Right, Gary. This time, I come prepared and let Amanitis take care of his first two Pokémon using liberal amounts of healing and Defence Curl, plus Poison. It’s not like I lack money or anything, and he needs the XP. Kadabra does a fuckton of damage and would’ve 3hko’d Shift had I not killed it first. Charmeleon is a chump whose Ember does too much damage for my liking – I’ll need someone to be able to resist him and Kadabra before they hit Psychic/Flamethrower levels or I’m going to be in trouble. Cut goes onto Fire Ants and off goes the SS Anne.

I catch Champagne the Diglett in the eponymous cave and as the only new Pokémon on Route 11 is Drowzee, I catch one of those as well, just in case Jevel ever bites the dust. Crescent joins the growing collective in Box 1. I train Amanitis to level 22, stop his evolution, give him a rare candy to get Slash a level earlier and... Overwrite the Dig TM I’d given him instead of Scratch. Oops. Also means he can’t get any stab until I get Earthquake. Just peachy, but it’s my own mistake.

The Gym ‘puzzle’ is harder than all the trainers combined, and Surge is a pansy. Jevel oneshots the easy mons and then Surge tries to Thunder Wave my newly switched-in ground-type. Not a single fuck was given and I’ll take that badge now, tyvm. I get the breadcrumb to Flash, but I’m not wasting my time on that HM. I did it without Flash in Gen I as a 9yo, why should I start using it now?

Route 9 has no new Pokémon and the levels of said Pokémon are way too low for my party in the low 20s. Route 10 gets me Rolling the Voltorb, which joins the party of ‘probably benched for all eternity’. Heal up, get into that Tunnel, catch Dolorosa the Machop, no issues or anything. The trainers here are close to my level, which actually makes for some interesting battles as that means the trained Geodudes can possibly use Selfdestruct, and they most certainly know Magnitude. An unexpected level 9 Magnitude drops Bynn to 1hp at some point, but that’s the most threatening it gets in here. Lavender Town here I come. First up: kicking the snot out of Gary for the second time in not even two hours of playtime, which happens almost without incident, apart from Gyarados’s Thrash hitting like a truck.

First Pokémon up on Route 8 is a Meowth. Misery goes into the box and joins the ‘Pokémon-who-won’t-see-daylight-ever-again’-ensemble. Route 7’s Pokémon is lost to me as a Vulpix Roars Journeyman away. Not that I needed one, as I’ve got all their offensive utility covered anyway. Case in point, Erika’s Grass-type gym falls to Shift with just one Super Potion used. It’s really the main failing of all Grass-type Gyms - Flying Pokémon are just so ubiquitous, which gives you an easy type advantage unless they’re packing Rock-type moves or powerful neutral-type moves. The Rocket Hideout doesn’t provide me with any problems either, and Bynn evolves into Primeape on the last battle prior to Giovanni.

Apparently, you can flat out buy Dig and Brick Break in this generation, which is much appreciated. Never knew that until now. Bynn gets Brick Break while Amanitis gets both. I open up Saffron City and then go into the Pokémon Tower. I catch Rick the Gastly and throw up the Repels because my team is really, really not made to fight Ghost types. Bynn and Fire Ants flat out can’t hurt them Amanitis is limited to Poison Sting, which may as well be the same. Jevel gets three levels off flattening all the Gastly and occasional Haunter that the local trainers have, so at least I’m in good shape for the next Gym.

Of course, Fire Ants hits level 30 against the Rockets, giving me Pursuit on him. Timing really is everything. Fuji is saved and we get the Poké Flute, at which point I save and start thinking about my route down to Fuchsia.

Team

Jevel the Kadabra – level 31
Shift the Fearow – level 31
Fire Ants the Raticate – level 30
Bynn the Primeape – level 29
Amanitis the Sandslash – level 28
Journeyman the Weepinbell – level 28

Boxed
Transition the Weedle – level 7
Lucienne the Pidgey – level 16
Champagne the Diglett – level 18
Crescent the Drowzee – level 13
Rolling the Voltorb – level 14
Dolorosa the Machop – level 16
Rick the Gastly – level 15

Bereft of life
Wharf the Geodude – level 9 – Cannon fodder in its purest form.
Windbags the Butterfree – level 18 – Youngster Joey happened.

Some Forgotten Pocket Dimension
Ignored the Bulbasaur - level 6
Unworthy the Eevee – level 25

 

So, obviously I got bored and quit my X run right? No, but Bravely Default damn sure delayed picking it back up. Pity that a game that started out so amazing became such a chore to complete by the end. Anywho, to recap since it's been some weeks now...

Team


Cleopatra (Pyroar) - 38
Genma (Pangoro) - 38
Anak (Roserade) - 38
Leviathan (Gyarados) - 38
Yuri (Staraptor) - 40
Pit Crew (Dugtrio) - 26

I pick back up with training the new Dugtrio. First at Route 11, as usual switching in Roserage whenever Sawk appears. And then back to Battle Chateau, where I now have a large enough level cushion that nothing can threaten me. I still haven't unlocked the next noble rank when I get done catching up Pit Crew, but I will be back often enough. There is money to be collected for my dapper clothes in Lumiose City soon, and dem cute little Furisode Girls with the Audino are begging to be exploited again and again.

Anyway, into the Kalos Power Plant via Route 13. Leviathan annihilates the outside guard and his Houndoom. Inside, my Pyroar almost meets with disaster right off the bat. Some Flare Grunt sends out a Scraggy. Figure this is still easy pickings with Flamethrower and it should have been. Except I didn't pause to consider their opposing genders and how that would work with Cleopatra's Rivalry ability. So, Flamethrower doesn't kill the little shit and Hi Jump Kick damn near does kill my Pyroar. Second Flamethrower roasts it and I will certainly remember to keep gender in mind when using Cleopatra from here on out.

Another thing I learned in here is that Toxic can hit even while a Pokemon is underground, as my Dugtrio got to experience while dealing with a Swalot. Huh.

This place ends with a battle against a bald Flare Admin and then some Scientist. Both have Dark types, and that means both get overkill raped by Yuri's Close Combat. That's right. Keep on punching yourself in the head, you hairless retard.

Now back to Lumiose City. Holy shit, that's one giant fucking man. I found Bigfoot.

First thing to do in Lumiose City is roll the gym. This is all Pit Crew. I'm so smart that I intentionally screw up all the questions to gain more experience. Except one that I accidentally get right before I'm done and have to reset. Thankfully I'd saved right before because I wasn't 100% sure what a Pansage's crest looked like in just a silhouette.

You would think that a 10 level advantage (45 to 35, gotta love that Lucky Egg) would let me OHKO a damned Emolga with Rock Tomb. Yet no, and Clemont's criticals with Aerial Ace. Second Rock Tomb downs it.

Helioptile is next and gets in a Quick Attack before I can get underground and then crush it with Dig.

I'm now at less than ideal health because Dugtrio's defense is shit and its bulk nonexistent. So, Soda Pop while Magneton sets up Electric Terrain. Ought to have just gone straight into attacking and I would have won this without getting hit again. But I don't, Bullzone sends Magneton to one HP (fucking Sturdy...) and I get hit with Mirror Shot. From there it's just a matter of making Clemont exhaust his stock of healing items.

Voltage Badge and Thunderbolt TM acquired. Shame I have shit all to use it on.

Now I have to get stylish enough to get into the boutique because Dat Fedora. But the only one for sale today is the ugly grey one. I want my red hat, so I'll be back tomorrow. Honestly, the selection today is horrible period and I end up leaving with nothing but a pair of brown loafers. In the meantime, I got to work at a hotel and do a lot of other menial shit.

Into Route 14. Didn't remember that there was a Serena battle here and didn't switch my Lucky Egg around as I would have wanted. Genma the Pangoro sweeps her team, but soaks up too much damage in the process. I really want to get this thing out of my team. It's too slow and too fragile. Hits like a truck, I'll give it. But that's not good enough. And the best replacement I can think of is one that I'll have several chances to get here.

So, you all know how this story is going to end, right?

Of course, I want a Skorupi. Route 14 does not play ball and gives me Baxter the Weepinbell. Yay, another Grass/Poison.

I want to try again right away at Route 16, but some douchebags are blocking the road from Lumiose City and some bigger douchebags are blocking it from Laverre City.

All that remains to do is continue the game. Into Laverre Gym. Cleopatra runs the majority of the gym, aside from one run-in with an Azumarill that necessitates a switch.

Getting to Valerie was the easy part. Fighting her? Yeah, no. Not even sure if I can 100% piece this back together from memory, but I'll do my best.

Leviathan leads against Mawile. Mawile's Hyper Cutter wipes out Intimidate. Aqua Tail doesn't quite finish the job, Crunch does menial damage but does lower defense. Bulldoze finishes that.

Mr. Mime is an annoying shit and sets up Reflect on me, and also gets in a Psychic before falling to Aqua Tail.

And now it gets hard. In comes Sylveon. Without that Reflect, this would have been over in one hit. But since it is there, Aqua Tail can't get it done. Charm ruins Leviathan's Attack stat and forces a switch to Cleopatra after I get the worst of the next round and Dazzling Gleam hits Leviathan pretty hard.

Like the last time, Sylveon is male. This time I'm aware of it, but there's no helping it. I try to wear Sylveon down with Flamethrower, but that's not working well due to Sylveon's ridiculous SDef and Rivalry dampening. But the Fire typing is taking the edge off of Dazzling Gleam and forcing Valerie to rely on Swift. I get close to a KO, but not close enough and I switch to Yuri as Valerie uses a Hyper Potion and ruins all that work.

Fly hits Sylveon terribly and I might have had this in the bag here, except Cute Charm activates. Dazzling Gleam rips Yuri and if I get paralyzed by love and have to eat another one that's a dead Staraptor. So, I switch in Anak and at last put Sylveon down with Venoshock.

Amazed I got through that with no deaths. I later realize that one more level would have given Leviathan access to Dragon Dance and made this a cakewalk. That's what I get for being lazy.

Through the Poke Ball Factory. No challenge here in ruining Team Flare again.

And with that done, two more attempts at getting that Skorupi on Routes 15 and 16.

Ha ha.

Route 15 gives Toad the Foongus. Another Grass/Poison. Route 16 gives two more Foongus encounters in a row, but I can ignore those due to No Repeats. Unfortunately, number three is Kairi the Klefki. So that's three shots at a common encounter Skorupi and no Skorupi to show for it. The game is trolling.

Pretty salty about this run right now. I'm intact, but the lack of coverage on my bench is downright appalling. Far too many Normals and Grass/Poisons.

Whatever, I'll be back later.

Merge is a personal challenge.

And here's where I am before sleep.

After the failed attempts at a Skorupi, through Route 15 towards Dendemille Town. Quick stopover in the Lost Hotel (or is it a Motel, I dun remember). I'm tempted to go garbage diving in hopes that I might get a Rotom, but the other options here are pretty tempting to bolster my bench, and odds are the trash would give me a Trubbish/Garbodor and I have quite enough reserve Poison types.

So instead I get Ra Kalium the Magneton. Briefly consider using this, but I'd probably swap out Roserade to do that and I prefer what I have already. Was really hoping to get a Pawniard at this point in time so I could bench Genma, though later events are to render that a no-go anyway.

So, Dendemille Town. Since I have nothing to replace Genma the Pangoro, I decide to make him a little bit better by using a Heart Scale at the Move Relearner to teach him Hammer Arm. Heal up, and towards Frost Cavern.

Disaster.

I decide to do the Sky Trainer battles here, and the second one is against a Cryagonal. I assume Staraptor can outspeed it, assume wrong, and Ice Beam oneshots Yuri. Leviathan comes out to revenge kill it, but the damage is done.

So mad right now, I liked that Staraptor a lot. As I mention above, I almost abort the run here because I think I'm out of things that can use Fly, but after saving and stewing a bit I remember Wilbur the Shiny Wingull. So, he's now a Shiny Fly Slave.

Needing to fill Yuri's spot and with limited depth, I decide to pull out Sweettooth the Mr. Mime. TM Dazzling Gleam and Thunderbolt on to give him a little oomph and then train him up. Doesn't take long thanks to the ever-useful Lucky Egg. On a related note, Pangoro will now be staying around unless I somehow get another Fighting type (which I don't think I even can so please don't die Genma) due to my no longer having access to Yuri's Close Combat.

Into Frost Cavern. Now, I normally don't do the whole 'naming my Pokemon after DLP members' thing, but this one just fell right into place. Piloswine, female, you're welcome Vira. Obvious switch is obvious. Thanks for your hard work in Lumiose Gym, Pit Crew, but to the bullpen with thee. Back to Dendemille to relearn that Ancient Power and into Route 13 to gain one level that takes way too long because the game won't give my any wild Dugtrio and it's Mamotime.

Now, sleep.

Team

Cleopatra (Pyroar) - 46
Genma (Pangoro) - 46
Anak (Roserade) - 46
Leviathan (Gyarados) - 46
Sweetooth (Mr. Mime) - 44
Vira (Mamoswine) - 39

Box

Goober (Weedle)
Bridget (Skitty)
Alraune (Gloom)
Pascal (Whismur)
Feinne (Onix)
Precious (Snubbull)
Bandiger (Luvdisc)
Big Tex (Tauros)
Pineapple (Inkay)
Baxter (Weepinbell)
Toad (Foongus)
Kairi (Klefki)
Wilbur (Shiny Wingull)
Ra Kalium (Magneton)
Pit Crew (Dugtrio)

Dead

Norton the Hippopotas - Fuck the rich
Androssi the Pidgeotto - Lived up to your namesake and saved me from a whiteout
Yuri the Staraptor - Sky Trainers can eat a bag of dicks

Aborted

Tiger (Chespin)
Leonardo (Squirtle)
Queen Brahne (Snorlax)
Chrom (Lucario)
Seabiscuit (Lapras)

 

If I could double thumbs-up your post, I would. D:

 

Can someone talk me through the steps of downloading and setting up an emulator for android? I've changed my phone, and forgot.

---------- Post automerged at 04:24 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:05 AM ----------

Nvm, got it

---------- Post automerged at 04:48 AM ---------- Previous post was at 04:24 AM ----------

-Begin new Nuzlocke run.

-Charmander like a champ.
-Pidgey on route 1
-Caterpie on route 2
-FUCKING PIKACHU FIRST ENCOUNTER IN THE VIRIDIAN FOREST.

-Glad I named my characted Red.
#lamoraplz

 

I wasn't aware this was possible. How do I do it?

 

Download Gameboid, then gba bios, then go to freeroms.com to find the games you want.


On other news, rival nearly fucking wiped me when his pidgeotto almost ohko'd my pikachu with a quick attack. Was lucky and had no losses.
Sadly, a training accident (read: crit) led to the death of my poor Ekans, caught on Route 4.
No Zubat for me, as I killed my first encounter with great relish.

#fuckzubat

 

Are you playing red/blue/green or firered/greenleaf ?

 

Firered.

Misty almost fucked me over. I cannot believe my own luck. Both my amazing Pidgeotto and Pikachu were left with like 5 HP before I switched them out.

#waterpulseisbroken

---------- Post automerged at 06:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:09 AM ----------

Hiccup the Magikarp obtained in Vermillion.
#willnotleaveuntilgyarados

---------- Post automerged 03-15-2014 at 04:30 AM ---------- Previous post was 03-14-2014 at 06:17 PM ----------

First encounter inside Rock Tunnel? A fucking Onix, I shit you not.

Hiccup the Gyarados is kicking ass left right and center, and bitches dont know about my SleepPowder/DreamEater Butterfree.

No losses on Surge, thankfully.

 

Neither the Pokémon on Route 12 nor those on route 16 really catch my interest. I opt to take out the Snorlax on Route 12 first so I can get the Super Rod.

Snorlax is a bloody bastard to catch and he hits like a fucking truck. It takes me 7 Super Potions and 4 Great Balls to finally catch the bastard, but Pantheon the Snorlax joins the club. I’m somewhat tempted to switch out Fire Ants for him, but the Raticate has served me well in the past, so she gets to stay on. Super Rod get and I take down the other Snorlax with a single Low Kick. I dodge as many trainers as I can and arrive in Fuchsia City. The random Machamp on a Route 17 trainer battle is not a nice surprise, though.

Safari Zone time. I get one catch here, so I’d best make it count. I wouldn’t mind one of the Nidos at 35 % odds in the grass, but any of the other options just aren’t that great. I need something that can surf anyway and there’s a chance of me catching something like a Dratini, so Super Rod it is. Regret the Goldeen is caught. At least it gets me Surf, eventually.

I’m hilariously underleveled for Koga at the moment, so I end up fighting the trainers on all the routes I skipped over. The Dodrio trainer on Route 18 nearly puts down both Amanitis (via Tri Attack and Pursuit) and Shift (via a single Tri Attack), which further emphasises the point that I need training. Hard. Victoria the Doduo is caught at some point, as is Sorrow the Venonat. A Pidgeotto on Route 14 Whirlwinds me away. Face the Ditto is also caught and that’s about it for the new Pokémon. The end result is that I’ve now got a team mostly level 36, which is on the low side for Koga, but I’ve the Gym trainers to get through first.

Fuckin’ Jugglers and their Drowzees destroy my idea of just sweeping the shit out of the Gym with Jevel, but the non-Psychic Pokémon fall instantly to his newly learned Psychic. I’m perhaps a slight bit underleveled, but Jevel should be able to outspeed everything and he can take one hit off anything that isn’t 100+ power, hopefully.

Koffing #1 falls, but Muk survives Psychic with a sliver of HP and uses Minimize. Cue missing, naturally. I end up having to switch around and heal a lot to dodge Muk’s Sludges and their Poisoning As ever, the odds don’t matter shit for the AI and I get poisoned 5 times out of 7 Sludges. Order is restored when Journeyman gets off a Sleep Powder on Koffing #2, which allows Jevel to switch in and nuke the rest of Koga’s team with two Psychics. I love type advantage matchups.

I make my way over to Route 6 with Regret in the party and start surfing on the pond there. I eventually find Montsegur the Slowpoke and he gets added to the party. Journeyman gets shoved out – there’s just not enough room for two Iron Maiden nicknames in this party. Some farming on Digletts and Rare Candy-usage later and he’s level 29, at which point I enter the Silph Co. Building.

It’s annoying that a lot of the Pokémon here carry Bite, but it’s nothing that judicious use of Super Potions doesn’t fix. Montsegur sweeps most of the building and evolves into Slowbro a few fights before I hit up Gary.

Pidgeot is annoying, mostly because I lead with Shift, who has the staggeringly powerful moveset of Peck, Fury Attack and Pursuit, plus Mirror Move. Kind of forgot to pick Fly up. Mirror Moving the Wing Attacks back and using a few Super Potions does the trick though. He sends out Gyarados, I send out Fire Ants, who proceeds to bite the shit out of it, including flinchhax. I was expecting Exeggcute to be next, but he sends out his Charizard. I switch to Montsegur, who eats a Flamethrower with ease and Surfs him down. Exeggcute is easily disposed of with Shift and Alakazam even whiffs the Future Sight on Montsegur. I was expecting more of a challenge here, but I’m not complaining. Nessie is left in my dubious care and Giovanni falls to a team effort of Montsegur and Bynn. Next up, Sabrina.

Kill me now.

Team

Jevel the Kadabra – level 39
Shift the Fearow – level 38
Fire Ants the Raticate – level 38
Bynn the Primeape – level 38
Amanitis the Sandslash – level 38
Montsegur the Slowbro – level 38

Boxed
Transition the Weedle – level 7
Lucienne the Pidgey – level 16
Champagne the Diglett – level 18
Crescent the Drowzee – level 13
Rolling the Voltorb – level 14
Dolorosa the Machop – level 16
Rick the Gastly – level 15
Journeyman the Weepinbell – level 31
Regret the Goldeen – level 20
Pantheon the Snorlax – level 30
Face the Ditto – level 25
Victoria the Doduo – level 24
Sorrow the Venonat – level 24

Bereft of life
Wharf the Geodude – level 9 – Cannon fodder in its purest form.
Windbags the Butterfree – level 18 – Youngster Joey happened.

Some Forgotten Pocket Dimension
Ignored the Bulbasaur - level 6
Unworthy the Eevee – level 25
Nessie the Lapras – level 25

 

So where the fuck was I again? Oh right, Go Mamo Go.

Training Vira didn't take all that long thanks to Battle Chateau, and then it's back to work in Frost Cavern. Toughest sledding of the game thus far in here, and I barely avoided getting something killed on two occasions. But neither of those were that Doublade that did so much damage to someone else's run. First was Anak getting hit hard by Psyshock in that double battle with the Grumpig and...something. Maybe a Hariyama? I don't recall. Second was a Battle Girl with a Mienshao that criticaled Sweetooth with Rock Slide.

But I got through, and the battle with the Team Flare Scientist was a breeze. Abomasite acquired, might use for the sake of Mega Evolution if I luck into a Snover next route.

But that doesn't happen anyway, as Route 17 yield Delibird. Killed, because lick my motherfucking balls Delibird. Into Anistar City.

By the way, I am now looking dapper as all fuck and decked out like a sir in my red fedora. Pimp hat, as it were. Serena calls up wanting my dick in a box and also another beating that Genma happily gives her. I did let Vira wreck her Jolteon for laughs too.

Anistar Gym is pure Genma fodder. Big trench coat bear turds dropped on everyone except that one person with a Gardevoir, and Leviathan wrecked that.

Sweetooth the Mr. Mime takes point against Olympia's Sigilyph and wrecks it with Thunderbolt, and then Genma comes in to clean up on Slowking and Meowstic. Three Pokemon-amie crits, though none were actually even needed. As much as I wanted to dump Pangoro earlier, he's growing on me. I think I'm glad I kept him.

So now that that's done and I have a badge and a Calm Mind TM (taught to Mr. Mime upon delivery), Lysandre has a nefarious proclamation to make. Super villainy time, he's going to annihilate the human race with the ultimate weapon! Le gasp!

So, to Lumiose City to stomp him. But first, to Battle Chateau to increase my noble rank because priorities. Once Duke Sera is a thing, into Lysandre Lab.

Lysandre might have a pretty epic beard, but I have a pimp hat. And also a Gyarados, which destroys him after a Dragon Dance setup against his weak lead Mienfoo.

Romp and stomp through this place, fun and memorable times for all except anyone associated with Team Flare. A little spot of danger against one of the Scientists whose Manectric was running Flamethrower and hit Vira pretty hard with it. But that Mamobulk was too thick to penetrate, and Earthquake wrecked that shit.

Once I get into the deeper parts of the labyrinth, I meet my bro AZ who has a sad story to tell. What the fuck were you even using a Floette for anyway, big man? Real men run Krookodile. I wish I had one.

Team Flare Xerosic is a lying fuck, which probably has something to do with him being a fat fuck, and Leviathan eats his Crobat. But the ultimate weapon (le gasp) is born and so I have to stop it. But before that, back to Battle Chateau again. Because those authentic Linoone fur panties need removing.

Serena wants to follow me and watch how a real champion to be does business. Bird's eye view of my epic red fedora going down the elevator. Lysandre battle ends in the same way as the previous one, Gyarados stomp stomp chomp chomp. Well, his own Gyarados did make me heal once in battle due to critical hitting with Outrage.

Many double battles with Serena follow, with her proving a moderately useful meatshield and taking all the attacks while mine own Pokemon deal all the damage. Shauna shows up too. So, I am dressed up like a pimp (seriously, red fedora and black vinyl pants and loafers, don't hate) and have two moderately attractive wenches in tow. Turn my James Brown music on.

Genma beats the crap out of all the Flare Admins guarding Xerneas, who I then battle and catch.

Add Xerneas to my team from the Box?

Yeah, sure. Why not? Might be bending my rules a bit here, but this is storyline and I would have had no issues whatsoever with Lysandre here anyway. For one battle only, Xerneas replaces Anak and leads the action against Lysandre, who is decked out in the most ridiculous-looking contraption I've ever seen this side of Magical Weapon Nash (and shame on any of you who don't get that reference).

Xerneas crushes Mienshao and Honchkrow with Moonblast. Gyarados switches in to deal with Pyroar (Dat Mane), burying the lion with Aqua Tail after receiving an ineffective Fire Blast on the switch. Last up is Mega Gyarados. Switch back in to Xerneas, whose Fairy typing nullifies Outrage. Moonblast on the second turn drops Mega Gyarados to critical. Iron Head sends Xerneas into yellow, and a second Moonblast ends the battle.

Give me eternal life, Lysandre? Mother fucker, I am the immortal one. Do you even see these twenty three and a third inch pythons, brother? Do you even fucking lift? Eat a dick and get buried under rubble, shithead.

My bro AZ is back. It's good that someone let him out of that electronic jail Lysandre had him in. You should just come with me and be my tag team partner, AZ. You are my most favorite gigantic hobo-looking woobie ever, at least in Pokemons.

Xerneas returns to a well deserved rest in the box, Anak back in the team. And next time, the journey continues.

Team

Cleopatra (Pyroar) - 56
Genma (Pangoro) - 56
Anak (Roserade) - 56
Leviathan (Gyarados) - 58
Sweetooth (Mr. Mime) - 56
Vira (Mamoswine) - 56

Box

Goober (Weedle)
Bridget (Skitty)
Alraune (Gloom)
Pascal (Whismur)
Feinne (Onix)
Precious (Snubbull)
Bandiger (Luvdisc)
Big Tex (Tauros)
Pineapple (Inkay)
Baxter (Weepinbell)
Toad (Foongus)
Kairi (Klefki)
Wilbur (Shiny Wingull)
Ra Kalium (Magneton)
Pit Crew (Dugtrio)

Dead

Norton the Hippopotas - Fuck the rich
Androssi the Pidgeotto - Lived up to your namesake and saved me from a whiteout
Yuri the Staraptor - Sky Trainers can eat a bag of dicks

Aborted

Tiger (Chespin)
Leonardo (Squirtle)
Queen Brahne (Snorlax)
Chrom (Lucario)
Seabiscuit (Lapras)
Xerneas

 

Last time, I forgot that the Fighting Dojo is a thing, so I go in there. I also teach Shift Secret Power because Fury Attack was bad two gyms ago and Fire Ants gets Return. Here’s to hoping neither dies. Bruce the Hitmonlee get – he joins the rest of the abandoned-Pokémon-party.

The trainers are easy, but Sabrina should be a whole different story. The Alakazam can probably 2hko everyone on my team apart from Montsegur and possibly Jevel, and the rest is no slouch either.

Which is why I’m beyond surprised when Fire Ants sweeps the gym with four Returns. She took massive damage from Alakazam’s Psychic, but 80 % is not 100 %, and apparently, 100 power moves + stab + decent attack = dead Gym. Honestly, I had more trouble with Koga.

I swing by the Power Plant to pick up Caleb the Magneton and a few items. Bynn also eats a random Electrode’s Self Destruct, but survives comfortably. Zapdos is ignored because I do not want to replace half my team at this point.

Percy the Tentacool joins the box-party on Route 19 and my fishing attempt on Route 20 goes awry when I find out that level 18 Krabby apparently don’t have 40 HP. Not exactly the worst loss ever, but it’s annoying. Seafoam Island is a cave, and as such, it’s infested with Zubats. This one has enough HP to survive Bynn’s Seismic Toss, and Zulf the Zubat is caught. As with the Power Plant, I pick up several items and leave the local legendary bird be.

Cinnabar sees me resurrect Lord Helix the Omanyte and I also fish up Pygmalion the Staryu. Blaine is terminally stupid, which means I have to go into the Pokémon Mansion. Lovely. At least Leafgreen means that I’ll have to deal with Grimers and their family more – they don’t explode. The game does its best to not give me a new Pokémon as I have to slay several rats to get to Draw the Vulpix.

I get the secret key, along with the TM for Blizzard. That might be needed at a later point, depending on how my money supply is. The Gym is pathetically easy until Blaine, even with keeping Montsegur back. Blaine’s Arcanine knows Bite, though, and with crithax he drops Montsegur from 135 to 4 in one go. Hyper Potions ftw – he does the same because my Surf did about the same thing – and the second round sees me 1hko him as he Bites without crit or flinch. Ponyta and Rapidash fall to a Surf each, though I do take the time to toss another heal Montsegur’s way as a ‘just in case’ measure. Fire Blast get.

And for the second thing in one update I kind of forgot about – the sidequest. I catch Mancer the Tangela and One Day the Ponyta, and then it’s off to Mt. Ember to farm in the grass waiting for a Rapidash or a Magmar to appear, as they’re the only Pokémon I don’t yet have. The no-duplicate clause is probably making this too easy for me... Bynn nearly dies off a Self-Destructing Geodude, in what is starting to be a bit of a trend.

It ends up being a Magmar, but Montsegur crit-Headbutts it to death, so no Magmar for me. Since I have no interest in Moltres, I leave to go do the rest of the sidequesting. Alhazred the Persian and Equinox the Pidgeotto are caught en-route, and the damsel in distress is saved. Same old, same old.

And that is where shit takes a turn for the worse. A random gym-Machoke crit-Revenges Bynn, and that, as they say, is that. Bynn wasn’t full HP, but not far off it either. Probably could’ve stopped it if I’d had others out. Bynn the Brick Breaker got broken and I leave the Gym in dismay, trying to figure out a good replacement. I end up throwing Caleb in, even if there’s no Magnezone yet, nor any really good Steel-type moves for it. I need a second decent Pokémon for Lorelei, and something Electric fits the bill. I stop the Gym challenge to go abuse the VS Seeker to level Caleb up to an acceptable level.

Once that’s done, I sweep the rest of the Gym (all two remaining trainers) with extreme prejudice and engage Giovanni. Earthquake makes its appearance in-game, but they all fall to Montsegur. For the love of Mew, Giovanni, evolve your fucking Rhyhorns.

Gary’s up next. This’ll be interesting.

Team

Montsegur the Slowbro – level 48
Jevel the Kadabra – level 47
Shift the Fearow – level 46
Fire Ants the Raticate – level 46
Amanitis the Sandslash – level 46
Caleb the Magneton – level 44

Boxed
Transition the Weedle – level 7
Lucienne the Pidgey – level 16
Champagne the Diglett – level 18
Crescent the Drowzee – level 13
Rolling the Voltorb – level 14
Dolorosa the Machop – level 16
Rick the Gastly – level 15
Journeyman the Weepinbell – level 31
Regret the Goldeen – level 20
Pantheon the Snorlax – level 30
Face the Ditto – level 25
Victoria the Doduo – level 24
Sorrow the Venonat – level 24
Percy the Tentacool – level 10
Zulf the Zubat – level 22
Pygmalion the Staryu – level 25
Mancer the Tangela – level 33
One Day the Ponyta – level 34
Alhazred the Persian – level 37
Equinox the Pidgeotto – level 37

Ceased to be
Wharf the Geodude – level 9 – Cannon fodder in its purest form.
Windbags the Butterfree – level 18 – Youngster Joey happened.
Bynn the Primeape – level 46 – Machoke broke her.

Some Forgotten Pocket Dimension
Ignored the Bulbasaur - level 6
Unworthy the Eevee – level 25
Nessie the Lapras – level 25
Bruce the Hitmonlee – level 25
Lord Helix – level 5

 

Disaster strikes! My beautiful Stormfly the Pidgeotto gets crit-headbutted by the snorlax below Lavender.

On the other hand, Konan the Snorlax joins the team, still drenched in the blood of his predecessor. May he be equally brutal to our enemies.

---------- Post automerged at 09:59 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:55 AM ----------

Konan proved quite the barbarian. He steamrolled all the trainers between lavender and fuschia, and then solo'd Koga's gym, even though my team was hilariously underleveled.

Sadly, Konan succumbed to Toxic. But I cannot think of a more glorious end. RIP Konan.

That still leaves an empty slot in my team. Perhaps Snotlout the Dratini from SZ would be a good adition.

---------- Post automerged at 10:26 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:59 AM ----------

Success! Elsa the Articuno joins the team. I sent 25 level Tuffnut the Butterfree against her, hoping that Tuff would manage to get a Toxic off before eating an Ice Beam to the face. But not only did he manage it, he didnt even die! Elsa could have OHKO'd my entire team (none of which are above 40) but she didnt. She obviously wanted to join.

Welcome, Elsa.

 

A Legendary in a nuzlocke team? For shame.

 

Meh. I'm not using her much anyway, trying to level up the others, and I've already got Toothless the Charizard for Lance.

Its just thst I was passing through Seafoam and I thought that trying to capture Articuno with my hilariously underleveled and weak to ice pokemon was too good an opportunity.

Edit: The truth is that I really wanted to name something Elsa, and there was nothing better than the Articuno.

 

OK, this is going to be short and sweet because goddamn Firefox cocked up and caused me to lose my half-done writeup and redoing it is too much work and too much like work.

After beating Team Flare for good, back to Anistar City and into Route 18. Catch Arnold the Gurdurr here. Can't evolve it to Conkeldurr (wish I could) but it's still a decent backup option with Eviolite.

Terminus Cave for TM's and trainer battles, catch Temptress the Ariados due to a shaking spot encounter. Brick Break TM'd onto Genma, because I'm sick of missing with Sky Uppercut.

Beat down Professor Sycamore in Couriway Town. On Route 19, the little kiddie friends think they have what it takes to challenge the master and learn their places. Just too overleveled to have trouble with this tard gauntlet. Waterfall HM acquired and taught to Leviathan.

Now into the purple flowers to catch something, turns out to be Slurm the Sliggoo. Plan to switch out Pyroar for Goodra once I get done with Snowbelle Gym. Navigate the lower parts of the route to get to the Sludge Bomb TM, which at last replaces Anak's long outdated Venoshock.

Into and through Snowbelle. Catch Hedwig the Noctowl in the woods. Zoroark would have been lovely here, though hardly necessary. Get some free shit in Pokemon Village, and then back through the woods to Snowbelle.

Genma handles the gym trainers, since I plan to replace Cleopatra after this place and I'd rather the experience go to something I'm going to be using. She does get to deal with Wulfric though. Flamethrower oneshots Abomasnow and Avalugg, and Overheat provides the coup de grace on Cryagonal. Badge and Ice Beam TM get.

Now that I can use Waterfall, back around to do so. It's raining in Couriway Town when I get there to get the Rock Slide TM, so I pull Slurm out of the box and head up to Route 18. Doesn't take very long to get him up two levels to 50 and evolve to Goodra. Also pick up the Stone Edge TM at Frost Cavern.

Now, time to get ready for the last ride. Fly back to Camphrier Town again, and issue a Silver Writ of Invitation at the Battle Chateau. Come ye lord and ladies and butlers and maids and get thine asses walloped (and perhaps more depending on gender and looks). This goes swimmingly, and now it's time.

Back to Snowbelle City and west towards Victory Road we go.

Commercial break. Buy Sham-wow.

And now, to the end.

Route 21 requires some HM slavery to get all the items and trainer battles, which makes it take a little longer. The wild encounter here is a damn Spinda, which I decide not to bother catching. Before entering Victory Road proper, I head back to Route 22 to grab the Earthquake TM, which goes onto Leviathan's one 'free' (also known as the one that isn't Waterfall, Ice Beam or Dragon Dance) move slot.

Disaster almost strikes right off the bat, as the gate guard wants to battle. I lead with Vira. His Carbink dies to Earthquake in one shot, but his Kingdra does not and throws out Scald. Vira tanks that and ends the seahorse. So, last is a Raichu. Well, I have a Ground type out so might as well just roll with that. This Raichu happens to run Grass Knot. Vira is already at less than optimal health and Mamoswine weighs a lot. Pokemon-amie saves my ass yet again, as Vira evades the attack and Earthquakes the rat. Serious luck save there.

Things go smoothly enough through most of Victory Road. Psyshock TM acquired, and replaces Mr. Mime's Psychic. Another lucky break against Serena. Her Meowstic opens on Genma with Disarming Voice, which doesn't manage to do much even with quadruple damage. Crunch mauls that kitty. Next is Altaria, and I had no clue it was running Dazzling Gleam. That drops Genma to 19 HP. Switch, obviously, and I play the rest of the battle cautious. So that's twice I've almost had a disaster.

First encounter in here is Grima the Zweilous which is cool beans. I'd totally have rolled with Hydreigon if I hadn't already trained up the Goodra. Oh well.

Karma finally catches up right at the end, in the final gauntlet of Veterans before the entrance to the Pokemon League. The first one opens with a Trevenant. Thanks to its Ghost typing, Anak the Roserade is unable to oneshot it with Sludge Bomb. The shitty thing finishes itself off with Curse. No big deal, since I can Giga Drain back whatever damage that does. Ha ha. That almost works, as Giga Drain rips the Veteran's Gigalith down to one HP and heals Anak to full. But Stone Edge does what Stone Edge does, crits and leaves Anak with juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust little enough health that Curse completes the screwjob.

Rest in Peace: Anak the Roserade

Fffffffff. That Roserade had served me through over 90% of this run, only to die at the Very. Fucking. End. That makes a clean sweep for my Zahard Princess-themed Pokemon. I had three in this run and all of them ended up dead. Anyway, ragestomp the rest of the old bags and get to the League. Anak goes to the crypt box and Cleopatra the Pyroar comes back out. I burn my Rare Candy stash to get Cleopatra up near par with the remainder of the team.

I have Grass reserves in abundance, but screw training up another Pokemon at this point. I didn't need Anak to win the game. Might have used her on Siebold, but I have other workable (and probably safer) options there. Anyway, heal up and in we go. Just going to go clockwise. Team recap headed into the E4:

Leviathan the Gyarados, Level 73: Waterfall/Ice Fang/Dragon Dance/Earthquake
Genma the Pangoro, Level 70: Parting Shot/Brick Break/Crunch/Rock Slide
Sweettooth the Mr. Mime, Level 70: Psyshock/Dazzling Gleam/Thunderbolt/Calm Mind
Vira the Mamoswine, Level 70: Earthquake/Ice Fang/Strength/Stone Edge
Slurm the Goodra, Level 72: Thunderbolt/Flamethrower/Muddy Water/Outrage
Cleopatra the Pyroar, Level 68: Flamethrower/Hyper Voice/Dark Pulse/Overheat

Versus Elite Four Malva

Obviously, Gyarados will handle this. Waterfall crushes Pyroar in one hit, removing the only potential threat Malva has to throw at it (Wild Charge).

Torkoal is next, and annoyingly defensive enough that Leviathan can't quite kill it. I eat a Stone Edge here, which doesn't do too much damage because Torkoal is ass. I Dragon Dance as Malva heals and then dumptruck Torkoal on the next turn.

Talonflame outspeeds Leviathan and connects with an ineffective Brave Bird. Waterfall kills it, but Flame Body inflicts a burn.

Have to Full Restore to get rid of the burn against Chandelure, who uses a barely effective Shadow Ball and then dies on the next turn.

One down.

Versus Elite Four Siebold

Leonardo's Revenge.

Mr. Mime leads this one since Roserade is no more. Set up a couple Calm Minds against Clawitzer, whose Water Pulses do some damage but not enough to constitute a threat thanks to Sweetooth having nice Special Defense. Thunderbolt ends it once I'm done.

Gyarados and Barbaracle meet the same fate.

Starmie manages to set up a Light Screen, and that battle turns into a healing stall until it wears off. Thunderbolt zaps Starmie as well.

Versus Elite Four Drasna

More Mr. Mime. Psyshock oneshots Dragalge to start.

Altaria does not die in one to Dazzling Gleam though, and sends off a weak Moonblast. I Calm Mind during the turns Drasna spends healing, and the SAtk boost allows a oneshot on the next go.

Noivern Super Fangs, but that can't kill and Dazzling Gleam does.

Druddigon just dies to Dazzling Gleam. And that makes three.

Versus Elite Four Wikstrom

Man, this is the queerest-looking knight I've ever seen.

Vira leads against Klefki, which has priority and wastes it using Torment. This might normally be annoying, but I'll be switching next turn assuming Wikstrom's AI does what I believe it will. Earthquake slaughters Klefki.

I guess right, out comes Aegislash. Switch to Leviathan, Intimidate lowers its attack and Iron Head does shit damage on the switch due to Intimidate and type resistance. Some annoyance follows as Wikstrom spends every other turn using King's Shield, but he doesn't manage to do anything worthwhile and eventually Aegislash gets EQ'd to death.

Probopass out, switching to Genma in case it runs Electric moves. Which it does, but Discharge does almost nothing to Pangoro on the switch. Thankfully no paralysis, and Brick Break oneshots Probopass out through Sturdy thanks to Genma having Mold Breaker.

Scizor is last, switch to Cleopatra and that's an obvious result.

4/4, easy as pie.

Now through the shiny door into the light. And onto the platform.

Oh dear, I think I'm becoming a God.

Versus Kalos Pokemon League Champion Diantha

And now, it's time for the classic Sera Nuzlocke Champion Stratagem. Also known as 'Unleash the Leviathan'.

Those who have seen my runs before know what I'm going to do, but we'll spell out out anyway.

Dragon Dance the opening three turns against Hawlucha, who gets off two Poison Jabs with a Swords Dance in between. Some damage done, but no poison status and that's all that matters and all she wrote for Diantha. Ice Fang, gone.

Aurorus - Waterfall, Tyrantrum - Earthquake, Gourgeist - Ice Fang, Goodra - Ice Fang, Mega Gardevoir - Waterfall. Good night, sweet Diantha.

New Hero.

And now, it's celebration time! Why are the other kids walking in my victory parade? And who allowed a hobo into the process...oh, that's AZbro.

One last battle, one last Gyarados rape. Two Waterfalls and an Ice Fang. AZbro gets his Floette back and he's a happy woobie at last. No bestiality.

And that's a wrap. Until next time.

 

Right, Gary, show me your moves. I lead with Caleb versus his Pidgeot, which goes about as would be expected. He follows up with Charizard, probably for the type advantage. Montsegur eats a Flamethrower and proceeds to have the Quick Claw proc twice in a row as the Charizard goes down to two Surfs. I pause to ask several of my friends if they’ve been sacrificing things in my name again, because this luck is just not natural and I’m fresh out of sacrifices. Nobody admits anything, naturally.

Exeggcute paralyses Shift as I switch the Fearow in, but paralysis doesn’t proc as the eggs are drilled down. Rhyhorn gets sent out and I throw Montsegur in for a second go – at this point, he’s got the advantage over Gary’s remaining Pokémon unless Gyarados runs Bite off its weaker attacking stat. Gyarados comes out to avenge the Rhyhorn, sets up Rain Dance and proceeds to Hydro Pump Slowbro for 20 % of its hp. If that’s all... Alakazam’s Psychic also doesn’t do much, but at least that wasn’t boosted by Rain. I think I’ve been underestimating Slowbro a bit too much in the past, especially since it has a surprising width as far as TMs go. Not that you’d really need to run Flamethrower on a Water-type in the first three generations, really, but it’s the principle of the matter.

Victory Road, aka everyone’s favourite Strength puzzle. I added a couple of levels to my party before tackling this, but with no Pokémon level 50 or higher, this might get annoying if the trainers are bastards. I add Beaten the Onix to the box as the last Pokémon I’ll be catching this run. The trainers are okay, apart from that Charizard on the first floor because it burns Montsegur.

Oak, you unspeakable bastard. This is the best place in the game as far as trainer levels are concerned, and I can’t use the fucking VS Seeker in here? Fuck you, and your grandson too.

Hi Indigo Plateau, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got grinding to do. Off to Celadon we go. [insert Rocky music here]. (And this is why I tend to run with four or five Pokes plus HM slave in real runs... XP just gets too diluted.) I switch to Kindle Road once Caleb and Fire Ants are level 54 and I’m in dire need of a wee bit of variety. Once everyone hits 54, I divide up my remaining Rare Candy and buy the Shadow Ball, Ice Beam and Thunderbolt TMs, after which I proceed to teach quite a few new TMs.

My team as I head into the Elite 4:

Caleb the Magneton at level 55 with (still sucky) Sturdy / Quirky nature. Currently holds a Cheri Berry. Definitely star of the team for Lorelei and might be valuable on the switch-ins for Agatha. Also going to be leading against Lance and Gary for obvious reasons. Thunderbolt/Thunder Wave/Tri Attack/Reflect. I was going to use Bynn to snap Lorelei’s Ice types in half, but a Machoke put paid to that.

Montsegur the Slowbro at level 55 with Own Tempo / Docile nature. Has held the Quick Claw since forever. Ultimately decided against teaching this thing Flamethrower for shits ‘n giggles, but he’s probably capable of sweeping Bruno and Lance on his onesies, and Gary might be within reach as well. Is probably MVP of anything post-Koga, as he took down Blaine and Giovanni solo. Surf/Ice Beam (PPMax)/Psychic (PPup)/Calm Mind.

Fire Ants the Raticate at level 55 with Run Away and a Brave nature. Surprisingly powerful, just don’t throw her up against anything with very high physical defence. Switching in is also a risky proposition if not entirely certain what the opponent will do. Oldest member of the team and definitely earned her stripes. Designated Ghost killer. Return/Super Fang/Shadow Ball/Blizzard (PPup) because why the fuck not for the latter. Holds a Sitrus Berry.

Amanitis the Sandslash at level 54 with Sand Veil / Calm nature. Holder of the Leftovers, he’s got loads of HP and physical bulk that has served him well against anything physical. Would have been better if this were Gen 1 and Koffing/Weezing didn’t have Levitate, but shit happens. Rock Slide/Brick Break/Aerial Ace/Earthquake. He might see use on Bruno primarily, but he can also serve as fodder.

Jevel the Kadabra at level 54 with Synchronise / Timid nature. Holds a Twistedspoon that came with the capture, but he’s been surprisingly meh following Koga’s defeat. Probably highest up the list of sacrifices, even if I’m certain he can solo Bruno without breaking a sweat. Was tempted to teach it Shock Wave, but only the Gyaradoses take more damage from that than from Psychic, so he’s going with Psybeam/Recover/Reflect/Psychic.

Shift the Fearow at level 54 with Keen Eye / Mild nature. Equipped with a Chesto Berry, her typing means she’s a good switch-in on (and possibly killer of) Agatha’s ghosts. Tied for fastest member of the team with Jevel, I’m sure that I can use her moveset to do some nasty things, even if it’s only stalling an Outrage turn. Fly/Drill Peck/Pursuit/Secret Power. Was tempted to teach her Steel Wing, but that’s only advantageous against Onix and Jynx. Onix vs Fearow is a foolish matchup and Jynx probably falls to Drill Peck anyway, plus it’s not exactly smart either.

Boxed
Transition the Weedle – level 7
Lucienne the Pidgey – level 16
Champagne the Diglett – level 18
Crescent the Drowzee – level 13
Rolling the Voltorb – level 14
Dolorosa the Machop – level 16
Rick the Gastly – level 15
Journeyman the Weepinbell – level 31
Regret the Goldeen – level 20
Pantheon the Snorlax – level 30
Face the Ditto – level 25
Victoria the Doduo – level 24
Sorrow the Venonat – level 24
Percy the Tentacool – level 10
Zulf the Zubat – level 22
Pygmalion the Staryu – level 25
Mancer the Tangela – level 33
One Day the Ponyta – level 34
Alhazred the Persian – level 37
Equinox the Pidgeotto – level 37
Beaten the Onix – level 40

Ceased to be
Wharf the Geodude – level 9 – Cannon fodder in its purest form.
Windbags the Butterfree – level 18 – Youngster Joey happened.
Bynn the Primeape – level 46 – Machoke broke her.

Some Forgotten Pocket Dimension
Ignored the Bulbasaur - level 6
Unworthy the Eevee – level 25
Nessie the Lapras – level 25
Bruce the Hitmonlee – level 25
Lord Helix – level 5

 

Lorelei

I lead with Caleb, who fries Dewgong in one and Cloyster in two, but only because the fucker used Protect on the first turn. Slowbro gets crithax’d and Lorelei oddly sends out Lapras instead of Jynx, which she should’ve sent out second in the first place. I don’t get the AI here, but not complaining. Lapras actually survives Thunderbolt with about 20 % hp, which triggers her Berry and shoves it out of Lorelei’s healing range, I hope. Surf does just under half hp dmg, and the next Thunderbolt is lethal. Jynx is taken care of by Montsegur after some Lovely Kiss and Attract shenanigans.

Bruno

I tend to view him as the absolute easiest Elite 4 member ever because he’s just got such weak Pokémon. Machamp and Hitmonlee are okay but the latter falls over in a stiff breeze. Hitmonchan suffers from the lack of Physical/Special Split and Onix was scary when Brock had one, not now. Any decently offensive Psychic type destroys him, as do the tankier Grass/Poisons or anything that flies and has a halfway decent special attack for the Onix duo. Montsegur does five 1hkos. Next.

Agatha

Shadow Ball fails to 1hko Gengar, which does not bode well for me. Naturally, it’s a fucking Double Team spammer Gengar. I keep on missing, which sucks. Gengar goes down after several heals, but Fire Ants is confused going into her Golbat. I try to hit it twice and get confused twice. Golbat’s Air Cutter in between keeps me away from the red by a long shot after the second confused hit, but a crit puts paid to Fire Ants. Crap, but I should’ve played it safe and switched or used a full heal. Shift goes out and immediately crits the thing to death in a case of delicious irony. Arbok comes out, but I anticipate the Sludge Bomb and send out Caleb. One snakeskin purse later, only two ghosts are left on her side. I switch back to Shift as the Haunter comes out, and the Hypnosis is immediately countered by the equipped Berry. Drill Peck and Haunter kills itself using Curse. History repeats itself when switch Caleb into a Sludge Bomb, and the Electric type kills the Gengar after five Poké Flute uses and a Hyper Potion.

Lance

I use an Ether on Thunderbolt prior to the match and even though the Gyarados tries its best to flinchhax me to death, it doesn’t quite work. Anyone for fried fish? I let one of the Dragonairs Outrage on Slowbro as I set up with Calm Mind and heal up with a Hyper Potion. Once I have four Calm Minds stacked, it’s Ice Beam time. Even the Dragonite’s Hyper Beam doesn’t dent the Slowbro too much, thanks to the good Defence stat it has (a crit would’ve ruined me though), but three Ice Beams and a Surf bring down the Dragon Master. I was wondering where his Charizard was for a second before I recalled that he only has that in Gen II plus remakes.

Gary

Caleb vs. Pidgeot is the lead, and that’s just plain hopeless for Gary. He actually Featherdances it – a pitiful statement if I ever saw one. Charizard is his natural follow-up and as I’ve done a few times before, Montsegur switches in and eats the fire. This time, it’s a Fire Blast, but eh, still only does about 1/3rd hp. The second one misses, I get in a Calm Mind and after the second Calm Mind, it gets to the point where Aerial Ace does more damage than Fire Blast. Time to wrap up, Gary. I toss an X-Defend on Montsegur because why the fuck not and exit Charizard stage left, soaked. Gyarados eats two Psychics, which is impressive because I’m sitting on three Calm Mind uses at this point. Exeggutor tries a Sleep Powder – Light Screen – Sleep Powder – Giga Drain combination, which works until the Quick Claw procs and Montsegur Ice Beams it to 5hp. Damn Light Screen. Giga Drain also does a very respectable amount of damage considering everything – about 25 %.. Gary heals his Exeggutor from red HP twice more and then the Light Screen falls, my Quick Claw procs and bye bye tree. Alakazam falls easily, though its only Psychic does proc the lowered Special Defence, but as one Surf took it out, Gary doesn’t get to use that. Rhydon versus Slowbro is just pathetic, though he does get in a crit Earthquake for about 60 % damage. Not enough, I win, gg.

Calm Mind is OP.

The winners:


Of which two never even got a turn in the E4. Figures. Bunch of freeloaders.

 

Time for another Nuzlocke. This time, I’m doing Pokémon X, standard rules with no gift Pokémon and Set Battle Style. Also, no duplicates clause until the first badge. I do not want to be stuck grinding on route 3 for ages because I got double Weedle or double Scatterbug. Naming theme for real Pokémon is 90’s cartoons. I pick Forget the Chespin as my starter, but he’s not long for this world anyway, so yeah. He’s looking shifty. Mum’s a bit weird, comparing me leaving the house to a fucking Rhyhorn race. Can’t wait to get out of this madhouse. Ciao Rhyhorn, I’m out of here.

You can probably catch that Bunnelby with full HP, Serena, it’s level 2. Weaksauce. I show her how it’s done by catching a Weedle with full HP. I name it Flymon in an eventual wait for Beedrill and I hopefully, I won’t run into any flaming birds. Much as I’d like to leave the Chespin in a ditch somewhere, I need its help to train Flymon to level 5, because fuck trying to level a Weedle on a route with multiple Flying types and one of the weakest attacks in the game.

The no duplicates clause kicks in, twice, but I finally find a Pokémon I can catch. Get over here, Dee Dee the Pansear. I’m sure you’ll fit in nicely as long as you roast Santalune Gym. Roast those Adventure Rules while you’re at it too and you’ll be my bestest friend. She helps catch Pinky the Bidoof. Narf. If only Flymon didn’t take ages to down even the simplest of Pokémon, then I’d have a team that could do something. I hate grinding and this takes ages. I pick up Dot the Bunnelby on Route 22 and start training. I really can’t shake the feeling that switching out gives full XP to both Pokémon, and no, it’s not the Pokémon-Amie boost.

Gym-roasting time. The trainers fall to a combination of Pinky and Dee Dee, and camera-lass is challenged. In a rather derp move, I lead with Pinky instead of Flymon, but Surskit ain’t a threat and the rodent Tackles it to death. That Vivillon is a bit more annoying. I switch Flymon in, only to find out that Poison Sting just won’t poison. Fuckin’ bug probably has Shield Dust for its ability. Once Infestation clears, I switch ‘n roast the bug down. More proof for the XP thing – a level 12 Vivilion does NOT give 1600+ xp, which is the combined total that Pinky, Dee Dee and Flymon end up getting. Mask get, off to see the Happy Mask Salesman now.

Found out the Happy Mask Salesman is skipping town, will keep the thing around for later. Heal up, head out to Route 4 and hopefully find some good Pokémon. Get EZ-mode, immediately switched off and tossed into the depths of my bag unless worst comes to worst. I nick Téa the orange Flabébé. Not planning on using her since I went with one for my first playthrough, but every team needs some cannon fodder if need be.

Seriously, the lift in your lab has a door that goes up/down instead of opening like normal lift doors, Sycamore? Are you trying to kill me when I step over the threshold and the door just closes? I don’t trust you, and I don’t trust any of your Pokémon either. I pick the Bulbasaur and name it Bubba. Nomen est omen, right? Too bad this is not-France, instead of not-Japan. I make off with the False Swipe TM and leave the place. Too bad I can’t let Dee Dee torch it.

Lysandre, you’re creepy as hell with your talk of beauty everlasting. He’s the type of guy who’d build a robot for a life partner just because it wouldn’t ever age. And possibly turn himself into one. Oh well, time to save.

Alive and kicking ass
Dee Dee the Pansear – level 14
Flymon the Beedrill – level 13
Pinky the Bidoof – level 14
Dot the Bunnelby – level 11
Téa the Flabébé – level 7

On standby
Nobody just yet.

Prison inmates
Forget the Chespin – level 8
Bubba the Bulbasaur – level 10

 

Oh, god, I’d forgotten the O-powers. Yeah, no, not gonna be using those. Also, that Lucario totally only likes me because I make for a good pole to pee against. It would explain why whatshername is so eager to give it to me later on. New Pokémon time! It’s a Furfrou, which is pretty much the best thing. I didn’t explore the grooming options before, but I’m hoping there’s an afro-style for Gerald the Furfrou. Three Normal types in one team is a bit too much, but since you get the Return TM (and infinite uses of it) this early in the game, I’m all for it.

Tierno, Corphish may have more than one set of legs, but that doesn’t mean it’s got good dance moves. Try getting something worthwhile next time.

Great, a level 13 Kadabra. Tonnes of special attack and no real walls, and it’s faster than anything I have on my team. Dot dies to a crit Confusion, but I doubt that it could’ve survived a non-crit. I have to blow several potions – thanks to Kinesis hacks and moves doing just under half hp damage. Téa is also lost in the process, doing what she was supposed to do, which is to be a roadblock until the heroes save the day. Pinky attains a new level of derpiness after the battle, but I’m now down two team members.

Yeah yeah, but-thou-must me into visiting an old castle. Even better, I find out that the Route 7 Pokémon is a Snorlax. Not looking forward to catching that. Low catchrates suck. That’s not for a bit, though. First, I get Polly Esther the Espurr on Route 6, and then I pay too much money to get into an old Versailles ripoff and play catch the furry Farfetch’d. No, Shauna, I caught it because the hedges are dense enough that a Furfrou can’t get in there. Or because I can think more than one step in front of me. Or because the Furfrou is an idiot. Your choice.

As Arceus, Mew and Snover chat in my Pokémon-Amie, I wake Snorlax up. I’m a bit annoyed that it’s not female, because I had a pretty good name picked out for her, but 1 in 8 chance is a bitch and I already defied those odds once. No Rest makes it easy to get it down to 1hp with False Swipe and start chucking balls at him. Too bad I let Dee Dee not learn Yawn, but in the interest of roleplaying a wee bit – can you see Dee Dee use that? (Read: I was derping. It’ll be a recurring theme.). It’s caught eventually, and I name him Eek!.

Time to join the aristocracy and violently battle my way to the top. Does that make it a meritocracy? Battleocracy? Either way, free training and lotsa money, not ever going to be saying no to that. Time to crush some dreams as a 450-odd kg Pokémon crashes into them. I’ll probably be returning here quite a bit.

Psyduck’s Water Gun animation makes me think it’s sneezing the water out. Ugh. I did not need that particular mental image.

What is it with all the Smeargle knowing Fighting-type moves. Seriously, Rock Smash on one, Brick Break on another. Good thing Eek! just tanks everything – 80hp trumps near everything at this point in the game. Double battle is boring. Serena apparently plays by Nuzlocke rules (sort of) as well because her Fletchling faints and it doesn’t show up for the rest of the game, I think. I get a Zubat in the next cave, and there can be only one nickname. Welcome Batman and shove over Gerald. Exit cave, get addition to Pokédex and save.

Alive and kicking ass
Dee Dee the Pansear – level 17
Flymon the Beedrill – level 18
Pinky the Bibarel – level 18
Eek! the Snorlax – level 18
Polly Esther the Espurr – level 17
Batman the Zubat – level 17

On standby
Gerald the Furfrou – level 17

Pushing up daisies
Dot the Bunnelby – level 12 & Téa the Flabébé – level 7: Abracadabra and gone.

Prison inmates
Forget the Chespin – level 8
Bubba the Bulbasaur – level 10

 

I might do an Egglocke of Leaf Green in a bit when I get some more free time. Dunno though, the concept seems like it would be easymoding the game more than it is already. Rattatas and Caterpies switched out for likely better pokemon with egg moves, and such. Might be more fun to do under Nuzlocke Squared rules, with the limited evolutions. Any support for the idea around here?