I think this was my quote in this short chapter, I read it multiple times.

yes, I agree with you TheIllusiveOne, it was short and the part with Hermione did give me the creeps as I can't really stand her character, but it did its job, I still inticipate the next chapter as much as I inticipated this one.

So, in conclusion, wonderful chapter.

 

Not too much action, but I liked the new chapter. I'm eagerly awaiting the next one.

 

Isn't the oath done already though?

 

The oath was set in place for a whole year.

 

Preview of chapter

Almost done with the new chapter. Sorry about the rather long delay, but real life is kinda crazy. This new chapter should be quite interesting. For all of you who like Amelia she'll be quite prominent. anyways heres the preview, the rest should be out in 1-2 days.

Amelia absently stunned Kingsley for the seventh time in order to stifle his screams before rebinding him and once again employing her small grey spy-pensive to leech every memory of the battle she could from her second-in-command’s mind. Spy-pensives were a nasty invention that surfaced in the chaos of the second world war. They had been banned within three days of their creation, a record surpassed only by the Crucio curse.
With one of the highly illegal devices one could take memories from unwilling subjects and examine them in a leisurely fashion. Beyond the obvious ethical questions such a device had generated the process of extracting the memories was less than pleasant for the victim.
Good thing my room is sound proof. Amelia thought wryly as she carefully placed the mass of silver thoughts she had ripped from Kingsley’s head into the viewing bowl. Amelia hesitated for one last moment to make sure the auror was well and truly stunned before he took a deep breath and dunked her head in the bowl.
An hour and a half latter she emerged to find a furiously looking Kingsley struggling vainly against the steel cords she had conjured to hold him fast to the chair. Kingsley’s look of fury quickly faded to one of fear as he took in the expression on Amelia’s face.
“You idiot!” Amelia roared as she blasted Kingsley across the room, “You utter fool! You knew the capacity of those two and you still led my aurors against them? Do you have any idea how long it took me to build this corp? Do you have any idea how far your foolish disregard for the lives of those under your command has set me back?”
“Things were different this time Amelia, we had Dumble...” Kingsley began only to be cut off by another angry blasting curse from the head of the DMLE. “Yes, yes I saw just how much good your precious headmaster did out there! Without that damned Russian conjurer the other arch mage would have brunt you all to ashes! I’d throw you in Azkaban for terminally poor judgement Kingsley but sadly it’s not in a state to hold prisoners anymore!”
“What wold you have had me do Amelia? Stand by and let them make off with the most dangerous criminals in the wizard world?” Kingsley shot back as he frantically tried to dodge curse after curse from his bound position
Amelia didn’t bother to answer as she calmly leveled her wand at Kingsley and stated, “Avada Kedavra!” Kingsley had a brief moment to look at the green bolt of death in stunned disbelief before it hurled him backwards to the ground unmoving.
It’s a good thing the casualty reports from Azkaban haven’t been released yet. Looks like I’ll be giving one more speech beside the grave of a ‘fallen hero.’ Unless...yes..that could work. Amelia thought with growing glee as a new plan slowly coalesced in her mind.

 

Can't wait for the rest, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for the preveiw

 

update

Got inspired and finished the chapter tonight. Its up on FF.net. enjoy.

 

Great chap. I loathe Amelia,the evil/psychotic bitch. I hope Bella kills her.

 

A most impressive story i look foreward to seeing where you take it.

 

Another great chapter. Not that much action, but I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.

 

Yeah, most Harry/Bella stories have either HArry or Bella way OOC. I know there has to be some OOC, but it should be in Harry. But if that's the case, then it would have to be an dark Harry fic. Or he could be the light and she could be dark, and they balance each other out. Personally, I think that's bullshit.

 

justread the last chapter. FINALLY the mudbloods gunna be on her way out. Keep up the work i really like this fic.

 

Why oh why every good author out there have an uncontrolled urge to kill Kingsley? What he ever did to you? =(

 

I just read this fic. And I must say this is very good. The only thing that annoys me about it is the oaths being given to everyone like it has no power.

 

Pretty good fic, some parts are over the top IMO. But it's still enjoyable, I just wonder how the author is going to portray the Harry/Bella relationship. Should be interesting.

 

I sorta liked it at first but then the story started to go downhill after Harry meet the old man and even more after he met hermione. But, I have to say that even though I didn't like the story it was well writtin.

 

Ok, I think it's about time I put in another review.

So, good sides are well known and already mentioned many times before - Bella staying in character (and over it), interesting characterisation of Madame Bones and excellent action.

Notice that I said excellent action, not fantastic or phenomenal or the best ever. The reason is that no fight scene as of yet really came as very memorable to me. Sure, there are a lot of nice spells and good action, but in the end, it all comes down to one small to medium scale duel after another. What this story lacks is an original fight scene it'll be remembered by. But I'm sure action sequences will get only greater and greater as the plots unfolds further.

My biggest peeve, howerver, is Harry's character. He's just too pasive, chaotic and well... stupid for my taste. Neither he nor Bella don't seem to have any purpose, plan or goal in life. And while it's understandable for Bella, I prefer Harry who is a bit more proactive and driven than this guy. Even a mere dweeb!Harry wanting to form a family with the slut is better than this aimless destruction. So, while I can't fault Harry's characterisation on any logical grounds (it IS a new world for him), he still isn't the kind of main character I can connect with.

Overall, a very good story, but some plot and characterization decisions are just not my cup of tea.

 

IP82's comments are in line with a few others I have recieved about Harry and as much as it pains me to say I must agree with them at least in part. Yes, the Harry in this story is not what I really want, I think I thought of him too much as a counter-point to Bella to really make his character come to life. I'm trying to fix this over the course of the next 1-3 chapters. Any suggestions would be very helpful. In particular I am really trying to find some overarching purpose he can buy into, becasue at the moment it is quite true that he just doesn't really have one.

What I am trying to lay out plot wise is him trying to rebuild his old life only to realize that it cannot be done. This gave me the rescue of Sirius, the hooking up with Hermione etc.

as far as the stupid!Harry remark all I can say to that is I'm trying to keep him an impulsive, if not noble Lion so that even as he and Bella spiral closer and closer together there will be difference in their characters. To this effect I've avoided making him a strategic genius, tempting as it truly is.

In summary any ideas to help 'fix' Harry would be greatly appricated and hopefully make my next chapters better.

thanks

-Malice?

 

Ok, the thing about Harry is: as long as he's with Bella the way you made her, he can't really have any higher goal or purpose; she's just too chaotic and destructive to be reigned in. So, if you want to keep them together, there's really no help to Harry's character. The best you could do would be to spiral Harry further down into madness, to Bella's level, and eventually have the two of them end up in a blaze of glory, Bonny & Clyde style.

If H/B romance is just a passing stage, where the two of them will become fuck buddies, but stay enemies, then you could have two possible paths of Harry's character:

1) He only wants to live in peace. He's getting tired of all the fighting, but Bella, Dumbledore, Bones, Malfoy, Snape and everyone else are dragging him deeper and deeper into the mess. He eventually uses his lover Bella to turn these parties against each other and clear the field, so to speak. The best outcome of this path would be for everyone to end up dead, except Harry, who fakes his own death and goes away to live abroad under fake name. Bella could get killed, or imprisoned in Azkaban, or take over England as its new queen.

2) Harry gets political. He wants to reform the society and remove all the coruption that Dumbledore and Bones had created. He and Bella could start as partners in this, but with time, their differences should start to show more and more (pureblood vs democratic). In the end, they could either have the final showdown or Harry could manupulate Bella into getting killed by someone else. Or they could split the coutry in half and have each rule one part.

Some fictional third variant could include another time/dimensional travel, which opens a whole new world of possibilities.