Title: Magus Emissarius
Author: ArchMagusNorth
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Supernatural
DLP Category: The Alternate's
Pairing: ??
Status: Work in Progress
Summary:

Harry Potter is created by Magic itself in the line of Peverell to bring balance on planet Earth. He is Quiet, mistaken to be autistic, but dangerous when needed, and is One of two candidates for "Chosen One" along with his twin sister. Powerful!Harry

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4167175/1/Magus_Emissarius

 

I smell a troll.

 

Well, this story is definitely different. The first chapter was annoying on a level the likes of which I can't even begin to explain. The author spends the whole time rambling on and on about the nature of the universe and magic which has little or nothing to do with anything. The next few chapters are much of the same. They focus on James and Lily finding out that they are expecting, but there isn't a whole lot that really means much.

Most of the first few chapters are not needed. The spelling and grammar is iffy, in that, at times the author shows some skill, but at other times, there seem to be lots of simple mistakes that should have been cleared up with a spell check.

The whole Harry has a twin, and Harry is looked upon as a squib (at least for awhile) thing is annoying because I don't see anything terribly original about this situation, and the author seems to have a flair for writing rather boring completely unneeded scenes. It gets tiresome after awhile. Harry is made to be way too mature for his age, and the whole wand thing is just dumb. I mean naming a wand...as is the whole promising to return the wand. I'd give it a 1.5/5 for the fact that it is readable even if it is boring.

 

This epitomizes the story with aspirations of epicness, aptly proven by the first chapter.

Tense changes, the passive voice drowns out everything, , too much reminiscing on the part of the characters, and the Marauders seem to be determined to outnumber the Weasleys at some point.

The writing style belongs to a fifth grader, except the author ran through what he wrote and then exchanged simpler words with rarer ones. The result is a badly written essay.

Damn. All these twin-Boy-Who-Lived stories with the author claiming they don't make the Potter abusive or even doing the logical thing and killing off Lily and James. And it barely helps.

2/5

 

I'm going to have to go with a firm NO on this one.
Andromalius pretty much said all that needs to be said about it imo.
1/5

 

Fucking noob. You can fuck right off with this shit.

This is one of the worst 'stories' I've ever read. I couldn't read past the 2nd chapter.


eyes burning/5

 

I was expecting a story about nocturnal emissions, I was sorely disappointed.

The first paragraph was confusing in its construction, as was the rest of the first chapter.

I skipped a few chapters (to chapter five) and found myself in a story that wasn't making me cringe at every turn:

Description was fine, even flowed well. Nothing stellar but I was relieved and thought to myself, "Well, this can't be as bad as everyone so far has made it out to be."

I soon found what everyone else had already stepped in, however:

[quote--

No I'm not even going to quote it. It's not worth anyone's time reading it. It's really just a lame action sequence between, James, Lily and six death eaters. I'm left briefly wondering whether I'm reading a stream of consciousness, with James and Lily shopping for clothes in one second, the next death eaters are telling James how great auror training is and that James is recalling that aurors are taught to run in the face of danger (what?).Then some bullshit happens (a magical bauble, no, don't ask me how a bauble can envelop a group of people and protect them) and I wonder why there aren't any good HarryLuna stories.

Story isn't as terrible as the first chapter makes it out to be. I don't think this is at all readable though. You can tell the author is trying hard and failing.