And I said 'Mary Sue' *five* times. Plus I noted how some of Hermione's wokeness fits in as a *subset* of her Mary Sue-ness.

So - seriously - I dealt with the Mary Sue factor certainly as much as, if not more than, the wokeness. Which is an accurate balancing of what I state are the two main problems I have with the story - the wokeness and the Mary Sue-ness.

dictionary.com includes these definitions for the phrase 'deal with':

to take action on: "to deal with each problem in turn"

to be concerned with: "the book deals with Dutch art"

This is exactly what I do when I read the story, and what I have done in my little review here; I have 'taken action' on the problems, each in turn (by discussing/including them in this post, or mentally noting/critiquing/ridiculing the wokeness in my perusal); I have shown 'concern' for the problems both here and in my reading.

To put it in simpler terms for you, MuggsieToll - if I couldn't 'deal with' the Wokeness I would no longer be reading/tracking the story (or this thread). But I am.

Because I have, indeed, "dealt with it", MuggsieToll.

Yes; she's using the (optional) 'self-insert' attribute to try and avoid the label.

I've read the story in a couple of spurts - since the chapters are so short, and thus the story is growing only slowly - and it's been a while since I last caught up. What is the 'Avon Lady' subplot? My memory is failing me; or maybe the term is a colloquialism with which I am unfamiliar?

 

I guess they don't have Avon Ladies any more, but an Avon Lady used to be someone who went from door to door selling cosmetics. They would ring your doorbell and when you answered and asked who was there, they would say "Avon calling". There were many jokes about them. I'm not sure but it may have been in part an MLM scheme.

Anyway, without getting spoilery, Avon is still a big cosmetic brand, and in the story, Hermione and some of her classmates wear Avon make-up and there is a sub-plot related to that. You probably remember it now.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avon_Products#Business_model

 

Heh, yes, thank you.

Yes, that's just one of the myriad of Hermione-seems-to-be-the-only-muggle-raised-person-in-the-wzarding-world plots which make me grit my teeth. Although - with this particular 'Avon' one - if it was just her *Slytherin* classmates than it's perhaps warranted that Hermione, the only/first (?) muggle in that house, would have a clear sweep. I don't recall if classmates of other houses were involved. Or if there were other muggle-raised in Slytherin.

 

Well, I reached the diary arc. Hermione sure has the idiot ball now. Cringe. Lowering rating to 3, let's say still 3.5 but rounded down this time. I'm not enough of a trope connoisseur to list all the ones seen so far, but there are a lot.

I'm ok with the short chapters fwiw. Its gives convenient stopping points.

Hmm I don't see how to change rating from here. Will try on other computer later.

Edit: fixed rating, but I'm now giving it just plain 3.0. Too many problems solved by Hermione pulling yet another magic power out of nowhere, house elf magic, etc. I feel like this story needs a drinking game where you take a drink every time you spot another trope. The diary arc's suspense was less about "OMG how can she survive such danger!" than "OMG how stupid can she be!". And the stupidity ended up not even getting her in trouble, almost a failure of Chekhov's Gun.

I've also invented(?) a new trope, or at least one I hadn't heard of before. I call it Zeno's Paradox of Fanfic. It's where the story's pace (in terms of word count per in-universe year) gets slower as the end gets nearer. Rowling's HP books did the same thing, and in the HP movies, the last year had to be split into two parts, heh.

Added: in mercuryandglass's previous review thread, Zombie asked whether Hermione in the story was Black. I didn't particularly get that impression. But it is obvious to me that if they make this fic into a movie, Luna will have to be played by Whoopi Goldberg. At least, that's who I associate the most with all-knowing nature-magic characters. Heh.

 

Ok I'm about halfway through the thing now. Keeping rating at solid 3.0 or a bit higher and I think it's likely to stay there, but I'm resenting the situation a little bit. Fiction of medium quality like this is good enough to keep me reading. I'm fine with blowing an evening now and then on a 100K word story that's not great. I appreciate the good parts and forgive the cringe, remembering that fanfic is a hobby and that I like seeing creativity where I find it. But this story is a million words, which means it's going to occupy my reading time for weeks, when there are other things that I could be doing instead with the time. So I'm realizing that I can read so-so fics indiscriminately if they are of reasonable length, but if they are super long like this, I want them to be really really good (4.0 or higher anyway).

I do expect to read this all the way to the end. It is engaging despite some apparent howlers. Important things are introduced then apparently forgotten, as if the author is pantsing the whole thing. I had had the impression that there was more planning than that.

After finishing this I think I'm going to try reading an actual "littracha" novel (non-fanfic). It's been a while since I've done one of those. They take more effort, but at least they make me feel like like I'm improving my mind.

I hope it is ok here on DLP to make multiple posts like this as one progresses through a story. I feel ok about it since the site is so quiet anyway, but feel free to let me knoiw if it is a problem.

Added: omg, I should have said above, this story is a million words *so far*, which means after I finish what has been posted (I downloaded it into a single giant epub through fichub.com so it gives the impression of reaching an endpoint). I temporarily forgot that it is WIP. Given the "Zeno's Paradox" effect mentioned above, my guess is that it is less than half complete. Meh. But I guess the update rate is ok, a few short chapters per week, not too hard to keep up with. I like the short chapters. And to say something nice about the story, Hermione's visit to the Goblin city was enjoyable.

 

Yes. That's bad, I guess, but what I dislike extremely is that she is the only person in the entire wizarding world who comes up with these things. It's as if the rest of the muggle-raised forget all about their muggle society and knowledge as soon as they start Hogwarts. Leaving Hermione as the special Mary Sue who is the only one to think of the obvious.

I.e. your complaint is a large part of my overall 'Mary Sue' gripe.

Oh for goodness sake. I've come across this before, SJW zealots who seized on the casting of Hermione in the London stage play to try and force Hermione to be black in every work since because DIVERSITY!.

When it comes to New Blood I don't recall anything suggesting that Hermione is black. However I also don't remember anything describing her ethnicity at all. Since the author is so woke wouldn't be surprised if she is going one better than Rowling and actually doing what Rowling falsely claimed to have done - carefully writing Hermione with no racial markers at all.

Still, I wouldn't have particularly taken stock of any mentions of Hermione's "pale" or "white" face, her skin "browned by the sun" and so forth, a' la' Rowling.

Impossible. Luna is smarter than a potato.

(I know nothing about Goldberg other than the terrific couple of gaffes she's made over the last six months on The View.)

Yeah. The author is a good writer, it reads very well (although I get a bit tired at the continual description of the 'shining/glinting' eyes of all the characters as they regard Mary Sue Hermione with restrained passion).

 

I'm not familiar with The View, but Luna in New Blood reminds me of the omniscient bartender (Guinan) who Goldberg played on Star Trek TNG. As for forgetting things, it's not just that Hermione keeps being the first to think of stuff, it's also that the author forgets Hermione's own accomplishments. E.g., Hermione makes some money from a certain adventure. Then in a later adventure, she makes a much bigger amount, enough to make the first one almost insignificant by comparison. But the author forgets, and the first one stays important.

Also, she gains a surprising but not unbelievable "super power" with some practice. She later gains a separate, unprecedented and incredible "super duper power" through a secret ritual. Then, she gets to a situation that she can fix with either of the two powers, and she uses the super duper power instead of the regular super one, even though other people are watching so they get a much bigger shock, at something H would rather have kept under wraps.

Then there is the whole Tom Riddle diary thing, where almost every page has Hermione say "ok, this should work" and the reader scream "don't do that Hermione you idiot!". You expect disaster, or anyway some kind of suspenseful scene where she manages to pull it off. But in fact, preposterously, things come off without a hitch. I guess if I write an actual review I'll include spoilers.

Oh yes, she gets a time turner and she and/or her father are terrified that the Ministry is handing out time machines which can introduce all kinds of paradoxes. Maybe that reminds you of a similar scene in a different fic, heh heh.

This is still quite a bit more enjoyable than The Arithmancer though I guess that isn't saying much.

 

Well, I finished chapter 265, a whole chapter of Cedric tiptoeing around the idea of asking Hermione out on a date, and (spoiler) she also tiptoes around and finally says yes. I've never noped out of a story that I can remeber (= quit reading in the middle because some specific thing was offensive) but I've gradually lost interest in quite a few and I think that has happened here. Before this there was a chapter about Hogwarts' sex education class for 3rd-years (they explain where to get contraceptive potions etc.) and way too much about wizarding courting traditions (what color flower signifies what intention, yada yada). And I've realized this kind of fairly shallow teenage sociology and dating advice is way too much of the book, maybe the whole book.

The LGBT stuff I've seen in it so far didn't bother me at all. Some if it helped the story, the rest didn't get in the way too much, and the chapter where (spoiler) Hermione made out with Fleur was tastefully done. Maybe I would have gotten some worthwhile insights if I had read this book when I was 14. But I'm way out that age bracket now, and reading about tender teenage feefees just bores me to shreds. I recently read some unrelated HP/LOTR crossover fics written by an actual teenager and I thought they did a much better job of conveying the characters' inner thoughts and tensions (not romantic though). This one is fluff by comparison.

Maybe the situation with New Blood is that it is intended as a kids' or YA book, just like Rowling's HP series was. That's fine, the Rowling books were very popular in that demographic, but New Blood wasn't particularly pitched that way, so it's a let-down to realize this after reading a half million words of it. I liked the first Rowling book, plodded through the next couple, then gave up.

I'm not officially quitting reading New Blood but I have some other stuff that I've been neglecting that I better try to finish, and New Blood is still on my hard drive where I might or might not get back to it whenever.

Rating is unchanged at a little over 3, but my reading preferences run a little bit sharper, as it were. And oh yeah, the people of the land subplot reminded me of the linked quote from Blazing Saddles, heh.

 

Well, I last caught up to New Blood four months ago, chapter 403. I agree that there is a period of the story which has a lot of focus on the wizarding courting traditions; reading your comment I dimly remember wading through it. But I think it eases off after a while.

As Hermione is the story's Mary Sue *everyone* falls in love with her (or leaves the readers anticipating same) ... so I guess it's only reasonable for the author to flesh out the teen-romance structure to most effectively illustrate the manifestation of everyone's affections for our awesome heroine.

 

That's an interesting take, and i have to say it's not working that well? Hermione is annoying and a little too Slytherin for my tastes including in the bad ways . I've read some more though. I don't exactly mind the dating rituals or the transgender kid arc in terms of the content. It's just that they are so slow paced and boring. Also the author goes out of her way to tell us that the story is set in 1993 and the trans kid's treatment reflected the theories of that era but it would be handled differently now. Ok fine, but if she's out to educate us about this stuff, she could say what would be different, lol.

The author has been hinting at one quite interesting thing, which is that

Spoiler

the real source of magic is the Fae courts.

But I wonder if she'll forget about that, or anyway not develop it much.

Addition: Ron bashing is another recurring theme and it is annoying. I understand now why Reddit complains about it so much. I never minded it before, but in other fics I've read that had it, Ron was basically dismissed as a lightweight or used as comic relief. Here, he causes real problems and it is cringy to read.

Added 2: if anyone, I'd have to say the most appealing character for me in this story is Luna rather than Hermione. Luna is drawn in much less detail though.

Added 3: Sally-Anne Perks is in chapter 327! The author doesn't know about Perks' strange disappearance, I guess .

 

Well, it's difficult to discuss without spoilers, but I thought there was a *lot* of romantic angst and speculation going on in the story - does Cedric have feelings for Mary Sue, does Draco, does Fleur - and a lot of it is hung on the author's rules for wizarding love - Oh My Gosh Cedric gave you this, that means X! OMG Draco gave you that! Carefully worked out to mean Y! He gave you *this* for Valentine's Day, OMG! And so forth. There seemed to be a lot of that, to me.

The kids are only, what, twelve, thirteen (too early IMO to have real 'romantic' thoughts at all, but that's a common problem with fan fiction) and having teen romantic feelings shown by various jewellery worn and customs followed is a nice way to show child-friendly pre-romance without the actual romance. The author is in for the long haul and I think *everyone* is going to orbit around Hermione at some stage with 'glinting eyes' and express their interest, many through these complicated societal rules.

And not that the author's opinion on what constitutes transgender theory now is all that absolute either, I would think.

Can you quote one example for us to discuss? It's not 'Ron bashing' if it realistically fits with the canon characterisation, right?

 

Right, I don't mind the presence of such angst in the story, it's not offensive or mega-cringe, it's just that there is so many pages spent on it. I'm starting to get to some maybe juicier arcs of the book (like the house elves, goblins, and magical serfs all about to revolt?) and feel like all the angst fluff and most of Hermione's in-school stuff could have been compressed by like 90%.

I see, perhaps. From the outside I find her to be something of a git, but that's just me.

Well I think she made some effort to set out what the medical/psychiatry practitioners of that time recmomended. I do believe there was some level of consensus in the professional community at that time, and that there is a different one now, but I don't know much about specifics.

If New Blood's treatment of Ron is consistent with Rowling's then I guess most fanfic that I've read is kinder to Ron than Rowling was. I confess that I read Rowling quite a few years ago, stopped after the first 3 or so books, and got interested in HP fanfic much more recently, so I'm more used to fanfic depictions than Rowling's. I'll defer to your wisdom about this. I would consider https://archiveofourown.org/works/5465438 to be a Ron bashing story though: it is very short and funny.

Oh yes (ch. 354):

Remind you of anyone?

 

Yes, I'm sure (chapter 413):

The hand of the Dark Lord is clearly at work here.

Update: Ok, I finished what is currently posted, and it will be a while before more chapters appear. I'm glad I kept reading after I said I had lost interest. The story got a lot more interesting after that. So I think this is still a 3/5 story with a 4/5 story inside it trying to get out. There is good stuff but it needs a drastic amount of shortening. Almost everything in the first couple years that rougly mirrors Rowling could be compressed a lot, and tons of lingering descriptions and mundane conversations should also be chopped or compressed.

I think that it what happens with commercial novels, when an editor at the publishing house gets the manuscript. They work with the author to cut out the fluff. The first Rowling book was fairly brisk, probably because of that process. In the later ones, Rowling became rich and powerful enough to defeat the editors and get her dreck published without any cuts. So for me at least, the original HP series kept getting worse as it went on.

 

Author is back and is doing well with her new kid. New chapter is up. I haven't read it yet.

 

I would venture the proposition that there is no story worth telling that needs over 400 chapters to be told.

 

Yes, loud agreement with me.

This problem - the ratio of 'dreck' to actual substance, the paucity of bonafide story material in the HP books - is most visibly manifest in HBP, I reckon. At this stage in the series Rowling really only had one important thing she needed to do in Harry's sixth year - kill Dumbledore, his mentor, leaving him to face Voldemort relatively alone in the final novel. But that had to happen at the end of the year/book because ... that was the pattern to which she was bound.

And so we got hundreds of pages of 'dreck' to fill the school year, exciting things like seeing what boy!Voldemort ate for breakfast at the orphanage 50 years earlier, the mystery of a potions textbook that had no relevance to the series conclusion and the nonsensical teenage hormonal hijinks at Sweet Valley Hogwarts.

 

Chapter 421 went up today (chapter 420 a couple days ago) so I guess we are back on Friday updates? Anyway, the writing is unnecessarily detailed as usual, but the story is moving forward albeit slowly.

I don't think the number of chapters is so terrible per se: they are fairly short. It's the word count that is excessive. If 50-100 of the chapters were chopped out, and most of the rest trimmed to 50% of their current size, this would be quite a good story.

If my understanding of the beginning note is right, we are now in the summer before the 4th year of the 7 year story. Assuming it keeps slowing down per Zeno's Paradox mentioned further up, it will probably be 1000+ chapters and 3M words by the time it is done. That is scary.