THIS.​

Fo'sho.​

 

You miss the point, the point, clearly, is to point out funny fails. Wether you were born without a sense of humor or just skipped over the first post is irrelevant.

By the way, no, you´re not perfect other.

He´ll resent you for that cleaning comment buddy.

Morons had to be good for something.

LOL.

Please do. It`s more entertaining then half the other answers in this thread. Go on then, make me smile.

What can i say. HP is a defiant little bugger.

 

I think I hurt myself laughing so much. Please continue. I don't laugh nearly enough.

This is something that I occasionally do as I used to be really poor at spelling. I'm moderately better and rely on spell check far too much. The only thing I can say to explain it is that when I tried to sound it out and let the spell check do its thing 'defiantly' always popped up and 'definitely' never did. A quick, and thus sloppy, glance was all it took to totally screw up and click on the wrong word.

Seeing it was an ongoing problem made me learn to spell the word properly, or at the very least take my time and look before clicking. Now my biggest problem is Ruins/Runes or Tome/Tomb. But I'm getting better. It's not a matter of not knowing how to spell the word, it's about hearing it in my head, and my fingers typing out a totally different meaning word.

The weirdest thing is that I have no problem with long complicated words. I spell them perfectly. It's the little ones that my brain doesn't register properly, homonyms mostly. Like a little short circuit in my head... yes, I'm an android.

 

Library scenes must really haunt you. There is no way you can justify a tomb full of ruins, as oposed to the more conventional ruin full of tombs.

Go you.

I can defiantly apreciate that.

 

It really is mind boggling how often the definitely/defiantly thing shows up. Do people just skim over these words and decide what they must be instead of actually reading them?

bare/bear is always good for flushing out the exhibitionists who yearn to be free.

"Bare with me now."

Yes, make a habit of using that phrase around your coworkers and they'll think it's just an annoying verbal tic, when it's actually covert sexual harassment.

I've examined before the gruesome nature of people who don't realize that something which is infected and in a state of pustulation is pustulant... not pussy. In short...

I'm surprised at just how often the closet cannibals out themselves with the following...

He steeped his fingers.

Mmm, yes, why steeple your fingers when you can steep them instead and enjoy a nice cup of finger-flavored tea?

Unsurprisingly, the character most often tea-bagged in this fashion is Dumbledore. Being the good sport that he is, he just takes it on the chin and keeps on coming.

These authors who cannot distinguish food from friends are no doubt related to the ones who can 'barley' tell a grain from an adverb.

For such people, form doesn't follow function, it gets confused with it, and you end up with a sentence like...

"You fucked up the hole thing."

Why yes, yes you did. You raped the character in question, the English language, and our fragile minds, all at once. It's the trifecta!

'Might as well' being written as 'minus well' is one of the more bizarre errors I've seen, and too sad to be amusing.

Seeing someone repeatedly write 'off course' when they mean 'of course' makes me wonder when their education took a wrong turn.

And I desperately wish people would take the time to learn the difference between 'no less' and 'none the less' because there fucking is one, and it's not a small one either.

 

My God! That one had me in tears, Warlocke. I wish you'd write a short with all those errors. I would bust a nut.

Right now I am quite torn about how I feel about you. You made me laugh, then you disgusted me when you made me search that term online, but then you made me lose myself in a nostalgic haze when I was reminded of this: Remember the 90s?

 

I'm pretty good at avoiding these misspellings and word confusions, but I had prosecuting a war and persecuting a war mixed up for a really God damn long while.

 

Oh God. You bastard. I just sprayed Pepsi all over my keyboard

The one that bugs the shit out of me is when is when 'uh', a sound that generally indicates minor indecision or lack of anything useful to say, is replaced with 'ugh', which is more appropriate for use by cavemen.

 

Warlocke, ftfw.

Name changes out of left field.

Zaara the black gets additional points for not only seamlessly turning Harry into Naruto for a moment, but also having him hold a civil conversation with Lucis.

Also, Viktor Krum: A victor he is not.

This actually comes from one of only two Harry/Demelza stories in existence, and is truly worth a read - if only for the comically bad smut and an absolute fantastic cockblock ending. Shame though that poor Demelza, the most unused OC out there, still gets her name fucked up.

On the other hand, Bobbins actually fits her character perfectly as far as action is concerned.

 

Warlocke made me chuckle.

On a different and, certainly, more violent awesome) note. Someone should burn at the stake for mixing up HP and Naruto outside of a Crossover.

by the way is Lucis an OC or just Lucius (I once came across Luscious (not OC) in a fic. The trauma still lurks around my brain.)

Relevant side note: where does this guy live?

Edit: I just noticed... Someone actually wrote a Demelza R. / HP story?

 

Not one you'd really want to read without a good stash of brainbleach but yeah, someone did.

 

It's "nonetheless" and not "none the less".

I also occasionally see "what so ever", which should be "whatsoever".

 

That's the problem with being an asshole about spelling/grammar/mistakes. When you eventually screw up, you just look like the bigger douchecanoe.

 

Yes! I either posted a rant about that one here once, or complained about it in a review, I can't remember which (heh, might have been both).

Some authors have a tendency for their characters to say it a lot, so they sound like a pack of grunting neanderthals.

Indeed, I meant to make it bold and italicized like my other bad examples. I rushed because I needed to get off the phone (sigh, dial-up...).

Though, at the risk of being soft on bad grammar, I could almost deal with it being split into three words if people would just use it in the proper context.

That's one I've never seen before.

Of course, if I had to spot the bigger asshole, it wouldn't be the person taking the time to correct someone's mistakes for them (and cure them of their ignorance), it would be the authors that reply to such reviews with comments about how they don't have to correct their mistakes because they already explained they suck at grammar, so you should simply ignore it, or that they don't care how illiterate they seem.

Of course, I've noticed lately that many FFN authors, when their mistakes are pointed out to them, attack the reviewer in their author's notes (supported by the equally moronic drones that give them glowing reviews like, "Ur story is so kewl, i cant wait to see wut hapens to Hermione!"[sic]), then they remove the review. As if removing the complaint makes the author's mistakes go away.

Why admit ignorance when you can cover it up? Classy.

Nothing like being called an asshole by an author and his/her fans when you point out the difference between "there" and "their" or "you're" and "your".

 

Rabble rabble rabble

 

Because i need to bitch about something right now, (I burnt my popcorn, so now im grumpy and I have to bitch to get my self esteem back on track.) and because it really pisses me off, im just going to drop a comment about the greatest dialogue killer in fan fiction:

Some authors, in an incredible show of stupidity, probably brought about by mass-imbecilization, commonly blamed on l33t5p34k and burocracy find it necessary to end every single question with "isn´t it?" or "didn´t you?". That`s not hilarious the first time. It`s not hilarious the second time either. It IS hilarious, when Hermione says something like: "You came here from the future but you fucked up the ritual, didn´t you??" (for those who are wondering - something like that does in fact appear in one sad little story. The author probably included it to make Hermione´s all-knowing nature more apparent.)

Classic, too.

How witty. I italicized the commas and the period for you.

 

Its mostly gotten to the point that, onles it imposible to red, I can ignore most errors in a story. Such is the sad state of fan fiction that I read. >_>

However, one, or technically three, errors that drive me absolutely insane with rage...

The Crucio Curse, The Avada Kedavra Curse and, The Imperio Curse.

The third one has no excuse. Come the fuck on, faggots, TWO MORE LETTERS. YOU CAN DO IT! CUT HIS FUCKIN.. Sorry... >_>

Anyway. Avada Kedavra... THATS FUCKING LONGER THAN KILLING CURSE! WHAT THE HELL. Its right there in what it does. KILLS SHIT. KILLING CURSE.

No point teaching random teens how to use the fucking spells, is there?! THEN WHY NAME THEM AFTER THE INCANTATION.

[/mouth-frothing rage]

Just die. -_-

 

I think I just located one of the main sources of the definitely/defiantly clusterfuck.

If you misspell 'definitely' as 'definatly' in Microsoft Word, it auto-corrects to 'defiantly.' Doesn't even give you a choice; just changes it. Somebody needs to get Bill Gates on the horn.

 

Ow, my eyes. Why do you persist in utilizing the grave-accent in lieu of the standard apostrophe? This is really annoying.

Something that also annoys me greatly is reviewers who post vague reviews citing general problems with spelling and grammar, but not pointing out the specific mistakes. Perhaps this irks me so much because I'm a member of the FFML, which hosts a great number of members who post line-by-line reviews detailing every error found, as well as comments and criticisms.