ish. The characterizations can be bad sometimes and there are some though grammar mistakes here and there together with some misspelling of words and names. Also, the author calls Kreacher "Creature" and Filch "Flich", which I find absolutely infuriating. I thought about giving it a 2, but I'll give it a 2.5 rounded up to 3 because a) I'm in the mood for some charity and b) it can be an okay guilty pleasure fic.

Also, the fic covers only the 5th year. The following year is supposed to be covered in a sequel that hasn't been posted yet.

 

Quite a few grammar mistakes and punctuation problems, plus some turns of phrase that aren't quite right. Nothing so awful that I had to stop reading, but I know I won't get through 35 chapters of it. The plot is long and drawn out. I like angst as much as the next person, but even I can't get behind this much drama, the non-romantic plot helps lighten the load a bit but not enough to make me read it to the end.

 

Daphne Greengrass is mentioned only once or twice in canon and I'm not sure she's ever given a line of dialogue. Her characterization as an ice queen is a fan creation and ridiculously popular to the point where it often becomes too much.

I'm a huge fan of the Harry/Slytherin relationship trope, but as with any romance story, when it starts to drag on for too long it becomes repetitive like an angsty teen drama.

The writing style is not enjoyable for the first many chapters to the point where I almost gave up a few times. It gets better maybe halfway through and becomes relatively good after that. But even if the second half were a masterpiece it wouldn't make up for the first half. A couple of bad chapters I can forgive, but this is too much.

 

This fic combines the ‘classic’ fan fiction plot lines of, a) Harry/Daphne, b) Ice queen Daphne, and c) forbidden love. It might not be winning any points for originality, but it does for quality. There’s no unnecessary prelude, no slow burn, the story jumps right into the romance giving the readers exactly what they want. The relationship then evolves with a lot of back and forth, it’s got a very ‘teen’ romance vibe to it with a few unrealistic scenarios and a lot of mopping, but it’s the kind of story I would really have loved a few years ago so sentimentality and nostalgia had me reading the entire thing in a day. Actually, it’s much better than a lot of the stories I read a few years ago because despite the ‘teen’ vibe, the romance is well written. It’s not a fairytale, perfect relationship, there’s a real struggle between the characters which adds a dash of realism to a story that on occasion overdoes it in terms situations it puts the characters in. There’s actual chemistry between Harry and Daphne, they flow really well together and don’t feel forced. Daphne’s character is well-developed and acts like a proper Slytherin, not a Hufflepuff or Gryffindor masquerading in green and silver. She’s complex and intriguing, and although I can’d say I agree with everything she does, it’s always in character and has a lot to do with the way she grew up. The major issue with this fic is with the grammar and spelling as stated repeatedly in this thread, but I disagree with those who say that it makes the story unreadable because it doesn’t. I’ve read far worse writing for stories that were far less interesting than this one. Yes, the turmoil and indecision is maybe a bit overdone but it’s a forbidden relationship between teenagers of course there’s going to be more drama than sense. This fic has a good premise with a great pairing that has a solid fanbase. It sticks with the classic tropes, but what it does with them is of far greater quality than what most others have done. There’s a huge development in the story as well, in that it starts off as a full on angsty romance with little to no real plot, but from one chapter to the next it becomes intriguing and fulfilling. The author clearly grew a lot as a writer.