a perfect HTML version was just released


Not that we here @ DLP.net condone piracry (Ar matey) just mentioning it for archive purposes.

 

That Ginny hate just wont go away and this Hermoine hate the forum has been trying to breed is growing. So we have a girl who has just spent the last 2 summers pretty much alone with a boy she likes and nothing happens now as soon as another girl starts to move in she goes all drama queen. My god JK killed Hermoine.

 

where is this at not that i'm gonna go their offcourse

 

Anyone else notice that fudge said the dementors were breeding, but in the 3rd book we were told they can not be killed....seems like something does add up since everone isnt swiming in them

 

Yep, as i've mentioned before cute little plot holes do abound. Keeping up canon from book to book seems like it's taking its toll on her.

 

as I've said I unlike the Majority of this community liked it but I will admit it has major fucked up problems.

- a tiny little bit of plotholes was filled in but she just made more. jesus women just completely fix the god damn plot holes and don't leave more! she did sort of fill in a couple al admit that

- WTF? Teaching students too cast spells with out speaking. Sure Albus and Tom can do it but I assumed it was a mark of power but nooo even effin Neville Longbottom could be able to do it

-Snape as the half blood prince. No, just no. Whatever shes on she needs to go in to rehab for it.

- the whole memory thing interesting but pointless. Who really cares about his psycho grandfather and uncle. We don't car5e about his life at tyhe orphanage, we've already seen too much of the Slug Club with Harry we don't need to see it with Voldemort

I could list more and I could list the good things but they'd probabally just be shot down

 

Not nec. there are some good things, but the bad far outweight them sadly =(

I liked the Twins shop sign for example! But it was mostly small things that were good, while the biggest things were just left half assed.

 

things half assed such as Tonks gets together with Remus, ron and hermione are alive, harry and ginny get together but brakeup thank god thought she should die, snape being the half-blood prince, too much about tom, the whold spilt your soul and put it into something thing, and the overall harry not even going remotely dark..er did i miss anything?

 

like i said before....i'm really SERIOUSLY disappointed in this book. but lets look at it this way, we have an entire universe chock-full-o'plot holes for fan fic writers to fill in...and who was actually expecting this book to be exciting anyways? the woman is richer than the bloody queen of england, she doesnt have to write anything good and people will still buy it and flock in crowds dressed up in those pansy-ass uniforms they got in the movies and spend all of their money on half-assed merchandise...I think all that matters to her now is the money.

 

there is one good thing that came out of this book all the major slashes have just been thrown out the window and for that we must thank JKR other then that the book is sad

 

I think she just has a contract to fufill and doesnt give a rats ass about the books anymore. The plot is something ripped out of several bad fics and copy and pasted together.

 

Very accurate summation. It really did read like a poorly conceived teenage romance novel for the most part.

I actually didn’t mind the Snape stuff, it had potential. The main problem was that the plot was so completely contrived and – well, awful. If Rowling had used the same general theme with a decent plot, it might have worked out better.

I also don’t think chapter 2 ruined Narcissa and Bellatrix. Narcissa was obviously hysterical, and we’ve always known that Bellatrix is a cackling fool.

Horcrux. Bleh. It sounds like something out of pokemon. Now Harry can travel the world battling gym leader’s and collecting them all. I’m almost certain that the last Horcrux is Harry, despite Dumbledore’s opinion to the contrary.

Who is R.A.B or whatever? Regulus Black? Possibly, but Probably not. A new annoying character who we’ll meet in the next book; almost certainly.

 

I'll post these in Blocks so it's easier to read.

When replying DO NOT USE THE QUOTE FUNCTION IT WILL MAKE THE PAGES HUGE

Chapter 1=

-You can tell from the giant clusterfuck that is chapter 1 that the books crap.
-She makes so many highly noticable things happen in the world of the muggles it's insane.
-Since when is Fudge suave? The first meeting with the Prime Minister went off all James Bondish. The next meetings seem more like the Fudge we know and hate, but the writing for it is garbage.
-The world has seemingly fallen to shit in the fewWEEKS since Harry ended year 5. Dementors everywhere, giants loose, and nonstop death. Gee and think the first 5 book containted pretty much nothing. She must of finally realized this and sped it up, OVERTIME to compensate.
-The dementors should of revolted after book 4, and the major deaths should of started in 5. The way its written is rushed, like JKR just wanted another paycheck.
-And I guess I'm the only one who finds dementor's breeding nasty.
-The new minister: Scrimgeour is instantly liked in this chapter. the man's not a wuss.


Chapter 2

-Guess all the fics that had Snape in a posh manor were ruined. The man is a great Potions master.. and yet lives in a hovel?!?
-She patches the massive plothole about why Voldemort would trust Snape after book 1.
-God, even the god damned CANON author calls the DoM bit a "fiasco" A million cliche fan writers just soiled themselves.
-She ruins the Narcissa and Bellatrix characters in this chapter.
-Snape makes "The Unbreakable Vow" How utterly unimaginative a name. He's supposed to watch over Draco in his attempts to kill Dumbledore. Draco is ordered to do it as punishment for Lucius' mess up

Chapter 3

-Wow we FINALLY get to Harry.
-Gee Harry being named "The Chosen One" in the prophet just screams KEEP THE FACT THAT I AM SECRET
-She writes from a weird POV in here I can't remember her using before, it's out of place.
-She introduces Side-Along-Apparation something fic writers have used for YEARS. Sad to see she's tapped out for ideas.
-Gee Dumbles letter kisses Harry's arse just a bit. He makes up for this with some funny Dursley moments.
-Tells Harry he inhertied everything Sirius left in the lamest ass way its ever been sprung. ha
-Funny kreacher moments. SHUT UP
-Dumbledore gets more and more out of character as time goes on. All of a sudden hes aware about the years of abuse and neglect?

Chapter 4

-Gee walking corpses, yep the series has def. turned very dark.
-She mentions Dumbledore's hand for the tenth billionth time and doesnt explain it again. She mentioned his reaction time slowing for the 20th billionth times.
-I am underwhelmed by Slughorn.
-Every bit of Lily was a slytherin was destroyed
-Seems the Order is common knowledge now? did I miss something?
-Thank god JKR didnt turn him into a whiny bitch over Sirius. It is, as we all thought, Sirius' death is his turning point.
-Sure lets let Harry get Sirius killed, and THEN dumbles will realize it's time for some one on one training.... DUH
-Theres that FIASCO word again. how about horrible clusterfuck, terrible mistake, bad incident? no FIASCO!


Chapter 5

-"Arthur's heading the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects"
Yes because we all know lovable Mr. Weasley should be in charge of finding and disarming dangerous items... Maybe theres more to the guy behind the scenes but he's always come across to me as a likable whackjob
-Nice bit with the clock
-We all know Fleur is not English/British. Write her damned speech without the annoying accents. It does not add to her character for her to say 'Arry, it just makes it stand out as a glaring typo. Not to mention having her do it sometimes, but not others is stupid.

On a side thought, I can stand Fleur a hell of a lot better then Ginny

-Thank god Hermione got a black eye from SOMETHING. Her whining about the OWLs in fanon AND canon is pathetic. Would someone please AK this chick and get it over with.
-Why the sadness over the potions grade? He only tossed Auror out there in book 5 as a half assed answer, not seriously enough for him to have a sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

Chapter 6

-Smart move taking Ollivander out of the shop in this chapt. (Itd be even better if there was not other places to get wands, and the De's somehow snapped a ton of wands)
-She just tosses out the captaincy like it's nothing. The whole godamned book is like this. "By the way youre rich/captain/etc" or OH did you hear person number #2632 in this fic just got killed/maimed/dragged off/kissed?"
-Rons jealousy vanishes over the Quidditch Captain spot being given to Harry, who knows nothing about the game, except how to chase a shiny golden ball.
-For goblin security, its damned simple for ppl to get money out of Harrys vault for him. Molly before, and now Bill gets money for Harry.
-No jealousy from Ron either over the full money bag.
-Harrys been given top grade security status. Wtf is he a international spy now? JKR needs to decided if the wizarding world loathes, or loves him because this bouncing back and forth crap is.....
-Harry vrs Narcissa dialogue is nice as it shows he's actually got balls this year. In all the other years he's just swept along with the flow and often only survives by pure luck.

One of my favorite scenes in canon is here. Between Harry/Narc and the twin's shopis priceless. U-No-Poo!
She did kill the twin's joke shop though, by having them produce stuff for the way, something pretty much every fic writer has done.

-Is the damned cloak the size of a parachute now? it barely them before, and now Harry and Ron have had massive shoots up in height, they all fit underneath is easily enough to follow Malfoy? She mentions their feet may be seen, but unless i'm mistaken LAST year they "barely" fit in it, much less have it cover then now after a 4+ inch growth spurt. Pathetic continuity.

And I do find it very gay to name a werewolf Fenrir. Lupin (lupinE) was bad enough but jesus. Then again we have Sirius the dog(star). I wonder why James wasn't renamed "Buck" since he's a damned deer/stag. Can this women not do anything even close to imaginative anymore?

Chapter 7

-oh my freaking god, Harry actually figured out Draco was a DE by himself *shock* JKR tradionally has him acting like a retard until Dumbles or Hermione beat him with the stupid stick and explain, in small words, what's going on.
-I still find it stupid that so much of the work is done by children. Its bad enough in Anime when a good story is killed because a bunch of 10-14 year olds go off to save the world! In the HP world thankfully, most of the adults somehow know LESS then the children so it's actually probable
-I really wish i understood what the hell she was trying to accomplish with Luna. I like the girl, but her weirdness is beyond bonds.

-Slughorn = used car deal, nuff said. Well one more thing Celeb-whore.

-Blaise. Made a black boy because A)Only like 2 african-british guys in the whole story that i can recall off the top of my head (Dean and Lee) (what the hell is the term for a black britian? In America it's African american) and b)you had to have some other strong person from Slytherin instead of Ferret-boy.I still like Blaise better as a girl, sorry.

-Why must every damned time Ginny is around, it's mandatory to mention the Bat-Bogey hex? It makes snot bats fly out of your nose... AK the bitch and get over it.
-I don't like Draco, but that was a great moment when Harry got his ass stomped.


Chapter 8

-Why is it that we've been forced to see everyone use the same tired ass spells for years, and all of a sudden ppl are using new ones left and right?

-Dumbles hand mentioned for the sixth hundred and 21st biliont time. Reaction speed this time is not mentioned.

-Overall its a very boring, uninteresting chapter. Except for Tonks' new patronus Snape mentions, and several new spells, nothing interesting happens at all.


Chapter 9

-Good DADA class

-In potions, JKR uses a truth, polyjuice, and love potion. not dangerous at all those 3, nope, nope. And neither is "liquid luck" nope not at all. Blatant foreshadow anyone? Anyone at all?

-"Can you possibly be related to Hector Dagworth-Granger, who founded the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers? "no..."" I bet you a hundred fanfics sprout from that sentance alone.

-The fact that Harry would win the potion was cemented the second it was mentioned i mean really. Gee i wonder what he would use it for... /sarcasim.

-Someone PLEASE kill Ginny? Her attitude over Harry listening to a book is stupid. yes she had a bad run in with a diary. Does she remember any of it? NO. stfukthxbibi2u

-"This book is property of" should end with "A wanker who named himself that, as a pathetic attempt on wordplay to piss off millions of HP fans worldwide who were expecting someone COOL to be the HBP you stupid twat.


Chapter 10

- I did find the bit about handwriting looking more like a girl then a boys funny. poor snapey poo he writes like a lil *******
-When Ginny and Hermione get AKed plz get Trelawney. kthx

-I JUST remembered!! the bit with the Horcruxes!!!! I KNEW the diablo like quest to recover them, coupled with the name Ogden should make me remember something!! Ogden is the name of one of the NPC's who give you quests to kill/recover stuff in Diablo 1. May not be what she was thinking, but it IS a very gay coincidence.

-hand reference 10 trillion for the love of god when i first read the book i threw it at the wall, he waits a bit more before telling what happened.

-i really do tire of the pureblood racisim infested throughout this book. Yes we all know she's not racist and she portrays those who are as evil, can we please move the frick on? We already get to have a massive amount of time wasted in memories that give up everything in the world about Voldemorts backstory. Just have the godamned DE's scream Heil, kill them, and get it the hell over with already. (I think she could of made a second series of Voldemorts travels early in life and made a good bit of money more)

-I also like how there hasn't been many parsel tongues throughout history, similar to animagi, and yet in this book you have a whole damned family of them. Granted they are Voldies family, but crap.

-I do enjoy how superior they think they are, and yet they live in a hovel. I guess all the fics that assumed a family centuries old would have SOME money SOMEWHERE, from something would at least be able to afford a decent house. I guess being able to use magic generally means you have to live in a freaking shack. She explains this by saying the money got squandered over the years. Could the evil family just kill off some muggles and take thiers? OR Obliviate a rich family out of their home or something? First the Weasleys then Snape, then Gaunts family all live in run down houses.

- " "Sir ... is it important to know all this about Voldemort's past?"" Me = no. He's evil, kill the bastard or get to the important memories and get it over with.

-wee again with the hand!

 

Holy Fuck. There’s already post HBP fics on FF.net. Well, kind of.

Not nearly as bad as the ‘Draco could be good’ scene with Dumbedore. It was a good scene, but now there’s going to be so many bloody Draco turns good fanfics.

 

yep all because he pussed out of doing it himself.


Chapter 11

-Hermione taking notice of Harry being fanciable is disgusting, sorry.
-Ron's jealousy or attention whoring is back everytime he talks all i read is "LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!"

-""But Hogwarts is safer than their homes, bound to be! We've got Aurors, and all those extra protective spells, and we've got Dumbledore!""

Yes because the Patils home has been invaded by a troll, animagi, centaurs, spiders, basilisks, DEs later...etc. Everytime someone uses the example of how secure Hogwarts is it physically hurts my eyes.

-Hannah's mom is dead, how about we just nuke magical britian and speed it up even more?

-Lavender is bad, but not as horrible as Hermione being jealous because someone else is hitting on Ron. If someone gave this stupid girl a BOOK on sex years ago they'd of already boned

-I do find it amusing Hermione confunded McLaggen. The book queen finally breaks a rule on her own to get into Rons pants, whee

-Ron gets pissed he wasnt extended an invatation. I wish JKR would decided if he's supposed to be the jealous type or not and stop damned flopping back and forth


Chapter 12

-"The only person who did not find these charms amusing was Hermione, who maintained a rigidly disapproving expression throughout and refused to talk at all if Harry had used the Muffliato spell on anyone in the vicinity"

Yes b/c its okay to rig a Quidditch team, but not to be secure in your conversations.

-Kill.Hermione.Now.

-And.Take.Slughorn.With.Her

-Harrys newfound balls suddenly swell as he snatches Fletcher up by the throat for stealing Sirius' trinkets from #12.

-What the F*** is with Ron doubting Harry about Malfoy? JKR has always written Ron as a jumpon the badwagon guy to whatever Harry was thinking, ESPECIALLY for Malfoy bashing, and yet he keeps defending him!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

-And it is really tiresome that in all the books, Harry has made at least one effort to tell someone in authority that something is wrong, and it's always shot down. You think they'd learn to listen to the wanker by now.


Chapter 13

-it makes no sense for Hermione to ignore the Malfoy theory also. She hates him, and Harry's seen and told enough that she should of figured it out. Making her a know it all bitch through 5 books and then suddenly in the 6th she's a stupid twat with her mind on Ron's willy....

-RIddle was an evil child even at school, and he was still allowed to go. Common sense would dictate something would be done other then simlpy telling a rule breaker he's not to break rules

-Since when the hell does Dumbledore call Riddle "Lord Voldemort" every single time he mentions that name?

Why not just flat out tell Harry a short version of the history if Harry REALLY needs to know, instead of saying, remember that, you'll find out in 300 more pages why it's important! Because I don't feel like telling you yet. Its a horrible writing device


Ug k thats all i'm typing for tonight, i've read the book 3 times now. First hard edition the other day, then a .txt, then skimmed a .pdf, now rereading a html to make these notes, sheesh i usually stop reading a FANFIC this bad a few chapters in

 

i just got the book of line and i'm up to ch4 and i must say i've read very cleich(sp...ok i'm bad at spelling) fanfiction better then this.

 

Lil bit of Ranting

I cant stand dumbledore's end I cant see the greatest wizard of the century dying like a b*tch I would have atleast thought to have him either die of old age or in an epic fight with voldemort I can say her version is like having aragorn kill gandalf And WHAT is up with ginny and hermione Ginny is the biggest whore of hogwarts and hermione is a whiny b*tch
another thing how can they have apparating lessons in the castle when you cant apparate in the grounds And where the hell is mad eye moody during all this he just dissapears . they learn no new spells, there have to be at least 10 Oc's and all the main characters areOOc the plot is scrambled and the harry/ginny sh*t is the most disgusting clishea ever
and where the hell is Voldemort!!!!!!!! and good luck potion give me a break And snape as the bad guy why did she build him up as a good guy??And the play on words fort he half blood prince SUCKS, IF it was a fanfic i would have not read it. Sorry for the rant had to let it out

I really dont think that was written by j.k. Rowling[/color]

 

wouldnt it be funny if we're watching the news tomorrow and find out some little fanb!tch interfered with the printing of all these books and JKR is livid and we all get new free ones of the real story because she just wouldnt make us read this utter nonsensical CRAP!....i can dream :x

 

That would be great, but sadly not happen.

I really wonder what sort of crack she was on.

The movie studio's gotta be pissed, theres no way they can market this book into a movie for kids, theres too much dark stuff, not to mention even my 7 year old said it didn't make sense.

Ya know i just had a thought about that... what the hell did we expect from a woman who said the PoA movie was "PERFECT" and the best Hogwarts yet!

Shes obviously developed a crack addiction