Fixed that typo for ya.

 

So Surge is a massive, cock loving bitch. It's not so much that he is hard (Wartortle with dig says "hi" but rather that if you hit Pikachu with an attack the little fucker paralyses you, which wastes a turn (or more if Raichu uses thunder wave) where Surge is dealing super effective damage to you. He gives me some useless shit that i'll never use (when do I need lightning moves after Misty?) but i'm definitely going to have to level the rest of my party so they will be useful. Erika should fall to Primeape using fire punch but just in case i'll level Foresight up too. Raph is almost a Blastoise, so I'll finish that first.

So it's time for a trip down Diglett tunnel!


....Just kidding, girl want my attention. Dig to the pokemon center and heal up.

 

For some reason I thought Aerodactyl was 4x weak to ice, and spent 30 turns in a stale mate where my vaporeon alternated being paralyzed and flinched by thunderfang in between hyper potion shots and full restore cocktails, hoping to eventually kill Lance's rock bird bastard with ice beams that did 90%. Lance used 4 full restores on the damn thing, paralyze locked me 3 times, and flinched me 6 times.

Aerodactyl is pretty fucking strong.

 

That reminds me Churchey, while getting the HM Fly from that cunt hidden outside of Celadon I had to sacrfice you to save LT2000 D8 Anyways I replaced you with Zoe the Raticate right after but RIP my cute kitty. I didn't teach Poytin fly because he has wing attack, for now I am using CareOtters the Spearow for that. As for Oz, I will level him and than weigh my options once I actually revive the Old Amber

Team
LT2000 the Weepingbell Level 34
Wildfeathr the Jolteon Level 30
Vira the Sandslash Level 34
CareOtters the Spearow Level Nobody Cares
Oz the Snorlax Level 30
Poytin the MotherFucking Fire Dragon [TM Menace]

Box
Anya the Pidgey
Zoe the Raticate
Sree the Diglett
Syed the Butterfree

RIP
Joey the Rattata
Menace the Mankey
Churchey the Meowth

 

I spent about 5 minutes thinking of a rebuttal and couldn't

well played, chief

 

Right, well I decided to start up a Nuzlocke Challenge (normal rules) on HeartGold.

For my starter, I chose Totodile and named him Tsunami. Blasting through the intro stuff, I eventually encounter my first pokemon, a level 2 Pidgey. I crit-hack it and killed it.

Sadly, I go to Route 46 in hopes of catching a Geodude. I manage to find one and I promptly name him Rock.

On the way to Violet City, I catch myself a Caterpie and name him Bug. So my team at this time is pretty freaking useless in Bellsprout tower. While I am inside, I catch a Rattatta named Rat to be used as a poor HM slave. It takes forever to kill all these Bellsprouts with a freakin Metapod. Eventually, Bug evolves into a somewhat useful Butterfree and we kick the Elder's ass. After that, I work on getting Rock to level 11 for Rock Throw. With these guys I manage to sweep the Violet City gym. Afterwards, I get myself an Egg.

Heading south, I make a pitstop in the Ruins of Alph to do some extra stuff there. When that is done, I head south hoping to catch a Mareep. Sadly, I run into a Hoppip. I catch it and name it Trash, incase I need it for some strange reason. I make my way to Union Cave and manage to snag myself a Sandshrew who I name Claws.

Upon exit, I have to deal with Team Rocket wanting some tasty slowpoke tails. While In the cave, my Egg hatches into a Togepi who I name Qun. I help Togepi get strong on the rockets and many many Zubats (I catch one, who I name Bat) and eventually tackle the gym. This gym proved to be a little bit harder. Bugsy has that annoying Scyther that can kick ass. With Bug, however, I managed to put it to sleep and kill it with Rock as it stayed asleep for 4 turns. I kill the Metapod and Kakuna with Qun.

My rival, who I had named Felix challenges me. I wipe the floor with him and enter the forest. I catch myself an Oddish who I promptly name Forest. Once I acquired Headbutt, I tried to get myself a Heracross in Azaela Town and Route 33 but no look. Only Spearows. I did catch one and named it Bird.

After the forest, I find myself in a new route that spawns me a Drowzee. I sort-of want him so I catch him and name him Dazed. I put both Dazed and Forest in the daycare for my time here. I will need them later!

During this route, Tsunami evolves into an awesome Croconaw!

After completing the Goldenrod extra stuff, I think to myself on how I am going to beat Whitney. I want to save my pokemon for the Eevee in this town, thus I go north to try and catch a Nidoran. I enter the grass in Route 35 and what do I find? A motherfucking Ditto. Useless piece of shit of a pokemon for this run. Though, I guess I could breed endless Eevee's! I catch the Ditto and name him Zac for he is a blob.

Today happens to be Thursday so I decide to enter the Bug-Catching Contest. Here, the Nuzlocke Rule was suspended due to the nature of the contest. However, the pokemon caught here may not be used. I find myself a level 14 Pinsir and manage to catch it without hurting it at all. I nickname him Beast anyways and somehow I win 1st place at the contest. My prize? A motherfucking Sun Stone.

I move onto the next route and encounter a female Nidoran. I quickly catch her and name her Nido. In this route, Route 36, I lose my first pokemon. That fucking Psychic with his fucking Kadabra manages to one-shot Rock, my Geodude. Rest in Piece, Rock.

I train Nido for a while until she evolves into a Nidorina and then a few levels. With her Doublekick, I decide to go take on Whitney. I destroy all of her trainers with Nido. Once I heal up and face Whitney, I make short work of her Clefariy. The fun stops there though because the legendary Milktank comes out to play. This fucker can heal herself, has a very strong stomp, has Attract (FUCK YOU WHITNEY) and of course that Rollout. With Nido out, Milktank never uses Rollout. Stomp hurts a lot and my Doublekick does nothing. Through a lot of potion use, switching pokemon, use of the Quick Claw and one sacrifice in Rat, I manage to slay her Milktank through her two Super Potions and many Milk Drinks.

When that is all over. I quickly heal up and leave. I need to go meet Bill for my Eevee. I make it to Ecruteak City and meet Bill. I go back to Goldenrod and deposit three pokemon. I get Eevee from Bill, who I name Dog. I go back to the daycare and gather up Forest and Dazed. Forest is now level 20 and Dazed is 19. I use my rare candy on Forest to make her a Gloom. Then, using the magical Sun Stone that I won earlier on I quickly turn Gloom into a Bellossom. Not the strongest pokemon but she'll do.

I return to Ecruteak City to start a new day. I need to decide what to evolve Dog into.


Current Roster

Nido - Level 22 Nidorina
Tsunami - Level 21 Croconaw
Forest - Level 21 Bellossom
Qun - Level 20 Togepi
Dazed - Level 19 Drowzee
Dog - Level 5 Eevee

Boxed
Claws - Level 20 Sandshrew
Bat - Level 8 Zubat
Trash - Level 6 Hoppip
Bird - Level 8 Spearow
Zac - Level 10 Ditto
Beast - Level 14 Pinsir
Bug - Level 14 Butterfree

R.I.P
Rock - Level 15 Geodude
Rat - Level 6 Rattata

 

Alright back on for pokemon: Nuzlocke!

My load starts up and I head back to Diglett cave/tunnel/whatever the fuck this place is. Since I got the evolution to blastoise I wanted for Raph, I look at my party to figure out who is super effective against diglett so I can level the easiest. Cheated might be, but Stoney sure is and he bullet seeds and leech lifes his way through the cave with full HP. I want to evolve him before I finish grinding here, but I will eventually run out of PP for my moves, so I leave the cave and get flash from one of the professor's aides, which I will never bother to use since it's such a bitch to get off and completely useless. If I have a lot of trouble in the caves (unlikely) I have both dig and teleport, plus 2 escape ropes and a retardedly diverse party to run through the caves with.

With that in mind I teleport back to Vermillion city, because fuck walking through caves. It seems like diglett has a skillset to annoy me. It generally either growls or digs, but will occassionally magnitude or fury swipes, which generally get it paralyzed/sleeped/poisoned (because Stoney lives up to her name, damnit) making the grind even more tedious than expected. The ony bright side is that bullet seed will occasionally one shot enemy diglett. At level 24 Stoney becomes a parasect, which is pretty cool looking for a giant mushroom turtle-thing. In retrospect I have a lot of circle+limb shaped pokemon in my party (Blastoise, Parasect, Primeape) but nothing I can really do about that.

I still want to get about 4 more levels for Stoney and evolve Cheated, even though she's a useless bint. So back to my spelunking adventure for a little while. There's something really satisfying about taking a magnitude 9 and taking 3 points of damage. I didn't like Stoney originally but she grew on me. It doesn't hurt at level 27 she learns a 100% accuracy sleep status affect move.

Of course within 2 diglett battles Cheated is completely useless, and I'm not feeling patient enough to want to grind on them having to switch out to Raph or Stoney, so it's off to....

Off to... Uhm...

Shoot, where do I need to go anyway? Well, I have a bike voucher to turn in, so I'll do that until I can remember which and how to get to the cave I "need" flash in. I head back to diglett cave to level up Cheated and he dies to a dugtrio's magnitude 7 in one shot. Could not trade, run, or do anything else to abate the incoming death. First nuzlocke death ever, and to be honest it couldn't have happened to a better specimen. That piece of shit was useless, i'll just level my kadabra on the weaker pokemon outside and get a hitmonchan from the dojo and teach it fire punch.

Speaking of Kadabra I need to level him up, but i'll do it on the weak level 13s outside town this time. For some ludicrous reason bellsprout takes super effective damage from psychic, so I won't even need to get hitmonchan or teach it fire punch. If I ever get an eevee maybe i'll evolve it into a flareon just so I have a fire type, but to be honest I'd greatly prefer an Arcanine/Growlith. After level 28 I think it's time to head to greener pastures and look at the map trying to find the right caves.

Eventually the map makes me realize I need to go east out of Cerulean city, with my newly acquire cut HM. I tentatively decide to let Foresight lead the way, even though the only newly acquired 28. Psychic is pretty useful against most of the remaining gyms, at least the ones Raph doesn't already cover with bite and water pulse (and eventually surf). Poison and Grass seems to be weak to it, and he covers the mini gym for fighting also, nevermind how good he is vs Giovanni. I'm getting a bit tired though, so I save and call it in for the night.


Graveyard:

Cheated the mankey

 

Time to move onto the Johto portion of the N2 Gauntlet.

I had a Soul Silver save ready and waiting, just before Violet City. Perfect. With the name of Goatman and a Chikorita named Chloroform, I decided to keep up the naming theme of drugs, although I ditched the little green bean.

MPA the EKANS

Lv: 4

Ekans it is. I love this snakey bastard, although it took a lifetime to grind up to level 9 with only Wrap and Poison Sting. But all good things come to those who wait, and I eventually got Bite. Then after trouncing Bellsprout Tower, I learned the fabulous Glare. I was a bit reluctant to take on Falkner with only one Pokemon, so I trounced his first minion and that brought MPA up to level 14.

Bam. New Pokemon. I was hoping for a Zubat to keep with the Team Rocket vibe, but found a Geodude. Disappointing, but useful. And disturbing, because it's a female Geodude, which always creeps me out. If it survives to Red, I'll perform the killing blow on his last Pokemon with Explosion.

Vicodin the GEODUDE

Lv: 2

A bit of grinding wasted some time, but proved to be useful, as Falkner's damn Sand Attacks made poor MPA useless. Thankfully Vicodin was sturdy enough to take a few hits when I switched her in, and Tackled the shit out of those birdbrains.

Zephyr Badge
0/1 Evolutions used

Apparently the Zephyr Badge lets you use Rock Smash. Who knew? Picked that up and gave it to Vicodin in preparation for that thundercunt Miltank I know is waiting up the road in Goldenrod City. It wasn't very useful for the trip down to Union Cave - apparently not all early game trainers have normal pokemon in Johto. How odd. Still, it came in handy enough to smash the faces of Rattata in through the cave.

I tried to buy a Slowpoketail, but apparently Team Rocket have a very poor scholarship program, and my evil league of evil student grant will only fund me a plate of beans and an affinity for poison Pokemon. Angry and hungry, desperate for that sweet sweet Slowpoke nectar, I rampaged through Slowpoke Well, picking up a Zubat in the process.

2C-I the Zubat
Lv: 6

Little 2C-I the Zubat is adorable. Its sprite in HGSS is one of my favourite Pokemon sprites, and the overworld babybat following me around was cute as anything. D'aww. I levelled her up a bit, then went to bully a small child - Bugsy.

Something weird happened then. Scyther almost raped level 12 2C-I and 19 MPA, and only the unfuckable mass of level 14 Vicodin saved us from a world of pain. Both others had only a sliver of health left when Bugsy finally passed out in a puddle of his own piss and vomit. I went through his pockets for spare change, but it still wasn't enough to buy a Slowpoketail. Goddamn do I need a Slowpoketail.

Hive Badge
0/2 Evolutions used
​

Silver fell like a little girl who ran with scissors, but the glow of victory soon faded. Ilex Forest. TREES EVERYWHERE. I had nothing which could cut. There was Paras everywhere, which was nice, but after the arduous process of grinding 2C-I up to level 16, the time had switched over, and they were no longer abundant.

I got stuck with a Kakuna. Not bad, though. Beedrill is awesome if you fiddle stat modifiers a bit, and at least I didn't have to use up two evolutions.

2C-B the Kakuna
Lv: 5

Grinding took far too long because I had to switch-level forever. But at last, out came Beedrill. I taught it Cut and U-Turn, then went on through the Ilex Forest. Some hooker tried to proposition me halfway through the woods, and although I wasn't interested, Beedrill took her aside. I don't know what they were doing, but it seems like he has a thing for geisha. I hope this doesn't become a problem later on. There's no way I'll be able to fund his prostitute problem if I'm saving for Slowpoketail bounty.

2C-B the Beedrill
1/2 Evolutions used
​

Whupped some Camper ass, evolved Ekans, and passed by the local Pokebrothel, which turned out to be frequented by my childhood friend. Weird bitch that she is, I bet she's the worst kind of furry - a pokefurry. The owners forced me to sign up for their telephone marketing scheme. Remind me to get a new phone in Goldenrod. Zubat finally hit level 17 and learned Wing Attack. After hours of grinding, I finally have a deadly bat weapon.

MPA the Arbok
2/2 Evolutions used
​

Well, Goldenrod has no phone stores, but I got a sweet deal at the Radio Tower and Bike Shop. Then disaster struck. I would have cried, had I not been emotionally and physically numb from Slowpoketail withdrawal.

Whitney'd Miltank is a foul bitch cow, and everybody knows it. MPA paralyzed it twice. The first time, it gorged its fat face on a berry and rolled out of paralysis. Bitch. Attract made MPA near-useless, so I switched it out for 2C-I. After piling on three Screech attacks, so it was at -6 def. Wing Attack. Bam. I expected a OHKO, but nope, half health. On well. It Stomped me. Almost killed me. Now here, I should have switched out, but as Miltank was paralyzed, and I was sure a Zubat would outspeed it, I went ahead and Wing Attacked again. Miltank Stomped. It missed, but Wing Attack left Miltank with a tiny piece of health. I tried again.

Oh God.

Farewell 2C-I. Bye bye batty.

RIP 2C-I the Zubat

May you harass travellers in the beautiful slowpoketail-filled caves in the sky until the end of time. Fly on, sweet narcotic prince.

Vicodin rolled in and Rock Smashed Miltank in half, but the damage was done. I didn't even say good job, Geodudette. I could never love a Geodude the way I loved that Zubat.

Plain Badge
2/3 Evolutions used

End of Session Report:

Team:

MPA the Arbok:
Level 23
Vicodin the Geodude:
Level 20
2C-B the Beedrill:
Level 15

The Loved and Lost:
2C-I the Zubat:
Level 17
​

 

And thus, my Nuzlocke adventure comes to a close.

I battled Pryce. It started off well. Churchy the Jolteon took care of the Seel in two Thunder Shocks, but that Piloswine was another matter. I went into Rents the Corsola to Surf that bastard, but Mud Bomb did around 50% damage and I was the slower one. I switched into Taurina the Hoothoot to buy some time and Piloswine set up Hail. Haha, Hail, why was it wasting its time. I healed Rents, and SUDDENLY BLIZZARD. Shit, shit, shit. Back to Rents, I used Surf, getting it into red and Mud Bomb did its usual amount of damage. Pryce healed and I used Surf again. Now I healed, and here came the Mud Bomb- CRIT.

RIP, my Corsola.

I needed damage control. I sent in Lucky the Togetic to do some damage - but surprise! – Piloswine was faster and sent Blizzard my way. What a shitty death for my Togetic. Hail ended right after, so I sent in Churchy the Jolteon. I used Tail Whip, while Piloswine set up its Hail again, then used Dig. If nothing else, no one was out-speeding my Jolteon. Dig did about a quarter. Blizzard did 1/3, surprisingly. I used Dig again, took another Blizzard in return, and switched to my last throw away Pokemon, Lungs the Krabby, while I healed. The Piloswine murdered the Krabby, poor guy, and I went into Churchy for one last attempt. I used Dig, Piloswine used Ice Fang and didn’t freeze me, thank god, I used Dig again and CRIT. Suddenly the Piloswine was dead, but there was still one Pokemon remaining. The Dewgong wasn’t much trouble. It died after two Thunder Shocks, and I emerged into the cool Mahogany air, victorious, while lugging four corpses behind me. The only survivors were Churchy and Rhys the Exeggcute, who I kept out of the battle.

I needed new Pokemon, but I didn’t have any available routes left to plunder. Some guy wouldn’t let me head to Ice Path, so when Elm called in a panic over Team Rocket in Goldenrod, I felt obligated to do something. Added to the team were Seratin the Goldeen and Poytina2 the Pidgeotto for Fly support.

While detangling the Rocket mess, I attempted to train Seratin into a badass Seaking, but my hopes and dreams ended when he died in his second battle. Goddamnn it, Goldeen. In better news, Hallelujah and praise the Lord, Rhys learned Confusion! Finally, a psychic attack. Now if only her grass-typing would magically disappear then maybe Rhys could kill poison-types properly.

Rhys and Churchy alternated killing Zubat, Rattata, and Grimer when I got to the top of the building and found Mr. Imposter Director. I forgot I was going to battle the guy, but I wasn’t that worried. How strong could this lavender-haired douche be-

A full team of Koffing.

Oh nooooooooo. D8

Churchy was first up and couldn’t kill the first Koffing in one Thunder Shock. Fuck. I got Sludge for my efforts, but it wasn’t the Sludge that concerned me. I killed it and got faced with a Weezing as my next opponent. Okay, I could do this, I knew I could. A Thunder Shock did just under half and Weezing used Sludge, throwing me to the edge of red and poisoning me. I spent a turn using a Full Restore, then used Thunder Shock, putting the Weezing into red. For some reason, and even now my actions still baffle me, I used Quick Attack instead of Thunder Shock.

Weezing lived and used Explosion, and there went my Jolteon.

I sent in Poytina for no reason only for it to die to the next Koffing. My last Pokemon was Rhys the Exeggcute. I use Confusion, but the Koffing lived with 5 HP and used Sludge, which did 80% damage and poisoned me. On my next turn I was in red with 4 HP, poisoned, and with no more Full Restores. Fuck it. I used Confusion, killing the Koffing, and died to poison afterwards.

-

I could set the events that just transpired into a Doomed Timeline, but I kinda want to take my Togetic and Corsola back out of the box and continue the game normally. Even if I didn’t take such heavy losses and continued the game, I’d have just died at Clair.

So, without further ado:

GAME OVER.

Current Team
N/A.

Box
Drome the Tentacool (Level 20).
Alexx the Gloom (Level 22).
Sree the Gyarados (Level 18 ).

Rest In Peace
Klael the Zubat (Level 2).
Cheddar the Sentret (Level 11).
Ashaya the Spearow (Level 11).
MattSilver the Chikorita (Level 11).
Jack the Unown J (Level 5)
Klael2 the Zubat (Level 6).
Oz the Onix (Level 6).
Poytin the Pidgey (Level 14).
LT2000 the Beedrill (Level 12).
Tinn the Drowzee (Level 14).
Ashura the Spearow (Level 15).
Taure the Hoothoot (Level 16).
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Kens the Butterfree (Level 21). x5
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Lucky the Togetic (Level 21). x5
Banner the Koffing (Level 17).
Sesc the Raticate (Level 17).
Kens the Butterfree (Level 28 ).
Poytina the Pidgey (Level 15).
Taurina the Hoothoot (Level 17).
Rents the Corsola (Level 33).
Lucky the Togetic (Level 32).
Lungs the Krabby (Level 24).
Seratin the Goldeen (Level 20).
Churchy the Jolteon (Level 35).
Poytina2 the Pidgeotto (Level 23).
Rhys the Exeggcute (Level 29).

-

I almost filled a box full of dead Pokemon. Too bad I didn't fill it up all the way.

Maybe next time.

 

Aaaaand the Johto N2 ended with Mort. Annoyed me enough that I can't be bothered to write it up properly, but here's the short form:

Caught a Ditto, got to Ecruteak City, lost Geodude to Silver, caught a Stantler, then battled Morty.

Every pokemon in his gym died in one hit to Arbok's Crunch, until one Gengar survived with almost no health, and hit me with Hypnosis. It then killed me in one hit with a Shadow Ball crit, and wiped my entire team.

D:

Beginning again in a moment. Might start with a Hoothoot or a Slugma this time.

 

I begin the day anew with the prospects of my Dog, Eevee. Considering the types I've failed to find and of what I have, I have decided to evolve her into either a Jolteon or a Flareon. Whichever stone I acquire first, wins. Anyways, I am in Ecruteak City ding my thing. I decide to take Dazed, my Drowzee, and train her in Mt. Mortor. I also kind of hope to encounter a Machop in the area. (For the record, since I cannot access the area with Tyrogue, I am separating the two areas. I did this with Union Cave and Slowpoke Well.)

Sadly, I run into another Geodude. I kill it and begin training Dazed and Qun on the trainers and countless of Zubat. Togepi, as I expected, soon evolves into a Togetic. I get bored and head out of Mt. Mortor towards Mahogany Town. On this small Route 42, I go into the wild grass and capture a Mankey who I name Prom. I was hoping for a Mareep as I lack a strong electric type, but that's okay.

With my team, I head north towards the Lake of Rage. There is a lot of tasty trainers and a new pokemon to catch. My first wild encounter, I am hoping to catch a fucking Flaaffy. Just my luck, I run into a Girafarig. I don't really want it but I catch him anyways and name him Poytin.

During my time on this Route, Dazed evolves into a sexy Hypno. Now I have a strong Ghost killer on my team for Morty. With Dazed and Qun both having a strong psychic attack and Tsnuami and Nido having Bite. I feel confident to take on Morty.

First thing is first. I get back to the city and explore the Burned Tower. I manage to avoid any wild pokemon on the first floor as I destroy my Rival. While Felix has that annoying Bayleef that I have no answer for yet (I really need a strong bird or fire type), I do fine. I get downstairs and I watch those damn dogs that I will never catch leap away. Down here, I want to run into a Magmar.

Sadly, I find myself with a Koffing. I have so many poison types but I catch him anyways. He is named Wildfeathr.

I leave the Burned Tower and use Nido to sweep the gym's trainers. Those gastlys and haunters get destroyed by my Bite. I heal up before Morty. I feel confident. I should've known better.

I lead with Nido and she destroys Gastly in one shot. Then comes one of the Haunters. It uses Curse as I kill it with Bite. Thus, I withdraw Nido and made a fatal error. I use Tsunami to face his Gengar. I completely forgot about Mean Look. My Tsunami is trapped so I brace myself. Shadow Ball does 60 of my 72 hp on Tsunami. My fucking stupidity costs me my fucking starter. With anger, I sent out Dazed like I should've before and two-shot that Gengar. (Gengar's Shadow Ball nearly kills Dazed too). Then I use Nido again to kill the last Haunter.

When I complete my task, I realize something. My plan, since today was Friday, was to use my newly acquired Surf to get Lapras from the Union Cave (via Repels) and gather up the Moon Stone from the Ruins of Alph by using Flash on Trash (Hoppip). Without Tsunami, I have no water pokemon to teach Surf today. Oh god.

Luckily, there is a tiny pond in Ercuteak City. I fish up a level 10 Magikarp who I name LT2000. I take him to the Daycare and ride around all over the place to get to level 19. In the mean time, I train Prom, the Mankey on Route 38. I am going to need a fighting type for the Gym. Prom the Mankey had a training accident and gets one shot by a wild Raticate's Hyper Fang crit. Stupid fucking pig.

At any rate, I encounter a Rattata on Route 38 so I ignored that catch. I battled a bunch of trainers here, training up Forest. I've never had a Bellossom before but she is freaking awesome. Mega Drain OP.

On Route 39, I am hoping to find a Magnemite. Sadly, I find the 5% chance fucking Milktank. I sigh in anger. First Zac the Ditto and now Churchey the Milktank.

In time, LT2000 is ready to evolve. I gather him up from the Daycare and use a Rare Candy to turn LT2000 into a badass Gyarados. I quickly teach him Surf and make my way to Ruins of Alph. First, I make a pitstop in Violet City to get a Rare Candy via surf. I catch a Poliwag while surfing and name him Menace. After that, its time to visit the ruins!

I solve the second puzzle (Catching a Wooper named Sree on my short surf there) I get my prize, the Moon Stone and immediately use it on Nido to change her into a beastly Nidoqueen. I've always trained Nidokings but never a Nidoqueen. This will be interesting.

I make my way into Union Cave and spam Repels until I find Lapras swimming around. I set Forest as my lead and begin my quest. With sleep powder, one magical leaf and a Net Ball, I capture myself a Lapras! He is named MattSilver.

I use an Escape Rope to exit this cave and make my way back to Ecruteak City so that I may travel to Olivine City. After a long bike ride, I make my way over here. Rival pops out of the Gym and bitches. I ignore him and gather a Good Rod. I head to Route 40 and fish. Lucky me nets a Krabby! Krabby becomes ChaosGuy as I planned to trade him for Billy the Voltorb. I complete the trade and figure it is time to write down my tales.

While I was writing this entry, I get a phonecall from Dana in Route 38. She said she found something for me! I hurry over on my bike and behold she presents me with a Thunderstone. Looks like this solves my Eevee problem. Though, I am still considering holding out for the Fire Stone. I want a Flareon since I've missed nearly every single fire type.

Regardless, I set my eyes to the Lighthouse with the prospects of either training Billy the Voltorb or make Dog a Jolteon to train there.

Current Team
Nido the Level 29 Nidoqueen
Forest the Level 29 Bellessom
Dazed the Level 27 Hypno
LT2000 the level 22 Gyarados
MattSilver the Level 20 Lapras
Claws the Level 20 Sandshrew (HM Bitch)

Boxed
Bat - Level 8 Zubat
Trash - Level 6 Hoppip
Bird - Level 8 Spearow
Zac - Level 10 Ditto
Beast - Level 14 Pinsir
Bug - Level 14 Butterfree
Poytin - Level 15 Girafarig
Wildfeathr - Level 15 Koffing
Sree - Level 14 Wooper
Menace - Level 18 Poliwag
Churchey - Level 13 Milktank
Dog - Level 5 Eevee
Qun - Level 23 Togetic
Billy - Level 20 Voltorb

R.I.P
Rock - Level 15 Geodude - Kadabra'd
Rat - Level 6 Rattata - Sacrificial Lamb
Tsunami - Level 26 Croconaw - Shadow Ball so fucking broken
Prom - Level 18 Mankey - Training Accident with a Raticate

 

You boxed me? YOU BOXED ME?

Fuck you man. Miltank is a fucking beast.
1. Great stats. 490 isn't psuedolegendary, but it's pretty decent. And its attacking stats are fairly specialized with only 40 in SPA.
2. Self-regen. Milk drink is fucking awesome, especially since you can use it to heal your other pokemon outside of battle.
3. Amazing moveset. With early access to rollout and zenn-headbutt, then normal STAB and an absurd TM list, this thing is crazy.
4. At the worst, a great HM filler. Whirlpool/Surf/Strength/Rocksmash.

Whatever man. Whatever.

 

Oh trust me. I recognize Miltank's greatness but boxed for now. It may be my 6th pokemon for when its time to remove the HM slave for serious business. Definitely one of the first I'll grab if I lose someone else though. Only named him Churchey cause I was like "This motherfucker is Gragas. Damn Milk Drink"

 

Fuck this game and everything about it. I already hated Gen V for it's experience system but this is the final straw. I lost my Nuzlocke due to game engine.

Beat Roxie. Have to go to Pokestar Studios to get the captain so you have to make a movie. Make movie. "Do you want to release the movie you just made?" Yes. "Do you want to save your game?" Yes. "You can't save your game before you delete your last games progress. Delete it by pressing up+select+b on the start screen." "Do you not want to release the movie you just made?" No. "Do you want to save your game?" No. "Do you not want to release the movie you just made?"

So I physically can't leave the room for Pokestar studios because a guy won't let you leave until you release a movie. My Save State carries the fact that there was a previous game saved on it. Death due to game mechanics. Fuck this gen.

 

yea I had that issue.
The only way around it is physically deleting the file and restarting from a completely separate rom file, iirc.

 

Okay, I left off the last run by getting the Thunderstone. I thus decide to turn my Dog, Eevee, into a fearsome Jolteon. I spend a lot of time leveling him up on switch battles with the fishing rod until 15 for Thundershock. Then I tackle the lighthouse to get levels. I get to the top to see that the Amphy is sick. All I want to do is crush Jasimine but nope. Anyways, I get off and begin my surfing journey.

Dog has a blast with all the Water type trainers and the Tentacool. After sometime grinding, I make my way to the Cianwood Island. Not much to do here. I battle Euisine cause he's jelly over Suicine loving me. Beat him with ease. I buy the required medicine for Amphy and unleash Dazed on the fighting gym. I destroy everything inside and eventually make my way to Chuck. It takes me two Psybeams to kill his Primeape and as for his Poliwrath, Jolteon kills it in one shot with a crit Charge Beam.

Easy as pie.

I can now use Fly, thanks to his wife. So I get out Bird, my Spearow and fly to Goldenrod to get some TMs such as Thunder, Thunderbolt, Ice Beam, Flamethower and Flame Blast. I also get Solar Beam. I have NO idea how I manage to ride Bird but I do. I fly back to Olivine City and heal Amphy. I immediately challenge her.

Her first Magnemite gets double kicked by Nido. However, her Steelix... I forgot it was level 35. My level 23 LT2000 (Gyarados) almost dies nearly taking out Steelix. I try to use level 20 MattSilver but he also almost dies! I had to switch in Forest to finish it off least I lose LT2000 and MattSilver. With that behemoth down, I send Nido out for the second Magnemite. I get confused and Nido nearly kills herself in confusion. Stupid fucking pokemon. So I withdraw and kill the last Magnemite with Dazed.

After that fight, I realize that my team is weak. I need to do some grinding and what better way to grind than by tackling Rocket HQ in Mahogany Town? I fly over and get out MattSilver the Lapras. I quickly kill the red Gyarados and gain Lances attention.

We raid this shop where Lance hyper beams some people. I won't bore you with the details but inside I trip every single Persian statue to fight grunt after grunt and step on every little trap to fight Geodudes/Koffings/Voltorb. After a ton of work here and in the wild, I manage to grind MattSilver and LT2000 to a respectful level.

In the HQ, I run into my rival. I dunno why he is here but he shoves me and runs away. I'll get him back for this. I easily dispatch Petrel. Nido is no match for his pokemon. I chase his forgot Murkrow back to the lock and get into a double battle with Lance against Ariana and a grunt!

I almost lost Forest to all that poison and crap. I had to withdraw and send out Dog for better damage. Lance's Dragonite did most of the damage.

I emerge victorious. I feel stronger and ready to take on Pyrce. I have one goal and that is NOT to be Vira and get sweeped out here. Tomorrow, we will see if my team is ready.

Current Roster
Nido the Level 36 Nidoqueen
Dazed the Level 32 Hypno
Forest the Level 33 Bellessom
LT2000 the Level 32 Gyarados
MattSilver the Level 33 Lapras
Dog the Level 30 Jolteon

Boxed
Bat - Level 8 Zubat
Trash - Level 6 Hoppip
Bird - Level 8 Spearow (Fly Bitch)
Zac - Level 10 Ditto
Beast - Level 14 Pinsir
Bug - Level 14 Butterfree
Poytin - Level 15 Girafarig
Wildfeathr - Level 15 Koffing
Sree - Level 14 Wooper
Menace - Level 18 Poliwag
Churchey - Level 15 Miltank
Qun - Level 23 Togetic
Billy - Level 20 Voltorb
Claws - Level 20 Sandshrew (HM Bitch)

R.I.P
Rock - Level 15 Geodude - Kadabra'd
Rat - Level 6 Rattata - Sacrificial Lamb
Tsunami - Level 26 Croconaw - Shadow Ball so fucking broken
Prom - Level 18 Mankey - Training Accident with a Raticate

 

Go through the haunted tower, levelling Duvet, but the fog is annoying, so we leave, and attack the grass instead.

Duvet hits 29, next pokemon is Jacket the ralts, at level 18.

Through Solaceon, ignoring the creepy perverts at the daycare, and the ruins, grabbing a bunch of loot along the way. Smooshing the trainers and wildlings, Towel hits 30, and evolves. She's an ugly thing, but I had no idea just how fantastic at killing everything she was. Gastrodon is a boss.

Duvet dragonrages her way through Maylene's mooks, and hits 31. She's first out against Meditite, sets up a sandstorm, and then kills that too. Out comes Towel the gastrodon, who OHKO mud bombs Lucario, and two shots Machoke.

Out of the gym, heal up, destroy the four pokemon belonging to team Evuls, and grab fly. Head South, and continue to destroy everything in my path.

Jacket hits 27 in the hotel battle cafe, and then gets dropped to the back of the party. There's nothing round here I really want, and I'm not catching just for the hell of it. Ten levels is starting to get annoying unless they're on the team. He's still a ralts, as I'm not sure I actually want him on the team - Kirlia is rubbish, and if I evolve to either Gallade or Gardevoir, that'll be a be a planned six out eight evolutions(Gible>Gabite>Garchomp; Ponyta>Rapidash; Shellos>Gastrodon; Ralts>Kirlia>Gallade), leaving me no wiggle room if anything dies later, unless I get non-evolving mons later. Or catch them postevolution.

We reach Pastoria, and drop Jacket into the computer. He's of no use where we're going...

The gym!

First, we have whatshisface, the shouty little kid.
His staravia attempts to dodge Towel, but she just sits on top of it, and drowns it. Rival drops in his Grotle to try and save his bird from a bath, and Coffee promptly sets it on fire, forgetting rule one - pillage, then burn.
His Buizel puts on a brave face, but Towel smothers him too. She's fast becoming my favourite, and is likely going to have to solo Crasher's gym. She can't learn anything supereffective, but bodyslam should probably get her through the gym. It's just a shame that waterdrain doesn't make her immune to water moves in genIV.
His Ponyta is no match for mine, and he runs off, shouting something about a song and dance routine. Seeing as how training obviously isn't for him, it's a good career move.

As Towel'll be doing this solo, I head West, and she smothers everyone out there, all the way to the mansion. The constant rain means she can destroy nearly anything with the water pulse, or bodyslam if that fails.

Into the gym, and Towel very slowly oozes her way to victory through everything. Her shell bell is useful, because nearly everything here is quicker than her. She has no problems squishing everything in her path, taking no more than 23 damage from any attack.

Towel has been awful at fighting the other Gyarados up to the mansion, so I drop toxic onto her, replacing RainDance. Much as it was useful, toxic is going to be a bigger help from now on.

Toxic hits first turn, and Gyarados continues just using waterfall. It does just over 1/3 of Towel's health, so I spend most of this battle continuously dropping super potions. Crasher uses his hyper potion now, but it doesn't matter. Two turns later, Gyarados dies to toxic. The first time I've ever used it, and it was remarkably helpful.

Floatzel comes out with a crunch, crit-dropping Towel to low orange. Towel toxics this one too, and I super potion next turn. Floatzel uses brine, and it does nearly nothing. Another crunch, answered by mud bomb, and followed by the poison damage is enough to wipe it this tur-
A second hyper potion.
Well toxic is doing stupid amounts of damage, which means that's two down, and he only has Quagsire left. A third toxic (why fix what isn't broke?), and this one is in the bag. Quagsire answers with yawn, but that isn't really a problem in the slightest. A crit-water pulse that confuses, followed by Quagsire smacking itself in the face, and then poison damage kills the fifth leader's third pokemon, and boots Towel up another level.

Fifth badge, FEN BADGE earned.

Team:
Towel, Gastrodon, 41.
Coffee, Ponyta, 33.
Duvet, Gabite, 34.

Boxed:
Jacket, Ralts, 27. Nest capture at 28.

2/5 Evolutions used.

 

Yeah, I would not use the Ralts and try for a wild Kirlia to save one evolution step if you really want to use that branch. They're not that hard to find. Just don't be a tard and let yours get blown up like I did. >_>

 

I'm actually really liking this N^2 thing. It could just be not having played too far in the game before, but it's definitely worth a go.

As I forgot to mention it, my naming scheme:
Something I can correctly identify if I take my glasses off.

 

So, I find myself starting my first ever Nuzlocke. Just to make it interesting, I’ll be using Blaze Black 2, a modded version of Black 2. This mod makes a number of changes: it dramatically increases the level slope throughout the course of the game; it makes every single one of the 649 Pokémon available within the confines of the game, without any need for trades/ version exclusives (many useable items are added in order to activate the evolutions); concurrently, many items have had their locations switched; trainer rosters are given a total overhaul; and much more.

So, yeah, it’s not the easiest one for a first run. Therefore, I’ll be keeping the game in Normal difficulty – my no-limits Challenge mode file has thrown up a number of flags, and, barring 100+ hours-worth of training, it’s not going to happen in a Nuzlocke. Level 80+ prior to the elite four? Not again.

I’ll be using the standard Nuzlocke rules, and Dresden Files-centric nicknames.

---
Our slightly-loopy hero, Dresden, starts his adventure in Aspertia City, meeting up with his recurring rival, Ramirez. It’s only a few minutes before we receive our starter from that irritating bint from Black/White, Bianca.

New Pokémon obtained! Oshawott, lvl 5, Aspertia City.

​

With Dewott and Samurott being converted to a Water/Fighting type, I couldn’t resist. Although Serperior becomes Grass/Dragon, its attack and special attack remain far too low to push us forwards.

I nickname the little otter ‘Michael’, since it learns Sacred Sword eventually. Michael hands Ramirez his arse on a silver platter.

With that, it’s on to Route 19, and my first wild capture.

New Pokémon obtained! Sentret, lvl 3, Route 19.

​

I nickname the useless little ferret ‘Peabody’, and proceed to train Michael as hard as I can. A buffer against trainers is very much required. With Peabody up to level 7 and Michael powering ahead at level 10, it’s onto Floccesy Town.

After skipping through the hoops with Alder’s little tour etc., we now find ourselves on Route 20. The first trainer battles of the game, plus some major capturing opportunities, with Ralts (5%) and Bagon (2%) available.

Lo and behold, I get a massive slice of luck and the first wild Pokémon I encounter is a Bagon! It takes most of my stash of Poké Balls and makes a fair effort at trying to kill Peabody, but eventually, it is caught.

New Pokémon obtained! Bagon, lvl 4, Route 20.

​

I nickname the baby dragon 'Ferrovax', and begin to carefully train up my future titan. It’s slow going, with my paranoia running at an all-time high, but a few Rages to the face are sufficient to fell most of the feral monsters around Route 20. Once Ferrovax learns Bite, things become a little easier.

After a brief scare where a level 7 Seedot almost managed to Bullet Seed Michael to death, our intrepid hero now moves on to the Floccesy Ranch, where another stroke of luck could bring a Houndour, Riolu or Mareep my way. One of those would be absolutely perf-

Tyrogue. Not bad, all things considered. Peabody takes just over half its health with a scratch (annoying, that). I try a few Poké Balls at that point, but it breaks out of each of them without so much as a flinch. I switch to Ferrovax and throw a Rage at it, which should take it nice and close to the red-

Crithax. Bollocks.

I suppose I can content myself with the fact that I will have a fighting-type through Michael regardless, but it’s still irritating.

I'll save there and take a break for now.

Current Team:

Michael the Oshawott, lvl 12
Peabody the Sentret, lvl 10
Ferrovax the Bagon, lvl 9

Memorial Wall:

Nil.

Badges: 0

Location: Floccesy Ranch.