Well personally I would rather just see them either keep their names or have one of the family names added as last since that is what I am used to and it still looks weird to see the whole replacing family name thingy done this way* even after so long of getting used to it.

But I am aware that there is maybe a dozen countries that do it the way I am familiar with and Brazil is most of the total population so as odd as it is to see at times it doesn't really make sense for it to be otherwise.

That said adding 'nee' and having it in that order is even worse so would rather not see it.

*Both my mother and my aunt only replaced one of their two family names with one of their husbands' because they wanted to get rid of it.

 

We don't even use 'née' lel.

 

I don't have a problem with née, as it's a short, easy way to introduce both a character, and clarify any question about who they might be. I'd much rather read that than a flashback of a wedding, or two explanatory paragraphs.

Granted, it can be done well, or done not so well. Having Harry tease Hermione about is one way to go. . . "Hermione Weasley née Granger, whatever happened to just Hermione Granger, or Granger-Weasley? Is the wizarding world making you forget your feminism?"

"Shut it, Mr. Ginevra Weasley."

Not the best example, but I think it makes my point. Especially if there's an arc centered on Hermione and the wizarding world.

 

Even the example you use sounds stupid to me. I seriously doubt anyone actually uses née in casual conversation or even professionally unless they're talking about European royalty and marriage. I can even accept it if it's used briefly in legal/banking matters but there's no reason to introduce your character as "Hermione Weasley née Granger." We all fucking know who Hermione is.
Then again, almost everybody in Denmark keep/combine their surnames if they get married so it might be totally different elsewhere. I've always found the practice of abandoning your surname when you get married to be odd.

 

Most dialogue in fanfiction is unrealistic, Warburg.

People in real life talk over one another, they stutter, stammer, do a lot of 'uhh' and other sounds like that and they even say sentences with some grammatical mistakes.

But in fanfiction and mostly fiction in general, people don't do things like that. Everyone speaks in complete sentences and waits for others to finish, they never stutter unless its a character trait, they never stammer, never make unnecessary sounds and always speak with 100% correct grammar (unless the author makes a mistake).

People in fanfiction also don't act their age. At least in people in bad fanfiction. Kids don't act like kids, etc.

Writers seem to forget that kids in real life are greedy, selfish, inexperienced, lying, conceited assholes who don't know anything about how adult life works. What's worse, some of these kids remain like that until their late teens (if not adulthood).

The closest portrayal of 11 year old children I've seen was in Taure's Alexandra Potter, which is why it is my favorite fic (among other reasons).

 

Xandrel, written word simply doesn't posses some of the advantages that a visual medium does, which is why planning and writing an action scene or a heated discussion where people talk over each other and interrupt is harder on paper, where this stuff will just end up feeling awkward to the reader if you mess it up. Conversely, prose has it easier when it comes to worldbuilding and exposition. Few people would be willing to sit through an hour long conversation scene just so all the important details could be fleshed out. Written word allows much more flexibility here.

We'll just have to live with the fact that a courtroom scene will usually be more engaging in a film than a book.

 

That wasn't even close to the point I was making. We were talking about what kind of language people use, not grammar, stuttering or accents. I want what I read to be readable and relatively easy to comprehend. To give an example, look at a person like Dumbledore and how he speaks and compare him to Harry. The way they speak should be completely different and if you're a somewhat competent author, you can do this. If Dumbledore says things like 'yeah', it breaks my immersion and it makes the character less believable. It goes similarly for the way every other character speaks. Née being used in casual conversation makes it seem more artificial and out of character to me.

You're kind of proving my point here, so thanks for that I guess.

This is very subjective. I can agree with children being inexperienced, but what you're describing doesn't sound like any decently raised child that I've met.(and I got bullied in school, so I know a thing or two about how kids can be cruel) I honestly feel sorry for you if this is your view of children.

We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one I'm afraid. The portrayal of children in his fic was one of the main drawbacks for me.

 

Hah, not to mention that that Xandrel's view of kids as automatons set to "clueless asshole" doesn't mesh very well with the prepubescent schemers of AP (though I'll say this is a generalization).

 

Writing every child as a brat is annoying to read. I prefer for the younger character to be a more mature, but not impossibly so, children. Harry in canon for example was believably mature for his age as was Hermione in some ways (though not in others), while Ron was a good example of someone slightly less mature for his age as was Malfoy.

---------- Post automerged at 12:58 ---------- Previous post was at 12:57 ----------

Indecisiveness is certainly something needed in more dialogue though. Even Dumbledore made thoughtful 'hmmm' sounds.

 

My characters always talk over each other. Dialogue is particularly boring without the characters acting realistically to the comments. Ex.

"Harry, I have told you over and over, no one can Apparate in or out of Hogwarts!"

"How do you explain the house elves then? Or Fawkes and Dumbledore?"

"That is not Apparition!"

"Well, what do you call it then?"

"That's not the point."

"I'm beginning to think you don't have one."

"You've got some nerve! You can't even properly write a conversation between two characters!"

-

"Harry," Hermione said, an expression of the upmost distaste crossing her features, "I have told you over and over, no one can Apparate in or out of Hogwarts!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "How do you explain the house elves then? Or Fawkes and Dumbledore?"

Hermione's neck was as red as Ron's hair. The boy himself looked a bit stunned that Harry hadn't given up on the argument yet. Hermione snapped, "That is not Apparition!"

"Well, what do you call it then?"

She waffled, unsure of the proper term for house elf teleportation. "That's not the point--

"--I'm beginning to think you don't have one."

Ron tried to interrupt, but his words were lost under their loud voices.

"You've got some nerve!" Hermione exclaimed, appalled that Harry was fighting her. She ignored Ron to focus a glare at Harry. "You can't even properly write a conversation between two characters!"

 

Personally, I'd take the first one, if those were the two options. My preference would be a middle ground, though. Dialogue dressing is like salt: an essential ingredient, but nothing should actually taste like salt. Plus, if your actual dialogue is good enough, readers will be able to infer the emotions, expressions, and other quirks that naturally happen in a conversation without you having to say one word about them.

 

Have to agree there. Not every line needs to have a beat. That holds especially true in fast-paced arguments, where less is often more.

 

A real bugger for me is when people shorten the names of characters like Hermione to Herms or some other BS like it's supposed to be their nickname.

 

The hell you say! You can never have too much salt.

*this from the man that used to break pieces from salt-licks and chew on them, thus my opinion on this topic may be a tad biased.

 

I believe that would literally make me vomit.

 

You've obviously never eaten at Emeril Lagasse's Nola restaurant in New Orleans, where my wife and I both sent back dishes for being so heavily salted as to be inedible. 'Bam,' indeed. (They also charged me $11 for an espresso. It goes without saying that their TripAdvisor entry picked up a horrible review.)

 

Utmost.

/10char

 

Starting to get really fucking annoyed by 'politically savvy' Harry wowing thems misunderstood Goblins with a cringeworthy greeting regarding their coffers/ gold overflowing.

Just once I want a Goblin to respond 'and I hope your family dies in a fire, you brown-nosing, clueless little turd'.

Actually, having that happen to Hermione after she tries to be PC sounds hilarious.

 

Seconded. It ties into the larger issue of "nice goblins" so prevalent in fanon. Canon very clearly reminds us that goblins aren't nice. JK took care to point it out in the beginning, middle and end of the series. Hagrid, who finds dragons cuddly, isn't so hot on the goblins in PH. In GoF Bagman has to constantly evade them after screwing them out of some gold and in DH Griphook barely gives a fuck about the whole situation in the country, he just cares about the sword.

Just once, I'd like to read a good story where goblins team up with Voldemort and cut off the goldflow. That'd screw everyone over nicely.

 

Just once I'd like to read about a Goblin vs Wizards war.

Genocide ensues.