Fuck I hate those cutting fics. Fucking emos. I have scars on my legs and arms when I did it, and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. Why did they do it? "Oh, mommy and daddy don't love me, waaah, think I'll make nice lines on my skin while listening to Green Day!" Fuck you, I was so close to throwing myself off buildings and jumping in front of cars... fuck you.

They aren't depressed, they just want attention.

Potential Plot Bunny: While going through Barty's belongings at the end of GoF, the Aurors come across a fob watch with strange, almost alien symbols on it. Harry nicks it from the DoM in OOtP. Chaos and x-over-ness ensues.

 

Potential, great potential. I'd write it but I still cant figure out how to get stories up on fanfiction. Call me stupid but I dont have the faintest clue.

 

Especially fics where he rationalizes "I never liked my name anyways"

How the hell do people come up with this? Seriously, Harry isn't that bad of a name (there are characters with much worse ones) and even if Harry was that awful to go by, wouldn't there be at least some indication of his feelings? It's not like every character is happy with their name- look at Tonks. If Harry didn't like his name, he'd had said something by now.

"Oh, mommy and daddy don't love me, waaah, think I'll make nice lines on my skin while listening to Green Day!"

I don't get why Green Day=depressed, suicidal, emo cutting to most people. Couldn't fan brats come up with something at least a bit more original if they're going to torture us with Emo!Harry? I highly doubt that Harry is in the best mental health, but there are so many better ways to deal with the issue than making him cut himself or have Hermione/Ginny/Luna/random female be anorexic.

Do some damned research, talk to someone who isn't just going through a "stage" of thinking they're horribly depressed when all it is is normal teenage angst, or get the hell out of the fandom.

 

They could talk to me, for starters.

 

Just curious here--is your objection that the emo is written unrealistically or that Harry himself is emo?

Not that I read this kind of stuff--I'm quite happy my teen years are in the (distant) past and I don't much relish reliving the less attractive aspects. (I hold these fics in the same "high" regard as I do Fundamentalist Bible-beaters, Dallas Cowboy fans, lime Jello, and people who whine about being "suckered" by predatory lenders).

 

That it's being written unrealistically. Then again, I'm not a big fan of the word "emo" itself, but I'll still read fics involving emo characters, as long as it's done well. It's the fics that you can just tell are written by teens who have no idea what they're doing that irk the hell out of me.

 

The main problem I have is with the whole emo stuff itself.

Because when you get down to it, the entire emo subculture is based on people who are in love with the idea of having a shitty life, and the stuff that goes along with it. Remember when it first showed up and everyone figured it was a derivative of the Goth subculture? Well to a degree it is. Most Goths I know either have or had really shitty lives, and they became the way they were as a result of that.

Emos don't have the first clue about the reasons for any of this stuff, normally don't have really shitty lives, and tend to be punk kids with a bad attitude. They like the idea of all the results of the goth subculture, but they can't actually be part of it because none of them have had a life that's really all that bad, so the best they can do is pretend.

Now while I can handle angst, I always remark negatively against stories that portray Harry as Emo. And by this I mean Suddenly!Super unfounded Angst. Out of left field, in one ear and out the other. If there's actually reasons for it and it's done realistically, I can handle that. It's when he's this whining angsty cutting bitch that I can't stand it.

Tell you me, having known a few cutters in my time, all those fics where Harry is some angsty cutting man whore? they have absolutely no fucking idea.

 

Now I'll conceed I've done a few different name Harrys.
Here is one peeve I think we missed, the Robe/mobility issue, the thing being Harry is kicking death eater, or occasionally auror ass because he's wearing jeans and their wearing 'cumbersome' robes.
As a society that wears robes typically since eleven or possibly younger in the case of wizard raised children, they would be used to moving in them.
Additionally Robes aren't that difficult to move around in, and that I speak from experience.

 

Eccleston is by day "The Doctor" and by night "Vindici"

 

Huh.
I never thought of that; you bring up a good point. I disagree though. I think wizard society is so based in tradition and dependent on magic (read: lazy) that they've never had a need or desire to significantly upgrade their clothing for more mobility. I mean, who cares about mobility when you can apparate or shield, y'know? Still, you do bring up a fair point.

You're speaking of bathrobes, or acolyte robes....yes?

 

Why do so many people assume that those robes are heavy?

 

Not heavy - at least scholar's robes aren't necessarily made of heavy material. I believe that most robes come in summer or winter weight. They ARE cumbersome, however, and (like long hair) can provide an easy handhold for an enemy. Out of an urban setting (say camping or hunting) they tend to snag on branches, can be a hazard around an open fire, and if a wearer falls in a river, they can be a serious impediment.
Depending on design, material, and the situation, they probably aren't a significant problem most of the time.

 

Now why didn't the authors say that in the story instead of 'lol u have robes, u suck'.

Now I must get my hair cut, thank you for giving me a reason.

 

Any one mentioned giving the Weasly's money, hell I don't think Harry should give any one money.

 

I don't care if I'm necroposting, but then again, I actually have something to add to this thread:

Fics where the Wizarding World has 13th Century Marriage Laws. If I read another summary/story where Harry's forced to marry a pureblood, marries two or more women, or enslaves women into his Harem, I'm going to fucking puke blood.

Inspired by this piece of shit.

 

I know I'm necroing but I have something to add:

- Incest fics I don't care what ship it is if the characters are related there's no way in hell I'm reading it. I don't care how well its written, how good the plotline I'm not fucking reading it.

- Harry becoming more of a Stu Harry's pretty much a Stu in canon so it annoys the heck out of me when he suddenly gets superior intution, more intelligent than Hermione and can suddenly without explanation outduel people like Snape and Dumbledore. His legendary luck is bad enough without adding unlimited power and extraordinary intution in the mix.

- Harry/Ginny; Ron/Hermione - Same with the incest

- Luna not being dreamy and spaced out - There's nothing that annoys me more than a fic in which Luna's being "normal" Luna is not normal damn it!

- OOC with little to no explanation - I immediately hit the backbutton when I see Harry rebelling against Dumbledore for no reason, deciding to cut himself for no reason, or realising the Weasley's weren't really his friends.

Honestly all of those piss me off.

 

One of the things that tends to *enrage* me:
Any story that gets Our Hero tangled up in some sort of Absolutely Unbreakable Magickal Contract that he inherited from his father.
Of course, the TriWizard abhomination shows that in the British Wizarding World really IS insanely ruled by tradition.


And it bears repeating:
Anytime someone falls in love with their rapist.
* retch *
Because you WILL adore whoever takes your virginity, no matter how revolting the person.

 

But. But...Harry and Lily is hawt.

I hate it when Harry has this insanely close relationship with his teachers. Being friendly (sexual or not) with your teachers is cool, especially in a boarding school, but when people make Harry and Minerva or Snape or whoever best mates, I despise it instantly.

 

Ok, my own pet peeve is not when there are swords involved, though it does annoy me mildly. What really gets to me is when authors talk about Harry wielding this medieval broadsword for hours, fighting Voldemort sword to sword non-stop for hours on end.

Now, I take part in medieval re-enactment, and I speak from experience in saying that those swords are fucking heavy. Using them for more than a few minutes, and by using I mean doing anything that requires your arm to support the weight, is enough to cause your arm to damn near go dead. Practice lets you go on longer, but not by much.

The other thing is...when you are fighting sword on sword, almost all fights are over within the first few strokes. Only times this doesn't happen is if both swordsmen are of exactly even ability (if one is even slightly better, they will quickly get the upper hand), or both are wearing really really good armour.

I acknowledge that you can't expect most authors to know the intricacies of sword combat with a medieval broadsword (which is totally different from fencing. Try fencing with a broadsword and enjoy the torn ligaments.) but it is really common sense a lot of the time.

 

Fencing is still pretty freaking tiring. Most of the strenuous movement (and yes, it does get annoying) is in the thighs, wrists and arms. At the speed you have to move to be a good fencer, you can tire out especially quickly. Especially in full fencing gear, those masks get fucking hot. And when you're at an all-day competition in a hall full of sweaty men in Brisbane during 40 degree weather...you will sweat. A lot.

Swords, in general piss me off. Usually because they wuickly become a big part of the story with the wielder using it more than a wand. Which is fine if they're not magical (Though why would they feature and what's wrong with a gun?) but if it's Harry it's just stupid.