Funnily enough, this was the story from jbern I actually enjoyed the most. I'm a big fan of those kinds of 'sports films' (grew up in a house where that stuff was very common), and although I've seen a few fics attempt to pull that angle with Quidditch, I'm not convinced jbern's done a good enough job here to do honour the movies that inspired it. The Natural, The Love of the Game, Field of Dreams... those are classics, and while I appreciate attempts to pay tribute to that, I don't think this was the right way to do it.

Still, in a fic like this, we run into all the problems I normally have with jbern's work - the wooden, uncanny feeling of his dialogue, the clunky description, the attempted faux-epicness that breaks down under any scrutiny. And once again, it's a reinvention of a concept that's been done a dozen times with a bit of flair, but none of the heart that makes me feel for the characters. It's good on the surface, but I can't connect with any of the emotion that I felt for the characters coming out of those old sports movies. It's got a pretension to greatness - which is partially ruined by the sloppiness of the ending, which doesn't even tie to the story that I liked to see emphasized, which was the Quidditch story.

Once again, it's... well, it's okay, but I've seen better in this vein, and jbern has problems with literary style that, in my opinion, haven't been rectified. And this story, like the rest of his, I find forgettable.

2/5, and that's because I've read better.

 

I didn't care for 'For the Love of the Game' when it was released. This story, however, is better than the movie.

One thing in favor of 'Number Games' is that jbern didn't try to make Nishita a member of the Falcons. On the other hand, I disliked the framing device used in the movie, and its use in the story reminded me of the movie I didn't like.

4 stars.

 

Better than I expected when I read the summary. I liked it a lot.

4/5.

 

Gotta agree with most of the people in this thread. Wasn't expecting too much but turned out to be pretty interesting and an enjoyable read. More clever stuff JBern, it suits you better.

4/5

 

It was an ok read, technically good, but the protagonist is not a sympathetic character and I didn't want him to win, neither the game nor the girl. Also, he is much too competent to be Ron Weasley. Cheating on his wife the moment he got famous enough to have fangirls is in character, but being honestly that good at pro quidditch, being the best duelist in his whole extended family, taking out professional bodyguards and playing a hall of fame worthy game when he's retiring is not. Also, Hermione dating and marrying him was a stupid thing JKR did, but Padma the ambitious arithmancer would not be interested in a dumb unfaithful jock for exactly the same reasons and she would know all about his behavior as an adult to know he won't grow out of it or be changed by a loving woman. If I'm going to read wish fulfillment fantasy fiction, I prefer a fantasy for 15 year olds instead of 45 year olds. Also, this felt like a writing assignment for class instead of a story jbern wanted to tell.

 

What Perspicacity and Dethklok said.

I'm not a jbern hater and don't label everything he writes as crap. But when I realized it was a Ron-centered piece and about Quidditch to boot, I almost stopped reading. Jbern's "Unlikely Allies" one-shot (adult short story) was meh and pointless, his latest "Inner Eye" I just cannot stomach at all. Besides, I never liked sport event centered stories. So, I have no idea why I didn't stop reading, probably because it was jbern.

Ok. This isn't much about Quidditch. It's more about the middle-aged Ron reminiscing on his life. It also serves as epilogue for Harry Potter series.

Ron's early life was spent in carousing and debauchery, just as I imagined it would be for the canon Ron. He diddles any young female willing to jump his bones, he has as much fun as he can get. As a result, he's alone, divorced and has kids he must support. All that is counter-balanced by the fact that he is a decent fighter, a decent father, a decent Quidditch player (he lasted more than Wood did), also, he had overcome his issues of being Harry Potter's shadow. He has regrets for allowing his maybe true love to slip away.

Ok. When Ron sounded these regrets, it became obvious how the story will end. Jbern had purposefully balanced Ron's character so he'd be taken positively by the reader. Also, for this same purpose is Harry Potter's participation: Harry is charismatic and god-like (similar to how nonjon portrays him), together with Ron they kick arses in Asia where there are characters made specifically so Harry and Ron may kick them: typical heroes/meanies.

This all creates an atmosphere where the reader can sit back and enjoy a nice (if a completely predictable and a bit too sweet) story while sipping his wine. This is a nice/sweet/relaxing story by design. Any small detail in that story was there simply to add to that atmosphere.

Yes, it is too obvious, too predictable. Still, it is extremely well-written. So, I sat back and enjoyed it while sipping wine and listening to Edith Piaf on the background.

P.S. I caught only one error:

5/5

 

I believe Alexeyy put it better than I could, save predictable isn't my cup of tea. It is well-written, but there are rough spots that permeate his prose. I liken them to his style and not flaws, though. So...

4/5.

EDIT:

Comma not needed.

Needed a comma there.

Two ands like that make it awkward. One is used as a conjuction the other linking grouping two words. Put comma or replace and with then would make it read easier.

Capitolize them, kind of like MVP, Most Valuable Player.

P.S. I caught these. . I actually expected to see a lot less, considering his publishable skills. He mentions an edited version he was going to put up, I think, but I'm not sure.

 

JBern did state that the version on ffa.net was unbetaed and a betaed version would be up as soon as Aaran St. Vines is finished.

 

It was fun to read; nothing more. I don't really like fics that focus on a different character than Harry, so maybe I was prejudiced before reading it.
The story in itself is good, the writing is solid, but I did not really get into it; never felt sympathy for Ron there. Maybe it's because of JBerns not-so-prominent Ron-Love, but I had the overall feeling that there was no real emotion behind it.

No high or low points, as has been said before.
I've given it a 3/5

 

Reflection... at a point in time we all do it.Some only get to do it in their second half of life.

I am not a Ron fan at all. His traits and actions leaves a lot to be desired

But here we had a chance to see him realise his mistakes and to a certain extent justify and criticize them. Should have crucified himself rather, but that is just me, and maybe a few others.

The relationship and where it is heading with Hermione is also well portrayed. Although I do not believe it would have lasted even remotely that long.

Him playing for Chudley... they deserve each other.

It reminds some of the idiocy perpetuated by one Ronald Weasley. I have forgotten some of them. He is very well characterized here.


The writings is "all Jim". We have seen this in all his fics, of which I am an avid follower.

Harry being the "stick" of the wizarding world is actually expected.

When I read the part that said [wrong brother] i was howling with laughter.

All in all it is a very enjoyable read for that I think a 4/5 is the least it deserves.

I would really like some other individuals characterized like this. I think that the Flamels will be nice to see. Even Fudge would be good.

 

I maintain that the start of 'Bungle' was at least one, possibly two orders of magnitude better. I've found very few stories that managed to catch my attention quite as fast as 'Bungle' did.

 

I maintain you have no taste. I'm by no means a fan of this story, but Bungle was just awful. Not only was it dead and lifeless, but the PoV was fucking annoying as shit. Luna... was Mary Sue V3. Harry was just down right infuriating as far as I'm concerned.

This was at least mildly interesting, even if it did continue the same bland characters and shoddy premises. Not any less enjoyable for it since I would only consider it a time waster, but not nearly good enough for a 5 even if I put my name on it.

 

4/5. Good but I'll never come back to it.
Does anyone think the value of this story is lessened if it's a retelling of for the love of the game? I haven't seen the movie, so I don't know how it compares.

 

Coming from you I take that as a compliment.

Since we know each others feelings about JBern's work I see no need to re-hash the argument, However since you apparently missed a Key word in my last post I'll emphasize it for you

I maintain that the start of 'Bungle' was better.

Edit: @ sincostan. Not so much. It's a HP version of the movie, only with less Angst and Drama.

 

I've only read the reviews and all there is is the usual cock sucking and ones that shit on everything that jbern does. The only person that really surprised me was Vash. Well done sir. You were able to put aside your dislike of a writer and review fairly and honestly one of his stories and not dislike it for the fact that he wrote it. Props to you.

I'll give it a whirl tomorrow and leave a review. I'm just hoping it's not another flop like Inner Eye >_>.

Edit:
It's good. Not the most original, but good. The whole Padma curse seems contrived, but I have a soft spot in my heart for love conquering all soppy love stories. 4/5

 

I am a fairly vocal Ron Basher, let's face it. I have paired him off with Umbitch and his own sister, and will probably do worse to him in the future.

While I started off hoping for him to have a heart attack, or something similar, I found myself somewhat respecting Ron.

Still a douchebag of course, but he has at least grown up for the most part. He acknowledges most of his flaws, and has gotten on with his life. I liked this version of the JKR epilogue far better than the canon.

I also enjoyed the bitch!Hermione. I like her and all, but even in canon she has proved she can be pretty vindictive. She forgives him a little, but finally has enough. Taking every penny she can get from him seems particularly fitting, since he was always so pissy about being poor.


I also think that Ron being semi capable when it came to the Padma/Master thing is believable. It's not like he was going up against a Dark Lord here. He went against an Arithramancer(sp?) and his flunkies. That's the equivalent of going down to your girlfriends' Math prof who is trying to get in her pants and roughing him up. He still gets brought down, and wakes up in jail.

I like the Harry in this, especially the big stick line. A mature, calm badass!Harry is always fun.

5/5 and I wouldn't mind seeing more of this AU. Seeing Harry or Hermione's POV would be interesting.

 

What? Mother fucker, I will kill you.

 

I like a lot of jbern's stories, but this: Just Boring

 

I'm a JBern fan and I also have a soft-spot for the occasional Ron-centric story (Ron/Pansy is my OTP from back in the DAY), so this was right in my wheelhouse. While this isn't Jim's all-time greatest work, like several other people I rather enjoyed Ron's characterization as an unrepentant manchild. He owned his flaws and he seemed quite comfortable in his own skin. It was refreshing.

Also:

LOL

Q: How many women would rather fuck a professional athlete than somebody "good for them"?

A: ALL OF THEM