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Merit and Inheritance by Bfd1235813 - M

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Sesc, Nov 25, 2019.

  1. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

    Dec 20, 2007
    Blocksberg, Germany
    Title: Merit and Inheritance
    Author: Bfd1235813
    Rating: M
    Genre: Humor/Romance
    Status: In-Progress
    Library Category: Romance

    Harry had his fill of conflict so he developed a little business and used his spare time for a bit of do-gooding. Daphne got her mastery and became a healer. They had shared a moment or two but Harry made a mess of it, to his great regret. Why did Daphne seek out Harry when she needed another perspective? Was there an ember in those ashes?


    Another one from the Wheels within Wheels author. I'd say this one is more accessible because it's not quite as sprawling while talking about nothing in particular, but it's still slice-of-life-fluffy. Just more focused. I think the author's skills have improved, in this sense. The backbone of the story is Harry developing property, which I found interesting. YMMV. A thing with some attackers from a clan-like family from the continent pops up without forewarning and disappears in the same way. Apart from Morag's mum suffering from a stroke, I think it's also more magical (that was one complaint with the other story). The only question is how much story is left to tell, because what's there seems to about have run its course, as evidenced by rather big time skips lately.

    But, eh. If you want to read about Harry and Daphne being, essentially, rich and having a wizarding-upperclass romance, this might be your thing. If not, then not.

    It's probably going to be a 3/5 on average, but I guess I enjoyed it enough to give it a 4.
  2. pbluekan

    pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Jan 24, 2014
    Dancing in the Mindfield
    He’s an out of work, washed up, child celebrity and she’s a post-graduate student hunting for a career.

    Their budget is 1.8 million galleons.

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. Looks interesting and it’s Harry/Daphne, so I’ll give it a read. I’ll put a review here when I’m done.
  3. Stenstyren

    Stenstyren Professor

    Jan 9, 2009
    Hey @Giovanni perhaps there are chapters about cutting tiles?

    Anyway, will try this out!
  4. Meerkats

    Meerkats Auror

    Dec 16, 2012
    London, UK
    It's nice.

    The writing can be stiff at times and the dialogue feels somewhat inconsistent, and the story can be wildly unfocused and unstructured but it was an easy and entertaining read. The plot is mundane yet interesting and the characters and their relationships are fun to read about.

    There is some oddities though. The authors use of rape as back story for multiple characters is already a bit cliché, but the narrative does nothing to give any sort of weight to such tragedy. The characters show regret and sadness for a couple of lines and then immediately move on. I found it a bit strange.

    Another strange thing is Harry's infatuation with Narcissa. This has already been explained a bit through the whole family magic stuff and therefore could be resolved down the line but I think it's super wierd and unnecessary for now.

  5. Lungs

    Lungs KT Loser ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Jul 16, 2011
    i love girl's generation tbh
    High Score:
    okay this got me. i've been in a slice of life craze for over a year now and this is so very pleasant to read. easily 4/5 maybe higher depending on how it turns out, haven't finished yet and i absolutely adore it
  6. Zilly Sawdust

    Zilly Sawdust High Inquisitor

    Nov 30, 2005
    I am still on it, but will update. The style of writing appeals to me greatly. The setting recalls a bit of Sherlock Holmes to me, though I couldn't pin-point on why. Perhaps it's the general air of private eye that Harry has going about, which I like much better than the business portion,
    which just seems as a way to have Harry be competent in dealing with the Greengrass problems so that he can get Daphne back into his life
    . But eh, even that part is done well enough to deserve a pass. Though the interactions are a bit stiff so far, as @Meerkats said, everybody seems to be slightly punch-drunk in their emotional reactions, like there's some kind of lag or discrepancy going on between what happens and the expected (severity/timing of) reactions.
    The bit with family magics, an excellent use and a hint of extra mystery surrounding family portraits beyond simply spying/advice, I really enjoyed though.

    EDIT: As I am getting more along into it, the problems with the writing and the story start becoming more obvious. Sentences drag on and the sexism inherent in the writing is rather off-putting. I think what makes it worse is that the author seems to genuinely believe he is disparaging sexist views, but his "corrected" views reek of ignorant benevolent sexism. The evo-psych crap that's included there is just as laughable, as well.

    Based on those personal preferences, I give the story a 3/5
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2019
  7. Sk7

    Sk7 Muggle

    Feb 3, 2020
    Interesting :)
  8. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Apr 28, 2007
    This is low effort even by library review standards. In the future, please read the rules posted at the top of every subforum and in my signature in regards to what acceptable posting standards is for the library.

    Tell us why you thought it was interesting, why you felt like bumping a two and a half month old thread with a one word comment. Do you think its library worthy do you agree with other people's reviews on the story.

    Next time you post this way will result in a temp ban from the forums.
  9. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

    Mar 21, 2011
    I am genuinely baffled by how this is in the library. This story is... staid, boring, and without conflict. The only thing going for it is it has a bunch of English being English about English things.

    It's got a couple of interesting ideas, such as a bunch of people living isolated from everyone up in the Alps since Roman times (and that's hardly a spoiler so I'm not enclosing it) and some description of the magical economy. But then you remember the rest of the story. It was a slog getting through it. The characters... exist. They all seem to occupy the same, calm, high on weed mind frame. No one has any emotions except slightly prim and proper, and really prim and proper. The ones who don't are bad guys, and they don't matter because they have no power in the story.

    Harry uses the Elder Wand at one point in the story. I yawned. He gets married. Okay. He "confronts" someone important. I put that in inverted commas because the confrontation happened over tea and crumpets. The big bad talks politely with Harry and declines coffee in his office. Ron and Hermione aren't even explained away. They're just not there. Pansy is his best friend. Morag MacDougal is given disproportionate screen time despite not doing anything.

    This isn't slice of life, this is slice of boredom. Harry developing property is probably one half of a percent of this story. The rest of it is the Potters and Blacks having obscene wealth, Harry having no confrontations ever, and some weird kind of sexism which pops up here and there. I don't know what to make of this story except to call it a mediocre effort, albeit well-written.

    2/5. 1/5 for the plot and 4/5 for the writing.